


Love Me Forever

by alyssacousland



Series: Inquisition Revisited [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Background story, Canon-Typical Violence, Cullenlingus, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Lyrium Addiction, Main story AU Modern Thedas, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Potty mouth Inquisitor, Slight AU & Canon divergence, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Story within a Story, Supernatural Elements, Swearing, Touching, anger issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-05-28 08:10:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 32
Words: 131,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6321745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyssacousland/pseuds/alyssacousland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beatrix never imagined her life would take such a turn. After all, she didn't even want to be at the Conclave listening to the peace talks between mages and templars. She has a terrible temper, one that has gotten her into trouble more than once. Now, people are calling her The Herald of Andraste. She struggles with her title and tries to do what she must to save the world, which isn't exactly what she wants to do. If only her temper and the world cooperated!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He put his right palm over his eye and rubbed hard, but the pain persisted – sharp and heavy as if it was a real dagger. When he opened his eyes all he could see were red spots dancing before him.

“Are you all right, Cullen?” the dark-haired woman he was traveling with asked, her voice laced with concern. 

“Now why is it that you never ask me if _I’m_ alright, Seeker?” the dwarf standing beside Cullen interrupted with a pout.

“I’m fine,” Cullen replied, as he fought against the nausea he was feeling at the moment.  

“Sure, you are! That shade of green looks good on you, Curly,” the dwarf chuckled.

“Varric, if you do _not_ shut up, _I’ll_ shut you up,” the Seeker glared.

“Just a headache, really,” Cullen gave them both a weak smile. “Nothing more.” He took a deep breath of crisp, cool mountain air and felt the pain ease a little.

“We are not far from Haven, but there is a tavern just up the hill. We are stopping there to eat and rest. Leliana – Sister Nightingale – said she would meet us there,” the woman said.

Cullen frowned. A tavern on the way to Haven. It would be full. A great deal of mages and templars were marching past them towards Haven. The Conclave was to be held in the Temple of Sacred Ashes, but not for at least another week. Consequently, the growing crowds of people were overflowing Haven at the moment. Cullen guessed that the noise in that tavern would be unbearable. Not something to come across at all when you have a pounding headache.   

“Lady Cassandra, I – I don’t think…er…my headache…” He trailed off for the Seeker had turned abruptly to face him with a frown.

“Nonsense. You will feel better if you eat and we _must_ meet up with Leliana,” she replied curtly. “We’re meeting with the Divine at the Chantry in Haven and you _must_ feel better to do that.”

“He said he had a headache, Seeker,” Varric interrupted. “And now you’ve gone and told him about the meeting. No pressure, right? Because pressure _isn’t_ what makes headaches worse.”

Cassandra glared at Varric and he shrugged nonchalantly, then winked at her. “Ugh!” the Seeker managed to get out through clenched teeth as she scowled at the dwarf, who was now grinning up at her.

Before the whole thing could escalate, however, Cullen swayed on his feet. This worried Cassandra, who rushed to his side and grabbed him by the shoulders. “Leliana said she would rent a room. I’ll have some stew prepared for you and send it up, Cullen. Will that do?”

“I would appreciate it, Lady Cassandra,” Cullen smiled.

“Please stop calling me that,” Cassandra replied shaking her head sternly. “We will be working together after all and I am _not_ a lady.”

“Nope,” Varric muttered under his breath.

Cullen inclined his head, giving her a short nod as they reached the tavern. When they opened the door and walked inside, the din was deafening. Cullen sighed as his bleary eyes scanned the place, the throbbing pain in his head reaching an all-time high.

He hated it when he was right.

…

Beatrix Trevelyan slammed the door behind her. She took deep breaths to control herself and started pacing the room angrily.

They wouldn’t _let_ her go to the Conclave, would they? Well, she was twenty-two years old now and didn’t have to do what they asked her to do, did she? Her younger brother Andras was going, why couldn’t she? Initiate? They wanted her to become an initiate? They wanted to make her go to the Chantry? Isolate her from life itself? She gave a growl, her cheeks a bright red, the beginnings of a headache making her wince slightly. She rubbed her temples vigorously, willing it to go away.

_“Your brother is a templar,” her mother had said in a calm tone. “He’s going because he has been ordered to go.”_

_“Duty is difficult at times, princess, but it is what we do as a family. The Trevelyans will always put duty first. Remember that,” her father had chimed in._

She found herself wondering what had prompted her return to Ostwick in the first place. Traveling around Orlais and the Free Marches for a few years had made her strong. Even though she made it a point to write to her parents and her brother, she had loved the sense of freedom. Learning the basics of combat fighting had helped her immensely. She thanked the Maker that her Instructors had insisted on actual combat – something her parents were not aware of when they had agreed to send her to the University of Orlais. They thought that she had gone to study History and she had kept the truth from them even when she traveled around the Free Marches. Of course she’d been studying the History of Andraste and Orlais while she was there, but she had never told them she had also been taking lessons to defend herself with daggers and a bow. 

Sighing deeply, she went to her wardrobe and started throwing things into a backpack. She knew that it would break her parents’ hearts, but she could not, _would not_ go quietly and turn her back on life the way they wanted her to. She would die of boredom in a Chantry. She had never been as pious as her mother or brother and she seriously doubted that she would be a good Initiate  - not even a fair one to be quite honest.

Once she was packed, she walked down the hallway to the sitting room where her parents were. Her father was reading and her mother was drinking tea and put her cup down with a smile as she walked into the spacious room. Her little brother, Maximillian, laughed when she appeared, looking up at her with adoration. She smiled down at the eight-year-old, setting her backpack down on the floor for a moment.

“I see you’ve already packed,” her father acknowledged.

“I’m not going to the Chantry,” Beatrix said firmly, her voice calm.

The only sound heard in the room at that moment, was the fire crackling merrily as it burned steadily in the fireplace. Even her younger brother was still. Her mother then broke the silence with a sigh as she reached for her tea, her hand trembling slightly.

“I can’t go there,” Beatrix continued, the tremor in her voice belying her calm appearance and demeanor. “You both know that it’s not the life for me.”

“And flinging your life at danger is?” Her father shot back, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

“You want to keep me safe, I understand, father, I truly do! But you cannot keep me locked up somewhere in order to do this. You know I would simply cease to be myself. Are you ready to see me turn into a shadow of what I am? Do you honestly want this for me?” Beatrix quietly countered, her sapphire eyes holding her father’s dark blue ones.

Her father stood up, his eyes flashing angrily. “Beatrix! You think you know what the world is like, but you do not! At this moment, a war between the mages and templars makes traveling nearly impossible!”

“I will keep to the roads with people around. I _will_ be careful. I’ll take a ship to Ferelden and then board a wagon,” Beatrix said as her father turned around and faced the fireplace.

“I’ll have no way to protect you.” Her father’s voice was nearly a whisper.

Beatrix felt the tears, but controlled herself. She stepped closer and put her arms around him. “Papa,” she said in a very low voice. “I love you and mother, but I must do this. I don’t know why I have to do this, only that I _must_ be at the Conclave.”

“Perhaps the Maker is showing you something that He hasn’t shown us,” her mother interrupted. “We must keep our faith strong, Alexander.”

He turned and held his daughter tightly, while sighing deeply. After a while he broke the hug and held her by her shoulders at arm’s length, looking at her lovingly.

“I cannot stop you from going if your heart is set on it and maybe your mother is right,” he sighed again.

“Promise you’ll write to us dear,” her mother said standing beside her.

Beatrix took her time holding them both close to her heart, the tears glistening in her eyes. When she hugged Maximillian, she gave him a tight squeeze and he was frowning when she let go.

“I will.”

…

_Dearest father and mother,_

_My journey to Ferelden was quite uneventful, even though the ship was caught in stormy waters. The storm actually helped us reach Ferelden much faster. We docked in Gwaren, and I took a wagon to Haven, the last one available as a matter of fact! It was extremely crowded, but the journey wasn’t unpleasant at all – maybe because I was looking forward to our destination?_

_As soon as we arrived in Haven, I tried booking a room at the local inn but failed. I figured this would happen so I bought materials to pitch a tent overlooking the frozen lake. I honestly thank the Maker for giving me the insight to pack warm clothes and blankets. The fact that I already knew how to pitch a tent helped immensely. Everyone is too busy with their own thoughts and concerns and nobody has even looked in my direction._

_The Conclave is to be held tomorrow, so I am hurrying to finish this missive as quickly as possible. My first impression of Haven was that it wasn’t what I thought it would be. The little town is charming, covered in snow and the frozen lake in the background paints a pretty picture indeed. However, it’s full to the brim with people, mainly mages, templars and Chantry priests and priestesses. There seems to be a military organization centered in the town as well, probably to lend protection to the Divine._

_I haven’t seen Andras at all, and I’ve looked for him. He could already be stationed in the Temple of Sacred Ashes. If this is the case, I’ll probably meet up with him tomorrow. I can’t wait to see him! We’ve seen so little of him since he joined the templars a few years ago, and he_ is _my favorite brother – but don’t tell Maximillian this!_

_I’ll write you right after the Conclave starts. It will be very crowded at the Temple, so I have decided to visit, try to find Andras, and then come back to Haven to wait until the whole thing ends. I’m not patient enough to sit through the peace talks, as you well know!_

_Missing you!_

_Your,_

_Beatrix_

…

Darkness all around her. She groans, trying to see something – anything. Her left hand hurts. An eerie green light emanates from it and she cries out from the pain.

Behind her, chittering sounds that some kind of animal would make. Turning her head, her heart stops when she sees the creatures. Many eyes on eight spindly legs. She turns and runs – the adrenaline fueling her.

Looking up, she sees a glowing figure – the figure of a woman. The woman is on top of a cliff and the way to her is steep, but she doesn’t care. The chattering spiders are following her closely. If she is to die, she will at least try to reach the figure who is now stretching her hand towards her.

She starts the climb, willing herself not to look back. If she does, she is dead, for she knows that she will freeze with terror because the spiders are getting closer. Desperately, she finds footholds in the jagged rocks and continues her ascent, the figure gazing down at her now growing closer. She is sweating and panting, pushing herself to the limit.

She must reach the top.

When she does, she stretches out her hand towards the woman who is reaching out to her, but it is not enough. Giving a cry, she wills herself forward with all the strength she can muster –

Darkness descends on her.

Eternal darkness.

Is she dead?

A sharp pain wakes her, and she is  nearly blinded by the green light coming from her left hand.

Soldiers surround her and point their swords at her.

_What? Why?_

She passes out again, but this time, she welcomes the darkness.

…

The eerie green mark flared up and woke her again. Looking around, she saw she was in a dungeon and in shackles. The pain in her hand kept her from reacting to her precarious situation. Soldiers dressed in uniform with their swords at the ready surrounded her and after a few moments the door to the dungeon opened and two women walked in.

Her heart started beating – too fast, too loudly, she thought. Beatrix was sure they could hear it. Fear gripped her and she immediately got angry, which is what she always did when she was afraid.

“What is the meaning of this?” She protested with a sneer, looking down at her shackles.

The dark-haired woman bent down and grabbed her left hand roughly and Beatrix bit back a cry. “What is the meaning of _this_?” she flung back, nostrils flaring – her eyes angry.

Letting go of her hand she stood back up and started to circle Beatrix. The other woman, wearing some kind of coat with a hood, stood silently in the shadows watching them.

“There was an explosion at the Temple of Sacred Ashes and _you_ are the only survivor,” the pacing woman continued. “Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you now!”

Beatrix was taken aback, her thoughts on Andras. No survivors. She refused to acknowledge the devastation this statement caused her and the tears that threatened to fall.

“Do you know who I am?” She snarled furiously at both women. “When my father hears of this he will burn your pathetic organization to the ground!”

The dark-haired woman stopped pacing and faced her, her eyes incredulous for a brief moment before the anger twisted her face. But before she could speak or yell, the woman in the hood walked closer and Beatrix finally saw her face and eyes. She reached out to the dark-haired woman, putting a hand on her arm. “We need her, Cassandra,” she said in a low voice. Then her light blue eyes fell on Beatrix and she addressed her directly. “You remember what happened at the temple? How you got that mark? What do you remember about the explosion?”

“I – I can’t remember,” Beatrix faltered for a moment. She bowed her head and for short time looked crestfallen, lost. Then she looked up at the woman who was now interrogating her. “If  you let me go, I might remember something.” Her words were said with a smirk which infuriated Cassandra even more.

“Ugh! This is pointless!” Cassandra said loudly, the anger making her voice tremble. “She will not tell us!”

“If I tell you what I remember, will you kill me?” Beatrix asked calmly. She was asking Cassandra the question, but she was looking directly at the hooded woman.

“No, we need you alive,” the woman replied. “My name is Leliana, and we would like to know what you witnessed.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” Beatrix replied haughtily. “You would like me to tell you that I caused the explosion and killed all those people at the Temple of Sacred Ashes. My brother was a templar stationed there. I wanted to find him, to let him know that I was here. I had no interest in hearing the peace talks. Now tell me, do you still think I did this?” Her voice trembled, the tears now running down her cheeks, unable to hold them back any longer. “Since you require a reply to your questions, I can tell you I remember nothing about the explosion, but I do remember things chasing me in a dark place. And a woman.”

“A woman?” Leliana repeated.

“I don’t know who she was,” Beatrix took a deep breath. She had stopped crying and looked first at Leliana, who was stepping back. Cassandra turned to Leliana and asked her to go to the forward camp. That she would take the prisoner.

“The ‘prisoner’?” Beatrix chuckled bitterly. “You people are unbelievable. My _name_ is Beatrix Trevelyan. And I can see you need a scapegoat desperately.”

At that moment the mark on her hand flared up and she gave a sharp cry of pain. She failed to see the look of mild surprise that Leliana had on her face for a fleeting moment when she had told them her name. When Beatrix looked up again, Leliana had left the room, leaving her alone with Cassandra, who was taking her shackles off and lifting her to her feet. She quickly used a rope to tie her hands back up again and led her out of the dungeon.

The moment Beatrix stepped outside, she was in a state of shock. The whole sky looked green, the same color as her mark. The green color in the sky was swirling around and at its very core, the light shone brightly. There were also pieces of stone revolving around and very close to the center.

“An explosion did that?” Beatrix asked unbelievably. Cassandra did not reply, but led her down a path. Most of the people who lived in Haven were flanking the way, throwing dark glances at her. She heard some call her ‘Murderer’ and others exclaim ‘Kill the survivor!’

“They need you to be the culprit. The death of our Most Holy has struck everyone hard,” Cassandra murmured, barely audible enough for Beatrix to hear.

When they arrived at the gates that led up the mountain, Cassandra unbound her. “Where are you taking me?”

“We’re going to the Breach,” she said pointing at the swirling thing in the sky. “They say your mark can help us close it. We shall see soon enough.”

“’ _They_ ’ say? Who is ‘ _they_ ’?” Beatrix asked with a sneer. “Another secret you wish to keep from me?”

Cassandra did not reply and at that moment, the Breach flared and the mark on Beatrix’s hand did the same. She gave a cry, falling to her knees as she clutched her hand in pain.

“Every time the Breach flares up, your mark does the same. It is killing you,” Cassandra said quietly. “Come. This is the way to the forward camp. It is not far.”

…

Before reaching the forward camp there was a lot of action on the way. Beatrix began to tire – she hated demons, and had nearly wiped herself out from all the fighting when they arrived at an actual rift spewing demons out. She quickly unsheathed the daggers that Cassandra had let her keep for her defense and her exhaustion disappeared as if by magic. There were people fighting the demons and she would _not_ let them die.

As soon as the demons had been dealt with, a bald elf grabbed her hand and shouted out five words to her. “Quickly! Before more come through!” Then he directed her hand at the rift.

Beatrix felt like her whole hand was on fire. Like _she_ was on fire. The pain caused her to cry out as her hand came to life. A brilliant green ray shot out from the mark and the rift exploded into nothingness.

“What the fuck?!” Beatrix exclaimed eloquently as she pulled her hand away, staring at the elf.

The elf smirked back at her and she blinked. “What did you do?” Beatrix added.

“This is a clear case of _‘it’s not me, it’s you_ ,’” said a dwarf approaching them. He was holding a crossbow, so Beatrix took a step back.

“The credit is all yours, I did nothing,” the elf said calmly, a faint smile on his lips.

Beatrix was actually struck dumb for a few moments as she stared at the eerie pulsating mark on her hand. “ _I_ did that? So, this mark... _can_ do something after all…”

“Indeed,” the elf replied. He then started to talk to Cassandra about the possibilities. Beatrix listened attentively, her gaze flitting from one to the other. It seemed that the elf knew a great deal about the mark – maybe even about everything that was happening. Cassandra showed him respect after all.

And if _Cassandra_ – of all people – respected him, it meant a whole lot of something.

…

They fought demons on their way to the forward camp, of course. When they finally reached it, she saw they were on a wide bridge. She sighed as she looked down at her mercenary armor covered in demon ichor. It was disgusting.

They replenished on potions and walked toward a table where Leliana was arguing with a man. He clearly was a cleric and Beatrix sighed inwardly to herself. She was tired, thirsty, hungry and covered in demon gore. She had no patience at the moment to deal with some Chantry bureaucrat.

Of course the Chantry bureaucrat would want her in chains and dragged to Val Royeaux immediately, she thought. The infuriating man went on and on, bickering first with Leliana and then with Cassandra. She felt her temper rising and clenched her fists, trying to control the outburst that was coming. When the mark started to flare to life and the pain enveloped her again, she gave a scream.

“Sonofabitch, Andrastefucker!”

The silence was a bit too much after all the arguing, but she saw Solas smile faintly and heard Varric snort. Leliana turned away briefly, her lips twitching and Cassandra just glared at her.  The complaining bureaucrat stared at her, his eyes bulging. Her swearing had effectively silenced him when nothing else could.

The mark stopped pulsing and the pain died down slightly. Beatrix was panting a little, her eyes fixed on the swirling Breach ahead. It was then that Cassandra chose to speak.

“How do _you_ think we should proceed? Take the mountain path or charge with the soldiers?”

Beatrix burst out laughing. Everyone else fixed their eyes on her, Varric grinning and Solas shaking his head with a smile. Once she started laughing, however, she found it hard to stop.

“Ha ha ha!” she sputtered. “Oh, this is priceless! You’re asking _ME_ how to proceed? Ha ha ha ha ha!”

“You have the mark,” Solas chuckled.

“And we must keep you alive until we reach the Breach,” Cassandra added.

She stopped laughing abruptly, and nodded. “Of course. It’s the mark on my hand you’re protecting, not me at all. Let’s charge with your soldiers. If I die, I’ll try my best to close the Breach first. I don’t think I’ll make it to a trial in Val Royeaux anyway.”

…

They arrived to another smaller rift where the demons were attacking some of the Inquisition soldiers. Beatrix scowled as she leapt towards the closest one. It was green and had a lot of teeth. Its wail sent a shiver up her spine, but she ignored it as she quickly moved to stealth and sliced at what she thought was its throat, grinning to herself when it slithered into the ground, wailing as it died.

She heard Cassandra’s yell of pain as a shade managed to sink its claws into her shoulder. Whirling around, she caught it with one of her daggers and watched as it disappeared into the ground as well. The mark came to life as she held her hand up, pointing to the rift. She felt a pull and tugged, closing the rift with a look of pain on her face.

“Yeah, _demonfuckers_! I’ve come to kill you all, so you might not actually want to _cross the Veil_ to slaughter the innocent!”

Everyone around her was staring and she giggled, slightly amused at what she had said. She turned to the dwarf who was beside her when she heard him finally break down and burst out laughing. The elf, Solas, tried to hide the smile on his face, but failed spectacularly. She grinned back at them, while Cassandra shook her head, then hurriedly swallowed the contents of a healing potion.

“Excellent work, Seeker. I see you managed to close the rift.”

Beatrix turned at the sound of his voice and her eyes widened slightly.

_Maker! Soooo handsome!_

“I had nothing to do with it, Commander. This is the prisoner’s work, not mine,” Cassandra corrected him.

“Really?” The Commander said his eyes opening slightly with surprise. Beatrix frowned at his reaction. “I hope they’re right about you. We’ve lost a lot of people to get you here.”

_Stupid mother fucker!_

“I’m trying my best,” Beatrix replied in icy tones, crossing her arms. “Should I _DIE_ to prove it?”

The Commander blushed, all the way to the tip of his ears.

“No! I didn’t mean – “ his eyes widening. “Maker’s Breath!”

Varric snorted and when Beatrix looked at him, she saw he was grinning. She scowled and shook her head, trying to keep herself from snapping at him too.

_Stupid temper!_

Cassandra ignored this and continued to talk to him about the Temple and his soldiers. Cullen’s eyes never left Beatrix’s face as he talked and was soon saying goodbye with a “Maker watch you all.” As he turned, he saw one of his soldiers limping and hurried over to help him. Beatrix watched this and then turned, staring at the scene before her.

It was a horrific scene. Burnt bodies lay there, some of them looked like they were still screaming silently. She grimaced as she walked forward, the rest following in her wake. She willed herself to look at the Breach instead, wondering how she was going to fix all this.

As soon as they reached the Breach, they noticed a rift directly underneath it. It pulsated and changed form. Leliana joined them and Cassandra asked her to order her men around the walls, ready to engage. As they walked towards the stairs, a booming voice was heard.

“Now is the hour of our victory.”

Beatrix stopped in her tracks. Where had she heard that voice before?

Cassandra turned and walked back to Beatrix.

“Are you alright?” she asked, an edge of concern in her voice.

“I’ve got a mark on my left hand that throbs painfully and am going to probably die, or be taken to Val Royeaux for a trial after this. Why wouldn’t I be alright?” she returned sarcastically.

Cassandra pursed her lips and turned around abruptly, shaking her head as she continued to walk. The rest followed in silence until Varric spotted the red lyrium around the place. Beatrix heard the fear and disgust in his voice as he spoke to Cassandra about it. It was obvious that the red lyrium was dangerous and Beatrix kept away from it even before Varric warned her to stay away. 

They went down a flight of stairs and as Beatrix approached the pulsating rift, a scene suddenly appeared before them. The Divine was being held with what looked like magical bonds, giving off a reddish glow. Beatrix gasped as she saw herself storm into the place demanding what was going on. Then the whole thing disappeared as suddenly as it had appeared before.

“You _were_ there! The Divine called out to you and you went into the room to help her!” Cassandra exclaimed. “What happened? What were we seeing? Who was talking?”

“I don’t know!” Beatrix yelled back at Cassandra. “I can’t remember!”

Solas, who had been studying the rift, turned back to them and said that it had to be opened in order to close it properly. This meant that demons would likely come through.

They took their positions and waited as Beatrix directed her glowing hand towards the closed rift. The green beam that suddenly shot out made her want to scream, but she held her arm steady. The rift suddenly opened and a huge Pride demon jumped out. It looked at them all and roared.

Beatrix snarled and whisked out her daggers. If she was going to die, she would not go quietly.

“Let’s dance!” she yelled as she attacked, a sardonic smile on her face.

…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Beatrix woke up, staring dumbly at the ceiling for a few moments. Where was she? She remembered she’d been looking for her brother in Haven, but couldn’t find him. Suddenly, she remembered everything else that had happened: Cassandra, Leliana, the Breach and the demons, especially that horrible Pride demon at the end – it all came back to her. But she was lying on a comfortable bed and not only had her injuries been tended to, she was also clean and dressed in a long white tunic and loose breaches. Was this what someone who wanted her taken to Val Royeaux for a trial did?

She didn’t have time to think about how uncanny the whole situation was because a sound prompted her to turn her head and sit up in bed, her eyes falling on an elven girl who was staring at her, alarm written all over her face. The elf started apologizing profusely and Beatrix blinked a few times, taken aback by the elf’s demeanor and reverence. 

When she tried to explain that she already was awake, the girl fell to her knees and her forehead touched the ground.

_So, is this some kind of weird shitty dream?_

She immediately tried to get up and tell the poor girl that she had done nothing wrong, when she was surprised to hear the elf mutter that Lady Cassandra was waiting for her in the Chantry and ran off, slamming the door behind her.

She stared dumbly at the door, trying to make some sense of what she had witnessed so far, when she discovered to her horror that she needed to relieve herself. _Desperately_.

She stood and walked to the door, flinging it open. The cold mountain air rushed in making her situation a bit more uncomfortable. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw two rows of people, one on the left and the other on the right, each row led by a soldier, leaving her an empty path in the middle. Some of the villagers had their heads bowed and their hands clasped before them. And the ones that were looking at her were looking at her in _reverence_.

She took a step back into her cabin and slammed the door, shutting out the crazy scene before her. Glancing around the room, she desperately looked for a chamber pot. Instead, she spotted leather armor laid out on the only table in the room and she grabbed it, quickly dressing herself. Once she was done, she saw a small window at the back of the cabin and smiled to herself. She quickly walked to the window , opening it wide. She would have to pee just outside. She would never make it to a latrine in time.

As soon as she had relieved herself, she walked round to the back of another cabin, where she could get a better view of what was happening if she peeked around the side. Sure enough the rows of people were still there, waiting patiently for her to open the door again. 

Shaking her head, she made her way back to her cabin, going back inside and sitting on the only chair in the room. Since she couldn’t make sense of what was happening, she decided to open the door and walk to the Chantry, passing the people and ignoring what she was seeing _if_ what she was seeing was real to begin with. Just as she stood up and faced the door with resolve, she heard a knock.

She reached the door in two steps and flung it open. Varric, the dwarf she had fought with, was standing there with a smile on his face.

“I’m _so_ glad to see you!” she exclaimed in one breath, keeping her voice down.

“I guessed the rows of worshippers were making you stay inside, Buttercup,” the dwarf smiled up at her.

“You can see them too?” she asked hopefully.

“Yep. It isn’t your imagination and you aren’t crazy,” Varric chuckled.

“But, _why_ are they doing this?”

“Well, you _did_ close that rift. That was a nasty one,” Varric shrugged.

“They worship me because I closed a rift? That doesn’t make any sense at all!”

Varric just grinned. “No shit! From murderer to worshipped icon! I can rescue you if you want. We can slip into the tavern and –“

“I can’t drink _now_ ,” she shook her head, then firmly closed the door behind her. “I have to meet Cassandra at the Chantry.”

“Better you than me!” the dwarf said with a lopsided grin. “I’ll be waiting near the tavern after you meet with her. I’m guessing you’ll need a strong one then.”

…

He groaned weakly, trying to understand where he was. He was lying on the snow and freezing, that much was true. If he did not make it to the trees, he knew he had a greater chance of dying.

Frozen to death below the mountain where the Temple of Sacred Ashes once stood.

He forced his body to turn, in spite of the heavy armor he was wearing. Each movement he made took so much effort…it took an eternity to get himself face down on the snow – to make crawling easier. Once he finally managed to turn himself around, he lay there panting for a while, unable to gather the strength he needed to continue.

He closed his eyes, grateful that the dreadful ringing in his ears had finally ceased. For the briefest of moments, he wished he had been killed in the explosion. It would have been better, instead of slowly freezing to death. He had been ordered by his Knight Captain to mingle with the crowds outside that were clamoring to get in. They were becoming agitated and it was necessary to post some of the templars in the area to avoid skirmishes.

None of this mattered, however. If he did not fight to stay alive, he would die anyway.

He was sure that if he had a vial of lyrium he could make it. The blue liquid would warm his body and give him the strength to get up and walk. At least until he found some sort of shelter. He didn’t know how long it’d been since the explosion either. He had only regained consciousness a short while ago. But if his craving for lyrium and food were any indication, he had most certainly been here for at least a couple of days.

He grunted as he forced himself to start inching forward, grateful for the gauntlets he was wearing as the steel broke the surface of the snow. He moved slowly but surely, knowing that the tree he was hoping to reach was far off, and he started chanting to himself – if only to keep his mind off that fact. If he admitted defeat in any way he would die, and he did _not_ want to die.

The effort of reaching the tree seemed endless, but through his exhaustion he could see its shadow getting closer. He was panting audibly now, little swirls of fog forming in the bitter cold, melting the ice crystals that were nearest to him. At last, after one deep groan, he lurched forward, his eyes shutting briefly only to open again and stare…

Not at a tree trunk, but at steel boots, inches away from his eyes. What? Where had he come from? Was he finally hallucinating on the brink of death?

The man dressed in templar armor helped him sit up and sat down himself so they were both at eye level. His eyes were red-rimmed and his complexion pale and sallow; his hair thinning. Without a word he handed him a vial with a smile.

“This will help you,” the man said, speaking with a terrible accent. “Drink it all up!”

And Andras Trevelyan, ever the obedient templar, drank his first vial of red lyrium. 

…

Beatrix stopped short before entering the room. It was not that she was gathering courage to enter, but the fact that the Chancellor and Cassandra were in a heated argument. She smiled as she listened, finally flinging the door open wide and marching into the room when they had fallen silent. The infuriating man turned his gaze at her and ordered the two templars stationed at the door to apprehend her. Cassandra ordered the templars to disregard his order and to leave them. They bowed their heads and left the room.

Beatrix grinned as she caught the cleric’s eye. She was infinitely amused at the whole display before her. She noticed Leliana in the corner, readying herself to verbally assault the Chancellor herself. Beatrix continued to silently observe the exchange and a chuckle escaped her lips when Leliana openly accused the Chancellor of murdering the Divine himself. A few minutes later, Cassandra brought a heavy tome to the table. 

“As of this moment, I declare the Inquisition reborn,” Cassandra stated assertively. “We will close the breach, we will find those responsible, and we will restore order. With or without your approval!”

The Chancellor’s face was so red, Beatrix thought it would burst open like a ripe fruit. He turned around and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

“That was brilliant, ladies!” Beatrix clapped. “If this is why you called me here, I want to say I appreciate having something to laugh at!”

“No, that isn’t why you’re here,” Cassandra responded. “We wanted to tell you about the Inquisition, and ask if you could help us.”

“Help you how?” Beatrix asked curiously.

“This is the Divine’s directive,” Leliana said, pointing at the book on the table. “Rebuild the Inquisition of old. Find those who would stand against the chaos. We aren’t ready. We have no leader, no numbers and now, no Chantry support.”

“But we have no choice,” Cassandra continued, turning slightly to look at Beatrix. “We must act now. With _you_ at our side.”

“Ah,” Beatrix said. “I see. The mark on my hand is the only thing that can close the Breach and the rifts after all.”

“We need you to help us restore order,” Cassandra offered as a reply.

“What was this Inquisition of old, exactly? Does it have something to do with how the Templar order began?” Beatrix asked.

“I see you’ve studied Chantry history,” Cassandra smiled.

“I was sent to the University of Orlais to do just that,” Beatrix smiled back. “Of course, my parents never knew I was also learning how to fight.”

Leliana chuckled at this. She glanced at Cassandra, who was still smiling at Beatrix. Unexpectedly, Cassandra held out her hand.

“Help us.”

The pleas for help and outstretched hand before Beatrix were gestures she would never have expected from someone like Cassandra. But after a few moments, she took her hand and shook it once, still smiling. Even though Cassandra was tough, she was honest, and this made Beatrix trust her.

“We’ll have to let the Commander and the Ambassador know, so we can all meet here,” Leliana said, moving away from the table.

“I’m hungry, though. If I don’t eat, I doubt I will be able to contribute to anything,” Beatrix said with a sigh. “Also, I would appreciate a chamber pot in my cabin.”

Leliana chuckled. “I didn’t know there wasn’t one there. I’ll tell Josephine about it.”

“Josephine is our Ambassador. She’s also been here since we got together to help protect the Divine,” Cassandra explained. “I’ll be off to talk to the Commander, so we can decide what must be done. Do you know where the inn is?”

Beatrix nodded, her stomach suddenly growling. This time both Cassandra and Leliana chuckled. “We’ll meet you here in an hour, then,” Leliana said.

“I’ll be here,” Beatrix grinned. She turned and headed out of the room, straight to the inn. She remembered Varric wanted her to have a drink with him, but right now she was so hungry she decided to have that drink much, much later.

It wouldn’t do to get drunk when things were finally starting to look up, right? It wouldn’t do at all.

…

Cullen dismissed his soldiers from training as he head off towards his cabin in order to wash up and get ready for the meeting in the Chantry. He was not looking forward to this meeting. When he’d first met the Herald, he had been rude to her and this was bothering him immensely.

He didn’t know why he had said what he said to her, but he knew it was the wrong thing to say the very first moment the words had slipped out of his mouth, even before her reply. He only hoped he hadn’t ruined things completely between them. They would be working together after all.

Shaking his head slightly, he opened the door to his cabin and strode inside, heading directly to his wash basin and a large bucket of very cold water.

He stripped himself of his coat first and then his armor, wetting a wash cloth he had next to the basin. Grabbing a bar of lemon-scented soap, he proceeded to scrub himself clean, finally dumping the entire bucket of icy water over himself. He shivered slightly and then dried himself off with a towel, as he worked on his hair in front of a mirror next to the basin. His movements were automatic and he paid little attention to them, letting his mind wander instead.

And wander it did. Without meaning to, he found himself reliving the moment at the top of the mountain. The moment when he had first laid eyes on the Herald.

The first time he laid eyes on her, she had leapt out of the shadows to kill a shade that was assaulting one of his soldiers mercilessly. From that moment on, he continued observing her, twisting around as he fought so that she was in his line of sight at all times.

She danced around the field gracefully, almost without effort. He also noticed she fought with a lopsided smile on her face, always out of the reach of the demons. It was plain to see that she was good at what she did, and that she was enjoying herself immensely.

When the green beam had shot out of her palm and latched onto the rift, he had blinked against the bright light and continued to stare at her beautiful face. For she was beautiful – very, _very_ beautiful. When she had yelled out her final curse at the demons, he only felt more attracted to her, even though she was covered in demon ichor and grime.

Cullen blinked back at his reflection in the mirror, willing himself to focus on his hair, taking his time in taming the wild curls. He scowled at his body now, for he was sporting the same erection he had when he had first spotted the Herald at the top of the mountain. It was highly improper and wouldn’t do to behave like a teenager bent on having sex with the first female he encountered. 

It wouldn’t do at all.

…

Beatrix Anna Trevelyan had always prided herself in being able to hold her liquor well. It was one of the first things she had mastered successfully – fighting with daggers the second. It was also extremely satisfying. So when she first realized that she was getting drunk, it had been quite a surprise to put it mildly.

In truth, it was not entirely her fault. She had been blindsided by Varric, who had been _inside_ the bloody inn instead of outside like he told her. Still, she managed to have a whole bowl of stew before finishing the bottle of Antivan brandy that Varric had brought with him, listening attentively to everything he was telling her.

“So, Buttercup,” Varric said as he reached for the now empty bottle of brandy, “what about you? I know you’re a Marcher, I recognize the accent.” He frowned slightly when he shook the bottle and saw the brandy was all gone.

“Yesh,” she slurred, “from Osh-Ost-Osswickkk.”

Varric’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “You’re actually related to the Trevelyans in Ostwick? I’ve heard of them. You breed horses and grow vineyards that produce one of the best wines in the Free Marches, right?”

Beatrix nodded her head and nearly fell off her seat. Varric quickly stood up, and moved to her side to hold her steady.

“Just a guess, Buttercup, but I think you’ve had too much to drink.”

“You hafffff beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeautiful chesss ‘air,” Beatrix grinned. Then, without warning, she pitched forward, her head falling on the table with a loud thud as she passed out.

“Well, _that’s_ gonna hurt,” Varric muttered to himself.

…

Cassandra marched into the tavern, huffing angrily to herself. Her eyes swept over Flissa, the barkeeper, who flinched visibly. Before she could approach and talk to her, however, she spotted Varric at a table in the far end of the room. Slumped right next to him, her head on the table, was Beatrix.

Shaking her head furiously, she advanced on Varric, her eyes shooting daggers at him. By the time she reached him, he was already holding up his palms in a defensive gesture.

“Whatever you think I did, you’re wrong, Seeker,” he said calmly, a hint of fear in his wide eyes.

“We’ve been looking all over for her! There is a meeting in the Chantry she is over two hours late for!” Cassandra shouted at him, her nostrils flaring.

“I swear to you I didn’t know about the meeting,” Varric said. “I didn’t even know she drank all the brandy either! I was just talking to her, hoping to have a couple of drinks so she could relax – never knew she was relaxing _that_ much!” 

“Ugh!” Cassandra retorted, her disgust evident.

“I can wake her up for you if you want me to,” Varric offered.

“I’ll do that! You’ve done enough,” Cassandra growled at the dwarf.

Varric stood up shaking his head and left the inn without a backward glance.

“Flissa!” Cassandra yelled at the barkeeper.

“Yes?” Flissa started nervously.

“I’ll need some coffee, cold water and an elfroot potion!”

“Yes, mum! Right away!”

…

An hour later, both Cassandra and Beatrix were walking down the corridor in the Chantry that led to the room where they had their meetings. Beatrix was feeling like a ton of bricks had suddenly taken hold of her brain. The pain that came with the bricks was awful as well.

It was a headache that superseded all other headaches, proud and unyielding. 

Cassandra had given her some mint leaves for her to chew on, but every time she chewed a wave of nausea would wash over her. She was sure that she would end up vomiting all over the table in the meeting room if she kept on chewing, so when Cassandra wasn’t looking, she spit the chewed leaves out and noticed with horror that they landed on the hat of one of the priestesses who was chanting softly in front of a statue of Andraste. At the same moment, her mark sparked and she stopped walking for a moment, only to hold it up and stare at it angrily. 

She wanted the damn thing gone, truth be told. Since she knew that it was impossible, she felt annoyed at the thing. It was almost like the mark had taken up a life all on its own. Something _not_ very encouraging at all.

“Does it hurt?” Cassandra cut through her thoughts.

“If it didn’t close the Breach, what good is it?” Beatrix muttered between clenched teeth.

“You did everything we asked of you. Solas believes that more power is needed for the Breach. The same kind of power that opened it,” Cassandra replied.

“Now that’s a thought!” Beatrix responded quickly. “Same kind of power! It wouldn’t bring death and chaos and destruction along with it! Not at all!”

“And people say _I’m_ a pessimist,” Cassandra chuckled as they advanced towards the door.

Flinging the door open, Cassandra went in, followed by Beatrix. Her eyes fell on the person who was standing directly across from her, in front of the large table that now had a rather large map spread out on top of it.

Golden eyes stared back at her, filled with some kind of light that caused her eyes to widen slightly. Her eyes dropped down to his perfect nose and soft lips, and on a scar on the right corner of his mouth that begged to be kissed. He really was handsome. Shame he was such an arrogant prick who must have the girls stringing after him, at his beck and call –

Her thoughts were cut short by Cassandra, who was  formally introducing the people in the room. Giving her mind a shake she quickly nodded her head at Leliana, and managed to remain calm while schooling her face and eyes to utter blankness when she regarded him – Cullen, the Commander of the Inquisition forces.

“It was only for a moment on the field, but I’m glad you made it out alive, my Lady.” His accent was Fereldan and his voice made her start thinking about all the improper thoughts she could ever think of in her entire life. Since she was starting to blush and felt herself panic and losing control, she opened her mouth and what came out of it left everyone in the room stunned for a few moments.

“Ah, yes! _You’re_ the prick who said I was too much trouble. I remember you well, you arrogant bastard!”

…

Cullen felt as crestfallen as he looked. Leliana was staring at Beatrix and him, her eyes quickly darting from one to the other. Cassandra’s mouth was agape with shock and Josephine, the other person in the room – Cassandra hadn’t had the chance to introduce her as the Ambassador yet – was looking at Beatrix with a little fear in her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Beatrix said contritely as her gaze moved from the dark-haired mystery lady, to Leliana and Cassandra. “That was disrespectful to you ladies. I have a bloody headache and I’m not thinking very clearly at the moment.”

She didn’t even spare a glance at Cullen. It was clear she wasn’t sorry for what she’d said to him. It was also very clear that she believed what she had said. To her, Cullen was just an arrogant prick.

Cullen cleared his throat, and grasped the pommel of his sword a little too tightly. Beatrix went on to gaze at the Ambassador standing beside him, nodding and smiling dazzlingly at her. A sharp intake of breath coming from Cullen was heard throughout the room. He blushed when he noticed the others had heard him. Her beautiful smile had surprised him – and he felt both dazzled and excited by it. He clenched the pommel of his sword even more tightly and ground his teeth, willing his face to adopt a relaxed expression. Instead, he found himself scowling.

He heard a chuckle on his right and discovered Leliana hiding her smile behind a gloved hand.

A _real_ scowl appeared on his face.

She had a question for them all, which had puzzled her from the moment she had awaken in her cabin in the morning. She’d heard some of the villagers call her ‘Herald’ but hadn’t the foggiest idea what they meant by it. She kept it to herself, however, waiting for the right moment to ask. Right now she was listening to Cassandra and Leliana discussing their situation with the Chantry. 

“The Chantry has declared that they want nothing to do with us or the Inquisition,” Leliana said. “They are claiming you are a heretic and murderer.”

“Word travels fast, doesn’t it?” Beatrix commented dryly.

“This is Chancellor Roderick’s doing,” Cassandra commented, shaking her head.

“Wonderful,” Beatrix muttered sarcastically, but loud enough to be heard by them all.

“The problem is that people are calling you the Herald of Andraste,” Josephine said. “Therefore, we’re heretics for supporting you.”

“Just how am I the ‘Herald of Andraste’? I’ve been meaning to ask you that since I heard it this morning. The villagers were standing in two lines outside my cabin, leaving me a path in the center to get to the Chantry. I thought I was going crazy and seeing things!”

Cassandra smiled, while Leliana and Josephine chuckled. Cullen grinned, but she didn’t even look at him.

Cullen wanted to speak anyway. He wouldn’t give her the satisfaction in knowing that her attitude was bothering him. He was going to work with her whether she liked it or not, so…

“That’s quite the title, isn’t it?” he commented with a smile. “How do you feel about it?”

A few moments of silence as Cullen shifted uncomfortably – then her reply.

“Let’s see…how do you think I should feel, oh Mighty Commander?” Beatrix nearly hissed at him, her eyes narrowing dangerously as she spoke. “I’ve almost been killed by fade rifts and demons three days ago, woken up in a cabin that doesn’t even have a chamber pot, opened the door to find people lining up like I’m some kind of god, and I have a mark that is really painful, but is the only thing that helped me avoid a trial and a certain execution. I feel. Just. Peachy. Oh, and on top of that, people are calling me the Herald of Andraste. How would you feel? Peachy as well?”

She gave him a sardonic smile that didn’t reach her eyes. Cullen felt himself blush and frowned. “I’m sorry for what I said to you on the top of the mountain. I truly am. But we’re going to be working together and – “

“We should get along, you mean?” Beatrix said sweetly. “There is nothing I would _dislike_ more, oh Mighty Commander.”

The red on Cullen’s face got deeper, and his eyes flashed angrily. But before things got really bad, Leliana interrupted.

“People saw you when you stepped out of that rift, when you first appeared. They say a woman was behind you. They think it was Andraste.”

“Ah, I see,” Beatrix said. A wave of nausea overtook her and she hoped this stupid meeting wouldn’t last too long. Her headache was also becoming unbearable.

“There _is_ something you can do!” Leliana said pointing at the map to draw her attention to it. “There is a Revered Mother in the Hinterlands, tending to the wounded from the mage-templar war. She’s asked to talk to you about the situation in the Chantry. It seems she wants to help us.”

“I’ll go there first thing tomorrow morning with you Cassandra,” she said. “Do you think Varric and Solas would mind if they accompanied us?”

“I don’t think so, but I’ll let them know just in case,” Cassandra replied.

Another wave of nausea hit Beatrix and this time she swayed a little. Cullen made a move towards her, as if to hold her steady, but she backed away. She was sweating and felt really cold.

“We’ll also have this map engraved on the table,” Josephine added. “It will be easier to refer to places indefinitely without having to draw it over and over again.”

“That’s a good idea, Lady Ambassador,” Cullen said quietly.

“If that’s all? I _really_ would like to go to the apothecary. Not feeling well,” Beatrix mumbled.

“Yes, of course,” Cassandra said. “Would you like me to accompany you?”

“No, that won’t be necessary, thanks,” Beatrix replied with a weak smile. She said goodbye and turned around, fighting against the nausea yet again, when she felt a hand on her elbow.

“I really am sorry, you know,” Cullen said softly as Cassandra and Josephine made their way to the door.

“Not now, Commander!” Beatrix said between clenched teeth.

“But – “

Cullen couldn’t finish saying what he was going to say. At that precise moment, Beatrix lurched forward and vomited all over his chestplate, right down to his boots. He looked down at himself in dismay, and back up at her. She was as pale as a ghost and a gasp escaped her lips as she turned and ran out of the room, leaving the three advisors and Cassandra behind.

…


	3. Chapter Three

The Hinterlands provided a respite for Beatrix from all the snow and ice…and from a certain Commander who undoubtedly must have been cursing as he cleaned his armor and boots. She felt mortified about the whole thing, though she _had_ warned him. Damned Commander was as stubborn as she, or even more. She was glad she hadn’t seen him before they left.

She had, however, left precise instructions for Josephine to write a missive to her parents informing them that she was alive and well. There would be more time to write them personally when she cleared everything up here and got the horses for the Inquisition. She didn’t think their stay in the Hinterlands would be long.

She was wrong.

_Everything_ needed fixing. For starters, immediately after they arrived they had to save Inquisition soldiers from mages and templars who were fighting very close to their forward camp. Once that was dealt with, Beatrix saw a rift in the distance and had trotted over to close it, her team right behind her.

Of course, that wasn’t the only rift in the area. By the time she reached the Crossroads proper, she was physically exhausted, only to find that they had arrived in the middle of a battle – mages and templars alike attacking the refugees and villagers.

The world had gone mad.

Once that was dealt with, they met up with Corporal Vale who urged them to help out. Beatrix couldn’t say no. People were literally starving and cold during the nights as they huddled near small campfires. So she had to get them meat from rams they killed in the hills and look for supply caches left abandoned by the rebel mages, which contained blankets and warm cloaks among other necessary things. This meant running into two more rifts along the way, as well as bandits and _more_ mages and templars.

She spoke to Mother Giselle, and found her to be quite agreeable, more than Roderick at any rate. The kind mother urged her to go to Val Royeaux to talk to the Chantry priestesses there. Giselle then told her she would go to Haven to give Leliana a list of names – the ones that were at least willing to talk to the Inquisition. Then she left for Haven.

Beatrix sighed to herself as she got busy with tasks she still had to do. Indeed, it felt like the whole world had been dropped unceremoniously on her shoulders.

She managed to finish all these tasks in a week, but there was still work ahead for her and her team. They still had to find Master Dennet, the horsemaster who had horses that the Inquisition needed. He lived in a rural area outside the Crossroads, so Beatrix set out with her team, Scout Harding and some Inquisition soldiers to set up camp once they arrived.

It was here that matters got complicated. Really complicated.

Dennet didn’t want to send his horses to Haven because it was dangerous out there. He wanted an end to the mage and templar war in the Hinterlands, and he also wanted them to talk to his wife and his farmhand, Bron.

This meant that he wanted things done, aside from stopping the mages and templars.

After speaking to the horsmaster’s wife and Bron, the farmhand, the team walked to their camp totally exhausted and decided to take a break. Beatrix sighed as she eyed the pond right next to the camp. She didn’t want to take her armor off in front of everyone. However, she desperately needed a bath, so she walked on ahead getting closer to what sounded like running water.

The joy she felt at discovering a brook was cut short. Above her head, a rift cackled and popped and suddenly came to life. She let out a scream to alert her team and waited, falling into stealth automatically.

Bloody demons.

…

The crow flew directly to Leliana’s arm, and settled itself there. The spymaster quickly took the parchment tied to its leg, and motioned at it to fly off after giving it a treat. What she read had her chuckling to herself for a few moments. She turned to one of her agents and ordered him to inform the other two advisors to meet her in the Chantry in an hour.

Humming to herself, Leliana looked through the papers on her desk and found two that she needed for the meeting. She took these and the missive in her hand and walked to the Chantry to show the letter to Josephine. She had known the Ambassador for quite some time now – they had been close friends in the past. She wanted to share her letter with her before the meeting, for she knew Josie would simply love it. At the very least, it would make her laugh. Smiling, she knocked on the door before letting herself in.

Josephine smiled when she looked up and found the visitor to be Leliana.

“Anything I can do for you, Leliana?” Her rich Antivan accent filled the room. At that moment, Minaeve, who shared the room with Josephine, let her know that she was heading off to speak to the alchemist. Josephine nodded and Leliana’s smile followed the elven girl until she left the room, closing the door behind her.

“I received a missive today from the Herald,” Leliana replied once they were alone, holding out the parchment to Josephine. “I thought I would share it with you before we go to the meeting room.”

Josephine smiled gratefully as she took the parchment and unrolled it, clearing her throat with a smile.

_Sister ~~Leliana~~ Nightingale, Ambassador Josephine, Mighty Commander,_

_I thought I would be staying here only to talk to Mother Giselle, get the horses from Master Dennet, and seal some rifts. I realized that more things needed to be done as the Crossroads were under attack and I had to help the refugees – some were literally starving to death! That part is fine. I like helping people. So, I thought I would be done in a week at the most, then back to Haven to write to my parents (I trust you sent word to my parents that I am alive, Lady Ambassador?)._

_I was wrong. This place has lashed out at us with a vengeance._

_There are so many rifts, that when one formed above my head while trying to take a bath in a brook, I felt my patience was at an end. Let me tell you that the demons are not the only thing that are annoying. The BEARS! What the fuck is wrong with them? They are getting burned alive thanks to Solas, but they continue to attack!!!!_

_Honestly, I thought bears were smarter._

_As if that wasn’t enough, I keep running into crazy bandits with a death wish. I ask you, if you see that all your companions are getting killed, wouldn’t you surrender or run away? Nooooo. Not according to these idiots. Not only that, the weapons they wielded to attack us looked like something the recruits wield when they’re training in Haven._

_So I’ll be staying much longer because I have to kill some wolves now and REALLY put an end to the mage-templar war. By the way, I need the Mighty Commander’s help. People here need watchtowers built to protect them from the bandits and BEARS. Could he send some soldiers that’ll build the bloody things and some to keep watch?_

_Also, I trust Mother Giselle is in Haven already? Or soon to be there at any rate. (She was ~~smart~~ lucky to leave.) Sister Nightingale, she will give you a list of names of clerics in Val Royeaux who would talk to us amicably about the Breach. I didn’t ask her what she meant by ‘amicably’.  I assume we’ll talk of this upon my return. Judging by the look of things here, that won’t be anytime soon. I forgot to mention I have also uncovered something the Carta is up to, so I have to add that to the list of things to do around here. _

_Speaking of rifts, I’ve closed fifteen so far. That’s for your records. Truth be told if I see another demon, I’ll probably scream and yell at it while I slash it to death. Well, more than I usually do._

_We are all ~~exhausted~~ , ~~annoyed at the work we have to do,~~ fine, but clearly looking forward to getting back to Haven. I’m looking forward to seeing you ladies again – you’ve been far too kind to me – but I must confess that our little village isn’t very ‘peaceful’ while the Mighty Commander is on the loose! Maybe I should stay on one side of the village and he on the other? _

_Beatrix Trevelyan._

_P.S. Lady Ambassador, did you remember the chamber pot?_

“Oh!” Josephine exclaimed as she finished reading the letter out loud. Jumping up she ran to the door. “I forgot about the chamber pot!”

…

Cullen unwillingly clutched the report on Beatrix Trevelyan he had been given in the meeting room. The meeting had just ended and he was now tasked with putting together a team to send off to the Hinterlands to build the ‘bloody watchtowers’, as Trevelyan herself had referred to them. He was tired of the name ‘Mighty Commander’. He was also very much annoyed at her last sentences directed at him.

With a deep sigh, he stuffed the now wrinkled parchment into one of his coat pockets and focused on readying a team for the Hinterlands. If she thought for a moment that she could order him around, she had another thing coming. He knew putting up the watchtowers was a good idea, but the more he thought about the missive she had sent, the more annoyed he felt.

Barking orders at his twelve best recruits, he turned away once he saw they were off to the blacksmith. They would be properly outfitted and given high-quality weapons. Since he had told them they would be leaving first thing in the morning, Cullen strode to his cabin to wash up and catch up on reports that awaited his signature.

He quickly washed and put on a fresh tunic and loose breeches. Taking the report about the Herald out of his pocket, he smoothed it out the best he could and set it on the far left end of his desk. He held off reading the report on Trevelyan, because he didn’t really want to acknowledge that he cared about what was written. However, he soon realized that he was having trouble focusing on the other reports. The one he was looking at now made no sense to him – he had read the first paragraph three times. His eyes kept flitting to the wrinkled report on his left.

With what sounded very much like a snarl, Cullen threw the parchment he had in his right hand on the desk, and snatched up the wrinkled report of Beatrix Trevelyan. He smoothed it out on the hard surface of his desk again before he started to read.

_Beatrix Anna Trevelyan of House Trevelyan in Ostwick._

_House Trevelyan Coat of Arms: Two golden vines on each side, forming two golden horses rearing up on their hind legs on a field of green with a golden shield in the middle and a single silver sword in the middle of the shield._

_House Trevelyan motto: Modest in Temper, Bold in Deed._

_Father: Bann Alexander Aristide Trevelyan._

_Mother: Lady Eleanor Margot Trevelyan from the noble House of Reinhardt in Kirkwall._

_Siblings:_

_Andras Marcus Trevelyan: second child of Bann and Lady Trevelyan, recruit of the Templar Order. He is presumed to have been killed during the Conclave explosion, although the Herald believes he could be alive somewhere. If this is the case, his current whereabouts are unknown._

_Maximillian Bryce Trevelyan: youngest child, eight years old. Next in line to inherit his father’s title and estate since the explosion of the Conclave killed Andras Trevelyan._

_Beatrix Trevelyan is the eldest of the Trevelyan children. She was to be sole heir of the estate, but chose to give it all up in favor of her brother, Andras. She was sent to the University of Orlais for four years to study History of the Chantry and Thedas. She also trained in wielding weapons (daggers, specifically) and learned how to use a bow. Her instructors took her around Orlais and the Free Marches to visit points of interest that had to do with the History of the Chantry, but it was during her travels that she perfected her combat skills, learning how to defend herself properly._

_Aside from breeding horses, the Trevelyans are well known for their vineyards – their wine is said to be the finest in the Free Marches.  The eldest child usually inherits the estate and titles, while the other children are taken away to serve the Chantry as Clerics or Templars._

_The Herald is reluctant to discuss her travels in Orlais and the Free Marches, but my scouts have interviewed people who know her. She is said to be kind to others and willing to help the defenseless and the poor._

Cullen let out a groan of dismay, followed by a deep sigh. He rubbed his forehead furiously, wishing the headache he now had would go away. 

This was brilliant. Fucking brilliant.  

The Herald of Andraste was a noble.

…

“What the _fuck_ are _you_ doing here?” Beatrix demanded angrily.

Cullen scowled at her, his golden brown eyes flashing. “You wanted watchtowers built, didn’t you? I’m here to organize things and make sure they are built fast. I _will_ stay out of your way.”

“I didn’t wan-ask you to come!”

“I’m sure you didn’t,” Cullen replied with a smirk. “Trust me, I _don’t_ want to be here. Now, can I have a map to know where I’m building the bloody things? Surely you have one?”

“Ugh!” Beatrix replied as she whirled around to stomp angrily into her tent.

Varric was following the entire display before him with a wide grin until Cullen’s eyes fell on him. He then coughed nervously and turned towards the pond. Cassandra was just returning from a wash at the brook, so she hadn’t seen or heard anything and was mildly surprised to see Cullen standing in the middle of their camp, at least a dozen soldiers with him – all carrying axes. As for Solas, he was calmly sitting on a log, reading a tome with strange symbols on the cover. He didn’t even look up.

“Commander!” Cassandra called out as she approached. “I had no idea you were coming here.”

“I’m here to ensure the watchtowers are built fast and in an orderly way. We need those horses after all.”

Cassandra nodded, looking around. “Where’s the Herald?”

“She marched into her tent a few moments ago. I presume she’s retrieving a map that will show me where they want the towers built,” Cullen replied with a sigh.

“Ah, I see.”

At that moment, Beatrix opened the flap in her tent and walked out, holding a parchment in her hand which she extended to Cullen. He took the parchment, the smirk on his face appearing once again, along with an overall smugness about him that infuriated Beatrix even more.

Cassandra could see that the Herald was very angry. In fact, the anger was rolling off her in waves. Varric was once again smiling and watching them both with interest, but Solas hadn’t moved.

What happened next stunned them all, even Solas, who at that moment happened to look up.

Standing on the tip of her toes, Beatrix Anna Trevelyan grabbed Cullen’s face and yanked him down towards her. She then kissed him on the lips, hard and furiously, letting go a few moments later. Spinning around she marched away, heading towards the brook. 

Everyone watched her walk away and turned to look at Cullen.

The silence was deafening.

The shock on Cullen’s face disappeared almost instantly, only to be replaced by a deep red blush that reached his ears. He cleared his throat and looked down at the parchment he was holding, trying to get a grip on himself. He succeeded, of course, but not without a struggle. Straightening himself slightly, he turned to face his soldiers. 

They were all smiling at him. 

“What are you all smiling about?” he barked, the smiles before him disappearing. “We have work to do! Follow me!”

…

Beatrix clenched her fists as she sat on a rock overlooking the brook. She was breathing hard, still angry at Cullen and his stupid smirk.

If only he hadn’t been so damn infuriating over the whole thing, she would have ignored him and that would have been even better punishment for even daring to appear with his men.

After a short while, her heart stopped pounding and her breathing calmed. She heard footsteps behind her and turned her head, her hands moving to her daggers automatically. When she saw it was Varric, she relaxed and gave him a small smile as he moved to sit next to her.

They didn’t speak for some time, content to listen to the noise the merry brook made as it raced over the stones and rocks below them. The sun was slowly dipping down – the pinks in the sky heralding a spectacular sunset. Even though the nights were bitterly cold in the Hinterlands, it was still warm enough to sit back and enjoy nature, and so they did.

After a while, Varric broke the silence.

“Never thought I’d be saying this since I don’t get along with nature, but this place is beautiful.” 

Beatrix grinned as she turned to him. “It’s one of the best spots around, I daresay. After taking care of the crazy wolves, that is.”

“That demon got a lot of slashing and a good share of cursing,” Varric chuckled. “It really didn’t stand a chance once you attacked.”

She laughed at the memory, then grew silent once again. She knew Varric wanted to ask about what had happened, so she just let him. She didn’t want it to turn into a big deal, especially now when she found herself remembering Cullen’s soft lips and the way he had started to kiss her back, the faint scent of fresh mint enveloping them both.

“I didn’t exactly come over to ask you this, but I confess I’m curious. Why did you kiss Curly?”

She sighed and turned to him. “I would have expected _you_ to understand exactly why I did it, Varric.”

“I _do_ know. You did it to stop him from smirking at you.”

“Then, what’s your real question?” Beatrix sighed with a smile.

“I only want to know if you liked it,” Varric smiled back widely.

Beatrix rolled her eyes and groaned, a soft blush tinting her cheeks.

“By the Maker! Really, Varric?”

He laughed, then shook his head.

“It’s okay. It’s not like you’ll tell me anyway, right? Which brings me to why I came here. Not to interrogate you, to be honest.”

The snort that came out of Beatrix’s lips was followed by a peal of laughter that was contagious. Varric couldn’t help but laugh along with her.

“Really? Why _did_ you come here, then?” Beatrix chortled.

“To let you know dinner is almost ready, and the Seeker is doing all the cooking. I suggest you make a few more elfroot potions. Just to be safe, you know.”

…

Cullen drove his men to near exhaustion while they were in the Hinterlands. He avoided meeting Trevelyan ever since the kiss, but was slightly annoyed to discover she was avoiding him as well. That kiss kept him awake at nights, even though he knew very well why she had kissed him. It certainly had achieved its purpose because his smirk had disappeared completely. It also stressed the fact that she knew she had won the argument in a way. What ‘the argument’ was escaped him though.

Truth be told, he hadn’t the foggiest idea.

What he _did_ know was that it had fueled his unwilling desire for her, in spite of her being so disagreeable. He also suspected she was a little crazy. That thought didn’t help him much either, because his imagination conjured up images of her kissing him wildly and then straddling him, tearing off his clothes with her bare hands.

All these thoughts made the nights unbearable and during the days he would yell at his soldiers to work, but this failed to chase the images away completely. Cullen ended up chopping wood himself and building the towers with his men. This helped a lot and also sped the work up considerably, considering he barely stopped – not even to drink water.

His soldiers had a sneaking suspicion that he was not even human by the time the blasted towers were done.

The day they were finished and marched towards the forward camp was a day Cullen actually dreaded, since he had to face her. To his relief, he discovered she had set off with her team to explore the area even more. Something about Solas sensing elven artifacts.

He wrote a message informing her that the towers were built and got ready to leave, washing up in the brook first and drinking a lot of water next. He allowed himself to have some breakfast with his men afterwards.

Feeling a lot better and without a backward glance, he and his men walked onwards to leave the Hinterlands and head back to Haven.

Fate, however, had other ideas, and he met the Herald and her team before they even had a chance to reach the road.

…

She was beautiful. There was no way around it. Her raven hair, sapphire-blue eyes and pink lips paralyzed him and he didn’t – _couldn’t_ – utter a word.  Unlike him, Beatrix had a lot to say.

“Just where the _fuck_ do you think _you’re_ going?”

Cullen’s right hand flew to the back of his neck where he rubbed. There was a lot of tension there.

“I – um,” was all he could offer.

Beatrix eyes widened slightly and she blushed. His golden eyes spoke of adoration. Pure and simple. She shook her head and willed herself to calm down.

“Have you finished the towers already?”

Still deprived of speech, Cullen nodded his head, looking away. Anywhere was fine, as long as he didn’t look at her.

She nodded and pursed her lips. “I see. Thank you.”

Without another word, she brushed past him, Cassandra following close behind with a nod at the Commander. Solas nodded as well, but Varric had a huge grin on his face, his eyes sparkling mischievously. Cullen groaned inwardly. Without a doubt, he _knew_ the dwarf knew what he was feeling. He would just have to prove him wrong – if only to stop him from all the teasing. 

He shook his head and gave a signal to his men to move out. As soon as they reached Haven, he would have a nice, cold bath.  _Freezing_ cold if possible.

_That_ would take care of things. For the time being.

…

As it turned out, both Cullen and Beatrix avoided seeing each other really well in Haven. She would go into stealth if she needed to visit Harritt, the blacksmith, which was close to where Cullen stood most of the day, training his recruits.

The first time she appeared suddenly right next to Harritt, it scared the poor man out of his wits. She contritely promised she wouldn’t appear like that in front of him again, and kept her promise, appearing instead outside the forge. Far enough from Cullen to see her, at least.

Or that’s what she thought.

At the moment, they were all standing in the ‘war room’, which meant that Cullen was in the room with her. This had been very awkward for Beatrix, but fortunately, they were sticking to business and both were behaving in a very professional manner.

Varric sighed to himself, wishing he was somewhere else. They were all discussing about what to do about the Breach. Solas had been the last one to speak. He told them that closing the Breach would require a vast amount of magical energy, possibly the same amount of magic that was used to open it.

“Well, correct me if I’m wrong, but wouldn’t that kind of magic be dangerous?” Beatrix asked.

“It would be dangerous; magic is always dangerous,” Cullen said slowly, looking down at the map.

“If you don’t know how to handle it,” Solas commented quietly.

“True,” Cullen conceded, straightening himself as he looked at Solas. “Even so, I think we should approach the templars for help. They could suppress the magic, and this would help the Lady Herald immensely in order to close it.”

“Pure speculation,” Leliana disagreed. “The mages can give the Herald the magic she needs to work with.”

“I was a templar,” Cullen pointed out as patiently as he could. “I know what they can do.”

“We need enough power to close the Breach, Commander,” Cassandra said. “Power that only magic can supply.”

“Indeed,” Solas agreed. “The will of the mages alone would help her.”

Varric sighed. “Mages and templars. Mages and templars…”

“Same old, same old, eh, Varric?” Beatrix dimpled at him. He grinned back at her with a wink.

“But the templars _could_ make it safer,” Cullen insisted, ignoring Varric and the Herald’s comments.

“I have to agree with the Commander on this one,” Beatrix said quietly after a few minutes, not daring to look at Cullen, who turned his head so fast to look at her, there was an audible snap. “Even so, we’ll have to go to Val Royeaux to speak to the mothers there.”

“I’ll let them know you’ll be there,” Leliana promised.

“Is there anything else?” Beatrix asked. Everyone remained silent. “Great, so I can finally eat something!”

“Make sure you don’t drink this time,” Varric chuckled.

Beatrix rolled her eyes at him as she led everyone out of the room. She didn’t even steal a quick glance at the Commander. Every time she thought of the kiss, she would blush herself silly and she wasn’t ready to make believe she didn’t like it.

Shrugging to herself, she made her way to the tavern.

A nice plate of lamb chops and mashed potatoes would probably help her overcome her awkwardness. At any rate, it would probably help her to think better afterwards. 

…


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you are enjoying this fic. I’m having a lot of fun writing it! This is the first time I post something on Ao3! Basically, I want to write more original dialogue and less in-game dialogue. I also want to change the things I didn’t particularly like that happened in the game, and add to scenes I thought were dull or uninspiring. I apologize if the beginning of this chapter seems a bit lackluster, but I must fill in the gaps to continue the story, as this is part of the main quest.  
> I want to thank my dear friend, Lady Darksbane, for doing all the editing and her words of encouragement and support! YOU ROCK, darling! :D  
> Thanks for reading! And please feel free to comment! Feedback is always welcome! :D

Val Royeaux was as spectacular as always. Beatrix wished she were somewhere else, truth be told. She had a crick in her neck from sleeping in a bad position the night before and wanted a bath. So when they arrived to speak to the mothers, she held her head up high – because of the pain – and only looked straight ahead.

She looked haughtier than usual.

They were looked upon with disdain or fear from the moment they arrived, and one of Leliana’s spies gave them the heads up that the mothers were waiting for them – along with a large group of templars. Beatrix had to turn around completely – carefully avoiding further damage to her neck – to face Cassandra.

“Does this sound like ‘amicable’ to you?”

Cassandra pursed her lips and shook her head silently. Then she instructed Leliana’s scout to leave and inform the others back in Haven what was happening. Just in case they didn’t return.

“Full of optimism this morning, aren’t we?” Beatrix chuckled. Cassandra did not reply, only led the team straight to a raised wooden dais in the center of the market square.

One of the mothers instantly started speaking, her clear voice easily carrying over to the other end. She accused Beatrix of killing the Divine and Beatrix countered her argument, pleading for them to join in order to help destroy the Breach.

At that moment, the templars showed up, and one of them promptly hit the cleric on the head. She fell to the ground with a scream and Beatrix snarled at the templar who hit her. The Lord Seeker was among the templars and Cassandra called out to him. She tried speaking to him, but he refused to speak to her, and denounced the Inquisition, then led the group of templars away. 

Beatrix was angrier than she had been in her entire life. Her family supported the order after all and even her brother was a templar!

“What the fuck was all that about? ‘Amicable’ my ass!” She practically yelled. Clenching her fists, she turned away from the dais and the mother lying on it.

“Has the Lord Seeker gone mad?” Cassandra wondered out loud.

“How well do you know him?” Beatrix asked curiously. 

“He was made Lord Seeker two years ago when the circles rebelled and the previous Lord Seeker was killed. I thought he was a good man!”

“I suppose we’ll have to ask the rebel mages for help to close the Breach, then, and not the templars?” Solas asked.

“We’ll see,” Beatrix said, rubbing her neck. “This whole trip was such a waste of  t– “

At that moment, an arrow landed right in front of Beatrix, who stopped in her tracks. There was a piece of parchment with the arrow, and Cassandra took it and read it out loud to Beatrix. It contained badly written instructions – and curious drawings – on how to find someone who meant the Inquisition harm.

At the same time, a mage walked up to Beatrix and handed her an invitation for a soiree from Madame Vivienne, First Enchanter of the Circle.

Beatrix’s smile lit up her face.

“About time things got interesting!”

…

By the time they made their way to the gates of Val Royeaux, it was late; the dark night throwing everything into shadow. With them they now had two more who had joined the Inquisition: Sera, a hilarious elf with a potty-mouth, which made everything funnier – according to Beatrix – and Madame Vivienne, also known as Madame De Fer, who had connections with the Orlesian nobles. She also was an incredibly talented mage.

At the gates proper they were stopped by a figure in the shadows, who stepped into the light of a lantern which was shining brightly high above their heads.

“Grand Enchanter Fiona!” Beatrix exclaimed, looking confused. “What are _you_ doing here?”

“You’re the leader of the mage rebellion,” Solas commented, a puzzled look on his face. “Weren’t you offered refuge in Redcliffe?”

“You shouldn’t be here,” Seeker Cassandra said, her eyes narrowing slightly.

“And my name is Varric! Pleased to meet you!” Varric grinned.

Sera broke into a nervous laugh and Vivienne said nothing, but visibly started, then straightened herself, looking dignified and angry at the same time.

“ _You_ are the Herald of Andraste?” Fiona asked Beatrix. “Last time we spoke, we met at the Grand Cathedral, no? Was that three years ago?”

“It was before all the business with the circles at the White Spire, certainly. I was travelling around Orlais at the time,” Beatrix nodded with a smile. “What brings you here?”

“I saw what happened with the templars earlier and heard you needed help to close the Breach,” Fiona said softly, her green eyes on Beatrix.

“We do,” Beatrix replied. “Does this mean the rebel mages would help us?”

“We’re willing to speak to the Inquisition, at least,” Fiona responded. “Unlike the templars who turned away and left.”

Vivienne snorted. Everyone turned to look at her, but she ignored them, fixing her ice-blue eyes on Fiona.

“Really, my dear?” she said in a sing-song voice, dripping with sarcasm. “If only you had chosen to speak instead of asking everyone to vote for freedom during the last meeting at the Spire, and the previous meeting in Cumberland as well.”

“First Enchanter Vivienne,” Fiona said, her eyes narrowing. “I won’t turn this into a discussion now. It benefits no one.”

“Once again, may I point out that these are words you did _not_ use in the past, my dear?”

“Enough!” Beatrix cut in. She was tired, needed a bath and her neck was hurting really badly. “Have any of you ever fought with a crick in your neck? No? Well, I did! And I don’t like pain! So this discussion between you two is over!”

Vivienne said nothing to this, but folded her arms and did not take her eyes off Fiona. Fiona, on the other hand, turned back to look at Beatrix.

“Come to Redcliffe, my Lady Herald,” she said graciously. “The Breach is the only thing that matters now.”

She left them standing there, walking away quietly.

“Let’s start the journey back to Haven,” Cassandra said. “We need to tell them what happened.”

“Oh, joy! A bedroll and a quick, freezing dip in a pond or brook await!” Beatrix exclaimed, earning smiles and chuckles from her companions.

“I can heat the water if you wish,” Solas said, a small smile on his face.

“Why didn’t you tell me this when we were travelling over here?” Beatrix demanded with a pout.

“Because you didn’t mention it?”

“There’s a wise answer, Chuckles,” Varric commented with a grin.

“Chuckles?” Cassandra asked Varric.

“If you have to ask, Seeker, then you wouldn’t get it even if I told you.”

…

It was snowing hard in Haven when they arrived. The recruits were not training at their usual place and everyone seemed to be indoors. Cassandra and Beatrix stepped into the Chantry out of the cold. They didn’t expect to be met by Leliana and Cullen, but they were there.

“It’s a shame about the templars,” Cullen said immediately, his eyes on Beatrix.

“Indeed,” Leliana replied. “I have reports from my scouts letting me know they were marching to the north of Ferelden.”

“There is a Seeker stronghold in that direction,” Cassandra said quietly. “Therinfal Redoubt. I’m surprised you both know what happened in Val Royeaux already.”

Leliana smiled. “My scouts supplied me with the complete story.”

The four of them entered the meeting room, immediately circling around the table with the map. Cullen was the first to speak.

“I’m sure not all the templars agree with the Lord Seeker. We must go to Therinfal and try to reason with them.”

“The Lord Seeker made it clear that he did not want to speak to the Inquisition. We are going to need help with this. Perhaps if we contacted some of the nobles in Southern Thedas, and traveled with them to the Fortress? Maybe their presence would convince the Lord Seeker and the templars into helping us with the Breach?” Josephine said hopefully, her quill poised over the clipboard she always carried around to take notes.

“How long would it take to convince these nobles?” Beatrix asked.

“Well, there are missives to send, parties to attend – it won’t be very soon, I’m afraid,” Josephine replied scribbling something down.

“Then we’ll go to Redcliffe in the meantime, to talk to Fiona at least,” Beatrix said thoughtfully. “First thing tomorrow morning.”

“That’s a good idea,” Cassandra said. “I’ll alert Varric and Solas.”

“I’ll head over to the bathing room. A nice, hot bath is in order,” Beatrix smiled, her eyes meeting Cullen’s with no anger for the first time since all the madness started.

Cullen’s eyes shone brightly and warmly as he smiled back – a lopsided smile that nearly took her breath away. Beatrix felt something fluttering in her stomach. Turning abruptly, she quickly left the room, certain that everyone could hear her heart pounding – and completely missing Leliana’s giggle.

This was not good.

She was falling for him hard and try as she might, she had a sneaking suspicion that it was too late to stop.

…

Before they could even leave for Redcliffe the following morning, Beatrix ran into a soldier that was standing outside the Chantry. He said his name was Cremisius Aclassi, member of a mercenary company called ‘The Bull’s Chargers’. They wanted to join the Inquisition and he had been sent to speak to anyone who’d care to listen. He also mentioned that they were on the Storm Coast, which came in handy because the Inquisition had dispatched soldiers to the Storm Coast a while back and they had not returned.

“What is your name, soldier and who is your leader or chief? Why didn’t he come instead?”

“Cremisius Aclassi,” he replied quickly. “Our leader is The Iron Bull. He didn’t want to cause a stir. He’s a Qunari. You know, one of the horned giants…? You should come to the Storm Coast to speak to him.”

“Ah, I see,” Beatrix smiled. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

The soldier smiled and bowed, taking his leave and Beatrix headed towards Harritt, the blacksmith, where she knew Cassandra, Solas and Varric would be waiting.

On her way outside, she sneaked a peek at Cullen, who was looking directly at her. Feeling a blush start up her cheeks, she turned her head and focused on reaching her team without falling flat on her face, or slipping on the snow, or any other awkward situation that would make her look bad.

“Change of plans!” she called out cheerfully to them as they turned to face her. “We’re going to the Storm Coast _before_ we speak to the mages in Redcliffe.”

“To find out what became of the missing soldiers?” Cassandra asked curiously.

“That too!” Beatrix grinned. “We have to meet with someone first. Then we find the missing soldiers and rescue them, and after all that, we head to Redcliffe to speak to Fiona.”

“It’ll be a busy month at the very least, then,” Varric added with a sigh.

“Let’s saddle up and get on with it,” Cassandra commented. “It is fortunate we have good horses to make the journey faster.”

…

The Storm Coast was wet, the rain coming down hard at times. Also, there were no villages or houses around; it was all wilderness. Scout Lace Harding, who had already arrived to assess the area, met them on the road and took them to their forward camp. She let Beatrix know that the missing soldiers hadn’t been found yet. She also said that there were a group of people who lived here and attacked them on sight. She assumed they could be bandits, plundering the shipwrecks to keep alive.

Beatrix thanked Harding for the information and set off to the sandy coast first of all, stopping from time to time to gather some useful elfroot. As she approached the beach, she heard fighting and noticed Cremisius a short distance away, fighting for his life. She also spotted a very tall and muscled greyish horned figure who was fighting near Cremisius.

Without a prior warning to her companions, she slipped into stealth, appearing only moments after to attack the closest enemy that was fighting Cremisius. Her team then ran up to assist, joining the fray.

They dealt with the archers first, then focused on the two mages. Varric’s crossbow outshone itself in this battle. It alone killed seven men, and wounded a few more. The whole fight was very short and both the Qunari – whom Beatrix suspected to be the Iron Bull – and his group, seemed to be mostly unharmed when it was over.

Beatrix walked over to the Iron Bull, noticing a patch covering his left eye. His horns were huge, but that didn’t surprise her. What surprised her were his muscles. Then again, she had never seen a Qunari up close before, so she had a good reason to be surprised. He was shouting orders to his company, and smiled at her as she approached.

“Iron Bull, I presume?”

“Did the horns give me away?” he replied with a laugh. “Come on, let’s sit on that rock and have a chat.”

The rock was wet, and probably very cold. Beatrix decided to stand instead.

Cremisius approached them first to report to the Qunari what the Chargers had looted off their attackers, as well as details on their present condition.  

“I suppose you met Krem, my Lieutenant?” the Iron Bull rumbled.

“Nice to see you again,” Krem saluted. 

Beatrix barely had time to say hello to Krem, who promptly turned and left them alone. She found herself staring into the grey eyes of the Iron Bull. Well, one eye, to be honest.

“So, you’re with the Inquisition, huh? We want to join you. You’re the one they call the ‘Herald of Andraste, right?”

“That’s right,” Beatrix frowned. “but not because I fucking want them to.”

Bull threw back his head and laughed – a throaty laugh that boomed throughout the area. After a few moments he stopped laughing and continued talking. And Beatrix listened.

“Look, you’ve seen us fight. We’re good – and very expensive.”

“Oh, really? Just how much will this cost me?” Her frown deepened

“Wouldn’t cost you anything, unless you want to buy us drinks,” Bull chuckled. “I’ll set everything up with your Ambassador – her name is Josephine, right?”

“Why do you want to join us so badly?” Beatrix asked curiously.

“You know it’s a mess out there. We just want the world like it was before. People who aren’t supposed to be dying are dying. And you wouldn’t be getting just my boys. You’ll get me. I can be your bodyguard. Demons? Giants? Dragons? I’ll fight anything. The bigger the better.”

“I think the Inquisition would benefit immensely with a mercenary group like the Chargers in their ranks,” Beatrix grinned.

“There’s something else. Maybe you’ll be pissed off when you hear it, but it’s better you hear it from me first. What do you know about the Ben-Hassrath?” Bull had gotten up and was looking down into her eyes, his expression serious.

“They’re Qunari spies, right?” she asked.

“I’m one of them. I’m going to write reports and send them off, and in return I’d be getting information for the Inquisition when they write back.”

Beatrix’s eyes narrowed slightly. “And just _what_ information would you write in your reports, hmm?”

“Everything connected to the Breach and the people who are possibly behind it all: the Vints.” He practically spat out the word and his expression darkened for a moment.

“What are Vints?” Beatrix shot back at him.

“Bad people from Tevinter who need to be silenced permanently. The people we were fighting when you arrived? They were Vints,” the Bull replied. After a pause he said, “Look, I won’t be sending off any information that could compromise the Inquisition. I’ll just write them stuff to ease their minds – keep them off your back.”

Beatrix fell silent. He had just told her he was a Qunari spy. Did she mind? Nope. He was a killing machine, and they needed all the help they could get. Besides, he’d been honest with her. She could tell when someone was lying, and the Bull most certainly wasn’t. Not at the moment anyway.

“All right,” Beatrix extended her hand. “You’re in.”

Bull shook her hand and grinned, his eye sparkling with delight. Turning to Krem and his team, he told them they were hired and they would be heading to Haven.

“ _You’re_ not heading to Haven,” Beatrix smiled up at him. “I need a bodyguard remember?”

“Sure, Boss,” the Bull grinned back at her. “Whatever you need.”

…

They soon discovered the soldiers had been killed by a group that called itself the Blades of Hessarian. Cassandra was angry when Beatrix mentioned the name and explained that anything even remotely dedicated to Andraste would not kill a group that came to explore the area.

“Boss,” the Iron Bull said. “It seems they have a camp further in. Also, you can face their leader in a duel, but it says you have to make a necklace and wear it to challenge him.”

“What kind of necklace exactly?” Beatrix asked, opening a locked chest in the corner of the room.

“Says you have to make it out of serpentstone and deepstalker hide.”

“And look what I just found in this chest,” Beatrix chuckled. “Deepstalker hide! We’ll go back to the forward camp. There’s a person there at the requisition table who could make the necklace for us. Let’s go find the serpentstone first,” Beatrix smiled.

Sure enough they found the serpentstone easily, and had the simple necklace made almost immediately back at the forward camp. After that, it was all a matter of getting to the Hessarian’s camp and challenging their leader. Once that was done, there was a battle against the leader and his two mabaris, but Solas and Varric made short work of the dogs, while the Bull, Cassandra and Beatrix downed the leader.

The remaining group was leaderless and immediately bowed to Beatrix fervently. She was the Herald of Andraste, and, according to them, they would honor and serve her. An embarrassed Beatrix left their camp with her team a few hours later, after sharing a meal they prepared in her honor.

“I wish the people didn’t think of me as a holy symbol. It’s quite embarrassing,” Beatrix complained with a scowl.

“Well, lucky for you Redcliffe is next and that’s a whole village,” Varric chuckled.

 “Ugh,” was all Beatrix had to say.

“Are you taking lessons from the Seeker? Or just out of words, Buttercup?”

“Shut up, dwarf,” Cassandra promptly addressed him, her voice strained.

Varric shut up. He knew the tone she was using and wished to keep all his limbs.

…

They spent a few more weeks at the Storm Coast, due to sudden attacks by darkspawn, of all things. They fought and washed up after every fight, as they knew they were in danger of succumbing to the Blight.

Once everything had been dealt with and a few more camps had been set up around the area, they left for Redcliffe. It took them two more weeks to get to the Hinterlands, and truth be told, the entire team was tired from the journey. They rested at the Crossroads, and set out again the following morning.

Before the team had a chance to even reach the Redcliffe gates, they stumbled across a rift right in front of them. Battling demons popping from the rift was something that normally did not faze them, but in this case they discovered that in certain areas, time would either slow down or speed up – which was downright scary.

Once the rift had been closed, Beatrix turned to her team, her mouth open in surprise as she faced them. Bull, Varric and Cassandra were staring back at her. Bull clearly didn’t like demons. He had broken into a sweat, and his eye looked around fearfully, as if he was expecting a demon to pop up at any time. Solas was completely calm, but had a puzzled expression on his face.

“What the fuck was _that_?” Beatrix asked no one in particular.

“It seems that time was altered in certain places,” Solas offered, clearly still puzzled. “I didn’t think that could be possible…”

“Now that’s useful,” Varric muttered under his breath, but still loud enough for everyone else to hear him.

“We’ll just have to ask Grand Enchanter Fiona about it,” Cassandra said , her voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’m _sure_ _she_ knows, but conveniently forgot to inform us in Val Royeaux.”

“Leave the sarcasm to me, Seeker. You’re killing it,” Varric commented with a grin, taking a step back when she fixed an angry glare at him.

“Great. Just great. Not only do we have to fight demons, but we have to be careful not to walk into places where time is slower,” the Bull sighed. Then he brightened. “I _did_ like it when time sped up. Do you guys think that we’ll get any more of those?”

Nobody had a reply to this, and at that moment a scout ran up to them from the village.

“Your Worship,” the scout called out, bowing his head and falling on one knee in front of Beatrix, who rolled her eyes to the heavens.

“Please, stand,” she said quickly through clenched teeth, trying to keep her short temper under control.

The scout promptly stood to speak. “You should know that we passed word around the Inquisition was coming. Nobody was expecting you to arrive.”

“What?!” Cassandra interjected, standing right next to Beatrix.

“Not even Grand Enchanter Fiona?” Beatrix asked incredulously.

“No, Your Worship, especially not her,” the Scout confirmed as the group stood there quietly, trying to make sense of the whole thing. “She is waiting for you at the tavern though.”

“Well,” Cassandra said, interrupting the silence. “Only one thing to do then.” And the Seeker walked off, past the village gates and towards the tavern, Beatrix and the rest following closely behind.

…


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I love Cullen’s romance from start to finish in the game, I also realize it doesn’t move very naturally. One minute they are flirting in Haven (only twice!) and when they reach Skyhold it’s “I need to talk to you alone.” I mean, where is the wooing, where are the tender scenes, their conversations? They hardly talk! Soooo, I’m trying to put in a little bit more – more talks, more of the ‘getting to know you’, more fluff!   
> Also, I had issues about having to choose between the templars and the mages. So, I’m writing about a different approach: what I think would be a bit more realistic, maybe? At any rate, read on to find out! :D   
> Please feel free to leave feedback, and thanks so much for all your lovely comments and kudos! :D

_Dear Sister Nightingale, Lady Ambassador, Commander Cullen,_

_This is the only report we’ll be sending you from Redcliffe as we’ll be heading towards Haven as soon as we deal with some other issues pertaining the refugees at the Crossroads._

_The situation is dire – even more than I expected. The previous Grand Enchanter, Fiona, has allied with Tevinter. She has indentured herself and her charges to a group known as the Venatori. Their leader, Magister Gereon Alexius, is an active member of the group. I have the feeling and sneaking suspicion that they may have ties with whomever or whatever created the Breach in the first place._

_I spoke to Alexius himself in the tavern where we were initially meeting with Fiona. Fiona, by the way, mentioned that she hadn’t seen us or spoken to me in Val Royeaux. That struck me as odd and that’s when the alarm bells started ringing for me._

_They haven’t stopped ringing._

_Alexius arrived at the tavern later, with his son Felix. We sat at a table to speak about the mages helping us to close the Breach, but when he sent his son Felix to get a scribe, the young man nearly fainted in my arms. Alexius then became deeply concerned for his son, and took him back to the castle, asking Fiona to come with them. He told me before he left that he would contact us at Haven – that we would certainly speak at a later date._

_When his son Felix stumbled and nearly fainted, I stood up to help as I mentioned previously. He passed a note to me which I read when they’d left the tavern. The note said I was in danger and to meet whoever had sent it in the Chantry. All of us were concerned about it being a trap, but after we discussed it, we agreed we would be careful about the whole thing and agreed we should head into the Chantry._

_At the Chantry, there was a rift (yes, a rift within the Chantry itself), and someone was fighting the demons: a tanned man with a ridiculous mustache and clearly a mage since he was wielding a staff. We helped him fight the demons and I closed the rift._

_The mage who had been fighting the demons was from Tevinter himself and said his name was Dorian Pavus from Minrathous. He denied being a magister, however, and stressed that he was simply a mage. He was the one who had sent the note. We were highly suspicious at first, especially when we learned that Felix, who had arrived in the meantime, was working against his father. But they explained that Alexius was no longer himself and was using time magic. Then Felix told us that they (the group known as the ‘Venatori’ and Alexius) wanted me, or to get to me. I was a bit puzzled at this as you can imagine. All of us discussed this and we arrived to the conclusion that it must be because of my mark, as I can close the rifts._

_They both left, but Dorian has promised to keep in touch, for he was anxious to stop Alexius by any means necessary._

_If you find the time magic difficult to believe, I must stress that we ourselves have experienced it twice now, once outside the gates of Redcliffe, and once inside the Chantry while we were fighting the demons. There are precise areas or ‘pockets’ if you will, that basically slow things down or speed things up considerably. Creepy and worrying if you ask me._

_I’m writing you from the ~~tavern~~ inn where we initially met with Fiona and Alexius. We’ll be staying here until tomorrow, and then leave for the Crossroads with a healer we found here. The refugees need one desperately. Once we finish with everything, we’ll head off to Haven. _

_The one good thing about being in an inn is that they are filling the copper tub in my room with hot water as I write. A nice, hot bath finally!_

_Hoping you are all well,_

_Beatrix Anna Trevelyan_

Leliana folded the missive with an audible sigh, a frown on her face. The room was silent for a few minutes and presently Cullen spoke, trying to get the image of Beatrix taking a hot bath out of his mind.

“This is dire indeed. Getting the templars is imperative at the moment if we want to save the mages.”

Leliana and Josephine merely looked at Cullen quietly. His eyes widened slightly as he understood what they were thinking. “You don’t mean to say we should _abandon_ the templars and get the mages, do you?”

“A Tevinter mage, who is practicing time magic, has overtaken Redcliffe and is living at the castle,” Leliana said quietly. “My scouts reported that Arl Teagan was spotted leaving with his soldiers and heading directly to Denerim. I had wondered why. Now we all know.”

Cullen’s frown deepened, but he said nothing.

“We’ll wait for the Herald and Cassandra to arrive and discuss this properly,” Josephine said after a few moments. “No use dealing with it now.”

They all agreed to this and headed out of the room to continue various other tasks that needed their attention.

…

All of them – companions and advisors alike – huddled in the room around the war table, as Beatrix now called it. They clearly were waiting for her to begin the meeting. She cleared her throat.

“We must help the mages,” she finally said. “We cannot let this Magister from Tevinter rule over Redcliffe as he is doing so now.”

“I still think we should get the templars,” Cullen said clearly, his eyes holding her gaze. “If we are to help the mages, we’ll need templars to watch them.”

“I agree with the Commander,” Vivienne spoke. “The mere presence of the Breach is enough to be wary of all mages, myself included. We are in greater risk of becoming abominations, with all the demons that are coming out of rifts and the Breach nearby.”

“Yeah, demons ruin everything,” Bull commented behind her.

Beatrix frowned, keeping silent. Varric, who was standing beside her, sighed and shook his head.

“The Magister must be overthrown. Surely you all agree to this!” Leliana exclaimed. “My scouts informed me that Arl Teagan rode straight to the Palace in Denerim. Do we really want a war between Ferelden and the rebel mages, with the Breach causing chaos all around us?”

Everyone in the room  - except for Beatrix – stared at Leliana. The room was so quiet the leaves of the trees outside could be heard rustling every time the wind picked up.

“I had an aunt who was a mage,” Beatrix said after a while, her voice low, but clear enough to be heard by everyone in the room. “My father’s younger sister. She was the sweetest person in Thedas, always thinking of ways to help others. Her magic manifested late – she was twelve when she was taken to the Circle in Ostwick. My father never stopped loving her. He visited her regularly, first with his parents, later on without them when they died. She was always happy and enjoyed being a part of the Circle. But she did miss my father. I met her. She was singing in one of the gardens inside the Circle fortress, taking care of the roses. I was six years old and she looked so lovely and at peace. She smiled a lot.”

Beatrix paused, still staring at the map before her. “She was killed when the circles rebelled. She put herself between a templar’s sword and a young mage apprentice who was barely ten, saving his life.”

Nobody spoke.

Beatrix looked up from the map her gaze finding Cullen’s sad one. “I don’t dislike mages. If there is an opportunity now to save them, we must. I owe it to my aunt.”

Josephine cleared her throat. “We still don’t have enough support from the nobles to go speak to the templars,” she announced to the room. “We can’t simply go and talk to them about the Breach right now. We need the support from at least five more families.”

“Then we help the mages,” Beatrix said simply. “We’ll wait for Alexius to write us. Once he does, we’ll deal with him.”

“And if the five noble families we are waiting for agree to help the Inquisition before we get the missive from the Magister?” Josephine asked, taking notes.

“Then, we’ll have to form two groups. One will go to the templars and the other to Redcliffe Castle,” Beatrix replied.

…

Beatrix found herself walking through Haven after the meeting. She stopped by the alchemist to get some potions and overheard him complaining about the lack of elfroot and something about a recipe that couldn’t be found, so she offered her help. The alchemist merely said that she didn’t have to help, only put the world back together again.

Beatrix smiled at that. But when she left the place, she set out to look for elfroot specifically and hunt for the late Master Taigen’s notes that Adan needed, even though he had refused her help. If those notes were in Haven, she would find them. 

She didn’t stop at the tavern, but made her way to the gates. Varric waved her on with a grin and she smiled back at him. Reaching the gates, she pushed them open. At once her gaze landed on Cullen, a short distance away, even as she continued to walk slowly.

He had his back to her, teaching one of the recruits to hold his shield properly. She bit her bottom lip as she thought about going to have a friendly chat with him.

Nothing wrong with that, right?

Except that every time she thought about facing him and looking into his golden brown eyes, she felt her knees go weak. She had vomited all over him and called him a prick. Would he ever forgive her for that? Had he already forgiven her?

Also, there was the matter of the kiss. Beatrix felt the heat shoot right up to her face.

Maker!

“You won’t know until you talk to him,” Bull’s voice made her start. She turned and found he had been standing next to her. That was just peachy. Bull knew how she felt. She suppressed a groan and her blush deepened into a nice shade of burgundy.

“What?” the word tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop herself. 

“You heard me, boss,” Bull chuckled. “So, what are you doing standing here? Go talk to him.”

“How did you – “

“Hey! Ben-Hassrath, remember?”

Without sparing another glance at Bull, she took a deep breath, shook her head, and started walking.

…

Cullen finished explaining the use of the shield to the young recruit and gave him an encouraging smile. He called another one of his recruits over who already knew how to use a shield.

“I want you both to practice together. Remember, it’s a weapon you’re holding and you’re doing it for a specific reason,” he added. Both recruits nodded and took their places behind him where the rest were practicing. With a smile, Cullen turned and found himself looking down into a pair of bright sapphire eyes.

“Herald!” He exclaimed, his heart suddenly pounding in his chest. “I – didn’t see you – I mean, um,” Cullen’s words died in his throat. His hand automatically went to the back of his neck and rubbed.

Maker’s breath! He was a grown man of thirty-two who had faced terrible things, and the woman before him robbed him of any intelligent thought and made him feel like a young boy again – flustered and uncomfortable. Not to mention the heat that was rapidly traveling south to his groin.

Beatrix smiled at him, her eyes shining, and Cullen felt his knees go weak. “I thought we could have a chat, Commander, but if you’re busy right now...” She stared at the ground, fidgeting nervously.  

“No!” Cullen shouted interrupting whatever she was going to say next. She looked up at him, totally startled by his outburst. Realizing this, he quickly cleared his throat and spoke.

“I meant…no, I’m – not busy!” He called his Lieutenant over, and instructed him to watch the recruits. Then he turned to Beatrix again and smiled at her with what he hoped was an eager expression.

“Can you…walk with me?” Beatrix asked shyly, an adorable tinge of red on her cheeks.

“Of course,” he replied quickly, looking at her delicate features. Maker help him, she was so beautiful!

They started walking towards the woods, and he noticed she’d stop every now and then to gather some elfroot leaves.

“I’m gathering elfroot for Adan,” she explained. “He didn’t want any help, but as you can see, I disregarded that.”

Cullen smiled to himself, remembering the words Leliana had written in the report about Beatrix’s need to help others. 

Abruptly she stopped and turned to face him. “I really wanted to apologize,” she said in a rush, her blush now covering her entire face.

“Apologize?” Cullen asked, not bothering to hide his confusion. Then he remembered the kiss and thought the worse. Was she here to apologize for it? Maker, no!

But Beatrix made no mention of the kiss in the next words she spoke.

“I have been behaving badly towards you, Commander. I – ah,” her words died down and she looked around uncomfortably.

Cullen stepped closer and gave her an encouraging smile when she looked back up at him.

“I overreacted to your reaction on the mountaintop. I now realize that, that you were, um…nervous that day – we all were,” she said softly.

“There’s no need – “, Cullen began, but she held up her hand and he waited patiently for her to continue talking. Maker, she was just as embarrassed as he was! And shy. And she was blushing so adorably – he willed his brain to stop his train of thought and focus on her words.

“I ignored and teased you horribly and, and,” Beatrix paused, taking a deep breath. “I vomited all over your chestplate!” she finished dramatically.

Cullen burst out laughing, and she just looked up at him in confusion, her eyes slightly widened. He shook his head. “I’m so sorry, but the vomiting _was_ funny,” he managed to say, still chuckling.

Her smile dazzled him when she realized that he wasn’t angry or upset over it.

“Anything else?” he prompted a little more seriously, getting a grip on himself. 

“No, nothing else,” she said with a smile, more at ease.

“Good,” he smiled back.

They stood there for several moments, quietly looking into each other’s eyes. Cullen felt he was in a crazy fade dream, where they were already together. He could practically taste her again, the scent of fresh mint around him as he kissed her, her lips opening slightly as he deepened the kiss. Beatrix’s sigh interrupted his daydream, and he focused on the wonderful reality that they _were_ together, and that they were walking through the woods.

This was no dream. 

She continued walking and picking her elfroot, while he continued to walk beside her. The peace he was feeling within finally calmed his thumping heart.

They said nothing else to each other that afternoon, but for Cullen the memory of this simple walk would help him through any nightmare, and continue to comfort him for the rest of his life. 

…

The following day, there was no missive from the remaining nobles, nor was there word from Alexius.

Beatrix snapped the book she held in her hands and sighed. She looked around her cabin with a frown. She’d been inside reading most of the day, only leaving to get her meals. It was late afternoon, maybe she could get some more elfroot. She also wanted to search for Aiden’s notes. She’d wanted to the previous afternoon, but she had had that wonderful walk with Cullen and forgotten about the notes completely.

Cullen. She sighed. How wrong had she been about him! He was a kind, good man. And soooo handsome! And those golden brown eyes were extremely expressive. She found herself wanting to kiss him again, but she quickly put those thoughts out of her head and stood.

Stopping only to take a closer look at herself in the mirror, she quickly brushed back her hair into a makeshift bun. Satisfied with the result, she slipped into her boots and left the cabin.

It was a cold afternoon, but it wasn’t snowing. She waved to Varric as she made her way to the front gates, smiling at everyone she met along the way. There was a certain spring in her step, the mere memory of yesterday’s walk with Cullen etched into her mind. When she went through the gates, she found Cullen looking in her direction and waving his Lieutenant over. That could only mean he was going to meet her. Her heart soared and without knowing, her smile turned into a grin as she walked towards him slowly.

Cullen had an attractive lopsided smile on his face when she finally stood before him. Her eyes fell on his scar and she wet her lips. If only she could give his scar a damn good lick! She was sure she was blushing, and the butterflies in her stomach flurried around at a maddening pace.

“Getting some elfroot again?” Cullen asked softly. She noticed he was blushing and found it adorable.

“Yes,” Beatrix answered simply, her eyes shining.

“Then I must ask if I can accompany you, my Lady Herald,” Cullen responded quickly.

“Please just call me Beatrix,” Beatrix smiled.

Cullen’s smile deepened. “I will if you call me Cullen.”

“Deal.”

They set out into the woods, and Beatrix started to gather elfroot, while he stood nearby, watching her work.

Once she picked enough, she stood and faced him. “I have to look for something else. Adan told me of the previous alchemist whose name is – was Taigen. He was killed by demons, I believe. He’s been looking for his notes and cannot find them. I want to visit a cabin which is down this path. It’s farther away from the rest of the cabins, and the tents as a matter of fact. I have a feeling I’ll find them there.”

“I remember Taigen,” Cullen said. “He was our healer, which is why he was out in the field, helping our soldiers. The demons did get to him, poor man. As for the cabin, I sleep there, when I can. I – don’t usually sleep much. I haven’t looked around, but there’s a desk with drawers. Maybe there’s something inside them?”

“Oh! I thought the place was abandoned, I never thought you slept there,” Beatrix commented.

“I…I suffer from nightmares. A lot happened in Kirkwall, and I cry out in my –“ Cullen stopped himself from speaking, his right hand flying to the back of his neck. She noticed his expression change to a darker one and immediately decided not to ask him anything about his past. She didn’t want him to remember it at all if it meant he was going to relive an unpleasant moment.

“You must know Varric from before then?” She hoped he would focus on Varric and forget anything else that might have been creeping into his mind.

She was really pleased to see that it worked. 

“Maker’s breath, I _do_ know him from before. Apparently he thinks I should smile more and stop wearing a serious expression on my face.”

“There’s nothing wrong with your serious expression, although I like it more when you smile and laugh,” Beatrix grinned.

Cullen chuckled at that and held out his arm. “Then I shall endeavor to do just that. Shall we visit the cabin to look for the notes, my la- _Beatrix_?”

A laugh escaped her lips as she hooked her arm around his. “Lead the way, _Cullen_!”

This afternoon was certainly starting to look much better than yesterday’s.

…

As Cullen predicted, the notes were found in one of the desk drawers. She beamed at him when he handed them over to her.

“You’ve been such a great help, Cullen! I’m sure Adan will be happy about this!”

Cullen smirked at that. “He rarely smiles at all, but you’re probably right. Shall we get on with the elfroot picking?”

“I have enough I think, but I’ll probably have to get to Adan in a little while to give him all this,” she smiled, her eyes twinkling at him. Cullen felt himself blush all over again.

“But we haven’t even filled the satchel you carry, or are you in a hurry to get away from me?” Cullen teased, the blush reaching his ears.

“I would never be in a hurry to get away from you, Commander,” she said in a low, sultry voice, making Cullen want to kiss her right then and there. “But the sun is already setting and I think we should walk back before dinner, so I can find Adan before he leaves the apothecary cabin.”

Cullen felt the heat that was coursing through his veins become almost unbearable.

“You’re right, of course, my Lady,” he replied with a lopsided grin, holding out his arm for her to take. “Shall we?”

Reaching the door he opened it and stepped out with her at his side, closing it behind them. Looking down at her, he saw she had a soft smile on her face. 

He turned to face her, holding her hand. Clearing his throat, he spoke to her again.

“Will you be getting elfroot tomorrow too?”

She looked up and nodded, her eyes shining brightly. She looked so beautiful at that moment, the rays of the setting sun casting a golden-reddish hue around her. He held his breath for a moment, unable to say a word.

“I most certainly will,” she said. “I hope you’ll accompany me?”

“Always.”

At that moment they heard footsteps approaching and turned to see who it was. Leliana was coming down the path holding a parchment in her hand and she was smiling at them both. She stopped in front of them and Beatrix sighed.

“So who’s the parchment from, Alexius or the remaining nobles?” she asked resignedly.

“Neither,” Leliana replied, her eyes fixed on Beatrix. “I wanted to speak to you about something that has been on my mind. Both Cullen and Josephine do not think it important, but I do.”

Cullen sighed, knowing what was coming.

“If you want, Commander, you can leave, so you don’t have to hear it all over again,” Leliana offered, knowing full well that Cullen would be staying put.

“I know what you’re going to say, but no, thank you. I’ll stay.”

Leliana chuckled under her breath.

So predictable.

…

Leliana quickly explained to Beatrix that she was worried because the Grey Wardens had gone missing – the ones in Ferelden and the ones in Orlais. She went on to say she had a couple of friends who were wardens and that she had recently received reports from two of her scouts saying that there was a warden in the Hinterlands who was travelling alone.

“Could you go and speak to him?” Leliana asked. “I’ve a map to show the location where he was last seen. Perhaps he can tell us what has prompted the wardens to disappear so suddenly. I fear that this is related to the Breach in some way. It’s too much of a coincidence for this to be happening now too.”

“I’ll head out there early tomorrow morning,” Beatrix assured her. Leliana smiled and handed her the map, which was the parchment she had been holding.

Cullen cleared his throat, and Leliana turned to look at him.

“I wish to accompany you, my Lady Herald,” he said very seriously, ignoring Leliana’s grin.

Beatrix didn’t see it, because she was looking up at Cullen, her eyes shining. “But what of your recruits?”

“Between my Lieutenant, and Rylan, I believe they can handle them just fine,” Cullen said with a smile.

“If you’re sure, then…I would love it if you came with us,” Beatrix beamed at him.

“Who will you be taking,” Leliana asked.

“Well, I thought about asking Cassandra, Bull and Solas, but since the Commander is coming, I suppose I’ll take Solas and Varric.”

“I’ll be ready at the stables early in the morning,” he nodded, his smirk making her want to kiss him.

“Well, since that’s settled, I’ll leave you be,” Leliana said, her eyes sparkling with mischief. She nodded to Beatrix, and turned, walking along the path that led to the training area. 

Cullen groaned inwardly. There was no way he was getting out of all the teasing that was sure to follow. But for now, it didn’t really matter because they were alone, and because Beatrix stood on her toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek, thanking him for being so thoughtful and so good to her.

He could get used to that.

…


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone!   
> Things are going to get rather complicated from now on and a bit darker. The fic will have some angst, so I’ll add it to the tags.   
> I want to thank Flaminea for her feedback, because I had something prepared for another chapter, but decided to include it in this one. She suggested it and I complied! :D   
> Also, my lovely beta, Lady Darksbane. If you haven’t read her work, try to read it when you have a moment, it’s great! :D   
> I won’t be able to update every day from now on, as I did before. The reason for this is that the previous chapters were already written, and it was easier to edit and post. I am about to finish Chapter 7, though, and will continue to post regularly. Just not every day! :D   
> Thanks so much for all your feedback and kudos! It’s always thrilling to see that people like what they’re reading! :D 
> 
> As always, I am open to feedback, so don't hesitate to leave a comment if you want! :)

…

  
The journey to the Hinterlands proved to be a very pleasant one, especially for Beatrix and Cullen. They were gradually growing closer, and the only time they camped, sat in front of the fire quietly talking to each other after Solas had gone to his tent to meditate. Beatrix asked him about his life as a templar, and he readily told her exactly what that meant.

“Why did you become a templar?” Beatrix asked. Her eyes were twinkling, and Cullen smiled. He had already discovered that every time they twinkled it meant that she was about to tease him. He braced himself as he replied.

“I wanted to help, to protect others.”

“From magic?”

Cullen sighed. “Yes. As you know it does have a lot to do with magic and mages. But that was not my only reason to join. For me, the most pressing reason was that I truly wanted to protect others.”

Beatrix smiled. “And do you take vows? You know, I swear myself to the Maker, I swear to obey the Order above all else…?

“Your brother’s a templar, right? Didn’t he ever tell you about the ritual?” Cullen asked curiously.

“We rarely saw him after he joined.” Beatrix’s smile did not reach her eyes. “I miss him.”

Cullen knew not to say another word. While he and the rest of the advisors knew that Andras had probably died in the explosion, he also was aware that Beatrix did not believe this and talked as if her brother was still alive. In fact, he was pretty sure she was determined to find him. He wondered if her idea to get the templars had anything to do with this.

“So, did you take chastity vows?” Beatrix asked in a rush after a few moments, interrupting his thoughts completely. Her cheeks were crimson, but her eyes were twinkling up a storm. He could see the mirth in them and felt himself falter.  

“I – um…” Cullen said awkwardly, blushing to his ears. “I – no! I never did. Some templars do marry, but they have to have permission from the Order to do that.”

“Good to know,” she smirked.

Cullen’s hand automatically flew to the back of his neck nervously while he tried to pull himself together. “Maker’s breath,” he muttered, but Beatrix heard him, loud and clear. She chuckled and turned her gaze back to the fire before them.

Companionable silence followed their conversation and after a short while, she turned to look at him again.

“And,” she said softly, pausing to look around the camp for eavesdroppers before she spoke. “did you leave anyone special behind in Kirkwall?”

“No. There was no one special in Kirkwall or anywhere else for that matter.  But I can’t say the same about Haven,” Cullen replied, his eyes on her, his gaze intense. She looked down at the ground shyly, a soft smile on her lips.

At that moment, a tired Varric flopped to the ground right next to Beatrix. He was carrying a dead nug.

“I caught dinner!” he said proudly with a grin, laying the dead animal before the fire. “Who’s cooking?”

…

Beatrix led them to the camp they had in the outskirts where they left the horses. It was a quick trip to the camp in Lake Luthias from there, so they stopped to refill potions, and headed out on foot. Cullen walked right beside her, his eyes skirting up and around them cautiously. He knew Beatrix had dealt with the major threats, but there was still plenty of dangerous wildlife in the area.

Veering to the left, Beatrix led them up a winding path to the Lake Luthias camp. She stopped to gather some blood lotus there, while the rest stood around, waiting patiently. Cullen kept a smile on his face. He realized that she contributed to their potions on a regular basis. Even in the midst of a mission, she was thinking about ingredients.

After she had wiped the area clean of blood lotus, she left the reddish leaves and bulbs at the alchemist stand in the camp and led them up the path to the upper part of the lake. It was here that they encountered a bear, hunting the rams that ran around the area.

Instinctively, Cullen stood before Beatrix with his sword drawn and shield held in front of him as the growling bear headed towards them both. Beatrix had other plans, however. She disappeared in a puff of smoke and reappeared behind the bear, her daggers slicing into the animal’s rough hide, just as Cullen delivered a whack on the animal’s snout with his shield, stunning it in place. Magical, transparent images of Beatrix appeared, dancing around the animal with great speed and slicing it in the sides and underbelly where the hide was softer. Taking advantage of the animal’s confusion, Cullen thrust his sword up the bear’s throat. It groaned once and fell to the ground dead at his feet.

Solas and Varric quickly sheathed their weapons.

“Looks like you two don’t need us,” Varric commented with a grin. “Have you ever fought together before?”

Beatrix laughed. “No! I guess we’re in sync.”

The Commander let out a chuckle and nodded once, his warm golden gaze on her.

“We should all get to the exact location to see about this warden,” Solas added with a small smile. “Hopefully he’ll still be in the area.”

“Yeah. If he isn’t, we’ll have to look around all over the Hinterlands and that just means more walking and fighting, which is something we don’t want to do, right?” Varric replied with a smirk.

Beatrix and Cullen washed the blood off themselves quickly, then headed out towards a wooden ramp-like bridge that had been built over the lake to cross to a cottage on the other side. They could see a group of people had gathered there, and hear one of them speaking, but could not hear what he was saying until they got closer.

The man who was doing the talking had a beard and was dressed in a warden chest piece. It was obvious to Beatrix and her team that he was giving the people with him instructions on how to fight and carry a shield. 

“Blackwall?” Beatrix called out as soon as they got close. “Warden Blackwall?” The man started and looked at her with surprise.

“Who are you?” he demanded suspiciously.

But before Beatrix could reply, an arrow came whizzing directly at them both, and the warden barely had time to lift his shield. The arrow embedded itself there with a faint thud and Blackwall ordered the men with him to charge.

Cullen ran forward to attack, Beatrix disappeared as she had before, but this time Varric was ready. He shot a volley of arrows directly at the bandits, two of them instantly killing one. “One for me!” he shouted happily, as Solas burned another one alive.

In a matter of minutes, all the bandits lay dead before them. Blackwall turned back to the men he had been giving instructions to and told them they could take back what the bandits had stolen and return to their families. Then he sheathed his sword and walked over to where Beatrix and her team stood.

“Who are you and how do you know my name?” he demanded.

“I know your name because I’m an agent of the Inquisition,” Beatrix answered briskly. “I was told to come find you. The Divine is dead and all the wardens have disappeared. We’re investigating this. Do you know where they could have gone to?”

“Maker’s balls,” the warden muttered. “The Divine dead and the wardens missing? You’re not suggesting we had anything to do with it? The wardens don’t mix themselves in politics.”

“You don’t know where they went?” Beatrix asked, her eyes narrowing slightly.

“Maybe they went to Weisshaupt?” Blackwall replied thoughtfully. “That’s our stronghold up north in the Anderfels. Maybe I don’t know because there’s a new directive and the runner got lost?” He shrugged nonchalantly.

Beatrix’s eyes sparked angrily. “Well, Warden Blackwall. Thank you for your insight, but it hasn’t helped me at all.” She turned and stormed away, passing the warden and Cullen on her way. Her team walked behind her not daring to speak, as they could clearly see how angry she was. Beatrix was the kind of person that hated wasting time. It put her in a terrible mood. Before they could reach the wooden bridge, Blackwall called out to her. 

“Agent of the Inquisition!” He ran up to her and stopped. Beatrix turned to face him and waited to hear what he had to say, clenching and unclenching her fists.

“The Divine is dead and the demons are threatening us all. I wish to join you and maybe discover where all the wardens have gone.”

“I appreciate your concern, Warden Blackwall, but what can one warden do?” she asked coldly, raising an eyebrow haughtily.

“Save the fucking world, if pressed,” Blackwall replied with a laugh. He ignored her tone completely as he chuckled. Then he grew serious. “Look, I don’t know how to fight demons, but I don’t think anybody did when this mess started. This warden walks with the Inquisition.”

Beatrix finally smiled back, her anger disappearing as she considered one more person fighting in the field. They truly needed more people – there were so many demons out there! He didn’t seem to be a bad sort, but something about him had struck her the wrong way. Even so, she decided to give him a chance.

“Warden Blackwall, the Inquisition welcomes you into its ranks.”

…

Cullen didn’t talk at all about the newest addition to the Inquisition. Beatrix knew she would have to talk to him alone, because he was on his guard around Blackwall, and she caught him watching the warden when he thought no one was paying attention. She certainly was curious about what he would say, and a little nervous also, because he was entirely too serious with her. 

They found a place to set up camp on their way back to Haven, and Beatrix went hunting for something to eat with Varric, leaving the rest to set up the tents, tend to the horses and build a fire.

“Something on your mind, Buttercup?” Varric asked, when they were out of earshot from the camp.

“I’m thinking about…whether or not I should have recruited Blackwall,” she replied slowly, a worried look on her face.

“Because of Curly?” Varric asked, a lopsided grin on his face.

“No!” Beatrix hurried to say, then fell silent. After a few moments she stole a glance at Varric who was still smiling knowingly and sighed. “Alright, yes. A little. He’s been so serious and quiet with me.”

“And hasn’t stopped looking at Blackwall,” Varric added.

“That, too.”

They stopped walking and Beatrix now moved towards a fallen log where she sat. Varric promptly sat beside her.

“I don’t like the guy much either,” Varric commented. “Looks like he’s trying hard to please someone, or convince someone of something.”

“Yes, I got that, too.”

“Well, we need as many as possible to fight the demons – we know already that there are more rifts aside from the big one, so we need all the help we can get. We’ll get a chance to see him fight again before we reach Haven. There’s a strong chance we’ll get attacked by something,” Varric smirked.

“And here I thought we would have a nice peaceful ride back home,” Beatrix sighed, standing up with a smile.

“We had a peaceful ride to the Hinterlands, Buttercup,” Varric replied with a wide grin, standing up as well. “That means we’re sure to be attacked on our way back.”

…

Varric and Beatrix returned to the camp with two plump nugs. Blackwall greeted them with a smile and offered his help as he took the dead animals out of Beatrix’s hands. Cullen saw this, then walked to the perimeter of the camp, turned and walked back to the fire. He continued to watch the warden while he paced, who was now helping Beatrix skin and clean the nugs. He did smile at Beatrix briefly, but the smile immediately vanished as he focused on the warden again. Standing close to the fire, he also noticed Varric listening to Blackwall as well. The dwarf’s eyes were slightly narrowed, and his lips pursed. Solas was nowhere to be seen – he was probably meditating in one of the tents.

After they had set the nugs to be roasted over their campfire, Beatrix excused herself, saying she would go wash up in the creek that wasn’t far from where they had set up camp.

“I’ll go with you, my Lady,” Blackwall said. “I need to clean up too.”

“I’ll go with you both,” Cullen announced as he approached them. “I feel I need to splash some water on my face at the very least.”

“Never knew you were this popular, Your Heraldness,” Varric grinned, while Beatrix glared for a few moments at the dwarf.

“Let’s just go,” Cullen said a little impatiently and he walked ahead, Beatrix and Blackwall following close behind.

…

Their wash in the creek was a silent one, as well as their short walk back to the camp. As soon as they arrived, Beatrix turned to Cullen.

“May I have a word, Commander?” she inquired.

“Of course,” Cullen said and followed her to the far end of the camp.

She sat on a fallen tree trunk and he did the same, looking at her closely. She seemed to be a little sad. Maker, had he done or said something to hurtful again?

“I couldn’t speak to you before I recruited Blackwall, Commander. I’m sorry,” she said in a low voice looking down at the ground. “I just accepted his offer since we’re in need of people to fight.”

Cullen started abruptly immediately after she had spoken her first words. He was dismayed to discover that she thought he resented the decision she’d made.

“Oh, I know that…um…my Lady Herald,” he began, but did not get very far because she interrupted him.

“Don’t call me that! Not _you_!” she practically shouted, her eyes flashing angrily for a moment. “I’m _so_ tired of the ‘Herald of Andraste’ shit! I want to be me! _Especially_ when I’m with you!”

Cullen didn’t say anything for the first few minutes, waiting for her to calm down. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed deeply. She truly did hate the name that the people had given her.

“Beatrix,” he said presently in a soft voice. She looked up at him. “I know that. I’m not sorry you recruited him, please believe me. It’s just that there is something about him – I can’t tell you what exactly. It’s…puzzling, but also very annoying.”

“I know. I’ve felt it and so has Varric. But does that mean you have to be so serious around me?” Beatrix commented with a sigh.

“I’m just a little concerned about him, that’s all,” he said softly. “It has nothing to do with you. I’d never question who you recruit.”

“Never say ‘never’, Cullen,” Beatrix replied with a smile. “It’s dangerous.”

He grinned back at that. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“We’d better go back. I don’t want to have burnt nug for dinner!”

“That would be a grave predicament indeed,” Cullen agreed with a chuckle as he stood up. He held his hand down to her and she took it, bouncing back up with a laugh. She was standing so very close to him, her eyes shining and warm - for a brief second he wondered if she would react negatively to a kiss.

At that moment, at least ten men appeared out from the bushes, carrying daggers, bows and swords.

Cullen groaned inwardly.

Bloody bandits.

“I’d better see to the nugs before dealing with these idiots,” Beatrix growled, disappearing into the shadows as Cullen drew his sword and shield.

He quickly bashed his shield at the bandit nearest to him, rushing forward a few seconds later to keep up with Beatrix. It was proving difficult, however, since she flitted in and out of the shadows. He frowned until he saw Blackwall, quietly dispatching a bandit. His movements were precise and the man was undisturbed by the fact that he was now facing three. Watching him as much as he could, Cullen killed another of the bandits, realizing that even though they were outnumbered, the bandits would all be dead soon.

_Very_ soon.

Directly across from where he fought, Beatrix shouted at Varric to watch his back, and the dwarf turned quickly, only to shoot a bolt directly at his assailant’s head. The bandit dropped dead as the bolt skewered him, his blood showering the dwarf.

“Varric, you fucker! Why did you have to open your mouth and say we were going to be attacked?” Beatrix yelled angrily as she slashed into another bandit. 

“Got one more!” Varric yelled back, completely ignoring her comment as he continued to shoot off volley after volley of bolts. “That makes three for me!”

Solas had two bandits burning at the far end of the camp perimeter – a third approaching him with daggers drawn. He was keeping defensive shields up for the entire team, including their newest addition. Beatrix jumped nimbly over one of the dead bodies and rushed in to help the elven mage.

In a matter of minutes, Cullen was not surprised to watch the last bandit fall, the warden standing over the corpse, not a scratch on him. Whatever he was hiding suddenly didn’t matter: Beatrix had never been so right when she’d decided to recruit him.

Blackwall was an invulnerable killing machine. 

…

They arrived at Haven early in the afternoon, all of them grateful to be back at last. A scout was waiting for them at the stables. 

“Your Worship, Commander,” the lad said nervously as he saluted them both respectfully. “Sister Nightingale, Lady Cassandra and the Lady Ambassador require your presence in Chantry.” They both nodded to the young scout, who ran off as soon as he was dismissed.

“Well, I could go for some washing up,” Beatrix declared, wrinkling her nose at herself. “Can we do that before we meet them?”

“I could as well,” Cullen chuckled. “We should meet with them first and see if there’s news concerning our current situation.”

“Always so dutiful and serious, Commander,” Beatrix teased as they walked towards the Chantry together. “Maybe I should do something about that.” Cullen nearly stopped walking. His blush was the darkest Beatrix had seen to date. It spread to his ears and disappeared down his neck. Briefly, she wondered if his chest would be crimson too, and blushed at the thought.

_Stop that, brain! No more inappropriate thoughts!_

Fortunately, they had arrived and Cullen pushed the door open. She wondered if he had seen her blushing and shook her head slightly.

“Any news?” she asked the ladies assembled around the war table.

Josephine handed her a parchment with a frown.

“Magister Alexius asked to see you to conclude the talks,” she remarked as Beatrix took the parchment.

Beatrix read silently. She could feel Cullen watching her very closely, but did not acknowledge it. She was momentarily paralyzed by the missive she held in her hands and could actually physically feel the dread pooling in her stomach – and her anger as well – as she reached a sentence which she read over again. Twice.

Cullen could not detect anything amiss, since she kept her face blank while reading. He decided to simply wait for her to speak. Josephine, however, did not wait for her reaction. She broke the deafening silence in the room, giving them more insight into what the Magister had written.

“He _demands_ that you go alone.”

“No!” Cullen shouted, slamming his open hands on the table before him. “I will NOT allow it!”

Beatrix frowned, her eyes narrowing slightly as she regarded Cullen, the missive now forgotten.

“You won’t _allow_ it?” she repeated in a cool, low voice, her eyes shooting daggers at him.

“Redcliffe is the most defensible castle in Ferelden. If you go there alone, you’ll die, and we’ll lose the only means we have of sealing the Breach!”

As soon as Cullen had spoken those words, he knew he was in trouble. Firstly, he had no idea why he hadn’t stopped himself from blurting them out; secondly, the fear in his heart over losing the only person in his life who was fast becoming so important to him on a romantic level clearly made him speak gibberish. He stared into her angry eyes, not daring to move a muscle.

“Of course, let us all not forget that I am important _only_ because of the mark,” Beatrix sneered, her cold gaze on him for a few moments before addressing the ladies in the room, making it a point to ignore Cullen completely. “There _must_ be a way to get inside the castle without alerting the Magister, however. Do we have the means to obtain plans of the sewer entrances?”

“Wait!” Leliana interrupted. “I know another way in through a windmill near the village. It was an escape route from the castle that the Arl and his family could use if they were under attack.”

Beatrix nodded, smiling back at her. “I’ll be taking Cassandra, the Iron Bull and Solas as well as you Leliana. Could you get your best scouts and some of the soldiers inside?”

“We must go in pairs because the tunnel is very narrow, but yes. It can be arranged just fine,” the Nightingale answered. “But we must take a small force. Anything else will just alert the Magister and we’ll get caught.”

“I’ll have some of my best soldiers awaiting instructions from you, Sister Leliana,” Cullen said quietly, not daring to look at Beatrix. “How many would you need?”

“I’d say six would be enough. I’m taking six of my best scouts as well.”

At that moment, the door slammed open and Dorian Pavus walked in. 

“Fortunately, you’ll have my help,” he announced to the room, the guards behind him promptly dismissed by Beatrix. Turning, she smiled at the Tevinter mage, who smiled back.  “I know the way Alexius thinks, so I’m coming along.”

“I’d be more than happy to have you with us, Dorian,” Beatrix twinkled at him. Without turning to look at her advisors, she introduced him briefly, her eyes never leaving Dorian’s face.

Cullen felt a jab of jealousy, but did not utter a single word. He merely clenched the pommel of his sword tighter, thinking about a few ways to hit the Tevinter mage before him. Unfortunately, since he had come to help Beatrix, there was nothing Cullen could do but stare at them both. 

“Ambassador,” Beatrix turned to Josephine. “I haven’t forgotten the templars. We must have a second group ready to travel to Therinfal Redoubt.”

Josephine nodded, scribbling furiously on the parchment on her clipboard. “Any suggestions on who will go for the templars with the nobles?”

Beatrix glanced at Cullen, who was staring at her intently. She could see that he was upset about Dorian, but she was so angry she didn’t care. “The Commander can lead the group. I would suggest he take Blackwall, Varric, Sera and you should go too, Lady Ambassador, as well as the Chargers to protect the nobles. Madame Vivienne should also go to assist with the healing when necessary. Her healing spells are extraordinary, or so I’ve been told.”

“Very, well, Herald,” Josephine said with a smile as she continued to write.

“When would we be leaving for Redcliffe?” Cassandra asked curiously.

“Tomorrow at first light. So I suggest we take the rest of the day off to get ready.” Beatrix smiled at them all and turned to leave, signaling the end of the meeting. She heard Cullen call out her name, but ignored him, slipping into stealth as soon as she left the room.

She didn’t want to hear how sorry he was; she was very angry at him – angry and hurt. She had hoped they were heading towards a healthy romantic relationship in the near future.

Clearly she was wrong.

It was time she focused on duty alone. She could very well die tomorrow, there was no time for romance in her life. It was a good thing she was deciding this early. No harm done to herself and she could put it all behind her.

She sighed deeply as soon as she had closed the door to her cabin behind her. She opened a chest to look for soap and a towel to head over to the baths. A nice hot bath would do wonders and she could relax there. It wasn’t like they had already declared their love for one another. She was merely infatuated with him. She would get over it soon enough.

She wouldn’t even cry about it.

The lump in her throat said otherwise. She slowly sat at the only table in the room, her head in her hands, the tears welling up and starting against her will.

Alright, so she would have a good cry about it all then feel better, take a bath and get ready for dinner.

She nodded her head in agreement amidst her tears and thought the worst was over with. But if this was true, then…why did she feel so empty, as if she had just lost a part of herself?

A knock on the door startled her, and she quickly wiped her tears away, standing after a few moments. Her heart was hammering in her chest because she thought she would open the door to find Cullen on the other side. She braced herself and flung open the door, only to find Cassandra standing there.

“I am sorry to disturb you, but under the circumstances I thought I could see you for a few moments?” the Seeker began haltingly, unsure of Beatrix’s reaction.

“I’m about to head over to the baths, but yes, I can spare a few minutes,” Beatrix answered with a smile.

“A bath is not a bad idea. Everyone is tense,” Cassandra smiled as she sat on the only chair in the room.

Beatrix took the soap and the towel from the table and sat on her bed, facing Cassandra.

“What can I do for you, Cassandra?” she inquired patiently.

Cassandra pursed her lips, a concerned look in her eyes. “I saw you were angry at the meeting. I just wanted to say. Maker!” The dark-haired Seeker sighed deeply.

“You came to say ‘Maker’?” Beatrix asked, her eyes wide.

The Seeker smiled, shaking her head. “Sometimes it’s difficult to speak what we want to say, is it not?”

“Oh, yes,” Beatrix agreed, then tilted her head to the side, her curiosity suddenly peaking. “but you hardly have any difficulty blurting things out. You speak the truth, whatever it may be.”

“So do you,” Cassandra shot back. “And for that I am grateful. I dislike it when others beat around the bush.”

“And, so, why are you here, then?”

Cassandra laughed. “I’m doing what I hate in others, beating around the bush, aren’t I?” Her expression then turned serious. “In spite of you and I not always agreeing, I wanted you to know that I care about what happens to you, Herald. You are what we need, and I truly believe the Maker sent you to us. I know how upset you are. I know you’ve been crying also.”

Beatrix blushed at this, her smile turning into a frown.

“I also experienced a lot of anger when I was younger. My brother, Anthony and I were very close. He died. They killed him in front of me. I let my anger keep me going in those dark times. But then I was sent to the Seekers, and I found my faith again,” Cassandra continued.

Beatrix could not find the words, nor the courage to interrupt her. This woman was bearing her soul to her and she realized that she’d never opened herself up to anyone before. Beatrix understood all too well how that felt.

“I saw your anger. I know your brother must have perished in the Conclave and you are in denial,” Cassandra stopped talking, looking deeply into Beatrix’s eyes which had changed from warm to cold in barely a second.

Beatrix stood up, her anger getting the best of her. “I’m NOT in denial!” she exclaimed, her angry gaze on Cassandra, her chest heaving with each word. “My brother is alive! I _know_ he is!” She clenched her fists and unclenched them, trying to breathe in and out – to control her temper before she did or said something foolish or hurtful.

Cassandra in the meantime, looked up at her, waiting patiently for her to calm down. Even though Beatrix had a terrible temper, and could hurt others deeply whenever she lashed out, she knew that she would eventually calm down and apologize. Not that Cassandra was waiting for an apology of any kind – far from it. She came to help her friend, and help she would.

Beatrix’s breathing gradually slowed down, and she sat back down, a hurt expression on her face.

“It was not my intention to hurt you, my friend,” Cassandra said softly.

“I wasn’t upset because of that, I was – angry at someone…” Beatrix said, her voice low.

“Commander Cullen,” Cassandra quickly supplied. Beatrix’s startled eyes settled on the Seeker. “I imagined you would be hurt. Cullen often speaks without thinking. Now why does that sound familiar? Could it be that I know someone _else_ who does that?”

Beatrix chuckled, surprising even herself. Her chuckle quickly turned to laughter. She felt much lighter, than before. Not really happier, but – lighter.

“You wanted to go to the baths, right?” Cassandra said, her voice laden with relief and a smile on her face. “I can walk with you there. In fact, I think I’ll do the same and relax in a nice, hot bath.”

They stepped outside the cabin, but when the Seeker turned to walk up the path, Beatrix grabbed her arm. Cassandra turned her head for only a moment, her kind brown eyes fixed on Beatrix’s sapphire ones.

“Thank you, Cassandra. You’ve helped me a great deal today,” Beatrix said softly.

The smile that her friend gave her was beautiful and Beatrix grinned back, glad that they had talked. Glad that they had grown closer. 

Because there was nobody quite as loyal or sincere as Cassandra. And Beatrix thought that in spite of everything that had happened recently, she would be alright as long as she had friends like her to make her burden lighter.

…


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m thrilled that people are actually reading and bookmarking my fic, thank you all so much! Many thanks to all of you who have left your feedback, it means a great deal to me! And last but not least, thanks to my lovely beta, Lady Darksbane for all her help. You are awesome, sweetie! 
> 
> This chapter is mostly dark, and there are scenes that are graphic, so fair warning!  
> Please don’t hesitate to leave a comment, your feedback is always welcome! :D

...

Cullen never got the chance to speak to Beatrix before she left. And on that very morning, the nobles started to arrive. He frowned as their carriages stopped by the main gates, while a couple of scouts opened their doors and helped them out. He saw Josephine greeting them, and wave him over. Clenching his teeth, he did as the Ambassador asked, stopping only when he was right beside her. Frowning inwardly, he bowed to the nobles and kept quiet, letting Josephine do all the talking as they walked through the gates and towards the Chantry.  
  
Josephine opened the Chantry doors and gestured to scouts who were holding trays bearing refreshments. The Chantry had benches where the nobles sat, drinking their wine and nibbling on different cheeses and pastries. He didn’t know where Josephine had gotten these delicacies, but truthfully did not want to know either. 

“I received letters early this morning. The rest of the families who are supporting us are travelling here as we speak. They should arrive soon!”

Cullen nodded once. “I’ll have to go see Krem and the Chargers then,” he muttered, bowing to the nobles as he turned to walk away.  
  
“Hurry back, Commander!” Josephine asked in a clear voice before he managed to even get to the Chantry doors. “We still have much to discuss.”

Cullen sighed as he went outside, a headache suddenly flaring to life. Of all the things he expected today, entertaining nobles was the least of those on his list. In fact, this wasn’t on his list at all. Bracing himself for the day ahead, Cullen stepped outside the gates and turned left, a scowl on his face.

“Good morning, Commander,” Krem said with a smile. “I see the nobles are arriving.”

“Yes, Krem,” Cullen replied with a sigh. “More of the families who support us on are their way. We’ll be leaving for Therinfal Redoubt as soon as they arrive.”

Krem nodded at this with a smile. “Don’t like nobles either,” he announced to Cullen. “Don’t mind looking after them with the Chargers around, though.”

“Then it’s fortunate that at least one of us will be amused,” Cullen replied. “See you later, Krem.”

Krem inclined his head, the smile deepening and Cullen turned, eager to get to his cabin and splash some cold water on his face.

Bloody headache.

…

As it turned out, they left without incident two days later, but also without having received any word from Sister Nightingale, the Herald or her team. Cullen assured the Ambassador that they were probably still traveling to the Hinterlands, hoping to calm her. He did not. Josephine was _still_ a wreck, making sure the nobles were comfortable throughout the journey the best she could.

Their first stop was a large inn on the way where they rested and replenished their supplies. Soon they would be heading into the wilderness, as the Seeker fortress was in an area that was not very well known – there were no settlements or villages around. He made sure that Josephine informed the nobles so they could get all the extra luxury items they were accustomed to and not complain when they finally arrived.

Then again, they were nobles. Nobles always complained.

That night, Cullen stopped by the Chargers’ tents. They had chosen to remain camped outside the inn, and were laughing at something just as Cullen approached. A fire was cackling merrily in front of the tents, and the Chargers were sitting around it, forming a tight circle. Krem stepped out of a tent and nodded at Cullen.

“Commander,” he saluted as he sat next to Rocky. “Anything to report?”

“Just making sure you are all alright and ready for travel,” Cullen replied, a smile on his face.

“Looks like we are,” Krem smiled back. “Any problems with our ‘guests’?”

“They’re complaining, as usual,” Cullen sighed. “So, no. No problems I can readily discern.”

Cullen sat on one of the benches next to the Chargers before he continued speaking. Krem handed him a wine skin and he smiled gratefully before he drank. The wine was delicious and it would probably help him catch a few hours of sleep.

“We’re heading out tomorrow. Maker only knows at what time,” Cullen informed the group a few moments later, handing the wine skin back to Krem. “Stay as close to the nobles’ carriages as you can.”

“No worries, Commander,” Krem replied. “We have experience handling nobles. We won’t do anything to scare them.”

With a grin, Cullen left the group and headed back to the dreaded inn where all the nobles were. He sighed deeply, his thoughts on Beatrix, wondering if she had reached Redcliffe by now. 

“Maker, please keep her safe,” he murmured to himself, stopping at the inn door. He looked up at the night sky. One star that was shining brightly caught his eye and he smiled briefly, remembering the twinkle in her eyes whenever she teased him.

After a while he went inside, the light and brightness of the star shining deeply within him, nurturing his very soul. 

He would sleep well tonight.

…

Things had gone horribly wrong at Redcliffe Castle.

Beatrix had found herself dragged into a time rift with Dorian. They discovered very quickly that they were a year ahead and it was awful. Red Lyrium grew from Fiona as she warned them about an ‘Elder One’ who was rapidly destroying the entire world. She also informed Beatrix that her Spymaster was kept somewhere in the dungeons and was alive.

The rest of her companions told her about this Elder One’s destruction – that his people had assassinated Empress Celene, and that his demon army was annihilating mankind. Her companions had been infected with Red Lyrium – their eyes now bloodshot, their voices cracked and broken. They travelled through the castle dungeons, searching for any clue that would take them to Leliana. Some of the walls were covered with red lyrium, some of the corridors were blocked by the red lyrium blocks, shooting upwards towards the sky.

Beatrix had to keep reminding herself that this was the future – a future that she could change, _must_ change if she could. Grimly she walked the corridors; her mind focused on the Spymaster, vowing to kill any Venatori along the way.

According to one of the tomes found in one of the rooms, Leliana was being used for experiments. She was resistant to the Taint, and Alexius wanted to find out why. Beatrix nearly lost it right then and there after she finished reading. Now more than ever, she was determined to find her and then deal with Alexius shortly afterwards.

Oh yes. She would deal with Alexius all right.

It was the anger that kept her going. Her fists were constantly clenching and unclenching every time she reached a dead end or an empty room. She felt that somehow they were running out of time, trapped in an unending red nightmare.

“Beatrix,” Cassandra said as softly as she could, because her voice wasn’t soft at all. Beatrix clenched her fists again. Because her voice had been altered. Because her friends were going to die if she didn’t fix this mess.

“I’m going to fucking kill him,” she finally said, loud enough that everyone could hear her. “How _DARE_ he do this? How _DARE_ he?”

“He used to be quite the man and mage. I looked up to him,” Dorian said. “Funny how different things turned out.”

Beatrix turned. “We _must_ find the torture chambers. Anyone see a corridor or flight of stairs we missed?”

“I believe I can help,” Solas said. “We passed by a corridor we haven’t been in when we last went down to the lower dungeons.”

“Do you remember where it was exactly?” Beatrix asked.

“I do,” Solas replied, inclining his head slightly.

“Good. I can’t wait to kill something,” Beatrix deadpanned. “We follow you then.”

…

They were almost to the Seeker fortress, when Cullen spotted movement ahead. A group of men were approaching them. He held up his hand to stop the procession behind him and waited.

Cullen was able to discern that they were wearing templar armor. When they reached him, the leader looked at Cullen who had already dismounted.

“Ser!” the man leading the rest said. “If you are going to Therinfal Redoubt, I’d suggest you turn. There is nothing left there to see.”

“What do you mean by ‘nothing left’,” Cullen asked.

“We are the only ones remaining, Knight Captain,” the man replied, recognizing Cullen from Kirkwall where he had been stationed several years back, before he was sent to the White Spire in Orlais.

“That is no longer my title,” Cullen said shaking his head. Then he looked behind the group and stared at the fortress looming up before them. “Tell me what happened.”

“The rest of the templars were taking some kind of lyrium that infected them. It was red, Ser. We fought against them and ran when the demon attacked us,” the templar replied. “We are the sole survivors. The demon made them fight each other when it saw they could not force us to drink that red lyrium, Ser.”

“A demon attacked you?” Cullen repeated, unable to believe what he was hearing.

“Yes, Ser. We believe it had taken the shape of the Lord Seeker, but we never saw him inside the fortress, Ser.”

“I see,” Cullen replied, looking at the templars behind the man who was speaking. “They aren’t infected?”

“No, Ser,” he replied. “I ordered them not to drink and they complied because I’m their commanding officer.”

Cullen turned around, searching for the Chargers. “Krem!” he called, as soon as he spotted him.

Krem walked up to Cullen and the templars, the twenty or so men he was commanding following him.

“Yes, Commander? How can we assist?” Krem saluted, nodding to the man who was talking to Cullen.

“There’s a demon in the fortress,” Cullen replied quietly. “We cannot let this fiend loose into the world. Find and kill it.”

“Aye!” Krem said and turned to his group. He explained quickly what they were going to do, and walked off with them to the Seeker fortress.

“Will you be joining the Inquisition?” Cullen asked the templar he had been talking to. “We are in need of templars such as yourselves.”

“We would be honored, Ser,” the templar replied quickly, saluting Cullen reverently. The rest of the men with him did the same.

“There is no need for such formality,” Cullen said, a faint blush appearing suddenly on his cheeks. “Welcome to the Inquisition.”

The man smiled, his green eyes shining with hope and determination.

“What’s your name, Lieutenant?” Cullen asked as he smiled back at him.

“Delrin, Ser. Lieutenant Delrin Barris, at your service.”

…

Beatrix had managed to rescue Leliana, or what was left of her. The Spymaster’s face was a crisscross of wrinkles, her eyes were dull and almost lifeless, and they had practically torn off pieces of skin for the experiments. It made Beatrix want to kill Alexius even more than before. But they had to reach him first.

They arrived at the docks, killing two mages that had been possessed by demons and then stepped out into the courtyard. The Breach was now directly above their heads enveloping everything around them in an eerie green light.  As they walked forwards, they could see a rift seemingly waiting for them. It popped and crackled, the demons attacking them immediately. These weren’t that hard to kill, for most of them were wisps at the beginning. But when a second wave appeared, they were all armored shades.

Once those demons were dispatched and Beatrix closed the rift, they noticed yet another rift, almost at the end of the courtyard. This one was feeding directly into a massive red lyrium block that was occupying the center of the area. Beatrix leapt to the first demon that appeared. Screaming a plethora of curses, she slashed into it, and then disappeared into the shadows.

“Keep off the areas that slow you down!” Dorian yelled at the group as the first group of terrors appeared. “There are other areas that speed you up, use those!”

“I _knew_ there would be more of those!” the Bull boomed out joyfully, as he decapitated one of the terrors.    

“There’s a faster one here,” Solas yelled out, stepping into the area. His spells annihilated the rest of the demons easily and Beatrix closed the rift with an audible snap.

Something was glinting. Something in the red lyrium block that was on her left.  Cassandra had already approached it, and gave a gasp. She quickly rushed towards Beatrix, trying to stop her from reaching the massive block.

“What?” Beatrix asked, her eyes on the Seeker’s bloodshot ones. “What did you see?”

“Beatrix, it’s better you don’t –“ But Beatrix pushed the Seeker away and marched straight up to it, stopping directly in front of it.  Her mouth opened and a scream came out that made the rest rush to her side.

What was left of Commander Cullen was his fur mantle cloak, and his blond hair. There was no skin and very little flesh on him. He was just a skeleton, his mouth open in a silent scream.

There was a notice nailed to what was left of his chestplate which glinted in the sickly green light. The words on it only added to Beatrix’s tears and screams.

‘ _There is no Maker._ _We serve only the Elder One_.’

Beatrix dropped to her knees, screaming over and over again. Dorian reached out to her, but she slapped his arm and hand away. There was no comforting her.

Leliana stepped close to her and spoke. “Herald,” she said in a quiet tone.

Beatrix stopped screaming – the sobs wracking her body.

“Herald,” Leliana spoke again. This time she continued. “If we do not stop Alexius, we will all succumb to the Elder One. You will NOT get your revenge. Is this what you want? Don’t you want to avenge the Commander’s death?”

The sobs quieted down. A short while later, she stood with Dorian and Cassandra’s help.

“You’re right, Sister Nightingale,” she said quietly. “I’m going to kill Alexius for this. But I’ll make him suffer first.”

“You and me, both, Herald,” Leliana replied, her eyes cold and hard. “You and me, both.”

…

As soon as Cullen and the rest arrived in Haven, he received a missive from the Herald herself. Opening it with trembling hands, his eyes widened as he read the two sentences on it.

_Allied with the mages. Coming home soon_.

Cullen let out a half-growl, startling the messenger that was standing near him. He turned to Barris, who was standing behind him and asked him if he could watch over his training recruits. Barris nodded and inclined his head, wondering what had set the Commander off so badly that he had to drop everything he was doing.

Marching into the Chantry, he veered off to the left, pushing open the door to the Ambassador’s office, and striding in, thunder and lightning in his eyes as he walked to her desk.

A very startled Josephine looked up at him, the confusion on her face making him throw what looked like a missive on her desk. “Read it!” he ordered, his voice an angry snarl.

Josephine took the missive with trembling hands and read it quickly, one of her hands immediately flying to her mouth. Cullen said nothing and did nothing but clench his hands over the pommel of his sword repeatedly.

“Oh, my!” Josephine finally uttered, if only to break the heavy tension in the room.

It seemed that this was what Cullen had been waiting for, because he started to yell as he paced the room. Minaeve  took one look at what was happening and sneaked away, closing the door behind her.

“She is the most IRRESPONSIBLE and RECKLESS person I’ve ever known! Does she not know what danger she puts our people in?” Cullen yelled.

“But, we have some templars,” Josephine cut in, and he turned his head, the anger in his eyes making the Ambassador flinch involuntarily.

“Yes, not nearly enough for the number of mages she is bringing! This is the ENTIRE group of mages that never made it to the Conclave! There are mages there that were with Grand Enchanter Fiona when the voting took place in Orlais! From all over Thedas! And with the Breach not yet closed, some of them could very well be possessed by demons!!!!!”

Cullen stopped to catch his breath, pinching the bridge of his nose as he sighed deeply, trying to gather at least _some_ control over his anger and disappointment.

Josephine said nothing, not wishing to set him off again.

After a while, he looked at her, his eyes still angry.

“I’m sorry Ambassador. I did not mean to yell. It is not your fault,” Cullen rasped out, shaking his head. “I hope you can forgive my outburst.” His hands were trembling as he reached out for the missive and Josephine looked at him, a worried expression on her face.

“Are you alright?” she asked, the concern in her voice dragging out a bark of a laugh from him.

“Lady Ambassador, I am _never_ alright when it comes to Beatrix Trevelyan.” And with those words he bowed, then turned and left the room, shutting the door carefully behind him.

…

When Beatrix and her group arrived in Haven, she dismounted and headed straight to the War table room, gathering the rest of her companions with a wooden smile on her face. Varric fell into step beside her, and the Seeker was walking directly behind them. The dwarf smiled up at Beatrix when she glanced at him, but she did not return the smile; the look she gave him was old and sad. The rest followed them quietly while Varric wondered what was wrong – what in Thedas could have happened to Beatrix to make her look this way.

The two hundred mages she had allied with were due to arrive sometime in the late afternoon and she had to make sure everything and everyone was ready for them. Pausing only at the Requisition table to ask if there were enough tents, she discovered quickly there were only fifty-five available. They were large ones though, so she nodded and asked the quartermaster to have them pitched on the grounds outside the village proper.

A few moments later she pushed open the heavy doors that led into the Chantry, and got hold of a messenger boy who was speaking to Mother Giselle. The boy nodded as he sprinted to get the Ambassador, running off to look for the Commander immediately afterwards, and leaving Josephine’s door open. Josephine stood up from her desk and hurried outside, giving Leliana a brief hug before she turned to Beatrix, looking at her with concern in her eyes.

“My Lady Herald,” Josephine said, her voice nearly a whisper. “There is something you _must_ know before we start the meeting –“

At that moment, the door to the war table room was flung open by none other than Commander Cullen, who stood in the threshold for a few moments, a scowl on his face.

“You!” he yelled, marching up to Beatrix, who was looking at the floor. “ _How_ could you do this??? Do you not know the danger this puts _all_ of us in?”

Beatrix did not move, but when she spoke, her voice was soft. “The mages have never been given a chance to prove themselves.”

“The mages are vulnerable while the Breach remains! They could turn into abominations, slaying innocent people! Is this what you want? You are the most IRRESPOSIBLE and RECKLESS person I have ever known!” Cullen shouted, his voice booming throughout the Chantry.

It was then that Beatrix raised her head, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “Is this what you really think?” she asked, her voice quavering.

“Yes!” Cullen thundered, his stormy eyes gazing into her tearful ones.

Beatrix nodded, then turned, running out of the Chantry – disappearing into stealth a moment later.

Everyone in the room turned to look at Cullen, who was still breathing heavily, his eyes shooting daggers. He flung his hands up into the air in desperation and he walked away, leaving everyone standing there in stunned silence.

“Well,” Varric said after a few moments, scratching his chin thoughtfully. “who wants to start the search for the Herald?”

…

It was Cassandra who found her, crying quietly on a boulder in the woods that surrounded the village. She made noise when she approached, so as not to startle her, and sat down beside her with a sigh.

“Beatrix,” she said in a low voice, putting an arm around her.

“Please, Cassandra,” Beatrix sobbed on her shoulder. “Don’t ask me to return. Don’t ask me to face him!”

“Shhh,” the Seeker said as she stroked her hair. “Nobody will ask you to do anything.”

“I can’t,” came Beatrix’s strangled reply. “I can’t face him. Not after what I saw, not after what he said.”

“Perhaps it is better if you tell me,” Cassandra murmured. “Sometimes talking helps.”

Beatrix nodded sitting up, her sobs still coming as she started to speak. Casandra held her hand as she listened, her expression changing to a horrified one when Beatrix reached the part about Cullen. Then, Beatrix stopped talking as fresh tears started rolling down her cheeks. At that moment, Cassandra promised herself that she would talk to Cullen.

Maybe not exactly talk, since she was angry. Very angry. But she would certainly let him know what was going on.

“Do you think you can walk to your cabin?” Cassandra asked, as she pulled a strand of Beatrix’s hair behind her ear.  “How about a bath?”

Beatrix nodded, not trusting herself to speak. They walked slowly back, passing the training area along the way.

The Commander was nowhere to be seen.

…

When Cassandra tucked Beatrix in, after their bath and a simple beef stew, she blew out the candle and stayed in the darkened room for a few moments, trying to clear her head. They had the mages, but she knew Beatrix needed some time before she could close the Breach.

There was a soft knock on the door and Cassandra rose to answer it quickly, not wanting a second knock to disturb the Herald’s rest.

Cullen stood on the other side, his eyes swollen, a stricken look on his face.

Cassandra shook her head, and put a finger to her lips, gesturing that he must be quiet. He nodded once, his lips pursed as he was led down the path by the Seeker, outside the gates and directly to his cabin in the woods, passing through a number of mages’ tents along the way.

Once they reached his cabin, Cullen shut the door behind him and leaned back against it.

“You are in a lot of trouble, Commander,” Cassandra said, her voice laden with anger. “Where is your self-control? That self-control that makes _you_ the Commanding force of the Inquisition?”

Cullen sighed deeply, rubbing his face with a gloved hand, then letting it fall beside him.

“How is she?” he asked, looking at the wooden floor of his cabin.

“Not well. Do you know what horrors she faced at the Castle? You did not even think to ask. All you cared about was your anger, your discomfort.”

“You know very well that having the mages here is not good with the Breach still open!” Cullen replied defensively, but Cassandra held up her hand, and Cullen stopped talking.

“I know this. I do not agree with her decision. But I won’t scream the things you screamed at her, because I understand why she did it,” came Cassandra’s reply.

“Well, you’ll have to explain it to me, because I don’t understand why she did this at all!” Cullen shot back at her with a deep sigh, sitting on his bed.

“Were you not there when she told us about her aunt, Commander?” Cassandra asked, sitting on a chair across from him.

Cullen’s reply was to groan and put his hands over his face, rubbing it furiously.

“I agree that the mages should be watched, but I did not know there were templars here,” Cassandra continued. “That will certainly make our task a lot easier. But enough about the mages. Let us talk about Beatrix instead. You have effectively made her feel guilty about herself. Made her feel unworthy as well.”

Cullen looked up, his startled gaze fixing on her face. “What?” he managed to say.

“While we were all in Redcliffe, the Magister sent her and Dorian a year ahead in time. I do not remember any of this, because I was left behind. Only for a few moments though. She appeared again not five minutes later and demanded Alexius hand over the castle and had him arrested. This was before the Queen of Ferelden showed up, asking Fiona to take her mages and leave the castle. Both Beatrix and Dorian are the only ones who remember that future, because they were the only ones that were sent into it.”

“Dorian,” Cullen spat out, the scowl on his face making Cassandra smile briefly.

“She found you Commander, or what was left of you in the courtyard of the castle. Your flesh long gone, recognizable only by your fur-mantled cloak and blond hair. She said that she had never screamed or cried so much in her entire life. Aside from that, we all were infected by Red Lyrium in this terrible future. Leliana resisted the infection and the Taint – Beatrix said Alexius was experimenting on her. She mentioned that the Spymaster was unrecognizable. She fought hard to return to the present. We only saw her gone for five minutes at the most.”

Cullen shuddered, shaking his head. “I didn’t know,” he murmured.

“We cannot second-guess ourselves. We need to support the Herald’s decision. How will we fight united if we are not united at all?” Cassandra commented wisely.

“I must speak to her,” Cullen said, the remorse in his voice evident. “I must beg her to forgive me. I – I just couldn’t control my anger. I felt like she had betrayed me.”

“She is very broken. Perhaps you should let some time pass. We must focus on her getting better in order to close the Breach,” Cassandra said, rising to her feet. “I must go. Good night, Cullen.”

As soon as the door closed behind the Seeker, Cullen felt the tears start.

He did nothing to stop them.

…


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your feedback and for bookmarking my fic! It means a lot to me!!! 
> 
> Please feel free to leave a comment on this chapter as well! :D

Beatrix sighed as she woke, her eyes staring at the wooden rafters above her bed. Two days had passed since the whole mess with Cullen had left her broken. Cassandra’s words had helped, and her companions had all been to visit or had been with her whenever she was up and about.

She felt much better and thought it was time to leave the pain behind and tackle the Breach.

Cullen had tried to reach her so many times after he had yelled at her, that she had lost count. She didn’t want to listen to him or his apologies, it was bad enough that she had nightmares about what she’d seen in the castle.

Today, however, she had to see him, along with the rest of her advisors and her companions. She would be calling a meeting to plan how to approach the Breach and who would be going with her.

She washed her face and combed her hair quickly, pulling it into a makeshift bun. Once she had cleaned her teeth and dressed in her leather armor, she opened the door and walked down the path, stopping a scout in her tracks before she reached the Chantry.

“Let the advisors know that I’ll be waiting for them in the Chantry, please,” she smiled at the young woman.

“At once, Herald,” the scout saluted, turning to head to the Spymaster’s tent.

Even though she cringed at the ‘Herald’ part, Beatrix did give her a smile before she turned. Sighing, she turned to the right, approaching Varric who was already welcoming her with a big grin.

“I’m calling a meeting soon,” Beatrix smiled back at the dwarf. “We’re to close the Breach today, Maker willing.”

“So it’s an important one, then,” Varric commented. “Not to be a dark cloud hanging over you, but I hate meetings.”

“You and me both, Varric,” she sighed deeply.

“You’re feeling better, right?” There was a slight tone of concern in his voice, even though he tried to hide it.

“Strong enough to seal the Breach, yes,” was Beatrix’s reply.

“That didn’t answer my question, Buttercup.”

She saw him pursing his lips and shake his head once, still looking up at her…waiting…

“Better, yes. Thanks for your concern.”

Beatrix didn’t mean to sound stiff or cold and was sorry that her comment probably seemed that way, but Varric merely smiled. There was understanding in his eyes, which made her grin and chuckle. He was always there for her, and he knew her so well!

“And I’m going to be there when you close that Breach, don’t you forget it!” He winked at her and her grin deepened.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

…

Unbelievably, Cullen was the last to arrive at the war table room, a bit out of breath and totally flustered. He looked like he had gotten little to no sleep at all, and the purple bags under his eyes looked worse. Beatrix’s concern was well hidden, however. Even though she felt a thrill when his eyes met hers, she looked away, head held high as she tried her best to ignore him completely.  

“I’m closing that fucking Breach today,” Beatrix said resolutely. “I merely called you all together because I want you _all_ to be with me when I get to the Temple of Sacred Ashes. I want to be able to see you all, and share the moment – and if I don’t surv– If I don’t sur…“ she swallowed, unable to finish her sentence. Even though death was so common in her life these days, she couldn’t bring herself to say the words she wanted to say.

The whole room was quiet – no one dared to speak. But Cullen suddenly cleared his throat.

“You will not fail,” he said softly, but loud enough that everyone heard. There was faith in that voice. Something she hadn’t heard coming from Cullen yet. Until now.

She lifted her eyes to meet his, and the warmth, trust, and adoration she saw there made her breath hitch. She didn’t want to remember what had happened two days ago. She wanted to put it past her, and finally admit that she was falling head over heels for him. All at once, it felt hard to breathe.

He was right across from her, his eyes looking deeply into hers, alight with all the emotion he could give her. Everyone else in the room suddenly disappeared. There was nothing but Cullen, making her want to fly into his arms. Filling her with hope and determination, in a way she’d never felt before.

“We will be honored to accompany you, Herald,” Blackwall said gruffly, his voice breaking the magic as she blinked, turning to them all with a dazed smile.

“I believe Vivienne, Dorian and Solas should test the mages and choose the best ones to help you with the Breach, Herald,” Leliana said quietly. “There is no point in taking all of them.”

“I agree,” Cullen said, inclining his head. “I will take my best soldiers as well.”

Not templars, Beatrix noticed. He wasn’t taking any templars. She felt his trust filling her completely, making her want to laugh, cry, or just bask in it, forgetting even the Breach in her happiness.

“You will not be taking templars at all?” Cassandra asked with wide eyes.

“No. I don’t think they will be necessary, unless the Herald thinks otherwise?” His eyes on her again, asking the silent question. But Beatrix saw then and there that he would trust her decision – whatever it was – and respect it. That alone made her feel happier, giddier even.

“I believe they won’t be necessary either, but we could have a couple around to help in case there are demons?” Both Beatrix’s smile and question were directed at him. And she knew that he understood. That he instantly knew how much she trusted him as well. Gold and sapphire mixed together in an intricate dance of warmth and happiness, oblivious to the rest. 

“How long do you need to assess the mages?” the Ambassador spoke, directing her question at the mages in the room.

“I’m sure a couple of hours will suffice,” Solas replied. Dorian gave a nod and Vivienne merely crossed her arms.

“Indeed,” she said coldly, her voice ringing loud and clear. “However, I disagree with both the Herald and the Commander. I believe we should take more templars. The mages are vulnerable. We must realize this and take the necessary precautions.”

Beatrix turned slowly to face Vivienne. She held her gaze for a few moments, clenching and unclenching her fists a couple of times before she could control herself enough to speak. When she finally did, her voice was calm, although strained.

“Then it’s fortunate that there will only be two templars with us. Because I would never dream of leaving the rest of the rebel mages here without _proper_ _supervision_.” The last two words she spoke sounded exactly like Vivienne – same tone, same inflection, same accent.

Varric’s laugh turned into a cough, Dorian cleared his throat after giving a bark of a laugh, and the rest of her companions shifted on their feet, but Sera outdid them all. She giggled outright, the sound of her laughter filling the room. Vivienne, however, did not move a muscle, and kept her cold eyes on Beatrix, who shrugged nonchalantly at the mage, then swept her angry eyes around the room.

Sera stopped laughing.

“Is there anything else?” she asked, her voice dangerously sweet.

Nobody said another word.

“Good. We meet here in the afternoon in five hours.”

They murmured their agreement and started to file out of the room. Beatrix waited for the room to clear, smiling at Leliana and Josephine as they left. She suddenly realized Cullen hadn’t left the room and felt her thumping heart would surely burst wide open.  

She could hear him. He stepped around the table slowly and approached her, stopping when he was directly behind her. His heat enveloped her and she slowly turned and looked up to fix her eyes on his – trying to ignore the heat coursing through her body, and failing.

They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity to Beatrix, the pounding in her heart now reaching her ears, her breath coming in faster, the desire slowly filling her, shooting down to her very core. Her knees suddenly felt weak, and she was sure that she would fall to her knees if he kept on looking at her like that. With such adoration. With such burning desire. With such warmth and –.

“Beatrix,” he rasped. His voice thrilling her beyond reason. “Please forgive me for hurting you so much. I – I am _so_ sorry, you will never –“ but Cullen never got a chance to continue talking. She threw herself at him, her arms pulling him close as she stood on the tips of her toes, nestling her lips on the crook of his neck, smelling him – _tasting_ him when she left a kiss there. Her hands lost themselves in his golden hair and his arms went around her immediately. They felt so firm and warm, protecting and safe, and he drew in a deep ragged breath as he clung tightly to her. She struggled to meld herself into him, pushing on the tips of her toes to reach his ear.

“There is nothing to forgive, _my Commander_ , nothing at all…”

She felt his breath catch and heave in air with difficulty at her words, felt his heart thumping as he gave her a gentle squeeze – felt his very soul.

“Thank the Maker for you,” he whispered breathlessly, as he held her close.

Vivienne cleared her throat behind them and they flew apart, startled by the interruption.

“I am sorry to interrupt, darlings, but I have good reason to do so,” she said in her musical voice, smiling at them both – a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “There is a problem with the rebel mages and we need you in the training grounds immediately.”

“Problem?” Beatrix repeated dumbly.

“Yes,” Vivienne replied. “They _all_ want to go with you to seal the Breach and are not listening to Solas, Dorian or myself. Perhaps it would be better if you talk to them, my dear?

Beatrix nodded once. “Thank you Lady Vivienne.”

“A pleasure, my dear,” Vivienne replied as Beatrix walked out of the room, followed closely by Cullen.

Vivienne stayed behind for a few moments looking at them both wistfully – the memories of her youth assaulting her mind briefly: a ball at the Palace, gilded columns and lions, a dashing rogue. A deep sigh escaped her lips as she pulled herself together, walking out of the room in their wake.  

…

After getting the problem with the rebel mages sorted out, Beatrix walked slowly towards the tavern, trying to keep her mind steady. She knew very well that she could die when she closed the Breach and this was making her extremely nervous. Cullen caught up to her, his hand gently touching her elbow.

“Are you going to be alright?”

His gentle voice was endearing, making her smile sadly. She didn’t trust her voice at the moment, so she merely nodded.

“I’ll be heading out to see to my soldiers. If you need anything, anything at all…”

“Thank you.” Beatrix was surprised by the calmness in her voice. However, the calmness sounded stilted and extremely cold to her ears.

She didn’t mean to sound so curt, but the fear she was feeling made her seem she was, when this was very far from the truth. Cullen seemed to understand, and nodded his head briefly with a smile, giving her elbow a gentle squeeze before he turned and left.

Beatrix shivered to herself when he was gone. That scar and smile! _Why_ was he so fucking adorable?

Well, one thing was certain: If she got out of this alive, she would throw herself into his arms and kiss him senseless. She blushed furiously at the image, stopping right at the tavern door.

Well, maybe she wouldn’t kiss him senseless.

With a chuckle and a smile on her face, she turned and pushed the door to the tavern open.

Sera stopped her with a grin. “Gave miss magiepants a what for, eh?”

Beatrix grinned back, but did not reply to this.

“Betcha demons and whateva his name tremble when you step closer,” she nodded, “it’s all good, innit?”

“All good,” she agreed, turning to Flissa. “Bowl of stew, Flissa?”

Saying goodbye to Sera and Flissa, she left the tavern with the bowl in her hands, grateful for the warmth seeping through her gloves. She didn’t want to eat at the tavern because she was extremely nervous, and this was making her feel queasy. Besides, she had a chamber pot in her room in case things got ugly.

Her eyes suddenly fixed themselves on the Breach, swirling menacingly above her and she frowned darkly. She could tell right away she should never have gotten the stew.

It was going to be a long afternoon.

She only hoped the evening would be long as well – and not cut short by disaster.

She liked being alive.

…

Cullen could see Beatrix riding ahead of the procession to the Temple when he and his men reached a small hill that granted them a complete view of the path ahead. She was flanked by both Cassandra and Solas. Behind them rode her companions, watchful and alert, the sound their horses’ hooves made on the path filling him with hope. The dozen mages who would be helping her rode behind her companions, some even riding alongside them. One of the mages turned around to look at the soldiers, his eyes shining with determination and resolve.

Cullen continued riding silently with his soldiers and the two templars he had selected, not looking back once. But as they reached the long-gone gates to the temple itself, his heart started thumping loudly, pumping fear through his veins.

Fear for her.

Deeply religious, he turned to the Maker for help.

_You who stand before the gates, you who have followed me into the heart of evil,_

_The fear of death is in your eyes; its hand is upon your throat._

_Raise your voices to the Heavens! Remember: Not alone do we stand on the field of battle._

_The Maker is with us!_

As soon as they passed the two pillars that had once formed the gates to the temple proper, Beatrix dismounted and everyone else did the same. Leliana’s scouts briefly saw to the horses as planned.

It was deadly silent, and Cullen’s eyes fixed themselves on the Breach above them, casting its sickly green glow on everyone below. His eyes flicked down again and at that very moment, the crowd of people parted and he saw Beatrix looking at him directly.

She looked terrified.

He stared at her with so much faith and hope, that her eyes gradually changed – determination and resolve finally shining through. Flashing her a smile, she smiled right back at him and turned to her companions, walking slowly but surely along the balcony that spanned the perimeter of the blasted courtyard directly under the Breach.

She led them almost with confidence, smiling as she turned the first corner to head towards the stairs. Cullen rapidly placed himself on the balcony directly overlooking the courtyard, not far from the exact point where the Breach swirled above. When Beatrix appeared in his line of vision as she stepped down the stairs, he could see her very clearly.

He ordered the mages to quickly stand beside him in two lines, facing the courtyard and they immediately complied.

_Blessed are they who stand before the corrupt and the wicked and do not falter._

Beatrix nodded at Cassandra and Solas, and Solas approached the mages. Cullen swallowed, shutting his eyes briefly, still praying.

_Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just._

He barely heard Solas’ instructions to the mages, his eyes once again rooted on Beatrix who was now standing under the Breach, the mark on her left hand cackling and popping – growing in intensity.

_Blessed are the righteous, the light in the shadow…In their blood the Maker’s will is written._

He saw Beatrix grit her teeth as she raised her left hand. Before his eyes it erupted into a bright beam of green light that connected to the very core of the Breach above them. She started to advance slowly, pushing with all her might, her face masked in pain.

_Maker! Please!_

At that moment, as if on cue, the first line of mages uttered a cry in unison and thumped the ground hard with their staves, falling to their knees. Cullen felt their strong will emanating from them and rushing forward towards Beatrix – the second line of mages doing the same not a moment after.

His eyes quickly flicked to Beatrix who had raised her hand upwards, the beam of green light suddenly growing with the intensity of the sun, nearly blinding him.

_And in that baleful eye I saw the Lady of Sorrow, armored in Light,_

_Holding in her left hand the scepter of Redemption…_

Then suddenly the light DID blind him and everyone else, and he shut his eyes before everything exploded. He opened his eyes in terror, discovering that he was clutching the railing in front of him and the only one standing because of this – the Breach had effectively exploded upon closing, stunning everyone around.

He saw Beatrix lying on the ground and he ran, jumping over the unconscious mages, rushing around people groaning and reached the stairs in but a few moments – taking them two at a time to leap forward, pushing through her companions who were standing up with dazed expressions on their faces.

He was so fast, he reached her before Cassandra, who had been behind her.

She opened her eyes and saw him, her eyes suddenly twinkling like the stars in the heavens. He helped her up gently and Cassandra reached them, a smile on her face as well. Three words came from the Seeker as she embraced the Herald briefly.

“You did it!”

The whole courtyard erupted in cheers and applause, but Cullen did not care – he hardly heard them.

She was alive, and that was all that mattered.

…

Beatrix looked down at one of the courtyards where everyone was celebrating. The dancing, laughter and drinking were making her smile. Here, there were NO templars or mages, just people, which was the way it should have been always.

Both Cassandra and Varric were standing next to her, they were commenting how wonderful it was to see how well everyone got along, when suddenly the bells started ringing. Beatrix quickly ran down the steps towards Cullen, who was rallying his soldiers to make ready for battle.

“What’s happened?” Beatrix asked as she went up to him.

“There’s an army coming right down the mountain. We’re under siege,” Cullen replied, a worried expression on his face. “And there is no banner, so we don’t even know who they are.”

They were standing very close to the gates, which started rattling as if someone was trying to get inside.

“I can’t come in unless you open!” cried a voice through the large and sturdy wooden doors.

Beatrix made a quick decision to go open the doors herself, but two of their soldiers did that for her. As soon as they opened, she skid to a stop. A man in full armor collapsed in front of her, revealing a young man with a ridiculously large hat, who was holding a pair of daggers dripping with blood, which he rapidly cleaned and sheathed. His unkempt hair fell over his pale blue eyes, which were regarding her with a fearful expression.

“What the fuck is going on here?” Beatrix demanded, causing the boy to flinch involuntarily.

“I’m Cole, I came to warn you. The templars come to kill you.”

“Templars?” Cullen rasped. “What is the meaning of this? Explain yourself!”

“I ran ahead of them. The Elder One leads them. There!” the boy pointed at a hill close by where Beatrix saw this…creature…standing tall. It was a thing out of a nightmare, skeletal in appearance, red lyrium growing out of its face and neck – and definitely a darkspawn. A man in full armor joined him and Cullen let out a gasp.

“I know that man in templar armor!”

They looked back at the place where the boy had been standing, and saw nothing. Then, out of the darkness, a limping man appeared, dressed in templar armor and holding his side.

Beatrix eyes widened and Cullen turned to look at her when she gasped out a name.

“Andras!”

Running forward she flung herself into his arms, and he gave a cry of pain. “Beatrix! I need an elfroot potion, please! I escaped them to warn you, but stragglers beat me up and left me for dead…”

Hurriedly, Beatrix pulled out a potion from her satchel and Andras drank it greedily, giving a sigh of relief.

The templars were fast approaching now and Beatrix turned to Cullen, her voice quavering with fear and desperation as she spoke.

“Cullen, give me a plan! Anything!”

“We must control the battle, if we are to win!” Cullen responded, then unsheathed his sword and turned to his soldiers and the mages who had gathered around, rallying them.

“Mages, this will not be easy! That is Samson up there! Inquisition, with the Herald! For your lives! For all of us!”

…

In the madness that followed, Andras stuck to his sister, defending her as much as he could. The elfroot potion had worked wonders and he seemed eager to fight and kill as many templars as he could.

Cullen fought tirelessly, keeping an eye on Beatrix, for she frequently disappeared and reappeared on the field, flitting among their enemies like a shadow. All around her, her companions fought with grim determination. Cullen managed to get closer to Beatrix, letting her know that it looked like one of the trebuchets wasn’t firing.

“We’ll take care of that, Cullen!” Beatrix panted as she continued fighting, clearing a path to the trebuchets.

“Coming with you, sister!” Andras growled from somewhere on her left. Four of her companions followed her to the trebuchets as well.

When they arrived, the place was teeming with Red Templars.

The fight was brutal. Beatrix was relieved to find a supply cache nearby, probably left there by the soldiers who had been killed when the Red Templars arrived. She quickly gathered as many potions as she could, and continued fighting.

Varric was having a field day. His bolts had killed a great many and he was grinning about it while keeping count. Cassandra was a force of nature, rushing into many of the templars with her shield and throwing them off balance. Dorian was throwing electrical bolts here and there, always hitting his targets. Many of the templars were electrocuted on the spot. He was having a great deal of fun and Beatrix smiled at what he said every time he killed another templar. Bull was frightening, his huge hammer not only killing his targets, but stunning those nearby as well. Soon, Beatrix took her position at the trebuchet and began to turn the wheel to aim it, the rest watching her back.

“I’m so glad you’re here Andras!” She gasped a little as she spoke, willing herself to move faster with the wheel.

“As am I, sister. As am I,” Andras answered with a smile, keeping a defensive position in case more Red Templars showed up. “You must have thought I died in the explosion.”

“Never!” Beatrix replied, turning the wheel for the last time. The trebuchet was finally ready to go and Beatrix cut through the massive rope with one of her sharp daggers. The great stone flew through the air, landing on a mountain across from the village and producing an avalanche.

An avalanche that caught a great many Red Templars in its wake, burying them in the snow and killing them instantly.

Everyone cheered, but their celebration was short lived. A huge dragon suddenly appeared, flying directly at them. It opened its great maw and a deadly jet of something red shot out, completely destroying the trebuchet.

They ran for their lives and arrived at the gates to the village, where Cullen was shouting at everyone to get inside.

It made no difference, though, because they were far from safe. As Beatrix ran about helping villagers and survivors escape to the Chantry, the Red Templars swarmed them, climbing over the wooden walls with ease.

Fighting for their lives, they finally rescued everyone they could and went into the Chantry, where Cole could be seen helping Roderick to sit.

“This is madness,” Cullen commented breathing heavily. “We can’t fight a dragon! Everything in Haven is made of wood, except for this building!”

“I’ve seen an archdemon before and it looked like that,” Cole said as he comforted the Chancellor, helping him swallow an elfroot potion. “The Elder One wants you, but he doesn’t care about the village. He will kill everyone here and destroy you, too.”

“The only option here is to calibrate and aim the remaining trebuchet on the mountain right next to Haven,” Cullen said.

“But we’d bury Haven!” Beatrix protested. “We can’t do that!”

Cullen grabbed her arm, his countenance a mask of determination, his eyes sad. “We’re dying, but we can choose how.”

Cole suddenly cried “Yes, that!” and turned to them both, smiling. “Roderick knows a way out, he can help!”

Roderick slowly explained that there was a tunnel leading out of the Chantry. He ended up telling Beatrix that he believed she was more than he thought she was and that he would pray for her.

“Lead the people out of Haven through the tunnel, Cullen,” Beatrix said, her voice calm and certain. Turning to her companions she said, “I will launch the trebuchet, and NOT ONE OF YOU will come with me! You have to stay here and help Cullen with the people!”

Her companions immediately started to protest, but she held up a hand. “I fucking mean it! I’ll be in stealth so you won’t know where I am, anyway. I can reach the trebuchet easily, without anyone seeing me. Sneaking is my specialty. I’ll be fine.”

“We can let  you know when we are safely away from Haven by firing a burning arrow up at the sky,” Cullen replied as he ordered six of his soldiers to accompany her.

“I’ll set the trebuchet off with their help, and you lead the people out. I’ll watch for your arrow before I fire at the mountain. That’s the plan and we’re sticking to it.”

“But, what of your escape?” Cullen’s voice wavered slightly.

She turned to him with a look that made his eyes widen.

“No!” Cullen shouted, but it was Andras who rushed to her, standing directly in front of her.

“Over my dead body, sister!” he growled.

“Fuck this! As the eldest, I _know_ what I’m doing and _you_ should stand down, brother! I won’t hesitate to knock you unconscious if you dare try to follow me!” Beatrix shouted, her eyes two smoldering cores.

Andras crossed his arms, shaking his head. “I’m coming with you.”

Cullen looked from one to the other. It was clear that the stubborn streak Beatrix had was a trait of the Trevelyans.

“I’m leaving now, and don’t you _dare_ come after me, Andras Trevelyan! Cullen, make sure you hold him tightly! Better yet…” she quickly brought the pommels of her twin daggers on her brother’s head as he turned to look at Cullen.

Andras slid to the floor, unconscious.

Cullen caught her immediately afterwards, embracing her with such fear and desperation that she gasped for air. He murmured an apology as he let her go, holding her at arms’ length.

“Promise me,” he said, swallowing with difficulty. “Promise me that you’ll come back to us…to me…”

“I promise,” Beatrix replied. Cullen lowered his head and kissed her forehead, his heart overwhelmed with desperation and fear for her.

“Get the people out of here, Cullen. Protect them. And take good care of my brother,” Beatrix smiled up at him sweetly. She slowly backed out of his arms, still smiling at him. Reaching into her satchel, she brought out a fistful of black powder which she threw to the floor, disappearing into the dark smoke and shadows immediately afterwards.

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Verses from the Chant of Light that Cullen uses to pray: Apotheosis 1, Benedictions 4: 10 and 11, and Exaltations, 1 respectively.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we have a few revelations in this chapter. Um, not saying anything else! LOL 
> 
> Once again, thanks to my wonderful beta, LadyDarksbane, who does such a fantastic job! Her fics are really awesome, the links to them are in my bookmarks! 
> 
> Thank you to all those who have bookmarked and/or reviewed this fic. Your feedback really means a lot to me! Would love to hear what you think of this one! :D  
> ...

…

Organizing the hundreds of people and everything else took time, but not as much as Cullen thought. Everyone had either one of Beatrix’s companions or one of Cullen’s best soldiers to help, and things were done so quickly, he thought for sure the Maker or Andraste was with them.

The packed brontos fit into the tunnel, but could only be taken through one at a time, the horses had been taken long before the brontos, a soldier leading each one, with Master Dennet ahead of them all leading Beatrix’s favorite horse. Both the refugees and villagers walked into the tunnel with their families, some of the children crying in the dark, clinging to their mothers’ skirts.

They walked for what seemed to Cullen like ages until finally a light was spotted at the very end. Behind and in front of him, Cullen could hear the whispers thanking the Maker. The light was a beacon of hope and promise, but for Cullen it only meant another obstacle had been tackled and would soon be put behind them.

How could he feel hope or promise when he knew Beatrix had been left behind? How could he put one foot in front of the other, feeling his entire soul fracturing with each step?

And yet, he carried on. He carried on for the people, but mostly for her. Because it was what she had asked him to do.

Once they were out of the tunnel, Cullen looked around. Spotting higher ground, he ordered his soldiers to lead the people to it, knowing they had to put as much distance as possible between them and Haven. Then, they were climbing up the mountain, the cold air howling at them, pulling them down. But he rallied everyone and shouted until they were all safely on higher ground.

The valley below them was white and quiet. From this vantage point, Cullen could see Haven very clearly, the fire burning some of the houses still. Far to the left, he spotted the Elder One and his dragon, circling a tiny human figure which he knew in his heart was Beatrix.

Cullen called out to Sera, who came to stand beside him, her hands already holding her bow tightly. Solas quietly slipped next to her, waiting for the signal. Cullen nodded at them, swallowing back the tears.

Sera nocked an arrow, Solas lit the tip, and she released it. The arrow flew into the night sky – a burning light that heralded death.

Andras, who had regained consciousness, stood silently beside Cullen. He stared at the valley below, not speaking a single word, his hands clenched at his sides.

And then, the trebuchet fired and hit the mountain. They all watched the avalanche starting and the dragon picking the Elder One up and flying, the snow and rocks burying Haven…

And Beatrix running. Beatrix jumping as the rocks and snow caught up with her.

And then she disappeared.

Cullen held back a sob, barely keeping his emotion in check. But he was trembling all over.

“I’m going to kill you, Cullen,” Andras said quietly, turning around and disappearing into the crowds of refugees and villagers.

Cullen said nothing to this. He continued staring down at the snow, at the place that used to be their home. Staring at the place where Beatrix had disappeared, breaking his heart into a thousand little pieces.

He didn’t need anyone to kill him.

He was already dead.

…

She groans as she comes to, holding her head a few moments later, the steady drip of water making her sit up. Pain lances through her side and she realizes she has fractured her ribs. It’s difficult to get in a breath of air properly, but she does her best, panting as the color slowly returns to her cheeks.

After what seems like an eternity, she stands, bending over with her arm clutching where it hurts the most. She can see a tunnel leading forward and she starts to walk slowly along it, looking at its frozen walls from time to time, gathering her wits about her and planning ahead. 

_I’m alive and I have to keep going._

She sees a light in the distance and tries her best to put one foot in front of the other. She can’t fall. She cannot fail.

_I have to find the others._

She reaches an opening, but a rift cackles over her head, and four despair demons materialize in front of her. Without thinking, she holds up her left hand, the mark suddenly sizzling to life, a beam of bright light connecting to the rift and then to the demons. The rift pops and cackles and then both the rift and the demons are gone.

She stares at her hand, a look of sheer surprise on her face. The mark feels different, as if it has suddenly grown in some way. She can’t understand what has happened back there with the Elder One, but she knows deep down that her mark is more powerful.

Pausing only to check her satchel, she nearly screams when she discovers there are no healing potions. What she thought was light, is actually a blizzard – the swirling snow almost a sheet of ice reflecting what little light it can, turning it into a brighter source of light. She is weak and injured and feels herself falter for one brief moment.

_I can’t give up. I can’t give up – I won’t!_

Stepping outside directly into the blizzard, she gasps as the cold air hits her all at once. But she resolutely continues to walk in the deep snow, one foot in front of the other.  She firmly shuts her mind against all negative thoughts and continues; her will strong, fueling each step she takes.

_I have to return to them – to him. I promised him I would!_

Cullen’s face appears before her. His smile, his golden eyes. She focuses on that, as she continues to walk, knee-deep in snow, but slowly advancing.

It’s better when the blizzard stops, and the blinding snow and ice turn into soft, gentle snowflakes. She can see better. Her heart suddenly soars when she sees the remnants of a fire pit, a cauldron to the side. She spurs herself forward to reach it, only to find that it is cold and not even embers remain.

She falls to her knees to catch her breath, but sleep starts to overtake her. Why was she fighting? She is tired and injured. Sleep would be so wonderful right now. She could gain back her strength and –

_Wake up! Wake up!_

She jolts to a woman’s voice practically screaming in her ear and looks around wildly, her eyes wide open as she struggles to her feet once again.

“Who’s there?” she asks sharply. But the only thing that she hears besides her thumping heart, are wolves howling in the distance, reminding her not to tarry. Her strong will makes her continue. She feels like it’s been days since she’s done the same thing: one foot after another.

One foot after another.

She notices the land is slanting upwards and swallows, pushing herself to the limit.

_I will not fail._

Her eyes open wide when she sees the remains of another fire pit, but upon reaching it, she sees the embers and the relief that floods through her is invigorating. This means she is getting near. She suppresses the tears of happiness and struggles to move on, finally reaching a pass between the mountains. Light from several fire pits illuminate the entire area.     

_I’m alive. I’m alive and –_

“There she is!” she hears a familiar voice say, and she drops onto her knees, suddenly feeling exhausted, unable to continue.

But she doesn’t have to. She is gently picked up into someone’s arms and carried forward. She can barely open her eyes now.

“Stay with me, Beatrix,” the voice whispers gently.

She smiles. She knows that voice. She doesn’t have to open her eyes to see Cullen’s face.

She feels safe in his arms.

As if she belongs.

…

 _Skyhold_. _Tarasyl'an Te'las,_ Solas had told her.

The very name of the place made Beatrix think of the elvhen fighting battles and protecting their loved ones – their heritage. The place had been hard to reach from where they came, but when Beatrix had first seen it, she _knew_ that it was home.

She had thanked Solas so much for leading them to this wonderful place – this amazing castle nestled in the mountains. The elf had disappeared quietly once they arrived, a small smile on his face and obviously pleased that she had responded so positively.

They had already begun working to restore it, as it had been in a terrible state of disrepair, most likely from battles that had been fought here.  She didn’t mind that some of it was dilapidated though. The place just felt right. She could practically _feel_ the way it had welcomed them, very much like a lover welcoming a long-lost love.

She felt shy about speaking to Cullen, so she stayed with her companions and her brother for a bit. Andras seemed to like being around his sister, and that made the rest start respecting him, which made everyone happy – companions and advisors alike.

After a few days of having arrived, she noticed Cassandra, Leliana and Cullen altogether in one of the courtyards talking amongst themselves. They smiled in her direction – Cullen’s eyes were practically devouring her, truth be told – and then Cassandra waved her over.

Cullen, Leliana and Josephine stepped away, and Cassandra smiled at her.

“Look at the people, they arrive here daily,” Cassandra said, her eyes on the people who were just arriving, some of them embracing their loved ones, others hand in hand with looks of happiness and wonder as their eyes swept over the old fortress. “They have turned this into a pilgrimage of sorts.”

“I know there is a lot of work to do, and all of us are mostly sleeping in tents, but I already love this place,” Beatrix murmured as she took in the imposing battlements that ran along the whole keep, protecting them from assaults.

“Andras has settled in quite well, has he not?” Cassandra asked, a ghost of a smile on her lips.

“Yes,” Beatrix dimpled. “I think he’s comfortable here. What happened to the Order had him nervous, but he seems much calmer now.”

“Beatrix, we know how you stared down that monster,” Cassandra said quietly. “The whole scene was very visible from where we stood. I think the time has come to let you know how you stand among us.”

“Excuse me?” Beatrix asked dumbly, not really following Cassandra’s words.

“You stood against an ancient darkspawn and you live,” Cassandra replied.

“I was lucky, I’ll give you that,” Beatrix’s smile now a grin. “But Corypheus wanted my mark. He couldn’t get it, so he wants me dead. That’s it in a nutshell. I haven’t done anything special, besides probably being extremely lucky.”

“Well, my friend, I disagree,” Cassandra smiled. “You took risks and made decisions that Cullen, Leliana, and I could not make.”

She followed Cassandra up the massive stone stairs that led inside to the main hall of the fortress. Cassandra did not stop talking, but went on.

“Your decisions let us heal the sky and it was your determination that brought us out of Haven. You are the creature’s rival because of what you _did_. And _all of us_ know this.”

Climbing the stone stairs, they came to the landing, where Leliana awaited with a sword – a gold dragon its hilt, beautifully crafted. It gleamed in the sunlight and Beatrix stood still, turning to Cassandra with a perplexed expression on her face.

“The Inquisition requires a leader: the one who has _already_ been leading it.”

Beatrix felt her jaw drop and her eyes widened. “Me? Are you quite sure about what you are asking me to do?”

“I have never been more certain, my friend,” Cassandra replied with a smile, gesturing to the sword. “How you lead us, however, that will be your decision to make.”

Beatrix slowly took the sword from Leliana’s hands. It was heavy, but at the moment she did not care. Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest.

“Corypheus will never let me live in peace. He made that clear,” Beatrix said in a loud voice, still looking at the sword in her right hand. “He intends to be a god, to rule over us all.” She took the sword and swung it to the front, looking down at all the people gathered in the main courtyard.

“Corypheus must be stopped!” she practically yelled. From where she was standing she could see Dorian’s grin, Bulls lopsided smile and Sera’s fist in the air. In front of all the people stood Cullen and Josephine – her brother Andras next to the Ambassador grinning up at her. Cullen looked like he wanted to kiss her and she felt herself blush. His admiration for her shone so brightly, he almost made her forget where she was.

“Wherever you lead us, my friend,” Cassandra said beside her. Turning to the people she yelled.

“Have our people been told?”

“Yes, and soon the world!” Josephine replied with a smile.

“Commander!” Cassandra called out to Cullen. “Will they follow?”

Cullen spun on his heels to face his soldiers and the rest of the people in the keep.

“Inquisition, will you follow?”

Everyone erupted in cheers.

“Will you fight?” He shouted again, and the people’s cheering grew in intensity. “Will we triumph?” Cullen asked them, shouting even louder. He quickly unsheathed his sword, and turned around to face the stairs, his sword raised to Beatrix as a token of total devotion.

“Your Herald, your leader, your Inquisitor!” His shouts reached the entire keep, and the keep answered with cheers that were deafening.

And then, Beatrix lifted the sword she held up high in response and the crowd went ballistic. Never in her entire life had she heard so much shouting and screams of joy. She felt a thrill starting in her stomach and shoot up directly up to her heart, which was thumping madly. She hoped to be worthy of this title. 

She could not fail.

 _Corypheus had to die_.

…

Beatrix went down to the main courtyard and headed towards the stables, passing Cullen who was ordering his soldiers around. Her heart thumped loudly in her chest, and since he looked so busy at the time, she continued to walk until she reached Master Dennet and the stables. The horses looked well-fed and their coats sleek. One of them – the one she always rode – whinnied to her and she approached, rubbing its nose affectionately.

“Good afternoon, Master Dennet,” she smiled at the horse master. “Everything alright?”

 “I didn’t think there would be so much food for the horses,” he grinned. “Everything is fine, Inquisitor, is it?”

“Yeah,” Beatrix nodded. “I’m still not sure how to feel.”

“Well, it suits you, Inquisition,” Dennet smiled.

Beatrix smiled back. From where she was standing, she could see Blackwall working on something inside the barn. She decided to pay the warden a quick visit.

“How are your wife and daughter? Have you heard from them?” she politely asked Dennet.

“Aye,” Dennet smiled up at her as he wrestled with a bale of hay. “I miss ‘em, but someone’s got to save the world.” He chuckled outright at this, and Beatrix grinned at him, nodding her head. Turning to her horse, she patted his head a final time and walked into the barn.

“Hello, Warden,” she called out to Blackwall, who turned to her with a smile. When she approached him, she discovered he was actually carving a toy: a wooden griffon.

He smiled at her. “This is just to keep the hands busy, mind you.”

“I didn’t know you could carve,” she commented, admiring his work.

“Helped carve that gigantic war table of yours,” Blackwall replied, leaving his tools on the table. “I was thinking of taking a break anyway, _Inquisitor_.”

She chuckled, shaking her head once. “I _still_ don’t know how I should feel about it, like I just told Master Dennet.”

“You’ll do fine, I have no doubt about that,” he replied.

“Well, I’ll leave you be, for the moment. I have to see how the work is doing. I believe they’re cleaning out the main hall completely today.”

“Good to know,” Blackwall smiled, then gave her a nod. “If you need anything, you know where I am.”

Beatrix walked back, passing one vendor stall, where a lady, obviously Orlesian because of the mask, looked up and smiled. She smiled back and continued to walk, directly to Cullen, who was now reading a report of some kind.

“Am I interrupting?” Beatrix asked softly, and Cullen lowered the report immediately, his face suddenly changing from a scowl to a grin.

“No, not at all,” Cullen replied quickly. “Anything you need?”

“Not really, just…passing by,” Beatrix blushed. “I – um – heard they’ll be finishing clearing out the main hall today.”

“Yes, among other things,” Cullen nodded with a smile. “Your quarters will be ready soon as well.”

“Oh, I don’t mind sleeping in a tent,” she replied in a hurry. “I’m just glad to be alive.”

Cullen nodded, his eyes suddenly sad for a few moments.

“How many died? Do we have the numbers now?”

“I believe we do, although the report hasn’t reached me yet. Sister Nightingale should have it ready at the next meeting this afternoon.”

“I see,” Beatrix replied, her eyes suddenly darting to the ground. The blush on her face was now a deep red. “Um, well, I’ll – be leaving you to your work then.”

Before she could leave, Cullen grabbed her arm.

“Beatrix,” he rasped, his eyes full of worry. “I won’t let what happened at Haven happen again, I swear. You almost – “

He took a deep breath as he looked deeply into her eyes, the need to hold her in his arms stronger by the minute.

“I’m glad you made it out of there alive too, Cullen,” Beatrix said in a soft voice, her blush now reaching her ears, her eyes suddenly focusing on the ground again. “I’ll…see you at the meeting?”

“Yes, of course,” Cullen replied, letting go of her arm hastily.

She smiled and nodded once then turned to climb the stairs, her heart beating even harder if that was possible. Inhaling and exhaling deeply, she turned the corner and decided to go find Andras.

She’d look at the main hall later.

…

She stood outside one of the tents that had its flaps closed.

“Andras?” she called out, waiting for his reply. He had told her earlier that he had a lousy headache and was going to rest in his tent, so she wanted to see how he was doing.

There was no reply, so she pulled on one of the flaps and went inside, worried that her brother might be ill.

She stopped short at the entrance, as Andras turned to face her. He was drinking down a bottle of something, and his eyes suddenly looked red. Very red.

“What?” Beatrix started and he held out a hand for her to stop talking.

“Just drinking my fill, sister,” he said with a wolfish grin. “You should try it sometime. You wouldn’t believe the power. It makes you feel like you can overcome any obstacle.”

“What are you drinking?” she asked in, her voice rising an octave, confused but disillusioned at the same time.

“Don’t you know?” he scowled. “You’re the fucking Inquisitor. You _should_ know.”

“Andras!” she managed to say, while her brother pursed his lips angrily.

“Yeah, Andras this, Andras that. Why don’t you just _SHUT THE FUCK UP_?”

Beatrix took a step back as if she had been slapped. She tried to keep the tears from falling and shook her head.

“Wondered how I made it alive after the explosion? It’s thanks to this glorious red liquid here,” Andras murmured. “the elixir of the Maker – _IF_ the Maker even exists.”

“Andras, I – “

“Shut up, Beatrix. You bore me. I’ll let you act all 'Inquisitor' on your own. I’m leaving,” he picked up a pack and flung it over his shoulder. “I’m taking one of the horses, too. You have too fucking many of them now.”

He passed her and pulled both flaps up, turning slightly to the right before he left.

“Have a good life, _Inquisitor._ While it lasts, that is…”

And then he was gone.

…

He rode like the wind, not caring about the snow or how the mountains seemed to try to bring him down. In a few hours, he reached a village where they spoke Orlesian and got some food. He fed his horse and gave the animal some water, then he was on it again, riding with one thought only in his mind: to reach his rendezvous point.

After a few more hours of riding, he came to a clearing, where he saw one of his brothers keeping watch. Nodding once to him he entered the campsite, giving two other templars his horse after he dismounted, which they led away. He walked through the camp, stopping at a huge tent at the end. Clearing his throat, he entered, smiling to himself.

A tall thing out of a nightmare stood before him, his upper lip in an eternal snarl.

“Well?” the thing said as Andras knelt before it.

“It is done, Master. I know where they are,” Andras spoke softly, not daring to look up yet.

“Very good,” the creature replied.

“The place is called Skyhold,” Andras continued.

 _“Tarasyl'an Te'las._ Your sister is clever,” the creature commented.

Andras did not say another word, but looked up, waiting for the creature to speak.

“Return to Samson,” it said, waving him off. “Write a full report for him. Then, we must proceed with our plan.”

Andras Trevelyan nodded once then turned and left the room.

He didn’t look back.

…

Beatrix had finally calmed herself enough to go to the meeting, although she knew she was late. She shuddered to herself as she reached Josephine’s office, which was empty.

Too stunned to even think properly she pushed the doors to the war table room open, her advisors immediately looking up from a report they were reading.

“Inquisitor!” Leliana hurried to say, a frown on her face as she watched Beatrix come to a stop in front of the table, grasping it tightly.

“Are you alright?” Cullen asked, concern in his voice.

Beatrix took a deep breath, willing the tears back, willing herself to calm down – if only for a few minutes.

“Andras is gone,” she informed them, taking in a deep breath.

“Gone?” the Ambassador asked. “Gone where?”

Beatrix shook her head, nausea rising to her throat and she faltered. Before Cullen could reach her, Leliana did, handing her a tankard with water she had poured from a jug next to her. Beatrix took the water and gulped it down, feeling better immediately. She nodded her thanks at Leliana and then sighed deeply. 

Turning to look at their concerned faces, she knew that the next words she spoke would create a problem. 

“I’m afraid I’ve some terrible fucking news for you all,” she said as she straightened, her eyes flashing angrily for a few moments.

“My brother is a fucking Red Templar.”

…


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks for all your wonderful comments/feedback! And to all your kudos as well! Thanks also to my wonderful beta LadyDarksbane who always takes a moment of her time to help me out! :D  
> WARNING! The amount of fluff in this chapter may cause cavities! :P  
> …

…

No matter what she did or where she went, Beatrix could not keep that last image of her brother drinking a vial of red lyrium out of her head. It took her a long time to do so. However, she had to carry on for the Inquisition and carry on she would. Besides, the anger she now felt for the Red Templars and Corypheus had increased tenfold.

This, she thought, was a very good thing.

Both Leliana and Cullen had their eyes on leads that would take them to the Red Templar strongholds or point them in the general direction. Since the Red Templars needed red lyrium to survive, they had also heard rumors of mines in several places. The only question was where exactly.

One bright morning, several weeks after Andras had left, Beatrix nearly collided into a messenger while she was heading to the undercroft where the smith was. She had planned on making a dagger with a bit of fade-touched material she had found in the Hinterlands mountains.

“I’m sorry, Inquisitor,” the man said nervously. “The Commander wishes to speak to you at once. He said it was important.”

Beatrix smiled at the man while giving him a nod, and he bowed before her. Turning around after she rolled her eyes, she headed outside the keep, towards Cullen’s office which was located in one of the towers on the battlements. She could not still the beating of her heart, even though she frequently talked to Cullen. The truth was that she was falling for him even more – if that was altogether possible, and she had seen the way he looked at her sometimes. One of these days she would have to talk to him to discover the way he felt about her.

Reaching the tower, she knocked on the door and heard Cullen’s voice calling out for her to come in. As soon as she entered, he stood up from the chair in front of his desk with a smile.

“Inquisitor,” he said in a soft voice, his eyes shining brightly. “I didn’t realize you would be here so soon.”

“I wouldn’t like to keep you waiting, Commander,” Beatrix laughed, stepping closer to the desk.

“Are you feeling better today?” He asked.

“I try to keep Andras out of my head as much as possible. But there are days when it is more difficult,” she frowned. “I wish I had been able to find him before the explosion.”

Cullen frowned and shook his head. “There was nothing you could do, Beatrix,” he said sadly. “Your brother wasn’t even inside the building.”

“I know,” she replied. Then she shook her head. “You wanted to see me?”

“Yes,” Cullen said, picking up a report from his desk. “We’ve found evidence of red lyrium smugglers in the Emerald Graves. They probably have leads that we can follow.”

“I’ll be happy to look at this for you, Cullen,” Beatrix smiled. “One of the things I wish to do is kill more Red Templars and get to the bottom of their red lyrium source.”

“I know we have to also keep in mind that Empress Celene could be assassinated and that Corypheus has an army of demons in that future you witnessed,” Cullen added with a frown. “But I’m sure it’s all tied together.”

Beatrix nodded thoughtfully.

“Josephine was saying something about a ball to be held at Halamshiral,” she said. “I think that would be a perfect opportunity for the assassin to make his move. We’ll see soon enough what the Ambassador and our Spymaster can tell us.”

There was a knock on the door and Cullen sighed. “Come in,” he barked.

One of his assistants came into the room, inclining his head briefly and saluting.

“Begging your pardon, Ser, but you wanted to speak to  me?”

“Yes,” Cullen handed the man some documents. “Take these over to Sister Nightingale. I want a reply, so you bring them to me directly as soon as she replies.”

“Yes, Ser,” the man said nervously, then bowed and left.

“I was wondering, Cullen, if you have a moment to spare?” Beatrix asked, her cheeks tinged with red. “I wanted to speak to you, but I confess I don’t know how to do it if we’re to be interrupted.”

“That’s easy to avoid,” Cullen replied. “I mean, avoid the interruptions.” He blushed and his right hand landed on the back of his neck where he rubbed twice. Then he walked to each of the doors and started to lock them.

“Um…” Beatrix said, interrupting him right after he had locked the first door. “I thought about doing something different. I – I wondered if you could accompany me to my quarters? Nobody ever interrupts me there, and your soldiers wouldn’t know you’re there with me.”

“Your…your quarters?” Cullen swallowed nervously. “Oh. Of – of course.”

They left the office through the door that led to the rotunda, where Solas was painting. The elf raised his eyebrows slightly at Beatrix, but she gestured at him to keep quiet. The elven mage smiled at her and nodded at Cullen. Cullen nodded back as he followed Beatrix out of the room and into the main hall.

…

As soon as they arrived, Cullen cleared his throat.

“Please, take a seat,” Beatrix gestured to the love seat in the room. “Would you like – um – some wine?”

“Wine sounds…perfect, thank you,” Cullen replied with a nervous smile, his hand once again rubbing the back of his neck.

She sat beside him after giving him a goblet and both of them stared into the fire.

“Um, your quarters are beautiful,” Cullen said, trying to keep his eyes away from Beatrix, desperately thinking of what to say. He had no idea what Beatrix wanted to talk about, but he _did_ want to talk to her about a lot of things. Mostly about things he was feeling. However, how does one begin an appropriate conversation about feelings? Cullen sighed deeply.

“Cullen,” Beatrix started, staring at the wine in her goblet. “I – um, I –“

Cullen turned to look at her and was lost. She was so beautiful and she was sitting there, so close to him.

“Yes?” his voice came out as a whisper as he looked deeply into her eyes.

“I…” Beatrix drew a blank. She found herself lost in his warm golden gaze, unable to talk at all.

Cullen smiled and took her goblet, setting it and his on the small table next to the love seat.

“You were going to spill it.”

She laughed, leaning into him and he took her in his arms and kissed her. It was all so very natural, Beatrix wasn’t even surprised. Truth be told, she _wanted_ him to kiss her. Very much so.

The kiss was desperate and passionate. Cullen swallowed her moan and in but a few moments, their tongues were dancing against each other. He had one of his hands on her back, the other snaked itself into her hair. He held her as if she was a treasure to him and caressed her ever so gently. Beatrix moaned again, and he deepened the kiss.  

When they came up to breathe, he looked into her eyes and smiled.

“This is so much better than talking,” he said in a low voice. “But I’m curious all the same.”

Beatrix laughed, putting her forehead against his. “I wanted to talk about us, so I think we have a good head start already.”

“I confess I did also,” Cullen commented. “I’ve wanted to tell you how much you mean to me for a while. But I can never find the right words.”

“You’ve managed to really well so far,” she chuckled, taking a deep breath.

“It must be the kiss. It’s magic,” he replied with a smile as he kissed her once again.

This time their kiss was gentle and loving. Both Beatrix and Cullen seemed to put all their feelings into it, finally realizing they were truly together at last. Beatrix sighed when they came up for air.

“You’re such a good kisser,” she said dreamily as she looked at him.

Cullen laughed at this. “Thank you, my lady,” he responded happily.

“Does this mean we’re together?” she asked her sapphire eyes wide and trusting.

“I hope it does,” Cullen replied as he pulled her to him, embracing her. “I’m the kind of person who takes things seriously, in case you haven’t found out yet.”

She laughed at his comment, leaning away from him slightly so she could see his smile. It was a wonderful smile. A smile he should have on his face more often. Beatrix smiled back as her hands nestled themselves on his broad chest, lifting them a few moments later so she could twine them into his short blond hair.

There was a knock on the door, and Beatrix started, pulling away from his embrace. She adjusted her hair, which by now was loose from the bind that kept it up and away from her face, and went down the stairs to open the door.

The same person that Cullen had sent away to Leliana was standing there, his cheeks a bright crimson.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, Inquisitor, but one of the guards said the Commander was with you.”

Cullen appeared at the top of the stairs. He looked angry.

“What do you want?” he practically shouted.

“You wanted this immediately, Ser,” the man replied nervously.

“Then take it back to my office and leave it on my desk,” Cullen growled back at him.

“But, Ser! “

“I said leave it on my desk! That’s an order!”

The poor man didn’t have to be told twice. He spun around and ran down the steps, reaching the door that led to the main hall, which he opened and closed firmly behind him and with great alacrity.

Beatrix shook her head with a smile. But before she could speak to Cullen, he took her hand, guiding her gently up the remaining steps and kissing her again once she reached the top.

He moaned this time, feeling her meld into his embrace, inwardly cursing his armor. She kissed him back with as much passion as she could, feeling slightly light-headed. Eventually, she broke away to breathe, and he stood there, unable to say or do anything but smile at her warmly, his golden eyes now dark with longing. 

“We should sit, maybe,” she said her blush reaching her neck.

“If you wish,” Cullen nodded. “You have something else to discuss, then?”

“No, not really. But I know how busy you are and I can’t resist keeping you here for a little while longer,” Beatrix grinned.

Cullen smiled back as he let her guide him back to the love seat, sitting and putting his arms around her again.

He sighed deeply and kissed her hair before he brought his lips down again on hers, drinking in the scent of vanilla and her own scent, wishing they could stay like this forever. For once, everything that worried or angered him disappeared completely. He was the happiest man in all of Thedas because Beatrix was in his arms.

She was in his arms and she _wanted_ to be in his arms.

And that, in itself, was more than enough for him.

…

The Emerald Graves was green: full of lovely bushes and trees that swayed lazily in the breeze, stunning green moss that crawled up some of the tree trunks, and luscious green grass that sprang back up after you stepped through. It was a place where you wanted to be: green and vibrant, the shadows here and there adding to the overall effect of the beauty of the area.

Turning to Dorian, she smiled, replying to the comment he’d made upon entering the area they were walking through, heading directly towards the forward camp.

“Emerald Graves – the name – is because the elves bury their dead and plant a tree over the graves. The whole area is green, sooooo – “

“I get it, I get it,” Dorian sighed dramatically interrupting her. Right behind them Cassandra was responding to Bull’s flirt and Beatrix grinned.

They reached the forward camp and suddenly Scout Harding was standing before Beatrix, rattling off the information she had on the whole area.

They filled their packs with healing potions and Beatrix added a couple of flasks of bees just in case. Then they were off.

The whole idea was to get to the Emerald Graves, look for the lyrium smugglers and get back out. However, between the stupid Freeman of the Dales which attacked them on sight and the staggering amount of rifts in the area, they were detained well past the time they thought they would be there.

“Ugh!” Beatrix commented as they reached an actual path in all the greenery. “Fucking lyrium smugglers! Where the fuck are you?”

“Let’s go speak to Fairbanks,” Cassandra suggested, getting an eye roll from Beatrix. “We should have done that as soon as we arrived and we _do_ have to see what he wants, do we not?”

…

_My darling Commander,_

_We’re still stuck here, unfortunately.  We did manage to find two groups of smugglers, and I have some information for you. But I’d really like to scout ahead, even further into the Emerald Graves to make sure that there were only two groups._

_We’ve been ambushed so many times by the ‘Freemen of the Dales’ that I’ve lost count. So, we’re in the process of making them disappear forever. The last place we’ve decided to attack is a quiet place built out of wood that looks quaint. Their leader is an idiot who thinks he’s the best. The mother fucker will not know what hit him when Bull cleaves him in two._

_These Freemen were in league with the Red Templars, though. So it’s good to know that we’re doing Thedas a favor by reducing their numbers! Considerably, I may add._

_I miss you terribly. Every night I go to sleep remembering your face and gentle touch. I can hardly believe we’re together at last. Even though I’m extremely happy, I must say I’ve been pining for you and it isn’t fun!_

_Well, we have to go! More fighting awaits! But know that I miss you dearly and when I’m back I’ll fling myself into your waiting arms!_

_Love,_

_Your Beatrix_

Cullen brought the missive to his face. It still smelled a bit of her and he sighed deeply as he caught her scent. He folded it carefully and put it in his pocket, then rubbed his eyes. One of his headaches was starting and it was one of the more aggressive ones.

There had been many nightmares in the time Beatrix had been gone – she _seemed_ to stop the nightmares from happening altogether. He really didn’t want to go to bed, but he’d finished up all the reports and for the first time in weeks – months even, had nothing else to read or write. Sighing deeply, he got to his feet and went up the ladder to his loft, where his bed was.

Undressing quickly, he washed and cleaned his teeth. Since it was cold, he put on a long tunic and some loose breeches. Looking for the letter in his pocket, he quickly retrieved it and took it with him to bed.

His head pounded and he moved on the bed restlessly, looking for the right spot to finally relax. It took several long minutes before his eyes started to close, in spite of the pain in his head and he fell asleep, only to jolt himself awake and sit up in bed as soon as he heard a noise coming from the ladder to his loft. A woman climbed the remaining steps and stood there naked before him until he realized it was a desire demon, who had taken the form of…

“Cullen,” she whispered, her raven hair and sapphire eyes holding his amber ones. “Come to me, Cullen!”

He swallowed taking in Beatrix’s – no that wasn’t her! – figure in, standing from the bed and looking wildly around for his weapon.

“You are not _her_!” He shouted. “Be gone, demon!” His weapon was gone, his armor non-existent. He struggled to close his eyes, to shut out the vision before him, but he could not.

“Now, Cullen! I am deeply hurt,” the demon purred, a few inches away. “What will everyone say when they realize you wanted to attack the Inquisitor? I’m afraid you must be punished.”

He hissed when he felt claws ripping at his shoulder, all the way down to his arm, the face of his Inquisitor now inches away from him. But that was not her! It was not his Beatrix.

“See what you’ve made me do?” the demon pouted. “I feel we have to teach you how to respect your loving Inquisitor.”

“Not her,” he groaned as she clawed at his abdomen, leaving deep slashes, the blood dripping to the floor fast.

He felt the nausea come over him and turned, falling to his knees and vomiting all over the floor. He blinked and turned back, but the demon was gone. He was covered in bile and vomit, but he crawled all the way to his sword and pulled it out from its sheath, holding it before him, his eyes wide and fearful as he stared into the darkness.

It would be dawn before he could finally get up and wash up all over again, praying to the Maker that it was over.

There were no slashes or wounds on his body when he checked so he realized he was, in fact, awake and also totally exhausted.

He finally sighed in relief, the pounding in his head very much diminished, but his hands were shaking uncontrollably as he made his way to bed again. After but a few moments, he fell into a deep, relaxing sleep holding Beatrix’s letter as firmly as he could in his right hand.

…

The loud horns signaled the arrival of the Inquisitor and her Companions. Beatrix urged her horse into a gallop when she heard them.

She rode her horse over the bridge with haste, her companions close behind her. The afternoon sun was already low enough above her, heralding an early evening, and she was feeling elated because she was finally… _home_. Yes, it _was_ home. And a day early, no less. She dismounted and nearly tripped over her feet with happiness, an all-consuming urge to see her Commander at last.

Without really noticing, she handed her horse to one of the stable boys, and rushed to the staircase that was near the stables which led directly to the battlements. She took the steps two at a time, and ran through one of the towers, her heart pounding. The next door was the door to his office.

She knocked and when she didn’t hear his voice asking her to come in, she was a little puzzled. Opening the door, she peered inside. Cullen was at his desk, staring at a box on it, his forehead covered in sweat. He looked up with a frown. His eyes looked so sad, she wanted to cross the room and give him a hug. But the seriousness of his countenance made her stop short, and she closed the door behind her, walking towards the desk with a confused expression on her face.

He straightened and his hands fell on the pommel of his sword, his eyes glued to hers, unable to look away.

After an awkward silence, he cleared his throat.

“As leader of the Inquisition, there’s something I have to tell you. What I have to tell you may also impact you…us. You might decide to end our relationship and I wouldn’t blame you at all if you did.”

Beatrix’s eyes widened and she shook her head. “ _Nothing_ will end this. I certainly _won’t_. And you can tell me anything.”

Cullen’s expression soften a bit, but Beatrix could see he was struggling to say something so she just waited patiently.

“As you well know, we’ve been securing lyrium for the templars here, and for the mages,” Cullen said in a low voice. “But I, I no longer take it…”

“You’ve stopped?!” Beatrix exclaimed her voice an octave higher as she realized the implications. She knew very well what the withdrawals could do to a templar – Andras had shared that information with her a while back.

“I stopped when I left the Order and agreed to Cassandra’s proposal to become the Commander of the Inquisition’s forces. That was months ago.”

“Cullen, this could kill you!” she exclaimed, the worry in her eyes making him lower his own.

“It hasn’t yet.” His voice was but a whisper, his eyes fixed on his desk.

Beatrix shuddered inwardly. This man before her was doing the impossible, had been doing it for months, and she realized all at once that he must be experiencing a great deal of pain, nightmares and even hallucinations. The tears came unbidden as she stood there looking at him.

“Are you alright?” she asked, her voice low and broken.

Cullen looked up quickly, dismayed to see her crying. He walked around the desk and took her in his arms.

“I am,” he said, holding her tightly. “I didn’t – I didn’t mean for you to cry, I’m sorry.”

“I know,” she whispered. Stepping back she looked up into his eyes, the warmth usually there replaced by worry.

“I wanted you to know that Cassandra is watching me closely,” he said, now holding her at arms’ length. “If she sees that I cannot fulfill my promise, that I’m compromising the Inquisition in any way, she will replace me.”

“I will stand beside you in this Cullen,” Beatrix said resolutely. “I’ll try to help you however I can. I respect what you are doing.”

“Thank you, Beatrix, that means a lot to me,” Cullen said. “But I can’t help thinking that maybe you should find someone else. Someone less broken.”

“I don’t need someone else. I need you,” she said simply, her arms holding him even tighter, bringing him close to her again. “And I’ll continue to support you, whatever you decide to do.”

Cullen gave a sigh of relief, and Beatrix felt his lips on the crown of her head as he kissed her gently. She stepped back a little, but still held him close. Sighing, she wiped her tears away. 

“Welcome home,” he whispered, lifting her chin and claiming her lips lovingly.

…

Cullen watched as she left the office after putting the letters she’d found in the Emerald Graves on his desk. He smiled, then his expression darkened and he shook his head. Even though he was happy she had supported his decision, he knew he had left out what had happened to him in Kinloch Hold. He had to tell her – he wanted to, but he didn’t know how – didn’t even know if he had the strength to explain the horrors he had been through.

Sighing, he focused on the letters. One of the scouts who served as a messenger of sorts walked up to his desk. He quickly wrote something off to Leliana, and handed his missive and the letters to the young man, confident that her spies would end up finding the Red Lyrium mine he so desperately wanted destroyed. After this he left his office, heading for the mess hall for dinner. Another messenger interrupted him along the way, handing him a missive from Beatrix, which invited him to partake of the meal in her quarters in half an hour.

Smiling, he pocketed the message and nodded to the messenger, turning to head back to his office and wash up.

This time, he would not be wearing his blasted armor.

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, this is the end of the chapter! Why do cliffhangers have to be sad, violent, or evil anyway? Hehehe!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few more revelations! The party never ends! LOL!   
> Hope you enjoy this chapter! I’m really happy to see more people giving this fic kudos! Thank you all so much!   
> Kudos to my lovely beta LadyDarksbane as well! She is a gem and I will never stop thanking her for all her help!  
> As always, feedback is totally welcome! I’d love to know what you think!   
> ...

…

After Beatrix’s initial shock over seeing Cullen without his armor on and dressed in leather breeches and a white tunic that did nothing to hide his amazing broad shoulders or muscled biceps at all, she simply threw herself at him. Then she was kissing him with such a passion that Cullen moaned into her mouth and ground himself against her.

She separated at this, looking up at him, a bright red blush tinging her cheeks.

“You’re adorable,” Cullen whispered, his smirk making her knees turn to jelly.

“Please sit,” she gestured at the sofa. The room smelled of dinner – goat chops and roasted potatoes, freshly-made bread…Cullen’s stomach growled and Beatrix laughed as she uncovered the meal, served in two huge plates.

They started eating almost immediately, but he didn’t take his eyes off her and Beatrix had a pink tinge to her cheeks embarrassed at what she must tell him. She picked at her food, her hunger suddenly disappearing.

What if he found her unattractive after she told him? What if he chose to end it?

“Is something wrong, Beatrix?” Cullen asked as he drank his wine, his eyes fixed on her face.

“I – I’m fine,” Beatrix sighed, warring with herself, her shyness making her angry.

“I can tell you aren’t telling me something,” Cullen said seriously but in a soft voice. “I won’t press you any further.”

“Ugh!” Beatrix suddenly said, flinging her fork and knife on the plate. They clattered and were instantly silent, almost as if they were afraid of augmenting her ire with the noise they made. “This fucking thought that I…”

Cullen had stopped eating and looked at her alarmed and she bristled at him instantly, her rage escalating at an increasing rate, until it was too much to handle.

She exploded.

“I’m a fucking virgin!” she screamed. “I’ve never done it before! Satisfied?”

Cullen, who was about to finish his meal, stopped midway, his fork inches away from his face, looking at her with wide eyes – unable to make a sound.

Beatrix got up, and started pacing the room, glaring at him every time she passed by, her anger rolling off her in waves.

“I’m scared shitless! And I don’t _want_ to be scared!” she continued to yell, finally coming to a halt and faced him, clenching and unclenching her fists. “So, _fuck you_ if you decide to leave me!”

Gently and slowly, Cullen put down his fork. He stood up, and walked to stand directly in front of her, mere inches away.

“Beatrix,” he began, his warm golden gaze staring deeply into her eyes. “It’s alright. I – “

“No!” Beatrix said, taking several steps away. “It is _NOT_ alright! What if this is unattractive to you? What if you –“ her breathing hitched, and Cullen shook his head and again took several steps, reaching out for her.

Beatrix shut her eyes, melding herself into his embrace, her head resting on the top of his chest – right below his neck.

“I’m sorry,” she said contritely, taking a big breath and releasing it. “I – I’m just so fucking unsure and afraid I’ll do something wrong and you’ll leave me.”

Cullen chuckled at this, lifting her chin so her eyes met his.

“I’m _not_ going to leave you,” he said in a soft, but firm voice, looking at her tenderly. “We’ll take it slowly. And I’m _not_ going to push you into anything. I’ll gladly wait until you’re ready.”

“You aren’t disappointed?” Beatrix asked, her eyes wide.

“No, I’m not,” Cullen said, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiled at her. “How can I be disappointed when we’re together? When you – _you_ have accepted _me_ into your life. I – I _do_ have something to talk to you about, though. Something you _must_ know. And I hope you’re still by my side after I do.” His hand caressed her face, taking a lock of her hair and tucking it behind her ear.

“It’s Kinloch, right?” Beatrix whispered, her eyes worried and sad.

Cullen’s eyes darkened. He nodded and stepped away.

“How did you – “ Cullen began, but Beatrix reached out and put a finger on his lips, stopping him from saying anything else.

“Your expression changed whenever you mentioned Kinloch, or the Blight, back at Haven. I understood it was something I couldn’t bring up – something that you hated telling me,” Beatrix nearly whispered as she looked into his eyes.

“Maker’s Breath,” Cullen said, taking another deep breath. “Was I that transparent to you?”

“Not completely,” Beatrix replied quickly with a smile. “I just tend to be very good at reading expressions. They were very brief. But I knew all the same that it was something terrible.”

Cullen shook his head, sighing. “I – I became a terrible man afterward. My life – changed. _I_ changed.”

“Do you…want to talk about it?” Beatrix asked, faltering slightly.

Cullen looked at her, his expression briefly unreadable to her. He nodded once and gestured to the love seat.

“I – I think we’d better sit down for this.”

…

Varric introduced Hawke on the battlements, just a few towers away from Cullen’s tower. They exchanged witty one-liners and Beatrix had to keep herself from flirting several times. He was dashing and roguishly handsome, which was one way to describe the former Champion of Kirkwall’s good looks.

He was, however, all proper under that disarming smile and did not flirt with her once.

Beatrix reminded herself that there was a huge reason for his seemingly cold demeanor when she asked about Anders. He had executed Anders, right then and there immediately after the Chantry exploded. Beatrix could see he was still haunted by it, even though he affirmed several times that he had done the right thing.

“It was largely Justice at the end, Inquisitor. Anders was hardly there. And the times he was, he was pleading for death as well. He couldn’t take it anymore.” Even though Hawke was standing straight and his arms were crossed over his chest, his voice calm and clear, Beatrix knew that he was still suffering.

She also knew that he would never recover.

…

Crestwood was madness in the form of undead and demons that would not stop coming to attack the poor villagers. Beatrix was the angriest anyone in her team had ever seen her. She screamed all the curses she knew and invented quite a few as well. 

It was apparent that the move to bring as many of her companions as she could had been a good one, because the demons and undead had seemed endless and Beatrix knew very well they would be fighting a lot more before the problem was solved.

They needed to drain the waters to get to the damned rift in the center of the lake that was causing the undead to attack the village. The mayor was nervous as he explained that the dam controls to empty the waters of the lake were no longer existent, because the darkspawn that had attacked the refugees and villagers had crushed it.

Beatrix narrowed her eyes and insisted she would take care of the bandits in the keep and hurried off to kill them all. She didn’t stop until they crossed a bridge, which was really the top of the dam, and reached a tavern where a couple was in the throes of passion.

“Oh, for the Maker’s sake! The last thing I needed was to run across this! Get a room already!” Beatrix yelled, scaring the young couple for life. She continued to grumble as Solas successfully hid a smile and Varric laughed outright. Cassandra pursed her lips and shook her head, but Varric could see she was trying hard not to laugh. He didn’t say a word, however: The spat they had had over Hawke appearing suddenly in Skyhold when he had assured the Seeker that he didn’t know Hawke’s whereabouts, was still too fresh in his mind.  The Iron Bull simply boomed out his laughter, while Dorian chuckled at the whole thing, shaking his head and saying something that sounded like ‘how _quaint_ the Southerners were”.

As soon as they reached the room where the controls were, Beatrix stopped as she walked inside, her mouth slightly open as she stared in amazement at the perfectly fine waterwheel, alive and well.

“What the fuck is all the shit the mayor told us?” she asked no one in particular.

“Perhaps only the mayor can answer your question,” Solas said, his voice sounding far too amused – something Beatrix had never heard coming from the serious mage before.

Cole suddenly appeared out of the thin air and scared her half to death. Cursing loudly she turned to face the blond-haired boy with the large hat.

“Cole!!! I keep telling you to _stop_ doing that!” she gritted her teeth together as Cole looked at her sadly.

Beatrix groaned inwardly. She liked the boy-spirit and hated to make him sad.

“I’m sorry,” he began, but she held up her hand.

“No, Cole, _I’m_ sorry. You have no need to apologize. I just get really upset when someone lies to me,” Beatrix clenched her fists and unclenched them quickly.

“Guilt in this form, impossible to forget. Why must they drain the lake? Foolish to lie to them.”

Beatrix said not another word, her face red and the anger in her eyes evident as she turned around, marching out of the tavern, leading her entire team back to the keep. A dragon flew overhead and she yelled at it.

“Of course! _Of course_! There _has_ to be a dragon in this Maker-forsaken place! Fucking Crestwood! And why doesn’t it ever stop raining? I fucking _hate_ all this rain!”

“Boss are we fighting her? _Please_ tell me we’re fighting her!” Bull asked excitedly as he caught up with Beatrix.

“Yes, Bull. I think we are,” Beatrix replied angrily. “But I have to kill the fucking mayor first!”

“And close the offending rift,” Solas calmly said as he walked beside her on her left side, his eyes twinkling with mirth.

…

_My darling Commander,_

_Crestwood is awful. There was a fucking rift in the middle of a lake and the demons and undead were coming from there. We managed to close the rift and help the people, but we still have a lot of work to do._

_There are red templars here, and areas where the red lyrium is growing at an alarming rate. I also have to kill some wyverns that are bothering the people with their nightly walks around the area. As if that wasn’t enough, there’s a fucking dragon which has begun to attack the people. It fucking has to go, so we’re going to help it go – right into the Animal Fade or wherever dead animals go._

_Aside from that, it’s just peachy. I met the warden and he is a former templar, who was stationed at the Kinloch Tower, but for a very short time. Perhaps you know him? His name is Alistair._

_Warden Alistair told us that the Warden-Commander, a woman named Clarel, had made a deal with a stupid Tevinter mage and that they were up to no good. He said that the stupid Tevinter mage had Clarel hypnotized. She’d spoken to everyone about a ritual to go into the Deep Roads._

_After I wondered out loud if the wardens had lost their minds, Alistair was quick to explain a reason of sorts. Apparently all the wardens under her command are hearing ‘The Calling’ – whatever the fuck that entails. As a result, they want to stop the Blight and in order to do this they have to breach the Deep Roads to find the Old Gods directly and kill them._

_Yeah, it doesn’t make sense at all – it’s worse now that I see it written. In my opinion, the wardens have finally lost it._

_So there is a lot of work as you can see._

_I’ll probably continue to clean up Crestwood._

_There’s a lot of cleaning up to do._

_In the meantime, Hawke and Alistair will be heading towards the fucking Western Approach, which is where the wardens all are. Tell Leliana that she was right. I wish I was there for her ‘I told you so’ look._

_I miss you terribly, my darling. In your arms everything is wonderful and all the bad things disappear as if by magic. I keep remembering your kisses – your gentle touch._

_Keep away from the damn lyrium and please remember that you are always in my heart as I hope I am in yours._

_I can’t wait to be back, safely in your arms._

_Your,_

_Beatrix_

…

Cullen groaned and rubbed his hands across his face as he looked at Leliana first and then Josephine. The Spymaster had just finished reading the missive Beatrix sent her and the Ambassador out loud, which was exactly like the one Cullen had in his breast pocket, except for the romantic parts.

“She’s probably killed it already, Commander,” Leliana supplied helpfully a wide smile on her face as she watched him snap his head in her direction. He scowled and then sighed immediately afterwards.

“And I’ll probably hear an ‘I told you so’ coming from you as well?” he remarked dryly, his head now turned to the huge map in front of them, his cheeks tinged with pink.

“Nonsense, Commander,” Leliana’s voice reached him. It was pleasant, but he swore he could hear a smirk in there. “Do not worry about the Inquisitor. She’s taken almost all her companions with her and I’ve sent my best scouts to the keep. There are also some soldiers there that can help her out.”

“She shouldn’t be risking her life like this!” Cullen said angrily, his eyes flashing as he regarded Leliana whose smile had now turned into a wide, wolfish grin.

Josephine, who had been silent through all this, suddenly saw an opportune time to speak.

“You both look _adorable_ together, did you know that?” the Antivan had stopped writing and even though her quill was in the air, it was poised in her hand like a bird ready to dive down to the parchment on the clipboard.

Cullen clenched his jaw, his eyes closing briefly as he struggled to get a grip. When he spoke his voice sounded calm, but what he said sent Leliana and Josephine into bursts of giggles and laughter.

“I don’t have the slightest idea what you’re talking about Ambassador. There’s a lot of work waiting for me…um…at my office.”

He waited for the laughter to stop, glaring at them both.

“Is there anything else?” he said through clenched teeth, his hands grasping the pommel of his sword tightly.

Leliana started laughing again in reply, followed by Josephine’s giggles.

Cullen scowled as he turned, then reached the door and opened it, slamming it behind him.

And even though the doors were built of solid oak wood, he could _still_ hear their damn laughter following him as he walked away.

…

Beatrix clenched and unclenched her fists as she regarded Livius Erimond. He had been prattling on about all the things they would do – meaning he now had the warden mages under his control. Once he explained his plan and talked proudly about it, she felt like she would scream if she didn’t hit something fast.

“So you’re not only a Tevinter magister but a dickhead as well?” she interrupted his endless chattering, in spite of the fact that a dozen mages under his control were each accompanied by a demon. “You stupid, mother-fucking _twit_.”

Alistair blinked at her, his eyes wide with surprise. He didn’t know her well, but he was starting to.

Erimond narrowed his eyes at her and they flashed angrily.

Beatrix smiled.

“You have _NO_ need to use that language, Inquisitor,” he said angrily. “My Master prepared me for you, if you came poking your stupid inquisitive little nose into our business.”

“Ah, yes,” Beatrix now cackled. “Your business of raising a demon army. I became quite acquainted with the whole idea in Redcliffe. It’s fucking _terrible_ , if you ask me.”

Erimond’s face was so red now, it was purple. “You little _bitch_!” he murmured, flinging his hand out, a reddish hue rushing forward and hitting Beatrix squarely in the chest, making her kneel and cry out in pain. “You see, my Master can overcome you easily. We will make sure that you and your pitiful Inquisition are crushed and my Master will – “

Beatrix felt her mark reacting as she gasped for air, then slowly straightened, her left hand raised. A single green beam shot forward, hitting Erimond with such a force, he toppled over and fell to the ground, breathing heavily.

“You will be arrested and put on trial, you fucking twit!” she practically screamed at him. “Release the wardens now before I kill you!”

Erimond rose swiftly to his feet, and before anyone could react, hobbled away through a back door of the ritual chamber, giving the mages a final order:

“Kill them!”

The battle was abrupt and chilling, as the demons lunged forward and the mages cast their spells. Beatrix blended into the shadows, reappearing and disappearing as she always did, her daggers quick and merciless as she slashed the enemy.

Since they had left Bull, Dorian and Cole behind in Crestwood so they could take care of the dragon along with a number of scouts and soldiers, they were vastly outnumbered as the wardens summoned forth even more demons. Cassandra was trying to keep her shield out to protect her, but Beatrix’s disappearing act was doing more harm than good. Varric fired bolt after bolt, trying hard not to inadvertently hit Hawke, who was standing directly in front of him, casting spell after spell. As for Alistair, he was doing a fantastic job on his own, and had already felled two mages.

Beatrix buried her daggers in the back of a rage demon, saving Cassandra’s life and the Seeker turned, only to yell at Beatrix to watch out, her eyes wide open in alarm.

It was too late for Beatrix to turn and stop the attack, and the shade behind her sank its claws deeply into her back. Beatrix’s eyes widened slightly in surprise, then then she went down.

Cassandra cursed and rushed to her, but one of the demons stood directly in front of her. Solas eliminated it with ease and killed two more mages while he was at it, the flames burning them to a crisp. They reached the end of the battle after a long while, totally exhausted. Even so, they all huddled closely as they formed a circle around Beatrix, who didn’t move at all. There was a lot of blood on the ground under and around her.

Too much blood.  

“We’ll go see where Erimond went,” Alistair supplied quickly, gesturing to Hawke who nodded at him. “There’s an abandoned Warden fortress – Adamant. I’m betting he headed over there. It must be where the rest of the wardens are.”

“We’ll take the Inquisitor back to Skyhold then,” Cassandra said, looking as Solas who was now kneeling before her.

“I can heal her injuries,” Solas announced, “but she has lost a lot of blood. She will need rest and time to recuperate.”

They all cast worried looks at each other, wishing things had not ended so badly. Hawke and Alistair nodded and walked off towards the general direction of Adamant, and Solas cast a spell to lift the Inquisitor and carry her in his arms, while Varric helped as well. They walked to their horses and got ready for their journey back to Skyhold.

…

The horns signaling the arrival of the Inquisitor and her team took Cullen by surprise. He left the tower and hurried to the battlements, catching the party climbing towards the outer gates. His eyes blinked twice.

As they came closer, he noticed that one of the horses didn’t have a rider on it, and was being led by one of Leliana’s scouts, who had probably met them at the outer gates. He could see three horses, but he couldn’t see Beatrix, and the horse the scout was leading looked like her favorite horse. His heart started thumping when he saw Cassandra carrying someone on her horse.

Breaking into a run, he scrambled down the stairs, two at a time, his chest heaving heavily when he arrived at the front gate. He then ran across the bridge and met them halfway.

“Cullen, we need to get her to her room, and a healer to look at her,” Cassandra said, her voice breaking with worry.

He nodded as he took her in his arms. She looked as white as sheet and was covered in sweat – cold sweat as he discovered when he brushed her hair away from her face.

“What…happened?” he asked in a broken voice.

“A shade attacked her. You will have my full report immediately, Cullen,” Cassandra replied.

Cullen turned and carried her gently in his arms, the fear squeezing his heart and making it even harder to breathe. He quickly walked back the way he came, climbing up the stairs to his tower, where he could easily access the main hall without running into all the people that filled the courtyard at this time of the day.  

He quickly stopped a scout along the way to the door to her quarters, aware of the nobles who had begun to whisper as soon as they saw who he was carrying. He asked the young man to get a healer, as well as the elven aide who regularly attended Beatrix. Suppressing a troubled sigh, he ordered one of the guards to open the door to her chamber and carried her gently all the way up the stairs, finally arriving to the door that opened into her quarters. The guard stationed there opened it quickly for him and closed it after he stepped inside.

He crossed the room, lying her on the bed carefully, his eyes brimming with unshed tears as he took in how dreadfully still she was.

Crossing the room he quickly had a roaring fire burning in the fireplace. There was a knock on the door and the healer and the Inquisitor’s personal aide rushed inside.

“Commander if you will?” the healer said patiently, as she addressed Cullen, who was standing there, trying to keep the tears from falling. “I need to be alone with my patient. We’ll bathe her and put her into comfortable clothes, Ser.”

“Of – of course,” he muttered, turning and leaving the room. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and leaned against the wall, the tears suddenly falling from his eyes quickly. He could say that he was very fond of her. Or that he adored her, but as he waited for the healer to appear, he knew for sure that none of this was true.

The fact of the matter was that he was deeply in love with Beatrix. So in love with her in fact, that no matter what his brain told him – that she would be fine, that the worse had been stopped, that she was safe – fear _still_ gripped his heart and left him feeling defeated and angry at the same time.

He swore to himself then and there that he personally would try to accompany her on her missions.

He would never leave her alone in the face of danger again. Not while he drew breath.

…

Cullen received Cassandra’s report while he was waiting on news from Beatrix’s chamber. He shook uncontrollably when he was done reading, and forced himself to pace as he waited.

He was relieved when he finally heard from the healer herself that she would be fine. He made it a point to thank Solas, for the elven mage had certainly saved her life.

Stepping inside the room, he approached her huge bed, as the aide smiled briefly at him, inclining her head. He gave her a small smile back, and sat right beside Beatrix, his shaking hand once again brushing away an errant lock that had drifted to the front of her face.

Since he knew he wouldn’t move from her side, he turned towards the elven girl asking her if she could have someone bring the work he had left on his desk. The young woman nodded and curtseyed, leaving the room immediately. Cullen then saw Leliana and the Ambassador’s worried faces as they approached the bed.

He was surprised to see Leliana bending over her and pressing a kiss on the crown of her head. The Spymaster straightened and took a step back, knowing full well that Cullen had a lot of questions to ask. Just before he spoke, however, she started speaking and he listened, his eyes fixed on her face.

“Lena Mahariel, who died when she killed the Archdemon was close to my heart. She didn’t pursue a romantic relationship with me though. Zevran, an ex-Crow who traveled with us, had already bewitched her. I was happy for her even so,” Leliana said softly, pausing for a while, her eyes staring directly ahead at something she could only see as she relived the past. Josephine stepped closer to her, a hand pressed on her back, trying to comfort her.

“Lena had a terrible temper,” Leliana chuckled, the mirth unsurprisingly missing from her laughter. “She would swear in Elvish and in the common tongue almost constantly. She often got into trouble because of the language she used. I even learned a lot of Elvish swear words from her.”

She paused for a moment, sighing briefly. “Lena always spoke her mind. She often blurted things out without thinking. I had to learn how to control myself from bursting out laughing as she often did this in the most serious situations.”

The Spymaster swallowed thickly and willed herself to keep the tears from falling.

“I miss her to this very day,” she said, her voice almost a whisper. “Beatrix Trevelyan reminds me so much of her.”

Cullen let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding back as Leliana turned to look at him. They both said what they had to say with their eyes.

“I’m glad you two are together, Cullen,” Leliana finally spoke, her voice cold and distant, even though her eyes shone with warmth and happiness. “You will make her the happiest woman in Thedas.”

She squeezed his arm and turned to Josie, who put her arms around her, hugging her before they both turned to leave.

When they were gone, Cullen turned back to Beatrix, who was breathing evenly. There was more color in her cheeks, even though she was still too pale for comfort.

Sighing to himself, he took her hand and prayed to the Maker for her speedy recovery.

Because praying to the Maker was what he always did – his faith leading him onwards, crushing the fear and conquering the doubts that lay before him.

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is why Leliana behaves differently towards Beatrix, Flaminea. :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a small part in this chapter that is a bit NSFW, but yeah, not much. However, it is rather spicy, so fair warning! :P 
> 
> Thanks so much for all your lovely comments and feedback! For the kudos and all the bookmarks and subscriptions! You guys are awesome!  
> Once again I want to thank my lovely beta, LadyDarksbane. Please take a look at her two fics, one of them where she has graciously listed me as co-author. They are really fantastic and I guarantee you will not be disappointed! 
> 
> As always, your feedback is important to me, so I appreciate each and every comment on this chapter! I’m dying to know what you all think! :D

…  


_I didn’t know where I was, but the place was amazing. Lovely trees, branches blowing in the wind, and a beautiful lake in the distance with a stream directly in front of me that led to the lake. Birds were singing, butterflies were flying around and the sky was an impossibly breathtaking blue color, not a cloud in sight. I walked towards the stream and it didn’t feel like I was walking at all. It felt like I was gliding._

_The grass was luscious, velvety soft and a deep green hue I had never seen.  I sank to my knees, touching the grass and watching it spring back where I put my hands and took them away. I was mesmerized._

_At that very moment, I lifted my gaze and saw a great black wolf looking at me across the stream. I was startled and felt like getting up and running away in the opposite direction, but my whole body seemed to be paralyzed. The beast paced back and forth, never taking its eyes off me. After a few moments it sat on its haunches, just staring at me intently._

_It had beautiful eyes that looked blue from where I sat. They were very bright._

_I felt myself relaxing, even though I very much wanted to stand and move away, I could not. The wolf started to pant, its great tongue hanging out as it continued to watch, observing my every move. Even though I felt the desire to run, I instinctively knew it wouldn’t harm me. It couldn’t cross the stream and I was safe._

_But was I safe? I tried to focus on something – something that was important and that I had forgotten. I had known how to be safe somewhere else, but could not remember how or where._

_A low voice behind me made me start._

_“Inquisitor.”_

_I turned expecting to see a man, but it was a woman. She was dressed all in white and was beautiful. Her eyes were not blue as I expected them to be. They were a bright yellow, as yellow as the sun that shone in the sky. She stood there smiling and I stared, taking in as many details as I could, as if I wanted to memorize how she looked. I didn’t know why it was important that I should remember her. The woman said nothing else and a breeze suddenly made the leaves in the tree branches rustle. Very briefly I turned my head. Leaves were falling. They were bright yellow. I turned back to look at the woman and blinked._

_She was gone._

_When I turned to look at the wolf across the stream, it was gone as well._

_“Beatrix,” a man called. “Beatrix come back to me, please!”_

_I knew that voice._

_If I could only remember who it was!_

_I looked around wildly, but there was no one there. The sun continued to shine and I lifted my face to it, basking in the warm heat for a time._

_There were no troubles here; nothing bad around me, no great wolf, no lady in white. Nothing but myself._

_Nothing but peace._

_I suddenly felt very carefree and rejoiced at my total freedom. But when I opened my eyes and sat back up, I saw the great wolf again. It was not on the other side of the stream. It was approaching me at a slow pace. Careful and slow, without a making a sound, it padded towards me – its eyes never leaving mine._

_I felt a jolt of fear hold me in place, and I was once again paralyzed and could not move. And suddenly, very suddenly, I heard a voice whisper urgently in my ear._

_“Wake up!”_

_…_

Beatrix opened her eyes wide, feeling a weight on her arm. When she looked down, she could see Cullen’s head on it. He had fallen asleep on her arm and was snoring softly.

She smiled as she watched him. Still golden even in the moonlight, streaks of silver light and darkness on his face and arms. He looked so young…much younger than when he was awake. She didn’t want to disturb his rest, but her whole arm had fallen asleep and she had to move.

He stirred when she tried to move her hand, and soon enough opened his eyes, confused at first at what he was seeing. Then he jolted up, faster than she’d ever seen him move, but soon after she saw a brief glint of realization in his eyes and he gave a deep sigh of relief. 

“Maker! Beatrix!” he rasped out, before gathering her up in his arms, holding her to his chest as closely as he could. He wasn’t wearing his breastplate and she was grateful for it. She felt him tremble and her grip tightened, as if wanting to reassure him that she was fully awake and unharmed.

“Cullen,” she croaked, feeling incredibly thirsty. “How long?”

“Three days,” he whispered, pulling himself away slowly – reluctance etched into every movement he made.

“No wonder I’m so parched,” she replied, trying to lick her lips and bring some moisture to them.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” came his reply as he shot up from the chair he had been sitting on, pieces of parchments and what looked like reports fluttering to the floor. He appeared not to notice and Beatrix followed his movements to the fireplace first where he stoked the fire, adding another heavy log to it so that the room got warmer. Then he walked to the desk and filled one of the tumblers there with water from a large pitcher, turned and walked back to her, finally handing out the glass gently for her to drink.

Beatrix looked gratefully up at him and smiled briefly before drinking some of the water.

“Just a little bit at a time,” he said tenderly, then took the glass away from her lips. She protested, but he ignored her protests with a smile. Setting the glass down carefully on the floor, he proceeded to pick up the parchments and did not sit back down until he had gathered them all up and placed them on a small table next to the bed. Then, he picked up the glass of water again and allowed her to take a few more sips.

Beatrix smiled as she drank, her eyes now taking in Cullen’s clean-shaven appearance. For the first time since their first encounter in Haven, Cullen didn’t have a single hair on his face.

“What happened to your stubble?”

Cullen’s hand immediately shot to his face and she saw a light blush spreading along his cheeks before he replied. She stopped herself from smiling, but then shook her head and chuckled, unable to contain herself.

“Oh, I can – um – shave a little better here without so many interruptions,” he replied a smile on his lips once he was done talking.

“You stayed here for _three days_?” she asked, barely conscious of her eyes widening slightly.

Cullen’s hand automatically flew to the back of his neck, rubbing it vigorously before replying. She smiled again. Even though they were already in a relationship of sorts, she still loved the way he got so flustered when he talked to her.

It was very endearing, to say the least.

“Um, I brought my work here. But I was really worried about you and wasn’t able to do much. Solas has been here to see you every day. He didn’t understand why you hadn’t woken up yet. Physically, you were healed and everything was fine. I was really desperate tonight, before I fell asleep. I called out for you, begging you to return…”

Beatrix frowned slightly as she remembered her dream. The voice calling out to her! Now she knew it was Cullen. How could she not have recognized his voice in the Fade? Very briefly she remembered the wolf and the lady in white. What did they want? Why were they there? She didn’t even know them, did she?

“Beatrix?” Cullen’s voice broke through her reverie. “Are you alright?”

The worry in his eyes prompted her to throw her arms around him.

“I’m sorry! It’s just that I had this weird dream. I heard you calling out to me, I think,” she paused, leaning back so she could look at him.

“Well, if it helped you to come back, then I’m glad,” he murmured, his smile disappearing as soon as his lips touched hers.

The kiss was gentle, but there was love and longing in it. Beatrix opened her lips slightly, deepening the kiss. Cullen moaned before complying and she leaned forward, moving so she was straddling his lap.

Cullen broke the kiss off, staring deeply into her eyes. His eyes were dark with desire and longing, and he was breathing heavily.

“I may not be able to control myself,” he said with difficulty.

“Maybe I don’t _want_ you to control herself,” she whispered back.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked her in a husky voice.

“I could have died Cullen. You could die tomorrow. We both could die. We’re living in such dangerous times!” Beatrix began, but he kissed her again, interrupting her words.

Beatrix felt like she would burst if he carried on, his hands now seemingly everywhere at once, caressing her gently. She felt her breath quicken, and she dug her fingers into his hair, raking over his scalp. There was desperation in the gesture, making Cullen growl as he kissed her back with equal intensity. One of his hands found her breast over her tunic, and he squeezed gently, tweaking her nipple immediately afterwards. She mewled at his touch, unable to break away. She was panting as she looked deeply into his eyes, her desire fueled even more by the passionate look on his face.  

“Are you ready for this? Are you sure?” Cullen asked again in a husky voice, the kind of voice that made her knees go weak, that made her desire his touch very badly. His eyes were holding hers intently. His hands – oh Maker his hands! Beatrix arched up as both his hands touched her breasts now, over her tunic.

“I am, please, Cullen!” she managed, her whole body yearning for his.

She had never felt this way before, and she was both in awe and lit up by pure passion, her gasps and low moans eliciting hums of appreciation from him as he kissed her cheek, then her neck: His tongue laving gently over the small nips he bestowed upon her neck, making her mewl each time. His hands slowly traveled to her hips, pressing them with an urgency that made her gasp with pleasure, grinding her to him.

And then, she felt his arousal, hard and thick, pressing into her very core. Even though Cullen still had his breeches on, she could distinctly feel it and she paused, breaking away from his kisses and leaning away slightly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked immediately, the concern in his voice making her almost kiss him again.

Almost.

She felt herself blush and shook her head, giving him a shy smile.

The smile he gave her was enough to make her melt, but she still felt shy as she looked at him under her lashes. 

“I told you, love,” he said then, his finger and thumb lifting her chin gently so her eyes met his. His golden gaze fixed on her sapphire ones. “We can go slowly. We won’t do anything you don’t want to do.”

Her breath hitched.

“What did you just say?”

He had called her ‘love’. The thrill and joy she was feeling at this moment was nothing she had ever felt before. She blinked back the tears of happiness and waited for his reply.

“I said we can go slowly – “

“Before that!” she interrupted, a myriad of feelings making her want to get up and dance around the room wildly.

“Oh,” Cullen smirked, his eyes gentle and loving. “I called you ‘love’.”

Beatrix was glad she was kneeling, but felt her knees turn to jelly all the same. She melted. Nobody had ever called her that before.

Whatever happened after this, it didn’t matter. She would always remember the first time her Commander called her ‘love’.

“Did you mean it?” she asked in a soft voice, her eyes now looking down, too shy or frightened to see what was in his eyes.

But Cullen once again lifted her chin, so that his eyes met hers.

“Yes,” he almost whispered. “I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it. I love you Beatrix Anna Trevelyan. With my whole heart and soul. I swear to you that I will always be here to protect you from the Fade itself if necessary. You are the most wonderful woman I have ever known. The Maker has truly blessed me.”

And Beatrix Anna Trevelyan felt the tears start to fall as she fell into his open arms and held him close, a prayer of thanks on her lips and a song of true happiness in her heart.

…

Cullen held her close, stroking her soft, silky hair and he made a conscious decision. He would take his dear time for her no matter what his body wanted. She was special and he wanted to make her feel special. At the moment, she was still vulnerable and had only just woken from three days of what, he didn’t know. All he knew was that he would not take advantage of her current vulnerability.

“I think I should go downstairs to the kitchens to get you something to eat?” Cullen said in a whisper as he held her.

Beatrix’s stomach gave a growl at his suggestion and Cullen grinned and chuckled.  

“Don’t take too long!” she asked.

“Never,” he replied, bending down to kiss her again, very gently this time.

He stood up as soon as he could and went down the stairs heading towards the kitchens. There was, of course, no one around. He only met the guards doing their nightly shift. It was, however, close to dawn.

And as soon as he arrived at the kitchens, the smell of freshly baked bread reached him and his mouth watered.

The cook eyed him with a scowl on her face, but he knew that she had a soft spot both for him and the Inquisitor.

“Mistress Natinia, I hope you fare well?” Cullen said, bowing before her.

Instantly, the cook giggled and nodded, a blush settling on her rosy cheeks.

“Ye donna have to use that tone with me,” she responded. “Yer hungry, take what you want and be done with it!”

“I need two today,” Cullen hurried to say, a question on his face and in his eyes.

The cook’s blue eyes widened slightly, blurting out her next words. “Two? Whateva for?”

“Um…” Cullen began, not wishing to give the impression that he was with the Inquisitor or – Maker forbid – that he had spent the night in the Inquisitor’s quarters.

“Ack, go on! Take what yer need,” the cook scolded.

Cullen let out a sigh of relief and got two lovely freshly baked rolls, some sweet jam and butter, eggs and pieces of bacon. Then turned to get a pitcher of hot water and some tea. He carefully placed everything on a large tray, then bowed before the cook once again, thanking her for her kindness. Balancing the tray in his hands, he turned to leave and headed towards the door.

“And say ‘ello to the Inquisitor,” the cook called gaily behind him.

Miraculously, Cullen did not drop the tray he was holding, but he did feel his blush extending well past his neckline. He pursed his lips and clutched the tray, leaving the kitchens behind, the cook’s hearty laughter following him all the way to the main hall.

…

Hawke and Alistair arrived from the Western Approach three days later. By then, Beatrix was waiting anxiously for news, and was totally bored of being in Skyhold with hardly anything to do except hack the training dummies to pieces.

She rushed towards them, but stopped short when she saw how exhausted both of them looked.

“Inquisitor,” Hawke gave her a small smile. Alistair raised his hand in greeting, but didn’t speak. The bags under their eyes spoke volumes for her and she nodded to each of them, dimpling a wide smile.

“We’ll hold a meeting tomorrow early in the morning, so you can let everyone know what you found,” she said, hoping she conveyed her thanks in the look she was giving them both.

“And here I thought I would drop dead from exhaustion in the ‘meeting room’ Hawke was so eagerly telling me about,” Alistair quipped. “A pity.”

“I shan’t keep you from hot baths and sleep,” Beatrix chuckled, “even though I’m anxious to know what you’ve found.”

“Thank the Maker for that,” Hawke muttered as he made his way towards the stairs that led to the tower his tired feet would take him to. Alistair followed closely behind, having been assigned to the same quarters, two beds - one on each floor of the leftmost tower in the keep.

Beatrix sighed as she watched them go. She was still bored, but that changed once she turned back to where the dummies were. It was then that she noticed with dismay and a little trepidation that there were no dummies left.

Cassandra was going to kill her.

…

The meeting room was now nearly filled to capacity, Beatrix and all her companions as well as her advisors, waiting for Hawke and Alistair to fill them in with the latest news from the Approach. 

The two men, at present, were in a match of sorts that had Beatrix rolling her eyes, and Varric snickering loudly behind her

“You go first!” Alistair hissed again.

“No!” Hawke nearly shouted, then dropping his voice to a whisper. “I’m telling you, it’s YOU that has to go first! You’re the warden not I!”

This went on for a few more minutes until Cullen cleared his throat loudly. Both men stopped and turned to look at the Commander, who was holding tightly onto the pommel of his sword, his angry glare making them both take a step back.

The result to all this was a bit of an accident, for when Alistair stepped back, he unknowingly and very unwillingly stepped on Sera’s foot.

“Shite!” came the yell from the potty-mouthed rogue, scaring Alistair half to death and making him start apologizing to her over and over again as she continued to swear, jumping up and down on her other foot. “Those. Boots. Steel, yeah?” Sera said with every jump, the rest of her companions shushing her one way or another. Cassandra turned an angry glare at her and the elf stuck her tongue out at the Seeker. The whole room erupted into giggles and laughter, except for Cassandra, Cullen and Beatrix, who had been biting the insides of her cheeks the whole time this was happening. She knew, however, that she would have to ask them all to keep quiet and be serious.

Besides, if she didn’t do something soon to keep busy, she would soon start killing things from boredom.

“If you please,” Beatrix said loudly over the din in the room and Sera’s swearing. “We _need_ to hear what Hawke and Alistair have to say! Unless you want us to fail to stop the demon army! I’m sure _THAT_ will go over really well!”

The noise and even Sera’s cussing quieted down immediately, but the elf still glared at Alistair, muttering dark threats at the back of his head.

“We were ambushed by darkspawn on the way to Adamant, Inquisitor,” Hawke said after realizing that Alistair was still too flustered to speak. "But we finally did arrive at our destination, although much later than we hoped.” Hawke turned to Alistair who cleared his throat.

“Yes, uh,” the Warden began, looking at Beatrix. “There is a very large group of Wardens at Adamant Fortress. We did manage to spy quite a bit and saw Erimond there. The bad news is that he is continuing to bind all the mages he can. We personally saw one of the rituals taking place.”

Silence met the Warden’s first words. Beatrix shook her head, her eyes clearly asking Alistair to continue.

“Erimond and some of Venatori are holed up there in the fortress as well. They are indeed making a demon army.”

“We must stop them somehow,” Beatrix nearly shouted, her eyes flashing angrily for a few moments.   

Cullen, in the meantime, was handed a map of the area by Leliana. “My scouts have mapped the fortress as best they could. We should be able to take a look and I’m sure they’ll send messages to update this map. We can plan ahead.”

“But if they are already forming their demon army, there may be no time to even plan,” Beatrix shook her head, a deep sigh escaping her.

Cullen, who had been focusing on the map, suddenly jerked his head up, his eyes twinkling. Beatrix immediately knew that he had a good idea and waited for him to speak.

“These walls are ancient. A few trebuchets should topple them,” he smiled. “We could use ladders to invade the battlements as soon as we arrive.”

“And we’re lucky,” Josephine happily said. “We’ve just received trebuchets from two very illustrious families that support our cause.”

Beatrix clapped her hands at this, her eyes twinkling as she dimpled at Ambassador first and then the Commander.

“I love the way you think, Commander.”

Leliana giggled to this and then held a gloved hand over her lips immediately after. Cullen scowled, but Beatrix once again spoke, allowing Cullen some time to calm down.

“Bull,” she said turning to the Qunari, who looked fondly down at her.

“Yeah, boss,” he said, ready and eager to help.

“Do you think that Rocky could help bring down the walls?”

“Oh, yeah. Rocky will make anything in Thedas explode,” Bull replied with a grin. “I’ll speak to him right after the meeting.”

“Excellent! Make sure all the Chargers meet with the Commander and you. I want you to devise a plan of where and when to hit, using the trebuchets and Rocky’s concoctions.”

Cullen smiled, nodding as his eyes met the Iron Bull’s. “We’ll be ready, Inquisitor.”

“Excellent. Then I must ask that you continue planning on the road. We leave at first light tomorrow,” Beatrix said crisply. “If we tarry any longer, we may not have a winning chance against all the demons Erimond will let through.”

“I agree,” Cassandra commented, steely determination in her eyes. “We will not fail, Inquisitor!”

“There is no option for failure,” Beatrix replied with a frown, her eyes hard. “For if we do, the whole of Thedas will be razed by Corypheus and his demon army. We _cannot and will not_ allow this to happen!”

A brief pause followed and then she spoke again, her clear, fearless, and steady voice filling the room.

“We cannot let Thedas die!”

…


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adamant Fortress in this chapter. Even though I’ve promised to try not to write what happens in the game, I cannot leave out the main plot at times. This is one of the times.
> 
> I LOVED playing through Adamant. And I still do. It’s one of my favorite missions in the whole game (not counting the DLCs). Therefore, I really hope I did the whole thing justice! I did add and change a couple of things, but still kept to the main plot. There is another plot that I'm writing along this one, but it will make another appearance in the next chapters, lol. It’s been written in from the beginning actually, but I don’t know if many of you caught the hints here and there. :P :D 
> 
> Before you start reading, I want to tell you how touched I am that you are reading and following my fic! When I published the first chapter I never dreamed this would happen! Thank you SO much for all the comments, kudos and bookmarks! Also thanks to my darling beta, LadyDarksbane! Your help is much appreciated, darling!
> 
> If you have any comments or anything you wish to say, don’t hesitate to write it below! :D

…

As soon as they reached the Western Approach, both Alistair and Hawke took the lead. They knew a way to Adamant, and warned everyone to be on the lookout for darkspawn. Since Beatrix hadn’t had time to explore the Western Approach at all, she tried to stay as close as possible, her horse picking up the pace as she rode behind them. Cullen was riding with the army a very long way back.

When they reached the site of the ritual where they had confronted Erimond, both Alistair and Hawke stopped. The three of them dismounted shortly afterwards and waited for her companions. Cullen and the army were too far away, and it probably would take them a couple of hours at the very least before they arrived, bringing with them the trebuchets and the rest of the heavy equipment they needed for battle. 

Alistair looked at Beatrix, who immediately understood he wanted to speak and nodded back. He turned to all the companions, clearing his throat loudly. 

“There is another fortress here,” the Warden said, pointing towards his left. “It’s Griffon Wing Keep. We could use it as a base until the army arrives.”

“That’s a good idea,” Beatrix replied. “Let’s hope it’s empty.”

“It is, Inquisitor,” Alistair replied. “We didn’t see anyone there on our way to Adamant.”

Bull took a spyglass out and peered through it with his good eye. “There’s movement on the battlements. Looks like people.”

“Qunari stuff, yeah?” Sera asked curiously. “Lemme see!”

Bull smiled as he handed her the spyglass.

“That’s strange,” Alistair said. “Maybe there are more wardens around? Only they’re here in Griffon Wing Keep?”

“You mean separated into two groups?” Dorian asked. “Why would they do that?”

Hawke shook his head, his brow furrowed. “I don’t see how or why a group would leave Adamant and go to Griffon Wing Keep since they are all together for the rituals.”

“You’re right,” Beatrix said thoughtfully. “Whoever’s there probably isn’t friendly, though. Maybe bandits?”

“We’ll have to attack and take the keep,” Cassandra said, her voice loud and clear. “We should do so now. The army will need a place to come back to after the battle.”

“I agree,” Beatrix said, looking to Hawke and Alistair, who both nodded. “Make ready for battle, everyone. Madame Vivienne should be protected at all costs. She is our healer.”

“My dear, you _do_ realize I can fight?” the mage asked with a frosty smile on her lips.

“Oh, I didn’t say you couldn’t, Madame,” Beatrix gave her a wide smile. “I just said you should be protected quite a bit more than the rest. Maker forbid I keep you from fighting!”

Sera let out a guffaw, earning her a glare from Vivienne. The elven rogue stopped laughing and turned away, immediately sliding over to where Bull was standing and handing him back his spyglass.

“You know the Chargers are with Cullen, Boss. What do you want me to do?” Bull asked her.

“Use your giant hammer as much as you can, Bull,” Beatrix grinned. “It stuns whoever is close, so get in and slam it down where you see a group of enemies together.”

“And the rest, Inquisitor?” Solas asked respectfully with a small smile.

“All of us will fight closely together, so we’ll do what we are good at doing. Only now there will be more of us fighting together, so we have to take care of each other as well. Solas, you work with fire as always; Dorian, use your electric spells as much as you possibly can. All three of you please remember to also put up barriers on all of the melee fighters at all times.” Beatrix paused for a few moments smiling at her companions, then turned to Varric and Sera. “If there are people on the battlements, your spells and arrows must bring them down first if we are to get inside.”  
  
“Won’t know what hit ‘em!” Sera laughed, turning to nod at Varric. The dwarf grinned, readying his crossbow, Bianca.

Hawke smiled at Beatrix. “I’ll put up barriers as well, the four of us can take turns,” he turned to look at Solas, Dorian and Vivienne, who nodded at him. “I also know a lot of ice magic, but my specialty is force magic. I’ll do what I can to help.”

“Thanks Hawke, I really appreciate your help,” Beatrix said with a smile. Turning around she faced Cole and he looked at her quietly, waiting for her orders.

“Cole, you’re with me. Use stealth all the time, I want you to surprise them.” The spirit-boy nodded at this, his large eyes following her every move and gesture.

“All of you please remember we have mages to protect! They are our most important fighters if there are large quantities of people who attack us! Protect Varric and Sera as well. Their arrows will ensure the path ahead is free. Also, try to always look ahead, anticipate moves like you always do, and work to defend if one of us is in trouble. You are the best warriors in Thedas! Don’t ever forget that!”

…

They attacked as soon as they were close enough, surprising the enemies that were on watch. Both Sera and Varric tore into them with their arrows and some of them fell to the ground below writhing in pain until Bull’s hammer silenced them forever. The mages were already attacking another small group on their right, while Alistair, Blackwall and Cassandra moved in for the kill.

“Vints! Bloody, fucking Vints!” Bull growled when they were done.

“Well,” Beatrix said cheerfully. “There must be quite a few inside. Want to lead us into the keep, Bull?”

“Oh, yeah!” Bull replied as he swung and brought his war hammer against the door, which was so ancient it shattered into pieces.

The whole battle was over very quickly, the hardest one to put down had been the Venatori Overseer at the top of the keep. Once they were done, Beatrix took one of the Inquisition’s banners from her backpack, and quickly changed the Venatori banner at the flagpole for theirs.

Cole brought Cullen and the army over to Griffon Wing when they arrived at the ritual site. The soldiers immediately helped carry the bodies out and burn them.

“Fancy meeting you here!” Beatrix greeted Cullen with a huge smile as he approached her.

“Great job taking this fortress,” Cullen murmured once he was inches away. Pulling her close, he gently kissed her, obviously not caring who saw them.

She broke away first, pushing away slightly to look into his eyes, a surprised expression on her face. “Why, Commander! What about the wagging tongues?”

“You just captured a keep full of Venatori,” Cullen replied with a smirk. “As far as I’m concerned, they can wag all they want.”

…

They reached Adamant by nightfall, attacking immediately. The great trebuchets and Rocky’s bombs managed to shatter parts of the battlements, while the great ladders swung in the air and landed on top of the remaining walls, enabling Inquisition soldiers to climb up to the battlements directly and attack the wardens immediately. The great battering ram they had destroyed the huge doors that led into the fortress and they were inside in a blink of an eye.

Cullen searched for Beatrix in the mayhem of the battle, finally spotting her. Jogging up to her, he reached her just as she was about to enter.

“You have your way in, love,” he said as he embraced her. “Keep close to your companions and Hawke and Alistair. Be careful, please.”

“You be careful also! If anything happens to you, I’ll kill you myself!” Beatrix exclaimed as Cullen chuckled softly, tightening his arms around her briefly. His eyes caught movement on the battlements.

Beatrix turned to look up. She saw the demonic shades and sighed. It looked like the demons were running amok.

“You’ll have to get through the demons to get to the Warden-Commander and Erimond, love. They are probably holed up somewhere in one of the main courtyards. We’ll cover you the best we can,” Cullen murmured as she nodded.

They shared a quick kiss and Beatrix unsheathed her daggers as she walked inside, her companions immediately attacking the surviving wardens in the area. Alistair turned to her, panting slightly.

“Warden-Commander Clarel must be further in, Inquisitor,” he commented.

“We’ll use the battlements to get to the inner bailey,” Beatrix replied, spotting a door directly in front of her. “Are you familiar with the layout?”

“Oh!” Alistair replied, suddenly searching for something inside his tunic pocket and bringing out a piece of parchment. “Leliana, um… _Sister Nightingale_ gave me this map before we left Skyhold. Her scouts apparently managed to get a clear view of the general layout of the fortress. I don’t know how they did it, considering it’s full of wardens, but it should take us further in.”

Beatrix took the parchment, studying it carefully. “Looks like we have a lot of fighting to do before we get to Clarel,” she mused, handing the parchment back to Alistair. “We’ll have to be quick about it.”

Her eyes scanned the area, immediately spotting a door. Cole materialized in front of her, scaring Alistair half to death, who took several steps back, inadvertently stepping on Sera who was behind him.

“Blood and shite!” Sera screamed. “Not again!”

Vivienne turned to look at the blond elvish rogue with a bored expression on her face. She rapidly sent out a healing spell that quieted Sera down, while Beatrix smiled, keeping her eyes on Cole.

“Yes, that’s the way,” Cole confirmed as Beatrix sheathed her bloody daggers, walking towards the door and opening it. The area she stepped into was full of dead bodies and a huge stone that had probably been fired by one of the trebuchets. There was a ladder on the far wall and she rushed to it, climbing up quickly only to realize she was finally on the battlements before she was attacked by a couple of shades.

Her companions quickly climbed the ladder to join the fray. They ran most of the way as soon as the demons had been dealt with, arriving at another area where Inquisition soldiers were fighting a large Pride demon.

“Barriers!” she called out to Solas, Dorian, Hawke, and Vivienne. She turned her head slightly to look at Cole who gave a small nod, immediately disappearing before her eyes as she unsheathed her daggers. Alistair, Cassandra and Blackwall rushed forward to help, just as Cole reappeared behind the Pride demon, his daggers connecting with the demon in between its scales.

The Pride demon howled with pain, but never managed to turn to Cole because Alistair, Blackwall and Cassandra all bashed their shields into it, stunning it momentarily.

Both Vivienne and Hawke let loose an ice spell that encased the thing in ice, while the melee fighters attacked again. The demon shattered, the ice crystals flying into the air and dissolving as soon as they hit the stone floor.

They regrouped briefly, pausing to check if they had any injuries while Vivienne and Solas busied themselves healing what they could. Once that was done, they continued their march on the battlements, fighting the wardens and demons along the way.

After what seemed like an eternity to Beatrix who was impatient to get it all over and done quickly, they arrived at a small courtyard where warden warriors were fighting the warden mages. The demons the wardens had summoned attacked them immediately, but they were no match for Beatrix and her group.

When the warden mages lay dead at their feet, one of the warden warriors – presumably the leader of the group – warned Beatrix to stay back.

“We aren’t here to fight wardens!” Beatrix’s shout rang out sheathing her daggers immediately as a sign that she meant no harm. “We’re only here to get to Clarel and Erimond! If you step back and lower your weapons we’ll be on our way in peace!”

The warden warrior who spoke to her lowered his weapon, sheathing it a few moments later. The rest  of the wardens did the same.

“Alright,” he said to Beatrix, “do what you must. We do not wish to attack the Inquisition any longer.”

Beatrix nodded, relief washing over her as she spotted a door on her left which would probably take them further inside.

“Thank you, Inquisitor,” Alistair smiled gratefully as they walked towards it quietly. “I didn’t want to spend the rest of the night killing my brothers.”

“You know if they attack we have to kill them, don’t you?” Beatrix replied with a teasing smile.

“And here I thought we were only here for the cheese,” Alistair quipped back with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Well. I’m glad _that’s_ cleared up,” Beatrix responded, chuckling as she reached the door.

…

By the time they reached the main courtyard in the inner bailey, both Erimond and Warden-Commander Clarel were undertaking what seemed to be the last ritual to let in a particularly nasty demon. Beatrix caught sight of it and gasped, its many eyes seemingly staring directly at her. Not only was the thing monstrous, but it was straining to get across the veil that was still impeding its entry.

They tried to reason with Clarel, but she had already killed one of the older wardens, and the blood was slowly pooling around him and dripping from the stone table he was lain upon to the floor. The warden mages had formed a circle around it, the demons they had summoned staying close to them.

As it happened, Clarel chose not to listen to Beatrix or Alistair and gave the order to let the huge demon through. Beatrix started to curse. Very loudly. She had never felt so much anger in her entire life. Stupidity was to blame here: Clarel’s stupidity for believing a Tevinter mage, the Warden mages’ stupidity for agreeing to summon demons in the first place, stupidity because they believed in their cause so much, they had closed their eyes to reason.

“Please, stop!” Blackwall thundered behind her, ignoring the expletives Beatrix was spewing out. The Warden mages turned to look at Blackwall, momentarily distracted. “My name is Blackwall. Some of you may have heard about me. From the first moment I became a warden I felt I belonged. I followed happily, because my life had purpose. But if you let that thing cross the Veil, you aren’t helping our cause at all, Warden-Commander.  You aren’t stopping the Blight. If you want to stop the Blight, stop the Tevinter mage beside you! His Master is the embodiment of evil – an ancient darkspawn that will crush us all!”

A few of the mages turned to look up at Erimond, confusion and uncertainty on their faces.

Alistair joined his voice to Blackwall. “I killed thousands of darkspawn during the Blight. Your mages are now slaves to Corypheus, Clarel. Don’t do this!”

Clarel faltered, and Erimond clearly saw this. He tried convincing her, but she shook her head.

“Perhaps it would be wise to test the truth of what they are saying,” the woman said, turning to Erimond.

“Or,” Erimond sneered at her. “perhaps it’s time to call upon a more reliable ally!” Seething with anger, he turned to look down at Beatrix. “My Master knew you would stick your little nose into this, Inquisitor. So he sent me this to welcome you!” Erimond hit the stone floor beneath him three times with the end of his staff. Immediately afterwards, the same dragon that had attacked Haven appeared, flying overhead – corruption oozing from its scales.

“Shit!” muttered Bull behind Beatrix, pulling her to safety as they all dodged the red fire of the beast. Beatrix was still looking up at Clarel as the woman stared first at Erimond and then at the dragon. She saw the Warden-Commander ready an electricity spell and Erimond pleading for her to stop.

Once the spell hit the dragon, mayhem ensued. Erimond ran off and the demons attacked them in spite of Clarel’s command to the mages that they should help the Inquisitor. The fact of the matter was that Clarel was gone, chasing after Erimond, so she could not calm the mages or do anything about the utter chaos in the courtyard. 

Beatrix and her group defended themselves against the assault rather well at the beginning. It was when a Pride demon was summoned that things began to go downhill. The mages were chucking down lyrium potions like water, trying to fight and protect the team at the same time. More demons replaced the falling ones and the whole courtyard stank of demon ichor. To make matters worse the dragon circled above them every now and then, breathing corruption on them.

Needless to say, they were in a very dark spot.

At that moment, Beatrix’s mark flared up as she stood in front of the Pride demon, her left hand raised high, walking slowly towards it with a determined look on her face. The mark connected with the huge beast and quite suddenly a rift opened right inside it, tearing it to pieces.

Beatrix stared dumbly at her hand when she was done. She didn’t even know her mark could do that!

Her companions finished clearing out the demons and mages and they looked at her their mouths agape.

“I think your encounter with Corypheus at Haven augmented your mark a little more than you thought, Inquisitor,” Solas said calmly as he walked towards her, his blue-grey eyes holding hers. “Fascinating!”

“Well, we could all stand here and say ‘ _Fascinating’_ ,” Alistair said as he walked towards them. “Or we could follow Clarel and Erimond.”

 Beatrix shook her head, willing herself to focus on the present. “Right,” she said already sprinting into a run, “we _follow_ them!”

“Isn’t ‘ _chase’_ a more appropriate word?” Varric huffed behind her.

…

Beatrix sprinted into a run again, after dealing with some demons the warden warriors were fighting. It was obvious to her that these wardens and many others were now helping the Inquisition and that put her more on ease, but she still was furious over the whole mess and she hoped she could get it out of her system by killing that damned Erimond and dealing with the stupid dragon immediately afterwards if she could. She didn’t even care that she was putting her life on the line even more than usual. She just ran and ran, trying to keep out of the dragon’s fiery breath along the way.

Turning a corner, they finally reached them. They were standing along a stretch of battlements that led nowhere. The abyss was probably underneath, dangerous and foreboding. Beatrix skidded to a stop and watched the whole scene unfold before her in slow motion.

She saw how badly Warden-Commander Clarel was trying to punish Erimond for destroying the wardens and how insultingly Erimond responded, sneering at her. Beatrix winced slightly because she had inadvertently been digging her nails into her palms as she clenched her fists, piercing the skin. She glanced quickly at the blood spurting out, momentarily losing sight of what was happening and therefore failed to see the dragon approaching them.

The dragon grabbed Warden-Commander Clarel in its mouth, flying up to one of the towers overlooking the battlements, then shook her side to side. Vaguely, Beatrix remembered Bull going on about how clever dragons were when he started begging her to go kill the one in Crestwood. It was this conversation that had prompted her to leave Bull and part of her team in Crestwood in the first place. Now she knew for sure that this dragon was as clever as Bull had described. The dragon kept its snakelike eyes on Beatrix, as if it was letting her know she was next. It then let go of the Warden-Commander and the woman flew through the air and landed on the battlements with a sickening crunch very close to Beatrix and her whole party, who were still staring with dumb expressions on their faces.

Erimond ran off, clutching his side and Beatrix felt her anger start to surface again. Of course he was running off, the coward! Yet, there was no time to even consider chasing him. The dragon was now walking calmly down the low tower, keeping its eyes on Beatrix, its mouth open in what seemed to be an amusing grin. Beatrix backed away as it stepped closer, her party doing the same.

At that moment, Cullen appeared, turning the corner as he came face to face with the awful scene. The dragon which had attacked Haven was now moving towards Beatrix and her team, who were slowly walking backwards to the end of the battlements. He realized quickly that it meant they would either die as they fell into the dark abyss or be killed by the huge beast before them. He gave a desperate shout, causing the dragon to turn its scaly neck and head to gaze down at him, but Beatrix didn’t want to see the dragon mauling the love of her life, so she quickly took one of the smaller daggers she kept concealed inside her boot and threw it directly at the dragon’s underside. The small blade quickly embedded itself in a part of the beast that was not covered in scales.

The dragon felt it and turned back to Beatrix and her team, roaring loudly at them. They scrambled backwards yet again as they tried to escape its anger. At that moment, Clarel, who was still alive, threw a lightning bolt that knocked the dragon off its feet causing it to fall heavily on the battlements and as it tried to get up it slipped off the edge, causing the whole ancient walkway to start crumbling.

The mighty beast fell, but suddenly remembered it could fly. Flapping its great wings, it rose into the darkness and disappeared.

Beatrix and her companions were suddenly running for their dear life, trying to get to a safe area as huge pieces of the battlements started to fall directly into the abyss. Alistair nearly fell and clung to the edge, and Beatrix went back to help him back up, eliciting a shout from Cullen, who was now running towards them, much to Beatrix’s dismay.

“Get back, you foolish man, you!” she screamed as she ran for her life, the rest of her team running wildly alongside her. But Cullen paid no heed to her words and managed to catch her in his arms, just as the whole area around them crumbled.  “Let me go!”

“Never!” Cullen panted as he held on even tighter.

“Commander!” Beatrix screamed. “Your men need you! I’ll be fine, I promise!”

Krem suddenly appeared and shouted, throwing himself forward and grabbing Cullen’s ankles.

“Commander! Your men need you!” Krem echoed Beatrix’s words, holding fast.  

At that moment, one of Beatrix’s hands slipped away, and Cullen felt the tears he had been holding back fall to his cheeks. Beatrix turned her body and wrenched her wrist from him, falling into the darkness as he cried out, his shout filling the area and reverberating off the surrounding cliffs. At the last moment, however, he saw a flash of green which came and went, leaving the whole area in a darkness so deep, it seeped into Cullen’s very soul.

“It’s alright, Commander,” Krem groaned as he started to pull, heaving Cullen back up. Rocky and a few of the soldiers had also arrived and managed to pull Cullen to safety. “We’ve got you!”

“It’s _not_ alright!” Cullen yelled facing Krem, Rocky and his men angrily. Barris arrived with a few more of the soldiers, standing still and looking at what was unfolding before him. Cullen wiped the tears off angrily. “It will _never_ be alright!”

“They fell into a rift, Ser,” Krem added in a loud voice, trying to get Cullen to react in a more positive way.

“It doesn’t _matter_ if they fell into a rift! She’s gone! She’s lost! And I’m not there to help her! To protect her!”

The words Cullen wailed out stunned them all into silence. They couldn’t reply, not because they didn’t want to, but because they honestly didn’t have the words to do so.

Because words were _never_ going to be enough.

Not in this case at any rate.

…


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’ve reached a most important chapter, my friends! First of all, I hated how you had to choose between the warden (Alistair if you were unlucky, lol) and Hawke while they were trapped in the Fade, so I’ve tried a different approach. Next, pay close attention to the voices! (You’ll know what I mean when you read! Haha) And last but not least, I thought it a good idea for Vivienne to do some ‘bonding’ with someone in the Inner Circle.
> 
> Oh! And I’m also changing the memories part a bit, because the reveal in the Fade didn’t seem all that horrifying to me, so I’m turning it into a bit of a melodrama, lmao!
> 
> In other words, I am NOT writing this up to look like the game at all. I’m straying from the game as much as I can, and will continue to do so, without touching the lore too much, haha! Well, for now, until my head canon shines through! LOL
> 
> As always, thanks so much for your fantastic feedback! And thanks so much to my darling beta, LadyDarksbane who is always there for me! :D

…

Beatrix stood up trembling. Looking around, she observed the bleak landscape that lay before her. There were distorted images of dark buildings, rocks and stones jutting out of the ground in inconvenient places and patches of fog here and there. And all of it was tinged in green. The very shade of green she had seen upon opening her eyes in Haven when she first dropped out of the Fade.

The Fade.

They were in the fucking Fade _._

She shook her head, trying to contain the shudders she would be having if she allowed them. At that very moment Hawke and Alistair voiced their own opinion and agreed that they were in the Fade.

Dorian told the story of what had happened the first time he visited the Fade. Bull, however, was visibly upset and resorted to complaining, carrying out a perfectly normal conversation with Krem – even though Krem was nowhere near them, having stayed behind at Adamant. Beatrix chuckled.

There was nothing ‘normal’ about his conversation at all.

“I can’t _BELIEVE_ I listened to that… _ASSHOLE_!” Bull ending up muttering under his breath.

“Shite and spite!” Sera yelled loudly, eliciting a jump from Beatrix, who hadn’t heard her creep behind her. “We’re in the _fucking_ Fade? _What the fuck_?”

“Please let it out, my dear. I do believe you left out one ‘fuck’,” Vivienne observed calmly.

“Ugh!” Cassandra interrupted, rolling her eyes so hard that Beatrix thought they would certainly roll out of her head this time. “I trust you two will keep quiet while we try to find a way out?”

“Shit, Buttercup! I hate this place!” came Varric’s comment as he appeared beside Beatrix earning him a glare from the Seeker.

“This is fascinating,” Solas said, his calm demeanor causing all her companions – and herself – to turn and stare at the elven mage as if he was growing two heads or something; his eyes were actually twinkling with delight.

“This is wrong!” Cole nearly shouted, his voice louder as he anxiously turned around, surveying the whole area with a fear that up to this point he had hidden so well. “I’m not supposed to be here!”

“Cole!” Solas replied in a hurry, walking quickly towards him. “This is wonderful! Look! It’s the Fade!”

But Cole slid to the ground, holding his head in his hands in distress, rocking himself back and forth and softly moaning, “No, no, no! I can’t return! I can’t be here!”

Beatrix walked briskly to the spirit-boy, crouching down to speak to him.

“Cole,” she nearly whispered. “It’s alright. We’ll find a way out.”

Cole stopped his rocking and gazed into her eyes for a few minutes, while the rest of her companions stood by quietly. His breathing gradually slowed and she nearly sighed with relief when he gave her a small smile.

“That thing, yeah? Shouldn’t help it! Shouldn’t listen – it’s just wrong!” Sera blurted out, and Beatrix felt the anger bubbling to the surface immediately, growing in intensity when Vivienne interrupted Sera.

“For once, I agree, darling. That demon belongs here in the Fade. Perhaps you could convince it to stay here? He seems to have taken a liking to you after all.” The lovely mage fixed a cold stare upon Beatrix, ignoring Cole completely.

Beatrix rose up to her full height, letting go of her anger, unwilling to listen to Varric who warned her to be careful under his breath.

“Listen here, you stupid fucking _peacock_!” she shouted as Madame de Fer fixed an extremely angry glare on her. “Cole is WITH _ME_! So if you find fault with him, then you find fault with me! Perhaps things will look better for you if you return to your little palace, where you can IMAGINE you lead, NO MAGE WHATSOEVER if I recall correctly, since all of them are at Skyhold at this moment? I’m sure Empress Celene would welcome you with open arms!”

Everyone stood in stunned silence, looking at both Beatrix and Vivienne as they faced each other, their stares shooting daggers.

However, after a short time had passed, the mage looked away. Beatrix had certainly done her homework well, for at the moment Vivienne didn’t lead a single mage. In truth, she only felt she had a better chance of climbing back to the top if she was part of the Inner Circle in the Inquisition ranks.

She couldn’t really afford to leave at all.

“Nonsense, my dear,” Vivienne replied coldly as she tugged at a non-existent thread from her sleeve. “I’m sure…Cole…and I can reach an accord.”

“Nowhere to go, trapped, new arcane advisor with the Empress. It should be me. It should be me,” Cole babbled to no one in particular behind Beatrix, his pale gaze fixed on Vivienne.

Vivienne’s eyes widened for only a moment. Indeed it was so fleeting, nobody caught it. Nobody except for Beatrix, however. And that was because she was still staring directly at the mage.

“Yes, well, shall we devote our time instead to search for a way out?” Beatrix said quietly, nodding at Vivienne, her breathing much calmer as she looked at her companions.

“What! We’re already looking to leave?” Alistair exclaimed in mocked indignation. “And such a lovely, peaceful place! What a shame.”

“You’re stealing all my lines, you know,” Dorian remarked, giving the Warden warrior a wink and blowing him a kiss immediately afterwards.

Alistair turned a violent shade of red at this, trying unsuccessfully to hide behind Hawke. This caused Beatrix to burst into unexpected laughter, which immediately eased the tension surrounding them all.

“Well, let’s just move along. It’s better than doing nothing and letting the demons find us here, right?” she said as soon as she could speak.

“I couldn’t agree more,” Cassandra agreed. “Let’s go.”

…

They fought a lot of demons in the area they were currently in. However, Beatrix didn’t know if it was because they were in the Fade, but the fact was that they never grew tired of fighting. Oh, they could get hurt and bleed – as some of them were – but they still had heaps of stamina. Beatrix also noticed her adrenaline shoot up to very high, and maintained an all-time high, even when she wasn’t fighting. She checked with the rest of the group and they immediately let her know that this was happening to them as well.

This was strange, to say the least. But they _were_ in the Fade, weren’t they? At any rate, it would prove handy, because the demons just kept popping up.

Unfortunately, they weren’t safe from injuries, but having Vivienne there as their healer and Solas to assist her made all the difference in staying alive.

Once they made sure everything hostile was gone, they started up a flight of crudely-made stairs. Beatrix smiled to herself as she thought of something carving them on the basalt cliff they were climbing. At least it was distracting to think that the demons were given jobs to do around here.

_“Hey, you! I said the table should be UPSIDE-DOWN!”_

_“Where do you think YOU’RE going? You still have to make a couple of staircases, idiot!”_

She chuckled to herself just as she reached the top of the stairs and took a few steps into the next area where she came face-to-face with something – someone – that rattled her nerves and paralyzed her.

The rest of her group had mostly made their way up and also speechless. Beatrix turned around to look at Cassandra whose jaw had literally hit the floor.

The only one who spoke was Cole, and he said hello with a faint smile.

At least the kid had manners.

“Divine Justinia?” Beatrix finally stammered out, her voice wavering slightly.

“It cannot be!” Cassandra said, now standing beside Beatrix.

“You stand before me and think I cannot do the same?” Divine Justinia tilted her head slightly as she spoke, her eyes on Cassandra before turning to each companion, a smile on her face and a soft glow emanating from her very robes.

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Alistair observed. “But do human beings glow like that? I think only spirits can.”

“Shite!” exclaimed Sera, a short distance away from the rest.  

But Beatrix was already stepping forward stopping in front of the elderly woman, confusion written all over her face.

“I thought –“ Beatrix faltered. The Divine smiled at her encouragingly and she stepped back shaking her head. “From what I remember, you’re supposed to be dead.”

“You are here in the Fade yourselves. You do not believe I could be in the Fade also, hmm?” Justinia asked with a kind smile on her face.

“Is it a demon? It looks ‘demony’,” Alistair observed.

“Doesn’t feel like a demon,” Hawke said. “I think it’s a spirit.”

“Well, and here I thought we would get eaten by a demon today,” Alistair replied, shaking his head. “No such luck, then?”

“We’ve only just arrived, give it time,” Hawke practically snarled back.

“I greet you both, Champion and Warden.” Justinia interrupted looking at them both kindly.

“Well, then, whether you are a spirit or not, can you tell us how to get the fuck out of here?” Beatrix asked nervously.

“There are a few things we must talk about first, Inquisitor,” the Divine said. “Then you must hurry to leave before it can kill you all.”

“It?” Beatrix blinked in confusion.

“The Nightmare commands here. This is its lair. I am here to help you so that you can escape,” the Divine explained, then paused. Her pale blue eyes searched Beatrix’s face looking for something. Then she smiled at her, seemingly finding what she hoped to find. She spoke again, but her words were cryptic – confusing at best.

“I am here to help you get back your memories, so you can leave this place.”

…

Cullen sighed as he watched the Grey Wardens lay their weapons down. They had finally succeeded in killing the demons and everyone was exhausted.

Mentally and emotionally drained as well.

His men still held their swords up defensively even though the wardens lay theirs down. He sheathed his sword and bristled angrily. If it wasn’t for their stupidity, they wouldn’t be in this predicament in the first place.

Barris stopped right in front of Cullen, saluting him.

“Commander,” the young templar said. “the wardens have surrendered to us. What do we do?”

“Have our men lower their weapons,” Cullen replied automatically. “We need…the Inquisitor to decide what to do with them, but…” he swallowed, forcing the lump in his throat down, willing his tears not to fall.

Then he was silent and stood there, just looking at Barris with the saddest expression Barris had ever seen on his face.

“Understood, Commander Ser,” Barris said, then turned to face everyone.

“Lower your weapons!” he commanded. “The wardens have surrendered. We will have to make sure you stay in one of the main areas of the keep until the Inquisitor returns. She will decide what has to be done next.”

“And if the Inquisitor doesn’t return?” one of the wardens called out cheekily, prompting Cullen to take a step towards the young man who had spoken.

“If that is the case, may the Maker Himself have mercy on your soul,” Cullen practically growled out. Then he turned around and left, everyone in the area stunned by what they had just heard.   

…

Beatrix’s memories did come back. All of them. She was forced to relive every single moment that had transpired, since before the Temple of Sacred Ashes exploded.

Her memories were not pretty. They were frightening and terrible. It was a wonder that she was still standing very much alive, while the woman who was with her was not.

The visions that appeared before her were not private either. The magic of the place made them appear to all.

All of them watched everything unfold, their eyes widening in surprise.

They heard every single word spoken.

_“What the fuck is going on here?”_

_The Divine, suspended by red tendrils of magic, fueled by warden mages._

_“Keep the sacrifice still.”_

_“We have an intruder. Kill her.”_

_The Divine freeing one of her arms and swatting at the orb that the Elder One held up to her face._

_Beatrix picking up the orb and screaming out in pain, dropping it almost immediately, the Divine grabbing her arm as everything turned white._

_Then, the Fade. Both of them alive, running from creatures that looked like spiders. The spiders cornering them once, Beatrix stabbing one of the creatures that had been biting the Divine._

_Beatrix pushing the Divine away asking her to leave her and get to safety. The Divine climbing up some stairs and disappearing from view._

_The spiders nearly overrunning her as well as she turned and simply ran._

_She ran until she heard them no longer._

_She ran until she fell to the ground, exhausted, crying tears of fear._

_Then, a voice._

_“Get up! Get up, little one! The place you are in is dangerous! Get up!”_

_Beatrix getting up in spite of her exhaustion and the spiders once again catching her scent. She could hear them chittering behind her._

_Then she was climbing a cliff as she spotted the Divine who was glowing now. Beatrix didn’t understand but didn’t care. If she did not climb towards the glowing figure, then she would die at the mercy of the spiders and she didn’t want to die._

_So she climbed and prayed she would make it._

_And she did make it._

_“You must go through the rift! Go now!”_

_“But what about you?”_

_A bright light nearly blinding her as the spiders caught Justinia and Beatrix held on to her hand, trying to save her._

_“You cannot save what no longer lives, my child.”_

_Beatrix feeling surprised and sad as the Divine was ripped from her hand. Then she was turning and jumping through the rift._

“You, you died,” Beatrix gasped at the spirit in front of her as the vision disappeared. “The people thought it was Andraste behind me in the Fade, but they saw you.”

“Yes,” the spirit replied sadly.

“You told me to get up? Told me I was in danger?” Beatrix asked.

“No,” the spirit of the Divine said. “I was dying from the spider bites.”

“Then, who?”

“That is a question we cannot dwell on. We are in danger. The Nightmare comes for us all. We must ready ourselves for a terrible fight.”

“You’re her spirit, aren’t you?” It was more of a statement than a question and the spirit cocked its head to its side, regarding her for a moment before replying.

“If that is the story you wish to tell, it is not a bad one.”

“Then this is a spirit, not the Divine,” Alistair commented.

“You don’t say!” Hawke sneered, turning to the Divine.

“I am sorry I disappoint you all,” the spirit simply said. Hawke frowned at this, the sadness on his face surprising everyone who was looking at him.

Before the spirit did anything else, she turned to Cole.

“You are not like the Nightmare, Compassion. You will never be like it. Do not fear what you are doing in the world. You are helping.”

Cole’s eyes widened and then he smiled – one of the brightest smiles Beatrix had ever seen. Immediately after her words, the light surrounding the Divine became very bright and suddenly she was but a bright spirit hovering slightly above them.

“Come, we have little time. You must escape this prison and guide your people, Inquisitor. You _must_ destroy Corypheus.”

…

Vivienne saw everything that happened with just about the same surprise as anyone else. But when the spirit turned to Cole and spoke those words, she started to doubt the way she had felt about him before.

And when one is Madame De Fer, one does not simply doubt.

She said nothing as she fought, kept her mouth shut when she hurried to heal those that needed healing and took up her spirit blade again, slashing through the aspect of the Nightmare they were fighting.

She said nothing when she herself was injured and hurriedly drank an elfroot potion.

But when Cole fell to his feet in front of her, defending her from one of the spiderlings he had managed to kill before it touched her, she fell to her knees in front of the boy, her healing filling him and making his eyes open wide immediately, looking deeply into hers.

“You’re safe, my dear,” she whispered, her icy blue eyes gentle. “You will always be safe when I fight with you. I will not let them take you from us. I will not let you be harmed.”

No game, no machinations, no ulterior motives.

And Cole smiled at her softly, then got up quickly to continue fighting.

…

When they won the battle, the rift across from where they stood blinked invitingly to them all.

“Quickly!” Beatrix told her companions as they ran ahead, passing through the glowing portal. But just as Hawke, Alistair and herself were about to sprint into a run to follow, the gigantic spider the spirit of the Divine had briefly banished before appeared in front of them, cutting off their escape.

What was that thing doing here? Beatrix wondered briefly as she stood in front of it paralyzed with fear.

“It will keep coming back,” Hawke said. “It’s the Nightmare, a demon that rules here. It can never die, only be banished for a time. If it were destroyed, all nightmares would cease to exist in the world and this would cause an imbalance.”

“That’s fantastic news,” Alistair deadpanned. “What do we do now?”

“I’ll stay and distract it, you two hurry and escape!” Hawke said bravely, adopting a defensive stance.

“NO!” Alistair shook his head. “I’m a warden! I should fix this mess!”

Beatrix let out an angry growl. “For the love of the Maker! I will not stand here and listen to or watch you two at each other’s throats yet again! _WE ALL FIGHT_! We _ALL_ make a stand!”

“You heard Hawke, Inquisitor,” Alistair started to protest.

“I heard!” Beatrix snapped, unsheathing her daggers. “We’ll stun it and make a run for it! Now quit yapping and fight!”

She disappeared from view, flanking it as Hawke sent out a force spell that drove the huge creature back, allowing Alistair to slash into one of its eight legs. The creature roared out in pain, and lashed out in turn, swatting Alistair away as if he was a fly. Hawke, who knew the principles of healing magic himself quickly applied a spell on Alistair, just as Beatrix reappeared, slashing into the same leg, almost directly below the thing.

They continued their assault for a long time, chipping away at its legs a little at a time, until they began to tire.

“Why are we getting tired now? We’ve never got tired before!” Alistair shouted as he bashed into the left side of the creature.

“It’s too strong! I think it’s feeding off our fear as well as our stamina!” Hawke puffed out his reply.

Beatrix for her part landed directly on top of the thing but one of its legs quickly found her and swatted her to the ground. She saw the monster advance on top of her and she panted, too tired to continue. Its fangs clicked loudly as they inched forward. She closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable, sorry that she would not see Cullen one last time.

And then –

_“Use your mark, little one! Use it now!”_

Beatrix opened her eyes and did not hesitate. She turned her left palm up towards the creature, the mark flinging out a powerful green beam that made the thing cry out in pain and scuttle backwards. Beatrix, free from the monster’s grasp now stood up, advancing with her left hand held up as the beam suddenly turned into a searing light. Her left arm started to tremble violently and she cried out in pain.  

The creature stood still, trembling as well, which gave them the opportunity to grab Beatrix, who fainted in Hawke’s arms. They ran towards the rift, jumping through it immediately afterwards and landed safely in one of the main courtyards in Adamant – the rift closing behind them with an audible snap.

…

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot (or one of the plots, lol) thickens in this chapter. We see how Solas reacts to a surprising incident and Beatrix manages to control her temper a little better.
> 
> Thanks to all your lovely comments! Many thanks to my lovely beta, LadyDarksbane as well!
> 
> Feel free to add your feedback at the end of the chapter. I love reading what you think!

…

Cullen was pacing up and down the battlements, at the exact place where Beatrix had slipped away and fallen into a rift. After a few minutes he stopped, looking down into the great abyss, keeping his emotions barely in check as the scene where she had let go of his hands replayed over and over again in his head.

He didn’t know what to do, he felt so lost without her. If only he’d held on tighter, maybe she would be here and…he shook his head holding back the tears. He had failed her. Worst of all, he wasn’t with her to protect her. He had promised to protect her!

He had promised!

What could he do with the guilt he was feeling? How would he go on without her? Sighing, he forced his gaze upwards towards the reddish cliffs that surrounded Adamant.

_You must let me go! Your men need you! I’ll be fine!_

The words she had spoken before she fell only seemed to fuel his desperation even more.

He heard running footsteps approaching and turned, only to see Rylen huffing and out of breath as he stopped in front of him.

“Commander!” he wheezed, trying to get the words out fast. “The Inquisitor!”

Cullen took a step forward, grabbing Rylen by the arm roughly.

“What about the Inquisitor? Speak up!”

“She’s here! Her companions, too!” Rylan managed to say all in one breath.

Cullen was suddenly aware that he was nearly twisting Rylen’s arm off, and let go, his eyes wide with surprise and hope.

“Where?” he asked quickly, noticing Rylen finally breathing more normally than he had been.

“In the main courtyard where the wardens are,” the Captain replied with a grimace. “A rift opened and her companions came out first, then Hawke and Alistair carried her out…”

“What!” Cullen exclaimed, already turning to hurry to the courtyard.

“She’s unconscious, Commander…”

And Cullen sprinted into a run, leaving Rylen behind, his heart thumping wildly in his chest and one thought playing over and over again in his mind:

_Should have been there to protect her!  Should have been there!_

…

They had already placed her inside one of the tents used for healing. Cullen stood just inside, his face serious as the healers, Solas and Vivienne took their turns with healing magic, although she didn’t appear to have a single wound. Solas turned to leave and paused when he saw Cullen.

“Commander, they will get her out of her armor in order to clean her up,” the elf gestured toward the flap of the tent. “walk with me.”

“Oh, of course,” Cullen replied hastily, following the elf out of the tent.

They walked for a while in silence, until they were relatively alone and out of earshot.

“Is she going to be alright?” Cullen asked the elf worriedly.

The elven mage did not reply immediately and led him further away from anyone who could interrupt them.

“You do remember what happened the last time she was wounded?” Solas asked as he stopped walking, turning to face Cullen.

“She was in the Fade for a very long time,” Cullen replied, the concern in his eyes evident.

“I do not guarantee she will regain consciousness soon and it has come to my attention that she is very likely doing the same thing she did last time,” Solas said quietly. “I will have to go into the Fade myself to make sure.”

“You said something about finding her last time, but – “

“Commander, the Inquisitor creates an area in the Fade that is unlike anything I have ever seen,” the elven mage quickly interrupted. “It is a refuge of peace and beauty. I did not think a human mortal as herself would do this.”

“What does that mean?” Cullen asked.

“It means she enjoys being there and that in itself is dangerous, for she does not wish to return,” Solas said somberly, his blue-grey eyes holding Cullen’s. “It means she needs to hear you to return – though I must first see if she is indeed there. You both share a bond that is impossible to miss. You must speak to her as much as possible.”

“I won’t leave her side.”

“There is nothing wrong with her physically, and she responded favorably to your voice as you informed me the last time she did this,” Solas said, a small smile appearing on his face. “I shall retire and attempt to meet her in the Fade in the meantime.”

Cullen nodded once, the desperation in his eyes causing the mage to suddenly put a hand on his shoulder.

“We must not lose hope, Commander.”

And with these words, Solas dropped his arm, turned, and walked away.

…

_Beatrix sighed happily, lying on the soft grass, the peace filling and nourishing her. She did not remember what she had been doing or how she had come to be here, but she remembered she had been here before. The sun shone high above her, the trees branches rustled softly in the breeze and the birds sang and flew around._

_Why had she ever left this place the first time? She didn’t ever want to leave._

_“Inquisitor,” she heard a voice interrupting her joy and peacefulness._

_She frowned and sat up, immediately turning to the source of the voice. A bald elven mage approached her warily, then stopped several steps away from her. Her brow furrowed. She knew this elf from somewhere – his  presence was not at all hostile to her._

_“Inquisitor, may we speak?” the elf asked with a soft smile on his face._

_“I know you from somewhere, don’t I?” Beatrix asked, tilting her head slightly, her eyes narrowing slightly._

_The elf sat in front of her and she turned around completely to face him._

_“What do you remember?” he asked, a pleasant expression on his face. His eyes were inquisitive and looked somewhat concerned._

_“I –“ Beatrix stopped obviously confused at the question. Not because it was a difficult one, but because she was probably trying to remember something. A few moments later, she looked directly into his eyes again. “Am I supposed to remember something in particular?”_

_Solas’ smile deepened, his eyes twinkling slightly. He had forgotten for a moment how clever she was._

_“Do you remember anything at all?” the elf queried next._

_At that moment the shouts of a man in obvious pain could be heard all around the place and Beatrix started, standing up._

_“Beatrix! I’m here, my love! Please, come back to me!”_

_The anguish she heard in his voice made her heart thump a little faster. He was in so much pain._

_“Do you know who that is?” Solas pressed, now standing beside her._

_“I – think I do. Why didn’t you come like you did the first time? I know you are the wolf,” she turned her head to stare straight into his eyes again. The elven mage took two steps back, his eyes widening in shock._

_“Leave.” she flicked her wrist at him and –_

Solas opened his eyes, his gaze on the tent canvas above him. He sat up, breathing heavily, sweat covering his face. Shaking his head he sat up, his brow furrowing. She knew who he was? Something that felt like fear settled in his stomach.

No, it couldn’t be. She had said ‘wolf’ not his name.

But how was that possible? And just how had she managed to wake him up exactly? She wasn’t a mage, and furthermore, there wasn’t a spell that could do that.

He shook his head again as he stood, opening the tent flap to step outside. He noticed movement outside the healer’s tent and tilted his head slightly in order to catch the words people were talking as they rushed around.

He would have to ask her what she remembered.

That would probably happen sooner than later. Judging by all the activity surrounding the tent where he had left her, it seemed that the Inquisitor had finally regained consciousness.

…

Beatrix took a deep breath, trying to control her anger. She was standing at the same place where Clarel and Erimond had stood when they had tried to bring the Nightmare demon into the world. For Beatrix, it seemed like a long time ago.

A lifetime away.

The crowd of people below were mainly wardens, her inner circle standing behind her. Cullen stood on her left and Leliana on her right. Everyone was waiting for her to speak, so she cleared her throat.

“Today, I realized that stupidity is indeed the one thing that is probably the most dangerous in Thedas. Thanks to stupidity, many innocent people are killed. You stand here before me, the stupidest group of people I have encountered so far.”

The wardens fidgeted nervously, waiting for what was to come. Some lowered their heads but a few looked angry.

“It was stupid to believe all you had to do was go into the Deep Roads to find the Old Gods and kill them. It was stupid to believe that you could all end the Blights if you did this. In order to do this you listened to someone from _TEVINTER_ who taught your mages a spell to summon _demons_ from the Fade itself to help. This in itself is unacceptable.”

Beatrix took a deep breath and continued her speech.

“You said it was your duty. You said you were following orders. I’m still wondering what the _fuck_ you think duty is. If you see something is wrong but follow orders anyway just because they are orders, well. Let’s just say _that_ is a grave mistake. One that Warden Alistair never made.  I mean, who in their right mind would do the things you did? Summoning demons to go into the Deep Roads to kill the Old Gods is the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard. Not to mention the warriors who offered themselves as blood sacrifices in order for this to happen.”

Many more wardens were now looking down at the ground, unable to look at her, unable to face her.

“Many here would love for me to exile you. Even though I agree that you are a danger, I feel I cannot let you go. I fear you will do something even more stupid if I do. I cannot risk the lives of more innocents sacrificed by your stupidity. Also, the Inquisition _does_ believe in second chances. I believe in second chances. There is also the matter of the dragon that Corypheus commands. I am told the creature looks like an archdemon. If a Blight is upon us, it may be good to have you wardens around.”

One of the warriors stepped forward and knelt, and Beatrix felt her anger rise to the surface.

“Why the _fuck_ are you kneeling! Stand up, soldier!” she barked. The warden warrior stood up immediately and looked up at her.

“I speak for everyone when I say we want to repair the damage we have done, Inquisitor. We want to redeem ourselves,” he said in a loud, clear voice.

Beatrix nodded once.

“If this is true, then _work_ to redeem yourselves. You are still vulnerable, but you can fight the demons, am I right?

“Yes, Inquisitor, we can,” the warrior replied quickly.

Beatrix scanned the whole group of wardens before her.

“If there are some amongst you who do not agree with this, you are free to leave now,” she said. “But know this: if we find you doing more harm than good, we will kill you on sight.”

A group of at least a dozen wardens bowed and turned to leave. The rest stayed with the warrior who had spoken.

“Wardens!” Beatrix said loudly. “You are hereby conscripted into the Inquisition ranks and will be given duties accordingly. If you have at least _some_ common sense left in you, you may be able to redeem yourselves.”

She nodded and the wardens bowed and swore fealty to the Inquisition, then left the courtyard. Beatrix sighed deeply as Cullen took her hand and squeezed it. “I’ll go organize the soldiers and the wardens, love.”

She nodded and turned to her inner circle. Solas was looking at her curiously. He looked like he had something to say, but at that very same moment, Alistair stepped forward with a smile on his handsome face.

“Well, I can’t say I agree with it all, but it was the only possible outcome, wasn’t it?”

“You can leave if you don’t agree.”

Beatrix looked ready to dismiss him and Alistair held up his hands in a defensive gesture.

“Hey, now! Let me finish!” Alistair protested. “I don’t agree with all of it, meaning I would probably have exiled them all to Weisshaupt Fortress in the Anderfels. I happen to agree with the rest!”

Beatrix smiled at him and winked. “I know, Alistair. I was just teasing you.”

“Huh, good to know. You got me there for a second or two.”

Beatrix laughed. “I live to serve,” she twinkled. “Shame _you_ couldn’t see the expression on your face. Hilarious!”

“Ha, bloody ha,” Alistair deadpanned.

…

“Inquisitor, a word?” Solas said in a low voice as she walked off in the direction of the tents with Leliana by her side. She turned to the spymaster, who nodded and kept on walking.

“What’s on your mind, Solas?” Beatrix asked with a smile.

“Do you remember what happens when you are unconscious?”

Beatrix frowned. She knew she had been in her ‘happy place’ as she called it, and even knew that Solas had been there, but didn’t remember the conversation she had with him.

“We’ve discussed this before, Solas. I go to a place that is lovely and I feel safe there. I know you were there this time, but I can’t remember if we spoke or not, I’m sorry,” Beatrix replied. Then, after a short while, her eyes narrowed slightly. “Why are you asking?”

The elven mage seemed relieved, which puzzled Beatrix even more.

“The fact that you can create such a wonderful place in the Fade is curious. I cannot see how you – a human mortal – can perform such a task.”

“The first time I was there, I felt relieved, happy to be there,” Beatrix mused out loud. “I do remember I wanted to stay, but I felt threatened by a wolf. There was also a lady there, dressed in white.”

Solas nodded, tilting his head slightly as he observed her closely. She didn’t seem to be lying, but he knew very well that she could remember more if something happened to trigger her memory.

“A lady dressed in white?”

“Yes,” Beatrix replied. “I don’t think she was there this time. Did you see a lady in white when you…”she paused looking for the right word, “visited me?”

“No, I did not,” the elven mage said quietly.

“Were you there the first time?” Beatrix asked inquisitively.

“I am what your people call a ‘dreamer’, Inquisitor,” Solas commented. “I can walk the Fade in dreams and face anything there. This is how I found you this time. It seems you will remember only bits and pieces of what happened there for now. I do not know if this will change, or if you will remember more of your time there.”

Beatrix nodded even though he hadn't answered her question. At that moment, her eyes fell on the necklace Solas always wore. Her brow furrowed and Solas took several steps back.

“I’m sorry I interrupted you, Inquisitor. We can talk again at a later date, perhaps.”

Solas bowed to Leliana who was approaching them, and then inclined his head slightly while looking at Beatrix. He then turned and walked away.

“He looks worried,” Leliana commented.

“I think he is,” Beatrix frowned. “I just can’t seem to understand him completely. He speaks in riddles.”

“He does,” Leliana nodded in agreement. “Let’s hope we can discover what he is hiding soon.”

“I don’t think we will. He’s good at hiding things,” Beatrix grinned. “He’s also very good at not answering important questions.”

“He would have been a good bard,” Leliana chuckled. “I know I would have chosen him as one of my scouts if he wasn’t a mage.”

…

The way back to Skyhold was uneventful, but painfully slow as they were not only travelling with their army, but also with the remaining wardens. Cullen stayed at Beatrix’s side, but also visited his troops whenever he had the chance.

“I worry you’ll overexert yourself, Cullen,” Beatrix commented to him on the third day of their journey.

Cullen smiled and shook his head. “If I felt uncomfortable, I would have told you so.”

“Says the Commander of the Inquisition, who is looking deeply exhausted at the moment.”

“I’m never exhausted if you’re by my side,” Cullen stated in a loving tone.

Beatrix smiled shyly at his words. “That’s good to know, Commander.”

He took her in his arms, holding her close, then kissed the crown of her head gently.

“We’d better put up that tent, love.”

“Hmmm,” came Beatrix’s reply. “I feel so safe in your arms. So protected.”

Cullen gave a bark of a laugh and slowly leaned away.

“Oh, alright, alright,” Beatrix huffed out in mock annoyance. “I thought you _liked_ holding me.”

“If we’re in the right place and time,” Cullen grinned. “We’re in a campsite readying ourselves for tonight, remember? I have to help the soldiers after setting up a tent here for you.”

“Excuses, excuses,” she laughed up at him. “But this time, I’ll forgive you and let you go.”

“My lady is most kind,” Cullen murmured, bringing his lips down to hers for a kiss.

…

After two long weeks of travelling, they finally arrived at Skyhold. Beatrix sighed with relief, a hot tub of water the only thought on her mind. She handed her horse over to the stable boy and found Cullen standing beside her with a smile.

“I have to see that our army is settled, love,” he said as he stepped closer. “I also have to see what information Leliana can give me on those we lost.”

“That’s a terrible task. If you need me for anything, I’ll be in my quarters, taking a bath,” Beatrix grinned.

“That – um – image is not one I want in my head right now,” Cullen stammered. “I need to be focused.”

“Why Commander!” Beatrix exclaimed. “I’m saying nothing out of the ordinary!”

“Of course,” he said with a laugh as he pulled her close for a hug. “I’ll see you later, then.”

“I’m sure Josephine will have some information for us also. There’s a ball coming up at Halamshiral remember?”

“Did you have to remind me?” Cullen groaned.

Beatrix burst out laughing as she walked off towards the kitchens, hoping to grab a snack before heading to her quarters. She was home at last and this made her walk with a spring in her step.

After arriving at the kitchens, she managed to get the cook to give her a couple of rolls of bread and then continued, humming a happy tune as she entered the main hall. She ran into Vivienne and stopped with a smile on her face.

“I’m so sorry, Madame de Fer,” Beatrix quickly said. “I didn’t see you there for a moment. I hope I have not caused any permanent damage?”

The lovely mage gave her a smile, which was rare.

“I’m glad you did run into me, my dear,” she said in a sing-song voice. “I have a favor to ask of you if you can spare a moment of your time?”

“Of course, Vivienne,” Beatrix said, stopping at the door to her quarters. “What is on your mind?”

“There is an alchemical solution I must make, but one of the ingredients is hard to obtain,” Vivienne said, her ice-blue eyes fixed on her. “I had procured it, but the Spymaster informed me while we were travelling here that the people who were bringing it were killed in an ambush.”

“What is it that I have to get?” Beatrix asked, crossing her arms in front of her.

“The heart of a snowy wyvern, Inquisitor,” Vivienne replied. “It is the most dangerous of its kind, but I’m sure you will be able to hunt and kill it successfully.”

“Where do I have to go to kill it exactly?”

“You can find it in the swampy regions of the Exalted Plains,” the mage answered back quickly.

“I’ll head out first thing tomorrow,” Beatrix replied, which caused Vivienne to smile brightly at her.

“Thank you, my dear. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“I have an inkling, Madame Vivienne. You are not one to ask for favors, right?” Beatrix chuckled.

Vivienne’s smile disappeared immediately, but she did not reply. Instead she inclined her head and turned to walk away towards the stairs.

Beatrix watched her walk off with an amused expression on her face. Then she sighed as she finally opened the door to her quarters and stepped inside.

Whatever tomorrow would bring, the fact that she would have Vivienne indebted to her after she brought her the heart made her smile deepen. At the very least it meant that the mage would have to hold back any dismissive or sarcastic remarks while she was around.

And that, in itself, was something to look forward to indeed.

…


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a part in this chapter that is NSFW! It’s after the third break. So fair warning! If you do not wish to read smut, just jump over it all to the next break.
> 
> I had a very hard time with this chapter, because my muse suddenly went on a vacation and didn't invite me to tag along. Writer’s block is definitely the worse thing ever, even more so when you KNOW what’s going to happen in a chapter, but can’t find the words to write it all out!
> 
> Thanks SO much to all of you following this crazy tale, as well as LadyDarksbane who is so generously always there for me!
> 
> Feel free to comment. I love reading what you think!

…

Beatrix returned from the Exalted Plains nine days later, carrying the heart of the snowy wyvern, which she promptly gave to Vivienne, who in turn asked her to accompany her after she had finished her potion. She agreed and waited patiently. After a while, they both left for the Ghislain Estate, arriving after two days of travelling by carriage. 

What Beatrix saw caused her to reconsider what she had thought about Vivienne previously. She had thought this mage was a master manipulator who used _everybody_ for her own gain. In truth, she was wrong. There was one person at least, whom Vivienne adored beyond anything and everyone: The Duke of Ghislain, Bastien, who was lying on his bed, close to death. Of course, Beatrix knew Vivienne had probably used him as well. It wasn’t easy to get to the top and the Duke was a valued member of the Council of Heralds. His influence was probably what had also made her Court  Mage to Empress Celene as well. As much as Beatrix saw how deeply she loved Duke Bastien, she wasn’t naïve enough to think that his position of power amongst the nobility hadn’t played an important part in securing Vivienne’s place in the social ladder of Orlais.

When Vivienne had him drink the potion, she waited with bated breath to see if it had any positive effect. Unfortunately, the Duke passed away, after confessing his love to her. Vivienne had tears in her eyes and clung to Beatrix, who tried to comfort the lovely mage.

 Vivienne told her everything about the Duke while she made preparations for the wake and funeral, writing to his sister and his son immediately afterward. Beatrix helped in any way she could and for once, they got along quite well.

Beatrix stayed by her side even after the pyre was lit and all prayed for his soul. She met the Duke’s sister and his son, who were quite taken with her, even though she hardly said a word.

Ten days later, they both departed to return to Skyhold. When they entered the main hall once they arrived, Vivienne held out a hand to stop her from walking any further.

“Inquisitor, you have been there for me more than anyone I’ve known in a while during one of the worst moments in my life, if not the worst. I cannot express my appreciation for you or how much I have grown close to you because of this. It seems I misjudged you before, my dear,” Vivienne squeezed her hand. “I had this ring made by a Formari mage while we were in Val Royeaux, it is meant only for a true friend. You have been this to me, Inquisitor. Please take it.”

“I – I’m honored. Madame de Fer,” Beatrix stammered. It was weird for Vivienne to display affection towards anyone. But she decided to play along.

“Please, my dear. Call me Vivienne. ‘Madame de Fer’ is what the noble fools or the people who are afraid of me call me. You are _not_ a noble fool and I know that while I may sometimes annoy you greatly, you will _never_ be afraid of me.”

Beatrix grinned at that and squeezed her hand back, putting the ring on – immediately and successfully hiding her true thoughts from the lovely mage.  

_You’re quite right, Madame Vivienne. I’ll never be afraid of you after what happened in Val Royeaux. Wary, perhaps. But never frightened._

…

It was time to pass judgment on Livius Erimond. Nobody wanted to sentence him, but everyone wanted his head cut off. Beatrix frowned as she faced the vile Magister who had been responsible for so much death. She doubted he would feel any remorse.

The man was a monster.

Quietly she listened to his words of Tevinter Supremacy, of devotion to the Elder One, of his scorn against her and the Inquisition. She smiled when he was done and leaned forward, her eyes glittering dangerously as she sentenced him to death. He scoffed at her words, paling a little when she told him that it would be carried out immediately, leaving the best part for last.

 _She_ would be the one to execute him.

The people gathered together around the wooden dais that had been placed in the center of the main courtyard. They had dismantled one of the scaffolds they were using in order to use it as the place where Beatrix would execute Erimond. Cullen was there, of course, his grim expression making her smile grow as she climbed the wooden makeshift steps towards Erimond’s kneeling figure. Placing a foot on his back, she gestured at him to bend over even more, smiling in spite of the seriousness of the situation.

She unsheathed the sword that had been given to her upon accepting her role as Inquisitor, and took aim after donning the executioner’s mask one of the soldiers handed out to her. In her mind’s eye, she saw all the things Erimond had done and her anger poured forth onto the huge sword as she roared, bringing it down upon his neck. The cut was done cleanly, far too cleanly for someone as evil as he and the head rolled into the basket that had been placed below. She handed her sword over to one of her accompanying soldiers, asking it to be properly cleaned. There was no way she would touch it if that man’s blood hadn’t been cleaned off it.

Taking off the mask, she glanced at Cullen who was watching her closely, his eyes dark with something that looked like desire and smiled, feeling her heart thump a little faster.

She slowly went down the steps and stopped right next to him. Standing on the tips of her toes, she whispered something Cullen was not expecting at all.

“Take a bath, come to my quarters in an hour.” Her breath on his ear made him shiver slightly, his eyes widened briefly and locked with hers. He could see the desire in them and he felt himself getting harder by the minute.

He nodded, not trusting his voice to say anything at the moment and she gave him a smirk, then calmly walked away.

…

An hour later, freshly bathed, he stood outside the inner door to her quarters, summoning a great deal of courage in order to knock. It wasn’t that he was afraid, he was just entirely too excited and burning with anticipation. He rapped on the door a couple of times and waited.

“Come in, Cullen. The door is open.”

Upon hearing her muffled voice, he stepped inside accordingly. Before he had the chance to properly see or greet her, she had thrown herself into his arms and was kissing him with such passion he let out a groan, deepening the kiss.

Beatrix moaned through the kiss and started to walk backwards towards her bed, stopping only because she bumped into one of the tables beside the loveseat. She frowned at the offending piece of furniture and Cullen chuckled.

“Do I kill it for interrupting us, My Lady?” he asked with a smirk.

Her reply was to stand on her toes and capture his lips again in a searing kiss. Cullen moaned as their tongues danced. But when his hand slipped up to the nape of her neck, he saw how incredibly tense she was and broke the kiss, his worried eyes on hers.

“My love,” he rumbled, leaning away when she tried to kiss him again. “You’re very tense.”

“Maybe it’s because I keep getting hundreds of missions to go on,” she snapped. “Everyone in Thedas seems to think I’m not human enough to rest. Even my own companions are asking for help.”

Cullen frowned and sighed. “I’m sorry, love.”

“If you really _are_ sorry, then make love to me,” she said in a much gentler tone.

Cullen smiled at this, guiding her to her bed and sitting her down. His kiss was not demanding, nor was it overly passionate, but it made her mewl with desire. He felt his cock straining against his smalls and breeches, but this was about her, not him.

His hands quickly found the buttons to her long tunic and he unbuttoned it slowly, still kissing her. His hands found her breasts – she hadn’t been wearing a breast band which pleasantly surprised him. He moaned as she panted, while his lips began their journey from her cheek to her ear.

“As My Lady commands,” he murmured.

She was panting heavily as his mouth slowly descended, stopping only when it reached the valley between her breasts. She gave him a breathless, “OH!” when he took one nipple into his mouth and suckled it, his right hand now tweaking her right nipple at the same time. She arched up, melding herself into his chest.

She was lying on the bed now and he almost lost it when she mewled, biting her lower lip. Barely keeping his wits about him, his mouth continued to descend as he slowly and lovingly placed kisses and nipped her skin lightly, eliciting more moans from her.

Cullen was grateful that she had been wearing only her long tunic, soon discovering that she wasn’t wearing smalls. He smiled as he reached her dark curls, parting her folds to reveal her completely to him. His eyes were on hers, as she propped herself on her elbows to look at him.

“What are you go-“ She never got to finish her sentence as his mouth descended on her. Suckling on her nub, she moaned as she lay back on the pillows.

Cullen smiled to himself as one of his hands reached her entrance. Carefully and very slowly, his index finger pressed itself inside as he continued to lick and suckle her nub.

“Cullen! Oh, Cullen!” she suddenly yelled out as his finger entered her completely. He licked and suckled her nub again in response, while his finger went in and out. She was soaking wet and he focused on what he was doing, aiming to bring her over the edge.

“Come for me, my love,” he murmured as he now slid two fingers in, his licks and suckling making her arch up to him. But he held her steady as he continued his ministrations, until she was saying his name over and over – the sweetest song Cullen had ever heard as he gently reached the spot inside that would make her come.

And she did. In a matter of minutes she was rising up towards him, his name a litany on her lips. His hand was now covered with her essence – his tongue now lapping up her juices, moaning softly as he did.

_Maker! She was perfect! So beautiful!_

Very tenderly, he stopped his suckling and slowly kissed his way up to her mouth as she lay there panting, her eyes now holding his. He kissed her lovingly for a short while and she leaned back, breaking away from his kiss. She lay on the pillows still breathing heavily, her eyes twinkling like the brightest stars in the heavens.

“Cullen,” she whispered. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said capturing her mouth again in a tender kiss.

She broke away from his kiss once again, concern written all over her beautiful face. “But, why are you still dressed and what about you, don’t you-“

“Shhh, my love. This is about _you,_ not me,” Cullen whispered. “Making love should not be a stress reliever. Your first time should be special.”

“This _is_ special,” Beatrix started to protest, but Cullen smiled when she tried to unsuccessfully stifle a yawn.

“A nap is what would be most beneficial right now, love,” he stated, now kissing her cheek tenderly.

“But –“

Cullen silenced her with another kiss, then leaned back.

“I insist. Humor me,” he whispered, his amber eyes holding her sapphire ones.

She nodded and gave him a sleepy smile, then settled back on the pillows as he lay beside her, holding her hand and stroking her hair gently. In mere minutes she was asleep and Cullen sighed as he held her close, readying himself for a nap as well.

Unfortunately, there was a knock on the door and cursing under his breath, he stood up and walked towards it, hoping his anger would be enough to dissuade the person on the other side from bothering the Inquisitor.

…

 

Beatrix awoke to the darkness in her room, shivering slightly. Sitting up in bed, she saw the fire was out, but the balcony doors wide open. She looked around for Cullen, but found a note instead written in his large and slanted handwriting.

_My love,_

_Unfortunately, I had to tend to other matters and hope you will forgive me for not being there when you woke up. As you well know, reports keep piling up and I must not ignore this, lest I find myself drowning in parchment!_

_I’m extremely happy you finally got some rest. Allow me to take care of you every moment of our lives together. It would make me even happier than I am today._

_Josephine came by, but I said I would NOT wake you. She said something about a fitting for the dress you will be wearing at Halamshiral. I told her that she could speak to you about that in the morning after our meeting at the war table room. Even though she mentioned that the tailor had traveled without stopping to get to Skyhold, I did not listen and told her firmly you needed to rest._

_I asked the cook to have someone bring up something to eat. There's a plate with bread and cheese on it next to the fireplace and some fruit as well as pastries that she made today. Josephine also handed me a couple of reports for you to read. One from the tailor and the other from Leliana._

_Please continue to rest. No one will bother you at all, and I have placed a guard at your door to ensure nobody does._

_I’ll try to visit later._

_Yours always,_

_Cullen_

Beatrix sighed as soon as she finished reading the missive, thanking the Maker that she had someone like Cullen in her life. She folded the letter carefully and stood up from the bed, walking towards her desk. Opening a drawer, she deposited the letter inside. She turned to close the first set of balcony doors shivering in the cold night air, and then went back inside, spotting the plate Cullen had mentioned.

She could not, however, eat anything until she had a fire roaring in the fireplace, and she still needed to shut the second set of doors. Turning around after having successfully started a fire in the fireplace, she rubbed her hands in front of it for a few moments in order to get warm. Then she buttoned her tunic up and turned to walk across the room to close the balcony doors. Once there, she stepped outside briefly. 

There was light in Cullen’s tower, but as far as she could tell, it was the only sign that there was someone up and about. The courtyards were totally empty, save the patrolling guards. Maker! This could only mean that he was staying up far longer than he should and she worried this would make him ill. She had to talk to him about taking better care of himself. 

She stepped back inside, once again chilled to the bones and relaxed once the doors shut out the cold mountain air. Then she sat in front of the fire and ate.

Once her meal was done, she went up to her tub, filling it with water and saw that the fire rune still gave out heat, which meant a nice, hot bath would soon be ready for her.

Since she had a while to wait for the water to heat up, she read Josephine’s missive, realizing Halamshiral was only a week away. Groaning, she put the parchment on the small table beside her bed and read Leliana’s, standing up quickly as she reread it with her eyes wide open.

Shit! This was _all_ she needed in the already busy schedule she had.

Her parents were coming to Skyhold to visit.

…

Beatrix practically ran into the war table room the following morning, arriving out of breath. The three advisors looked up from reading one of the reports at the same time, Cullen’s lips immediately turning up at the corners into a lopsided grin.

The kind that made her melt, of course.

She felt herself blush as she spoke, Leliana unsuccessfully trying to hide her smirk behind one of her gloved hands.

“I – I’m sorry I’m late, but FUCK! I read your report, Leliana!”

Beatrix suspected everyone knew, but this was not the case.

“Your parents should arrive here two days before our trip to Halamshiral, Inquisitor. They claim to have an invitation to the Winter palace, so I took the liberty of suggesting we all go together,” Leliana stated, her eyes on Cullen, who was standing even straighter than he usually did.

“Your parents are…coming to Skyhold?” Cullen asked weakly, his hand tightly clutching the hilt of his sword.

“You didn’t know?” Beatrix asked immediately, her eyes flicking back to Leliana as the bard tried to avoid bursting out laughing, a chuckle escaping her lips in spite of this.   

“No! I didn’t!” Cullen shot out, his voice raising an octave.

He cleared his throat nervously.

“Well, I did!” Josephine added, looking at all their faces and finally realizing Leliana had kept the Commander in the dark about this on purpose. Her hand flew to her mouth, stifling the giggles that threatened to spill.

“Ugh! I’m sorry Cullen,” Beatrix said quickly. “I didn’t know myself until I woke up in the wee hours of the morning and read Leliana’s report.”

“You sent a report?” Cullen asked in shock as he looked at Leliana. The bard only winked at him with a wide grin on her face.

“The messenger might not have found you. After all, Commander, nobody knew you were in the Inquisitor’s quarters, hmmm?” Leliana answered sweetly.

Cullen flushed bright red at this all the way down to his neck, including his ears. He cleared his throat again, seemingly at a loss for words.

Beatrix shook her head and sighed, a smile on her face.

“I would have told you sooner, but I lay down to take a short nap in the early hours of the morning, or so I thought. The bath I took relaxed me too much, I’m afraid. You _definitely_ succeeded in helping me relax, Commander."

Cullen now was on the verge of turning purple. His eyes looked around the room, desperately searching for a distraction. Anything to keep his attention from the looks he was now getting.

“Oh, but it seems that the Iron Bull has effectively contacted you, Leliana?” Beatrix added holding a parchment up, giving Cullen a momentary respite.

“Yes, Inquisitor. He proposes an alliance, and I must say this is something that would benefit the Inquisition immensely.”

“I agree,” Josephine intervened as she scribbled away on the parchment that was fixed onto her clipboard. “We would gain a great deal of insight into Venatori operations, since the Qunari spies are constantly on their tails.”

Cullen, who had succeeded in calming down a bit, spoke up.

“All the same, I would suggest caution. I was there in Kirkwall when the Qunari invaded. They have a certain way of thinking that doesn’t always seem trustworthy. They could betray us readily if it were convenient for them to do so.”

“I agree, Commander,” Beatrix said with a nod, her eyes warmly regarding them. “I’ll speak to Bull immediately and set up a party to travel to the Storm Coast right after the ball at Halamshiral.”

“You won’t be talking to the Iron Bull right now, Inquisitor,” Josephine quickly said. “The tailor is here and I aim to make sure your measurements are taken. Halamshiral is only a week away and you _WILL_ have the most beautiful gown in Orlais.”

Beatrix sighed, refusing to look at Cullen who had just chuckled softly.

“All right, all right. I’ll get this fucking thing over with. Lead the way.”

…

_“Cullen, I’m here for you, my love,” Beatrix said softly as she put her hands on his arms, trying to pull him closer._

_“No! NOT HER, NOT HER!” He was shouting now, the sword he held up slicing her nearly in half. He saw the surprised look on her face, suddenly aware that it really had been Beatrix and not the desire demon._

_NO! He screamed inwardly, trying to hold her, trying to stop all the blood from flowing out of the wound._

He sat up in bed, practically bathed in cold sweat, his heart hammering loudly in his chest.  He was breathing heavily and stood up far too quickly, the room suddenly spinning before him. He had to get outside. He needed some fresh air.

Still gasping for breath, he automatically reached for his breeches and long tunic shirt, hastily dressing. Climbing down quickly, he opened one of the doors to the battlements wide, stepping outside. It was bitterly cold, but Cullen didn’t even notice. His skin was flushed and he was burning from the inside out.

Turning his head slightly, his eyes fell on Beatrix’s double balcony doors. One of the bad headaches started suddenly, roaring to life as he noticed there was still light in her quarters. He was leaning against his closed door, unable to even take a step, trying unsuccessfully to avoid the images of his nightmare that now flashed in his brain.

Should he go to her quarters? She was awake. He always felt better when she was beside him.

As if on cue, the door to Solas’ rotunda opened and Beatrix stepped out into the walkway, immediately noticing Cullen leaning on the door and gazing at her with desperation. She quickly ran to him and he took her in his arms, shaking so violently that she leaned back, the concern and fear for him written all over her face.

“Cullen, my love!” Beatrix’s cool hands touched his face, and one of them his forehead. “You are burning up with fever!”

“Lyrium withdrawal, not fever,” he managed to murmur, disengaging himself quickly from her arms before he started to vomit over the battlements, grasping the stone wall to keep himself upright.

“Dorian has a special tea for bad headaches, I’ll – “ Beatrix began and Cullen shook his head as he tried to stand upright, swaying slightly on his feet. “You stubborn oaf! Get inside, and wait for me! I’m bringing the tea and Solas! He’s a competent healer!”

“No, I – I,” Cullen managed to say, but Beatrix paid no heed, and held the door open for him, leading him back inside.

“Please, my love,” she said immediately after she helped him climb the ladder to his loft. “Let me take care of you, just like you take care of me, yes?”

They reached his bed and Cullen sat down.

“Alright,” he mumbled softly, feeling slightly better already in spite of his raging headache.

She helped him lie down, whispering words of love and encouragement to him and kissed his hot forehead, then hurried down the ladder, disappearing from view.

Cullen sighed to himself, then started to shake, grinding his teeth. Beatrix had such a calming effect on him, he knew that her presence alone would help him overcome this night, even though she was bringing help.

And he would never cease to thank the Maker for her.

Never. 

…


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a few words before you start reading the chapter, lol.
> 
> ‘Love Me Forever’ is Part 1 of a series called “Inquisition Revisited”. After this fic is finished, I will continue with Part 2 which is a modern Thedas AU with Beatrix and Cullen as the main protagonists. I have always had this idea when I planned my Inquisition fic, and am grateful that I can write about my two favorite characters. Part 3 is all of the short stories I’ve planned, one of them has already been written and is posted on Fanfiction. I have hundreds of short stories planned and written out in my head. Some deal with Cullen and his romance arc, some with Dorian and the male Inquisitor, some with the Iron Bull and so on.
> 
> In other words, I’ve created monster, hahaha! Take that Frankenstein! :P
> 
> Thanks so much for all your feedback and lovely comments! A special thanks to my wonderful friend and editor, LadyDarksbane, who is always there for me!
> 
> Please feel free to leave a comment – I really appreciate your feedback!

…

After a grueling night of pain, Cullen had finally fallen asleep when both Dorian and Solas had succeeded in making the lyrium withdrawal symptoms almost disappear. When he had started to protest upon their arrival, Dorian had flicked a dismissive hand at him.

“Oh, please,” Dorian had chided. “Do you honestly believe we hadn’t guessed already you are off lyrium? We’re intelligent beings, Commander. There _is_ some common sense in us after all. Now shush and behave like a good boy.”

Cullen opened his eyes to the sunlight and a weight around his left leg the next morning. Turning his head slightly, he found Beatrix fast asleep on his bed. She was wearing nothing but a long tunic, which he instantly recognized as his. She was sleeping on her side, turned towards him, one of her shapely legs over his left one. He felt his heart start thumping as the blood rushed south, directly to his groin.

Groaning inwardly to himself, he realized he had to leave if he wanted to preserve his sanity. The whole thing was tempting, far too tempting, and he could barely keep his will and emotions in check. Maker help him, did she have to look so beautifully innocent?

Straining to leave the bed, he inched along as much as he could without disturbing her. He was about to grab her leg gingerly when there were three loud knocks on one of the doors to his office below that resonated loudly, right up to his loft. He closed his eyes briefly, willing the other person to leave. But it seemed he would have no such luck.

He heard the door opening then closing. Then the Spymaster’s voice floated up to him.

Shit. It had to be Leliana. Of course it did.

“Commander, are you awake? I heard what happened and wanted to check in on you,” the bard called up from below.

Beatrix opened her eyes and smiled at Cullen who had been looking at her directly.

“Ah, yes, Leliana, I’m feeling fine this morning, thank you,” Cullen said in a loud voice, only to suddenly see that she was already climbing the ladder to his loft. Beatrix rapidly covered herself with the blankets and giggled.

“Oh!” Leliana cried out in what seemed to be surprise. Cullen wasn’t fooled. He knew full well that she probably already knew the Inquisitor had been here all night. “I did not know the Inquisitor was here. Good morning, Beatrix.”

“Good morning, Leliana,” Beatrix replied with a laugh. “I trust you slept well?”

“Not as well as you, apparently,” Leliana replied, her blue eyes twinkling merrily as she looked at them both.

“Maker’s breath,” Cullen muttered in a low voice.

Beatrix burst out laughing as she rose from the bed, quickly picking up what she had been wearing the night before.

“Commander, if you are well enough to get up this morning, I have two reports waiting on your desk,” Leliana said. “One of them requires your immediate attention. The Inquisitor’s parents are on their way to the main gates as we speak, though still a great distance away.”

“What!” Cullen exclaimed, his eyes opening wide.

“Oh, dammit!” Beatrix exclaimed at the same time. “Weren’t they supposed to arrive tomorrow?”

“Apparently, they have some of their faster horses pulling the carriage. They made no stops when they reached Orlais,” Leliana informed him, her eyes resting on Cullen’s face who was now scowling as he put on a shirt and quickly began to button it up.

“I see,” Beatrix replied, pursing her lips. “I’ll dress immediately then head to my quarters for a bath. I should be in the main courtyard just in time to see them arrive.”

“I’ll be there with you,” Cullen promised as he finished putting on his armor, then donned his famous red cloak. “I’ll take a quick bath in the barracks first.”

…

By the time the carriage had arrived in Skyhold, both Beatrix and Cullen were standing before the gate in the main courtyard. Leliana was also there, accompanied by Josephine. It was clear that they wanted to lend their support, although Leliana constantly grinned whenever she looked at the Commander.

The carriage door opened and the footman held out a hand. Lady Trevelyan was helped down the steps and rushed forward to embrace her daughter and her husband stood behind them both with a smile on his face. Maximillian, Beatrix’s eight-year-old brother, moved closer to his father. He was looking up adoringly at Beatrix, waiting for his turn to be greeted.   

“My dear child!” Beatrix’s mother exclaimed several times. “How I have missed you!” 

Cullen smiled at the display of affection, noticing how Beatrix and her mother looked so very much alike. In fact, it could be said that Lady Trevelyan looked like Beatrix’s older sister instead of her mother. Later, Beatrix would tell him that her mother married her father when she was sixteen and had her the following year. For now, he just enjoyed the love that could be felt all around. It certainly was a close family. Her father, a man with graying dark brown hair and piercing dark blue eyes, held her close and Beatrix finally bent down a little to give her youngest brother a quick hug after he released her.

“I’ve missed you all so much!” Beatrix said happily. She stepped back and took Cullen by the arm, pulling him beside her. “This is Cullen Stanton Rutherford, Commander of the Inquisition forces. Cullen, my mother Lady Eleanor Trevelyan, and my father, Bann Alexander Trevelyan.”

Cullen took Lady Trevelyan’s hand and bent down to kiss her knuckles with a smile. Much to his surprise she giggled and then retrieved her hand with a blush. “You’re right, my dear. He _is_ a handsome one,” she said in an aside to her daughter, but her voice carried clearly to the whole group.

It was Cullen the one doing all the blushing now. Leliana giggled behind him and Josephine seemed to be biting her lip in order not to laugh.

Bann Alexander Trevelyan stepped forward and shook Cullen’s hand heartily. “Ex-templar, boy?” He asked. But before Cullen could answer affirmatively, Beatrix intervened.

“Father!”

She shook her head, but her father merely shrugged.

“Just merely checking the facts, my dear. You look so well,” her father smiled at Beatrix again. “I daresay the cold mountain air suits you.”

“Beatrix, can I go see the horses, please?” Maximillian interrupted and grinned at Cullen when he was introduced.

“Sure you can!” she replied ruffling his hair as he leaned back with a scowl, then turned to run towards the stables. Beatrix, on the other hand, turned to introduce Josephine and Leliana. Once they were done with all the pleasantries, she led her parents up the stairs into the Main Hall of the fortress. Lady Trevelyan, in the meantime, had already started chatting with her daughter about the dresses she had brought for the upcoming ball at the Winter Palace.

Cullen followed in silence, suddenly noticing that Beatrix’s father was actually walking beside him.

“Beatrix wrote to us about you,” he spoke after a few moments. “You’re from Ferelden, aren’t you?”

“Yes, Ser,” Cullen replied. “My family is living in South Reach now, but I was born and lived in the village of Honnleath until I was thirteen and the templars recruited me.”

Beatrix’s father smiled back at him, but made no comment. Cullen felt uncomfortable all of a sudden and Bann Tevelyan did not speak to nor look at him again. They stepped into the inner garden and her mother instantly fell in love, calling the garden ‘quaint’ and ‘romantic’. 

“Where is Andras? I remember in one of your letters that he was with you in Skyhold. You wrote that he had joined you during the attack on Haven,” Lady Eleanor said, turning to face her daughter. “And you didn’t mention him at all in the letters that followed.”

Beatrix’s face fell, but then she shook her head and smiled at her mother.

“Mother, we have _a lot_ of catching up to do. Andras isn’t here at the moment,” she swallowed, unable to hold her mother’s gaze and hurriedly leading them up the stairs to the battlements. “I’ve had a tower prepared and furnished especially for you. Come, it isn’t far. I’m sure you want to freshen up and unpack after the long journey. We can talk after dinner tonight.”

“Don’t tell me you two fought again!” Beatrix’s mother exclaimed, facing her daughter.

Cullen could tell this was going to get emotional and immediately placed himself beside Beatrix, silently looking directly at her mother who was now narrowing her eyes at Beatrix.

“Mother, please, just let me guide you to the tower, we can speak more there,” Beatrix pleaded.

After a short while, her mother finally relented and agreed to let herself be led to the tower where they would be staying.

Cullen exhaled deeply, suddenly realizing he had been holding his breath, following Beatrix and her mother closely as they made their way to their destination.

…

As soon as they had gone inside the tower, Lady Trevelyan turned to face her daughter, who looked like she was on the verge of crying. All at once she took her daughter into her arms for a quick embrace.

“What’s wrong, darling?” she asked in a concerned voice. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Leliana and Josephine stood quietly by and Cullen moved again to stand by Beatrix, wishing he could take her in his arms and comfort her. Bann Trevelyan, in the meantime, had made his way to a stuffed chair and sat down on it, his gaze fixed intently at the scene before him.

Beatrix broke down and sobbed as her mother let her go.

“I’m so-sorry mother,” she managed to say after a while. “Andras betrayed us. He is with the enemy and no longer by my side.”

“What?!” Beatrix’s father exclaimed angrily, standing up quickly.

“No! That can’t be!” Lady Trevelyan exclaimed, turning so pale, she looked almost white. “He’s a good boy, why would he do this?”

Cullen intervened, giving Beatrix a momentary respite.

“Lady Trevelyan, the templars who are against us have been ingesting red lyrium. This concoction is far more addictive and is highly dangerous as well. The templars who take it…change. They are no longer what they used to be. The Inquisitor found her brother drinking a vial of red lyrium. Apparently, he had been given orders to meet us at Haven and follow us wherever we went. I personally suspect the enemy needed to know where we were relocating.”

Cullen’s explanation was met with silence.

Beatrix turned to Cullen, tears streaming down her face. “Thank you. Cullen. I think I need to be alone with my parents, now.”

“Yes, Inquisitor,” Josephine nodded, turning to Leliana who inclined her head. Cullen stood quietly there for a few moments then turned to leave, following both the Spymaster and Ambassador and shutting the door behind him.

Even though Beatrix’s request hurt him slightly, he understood why they needed some time to themselves. They needed to hear the whole truth directly from Beatrix. They needed to hear about the monster they were fighting. They needed to hear the changes that red lyrium produced on those addicted to it. They also needed to understand that they had lost Andras, and possibly mourn him, even though he wasn’t dead.

But Andras _was_ dead.

He died when he took that first vial of red lyrium.

…

Beatrix had invited her entire Inner Circle for dinner at the grand main hall, and Josephine had seen to it  that they had the best of everything in Thedas, decorations included. Both the Bann and his wife looked regal, dressed in their best, while Maximillian was frowning because he had been made to wear _his_ best. Beatrix had a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, and Lady Trevelyan chatted all the while with both Dorian, who was seated on her right and Beatrix, on her left. Cullen sat across them both, keeping his eyes on Beatrix as much as he could.

Even though the intention was to have a pleasant meal, the whole atmosphere was somber and charged up – as if it was ready to explode. Cullen sat as straightly as he could trying to respond to Lady Trevelyan’s questions about his childhood first, then his siblings and finally his life as a Templar. It was at this moment that Bann Trevelyan, who was sitting on the left of Beatrix, chose to speak.

“Tell me, Cullen,” he spoke out loudly, his gaze fixed on Cullen. “What are your intentions regarding my daughter?”

The whole room was suddenly silent, and Cullen sat frozen to his seat, his eyes on the Bann as his blush started to creep all the way up to his face and ears.

Sera giggled and Dorian suddenly developed a cough that sounded much like a short laugh, but the rest of the room was painfully silent, everyone expectant on Cullen’s answer.

Cullen cleared his throat.

“My…intentions?” he echoed dumbly, his face a deep burgundy. Varric groaned and Sera let out a raspberry, which caused both Cassandra _AND_ Vivienne to glare at the blond elf at the same time, who promptly stuck out their tongue at them.

“Do I have to repeat myself? Beatrix told us you were smart, Commander!” Bann Trevelyan replied, anger lacing his sentences.

“Father!” Beatrix protested with wide angry eyes, but Alexander Trevelyan held up a palm in her direction, gesturing for silence without even glancing at his daughter.

“Alexander, Beatrix is old enough to – “ Lady Trevelyan began, but the Bann cut her sentence short.

“He was a templar. I _must_ know what he intends, Eleanor!” 

“I’m no longer taking lyrium, and therefore will never succumb to red lyrium if that is your concern,” Cullen replied, prompting the Bann to look at him again.

“Do you _honestly_ think that you won’t become a Red Templar?” the Bann queried angrily.

“If that should happen I would leave Skyhold never to return or kill myself. I would never hurt Beatrix or put anyone here in danger of myself,” Cullen replied quietly, turning to look at Beatrix lovingly. “I love her too much to hurt her.”

While the admission of Cullen’s love didn’t surprise anyone in the room, the Bann’s next words stunned them all to silence.

“If this is true, then you should end your relationship with her immediately!” the Bann exclaimed, standing from the table and looking down at Cullen with stormy eyes.

“Alexander!” Eleanor Trevelyan exclaimed. “You should _NOT_ interfere! She is old enough to – “

“She isn’t old enough to die, Eleanor!” the Bann interrupted. The man stood there for a short while, gazing at his wife. Then he spoke directly to Josephine. “I thank you for your lovely meal, Ambassador. I’m afraid I must retire.”

Without another word, he turned and marched out of the main hall, heading directly to the tower where they were staying.

The silence at the table was deafening for several long minutes.

“Well,” Varric said loudly with a sigh. “Whoever is thinking of calming the Bann, good luck! Looks like you’ll be needing shitloads of it.”

…

Beatrix paced in front of the blazing fire in her room unable to quiet her thoughts. She had just witnessed the worst display of temper from her father. She felt herself grow angry and ended up overturning the small table next to the love seat in the room, the objects on it falling to the floor. At that very same moment, a series of soft knocks on the door made her stop and walk towards it instead, flinging it open.

Cullen stood there, unable to say a word. He stepped into the room and took her into his arms.

“Cullen,” Beatrix managed to say after a short while. “I’m _so_ sorry about my father.”

“Hush, love,” he crooned, kissing the crown of her head gently as he rocked her in his arms. “It isn’t your fault.”

“I know, I just – “ she stopped and looked up, directly into his sad eyes. “What? Why are you looking at me like that, Cullen?”

“Maybe he’s right, love. I could hurt you and, and I’d never be able to live after that.”

“No!” Beatrix’s eyes widened with fear. “You get that horrible idea out of your head this instant, Cullen Rutherford! I will _NOT_ let you end this!”

Cullen sighed and moved to pull her closer, but Beatrix leaned back, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.

“Do _NOT_ stand there and tell me you came here to end this!”

“I thought I would, but I can’t Beatrix, I just can’t! I love you too much, I –“

Beatrix stood on the tips of her toes, a kiss interrupting what Cullen was saying. He kissed her back with all the love, longing and passion he could muster and she hummed, prompting a hum from him as well.

They sat on the love seat, still holding each other, their kisses fueling the passion between them.

“Beatrix, I –“

A knock on the door interrupted whatever Cullen was going to say and she stood up to open it. Her parents walked silently into the room.

“Beatrix,” her mother said, her eyes falling on her husband, who looked troubled.

“I’m sorry I lost my temper that way, Princess,” her father said contritely, interrupting Lady Trevelyan. The Bann then fixed his stare on Cullen, who rose from the love seat and stood quietly beside Beatrix. “But I will keep my thoughts about you, Ser. I don’t feel I can trust you yet. We shall see what happens in the future.”

Cullen inclined his head respectfully, but kept quiet.

“Let me make something clear to you,” the Bann continued. “If you hurt my daughter in any way, I shall personally kill you. Understood?”

Cullen stared back – bold, unflinching and undaunted.  

“Understood.”

…

The morning before their departure to Halamshiral, Beatrix found herself rushing to the room where she was scheduled a fitting with the tailor and Josephine. It was to be the last one for the dress was all ready and they merely wanted to see how it looked on her.

She was hurrying as much as she could, her thoughts on the recent developments between her parents and Cullen when she inadvertently ran into Sera in the main hall.

“Then there’s you, yeah?” Sera chortled, looking at Beatrix with a twinkle in her eyes.

“Sera,” Beatrix said as she tried to resume walking with no such luck as the blond elf stood in front of the door to the garden, impeding her pass. She knew very well what Sera had in mind, the twinkle in her eyes had told Beatrix everything.

“Come on!” the blond elf said. “Been a while, yeah?”

“I can’t stop what I’m doing and run off to do pranks!” Beatrix started to protest. “I’m the Inquisitor!”

“Pfft! That’s why you _have to_ do pranks!”

Beatrix’s only response to that was a roll of her eyes.

“It’ll be fun, yeah? Only one!” the blond elf almost pleaded.

“You said that the last time, and it ended up turning into three!” Beatrix replied, crossing her arms in an attempt to look angry.

But Sera would not be fooled. She knew very well that above all, Beatrix loved the pranks they had played on the advisors in the past.

Beatrix sighed and shook her head. “Alright! But just _ONE_!”

…

A short while later, Cullen emerged from his office, only to be doused from above by what felt like a bucket full of water. Completely drenched, he looked up to see a blue sky above him, not a cloud visible for miles.

“Sera!” he yelled as he heard giggling on the tower roof. He hurried down the steps to look for the elf, who he knew would be running to her room above the tavern. In his haste, he forgot all about his hair…and how he’d look after the dousing. Flinging the door to the tavern open, he stomped inside, completely unaware of what he was walking into.  

Varric turned to look at him, breaking into the widest grin he’d seen in a while. Bull let out a guffaw and the Chargers all twittered from their seats, two of them raising their glasses as they snickered.

Cullen blinked back, unaware that his curls had sprung to life and were now decorating his head wildly, frozen in place due to the cold mountain air. He stomped up the stairs and towards Sera’s room. He did not knock, but flung the door open wide.

Sera and Beatrix, of all people, stood there staring at him. Sera broke into a peal of laughter while Beatrix suddenly bit her lip, the laughter still bursting out in spite of this.

“Curly!” Beatrix managed to scream as she continued laughing out loud. “Varric is right!”

Her scream and words resonated throughout the tavern, causing everyone on the ground floor to burst out laughing as well. Only then did Cullen realize why everyone was snickering or laughing at him. His hand automatically went up to his hair, touching the wild curls as he cursed.

“Maker’s breath!”

Glaring at both the elf and Beatrix, he turned around holding his head up high and went up the stairs to the top floor, passing by Cole without a glance and trying to look as nonchalant as he could, but failing miserably.  

He’d get the elf with a prank of his own one day even if it was the last thing he did.

…


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance for taking so long to post this chapter, I actually wanted to post it two days after the previous one, but I was suffering again from a mild case of writer’s block and my health hasn’t been exactly perfect either! So, I’ve finally managed to get this done today! Yay!
> 
> Once again thanks to all of you for being so sweet in commenting and giving my crazy fic kudos as well as bookmarking it! A huge thanks to Lady Darksbane as well, who helped me tremendously today!
> 
> This chapter is all about Halamshiral. I disliked that mission/quest with a passion, especially due to the stupid time limits everywhere. I also hate the Game the Orlesians play, much like Beatrix! LOL! So this is how I think it would have gone for my potty-mouth, angry Inquisitor!
> 
> I hope you enjoy! Feel free to add any comments/feedback. I love reading them! :D

…

The trip to Val Royeaux was uneventful.  Cullen rode his horse with some of his soldiers, but occasionally galloped forward to ride beside the Trevelyan carriage. Beatrix, her parents and Josephine sat in it and spoke no more than the usual pleasantries.

In short, the whole atmosphere inside the carriage was silent and uncomfortably awkward. The tension in the air was so thick, you could probably cut it with a knife. Beatrix turned to look at her father, who sat straight, his gaze lost to the images flashing outside the window.

She was getting extremely annoyed at his whole attitude and had to work hard to calm her anger several times as they got closer to their destination.

The grand Orlesian capital city of Val Royeaux gradually came into view. Halamshiral was to the north, a three-hour drive. Because their invitation was to the masquerade ball and not to stay at the Winter Palace itself, they arrived at the Trevelyan estate instead where they would rest up and ready themselves for the evening event.

The Trevelyan estate was large and lavish, about a few miles away from Val Royeaux, but still within the city limits. Its beautiful white structure stood out in the green landscape and it loomed over the rest of the mansions around. The horses pulling the carriage cantered along a circular path that led them directly to the massive front door of the estate.

Before they left the carriage, however, Beatrix held out a hand to her parents, gesturing them to stay behind as Josephine gracefully let herself out. Her mother turned a puzzled look at her, while her father decided not to look at her at all, as if sensing what was coming.

“I’d like to let you both know that Cullen and I are in love. We will be together always whether you approve or not, Father. I know you are behaving this way because of…Andras, but I will not let you ruin what is between us because you are overprotective.”

Her father said nothing to this, but he turned his head to look at his daughter. His eyes flashed with fury, but Beatrix also saw the sadness in them.

“You cannot keep me from living, just because I am in danger of dying. I was made Inquisitor and can die at any given moment, with Cullen or without. Bad things happen. They happened to Andras. I can die before or when I face Corypheus. It is out of your hands. If I can be happy beside the man I love, I will _not_ let _you_ get in the way. Even if you never speak to me again. That’s all I wanted to say.”

Her mother squeezed her hand and smiled at her before leaving the carriage. Her father, however, merely nodded and stepped outside without a backward glance.

Cullen had approached the carriage and was dismounting his horse when he came face to face with the Trevelyans. Lady Trevelyan smiled sweetly at him, a smile which he returned immediately. Bann Alexander, however, walked pass him without even acknowledging his presence. Cullen shook his head slightly and walked to the door of the carriage, extending a hand to help Beatrix out.

She grasped his hand as she left the carriage and stood in front of him with a slight frown on her face. Standing on the tip of her toes, she kissed him briefly, sighing afterwards.

“I suppose you’ve figured out where my stubbornness comes from,” Beatrix commented with another sigh. “Father is terrible once he’s made up his mind…

…

Halamshiral was built by the elves. The Winter Palace, however, was built by humans, so it was like an ostentatious mark amidst the peaceful greenery of the Dales. Beatrix looked up through the window of the carriage, her eyes sweeping over the grandeur of the place. Golden filigree around many of the golden lion statues caught in the moonlight and sparkled, shining brightly – golden even in the darkness of night.

Her dress was making it difficult to breathe at times, but she smiled when she briefly remembered the look Cullen had given her when he saw her. It made all the discomfort of wearing it worthwhile. It hugged her in all the right places and fell gracefully around her, covering the tips of her dancing shoes. Shoes that were uncomfortable even when she was sitting.

She was glad she had brought her armor and boots to change into for they were here to protect the Empress from an assassination plot. She didn’t think she’d need the dress once that was accomplished anyway.

Her mother was chatting in a low voice with Josephine and Leliana, but the Bann had kept his eyes on the landscape passing by through the window. Lost in his thoughts, Beatrix had observed him quietly at times, wondering briefly if he’d ever talk to her again. She shrugged to herself and continued to observe the Winter Palace from her window, growing closer by the minute.

When they finally arrived, Cullen suddenly materialized at the door of the carriage, helping Leliana, Josephine and Lady Trevelyan out. He kept quiet as Alexander Trevelyan left the carriage, briefly nodding to him in acknowledgement, which seemed to sail right over the Bann’s head. Catching Beatrix at her waist, he lifted her out of the carriage, then embraced her quickly and was gone to tend to his soldiers.

Lady Trevelyan turned to her daughter and told her both her father and she would meet her inside. Beatrix nodded to this and gave her a brief hug before they turned and left her standing with Leliana and Josephine close behind her.

“Inquisitor,” Josephine cried out, prompting Beatrix to turn around and wait for her.

“Inquisitor, there is something we have to talk about before we get inside,” the Ambassador said, slightly out of breath. “We must speak about the game, and how you _must try_ to be as diplomatic as you can.”

Beatrix eyes flashed in the dark, but Josephine stood firmly in front of her. “I won’t move until we speak about it, Inquisitor.”

“It’s the only way to get inside and stay inside,” Leliana added, standing beside Josie. “You must watch your tongue and behave. We _must_ rescue the Empress as you well know.”

“Ugh!” Beatrix clenched her fists. “I hate playing the stupid game. I know how to play, alright? It just makes me SO angry!”

“Please save your anger,” Josie was now really pleading. “Do not let it come to surface or it will be us behind the assassination plot, and only because we won’t be there at all to save the Empress’s life.”

Beatrix sighed deeply. “I’ll ty to do my best.”

“No,” Leliana replied shaking her head. “You won’t _TRY_ to do your best, you _WILL_ be the best at the Game tonight.”

“Fuck,” Beatrix muttered.

“You can say _fuck_ all you want, Inquisitor, but you know very well what must be done. Even if you don’t want to do it,” Leliana calmly added.

“Yes, but please don’t use that word in front of the nobility tonight,” Josephine said nervously wringing her hands.

“UGH, FINE!” Beatrix said in a very loud voice as she turned and made her way inside the palace gardens and courtyards.

…

They marched directly inside and Beatrix stopped only when Josephine whispered that the man apparently waiting for them was Duke Gaspard de Chalons, the Empress’s first cousin. She then gave Beatrix a shove so that she could go ahead and greet the man in the golden mask who was looking straight at her.   
  
“Inquisitor,” he said as he took a deep bow with a flourish. “I am very glad you are here.”

Beatrix steeled herself. She didn’t like this stupid popinjay at all.

“Yes, well, I can think of a few places I’d rather be,” she said as she curtseyed. The Duke of Chalons chuckled to this, his eyes fixing themselves on the top of her gown where the creamy skin of her breasts pushed against the tightly fitted corset of her dress. He was actually ogling her. 

She didn’t like him one bit. 

“Allow me to express my profound surprise and amazement. I didn’t expect the Inquisitor to be so…alluring and lovely.”

Beatrix stiffened, getting angrier by the minute. She quickly inclined her head, wishing with all her might and soul this would be the end of the conversation and they would walk up the stairs leading into the Palace proper.

But that didn’t happen.

“I often find myself at a loss of words, especially before such beauty,” Gaspard said as he straightened to his full height, looking down at her with a smirk. “But I daresay the moment you walk into the ballroom on my arm will be exciting. I detest playing the Game, but might I suggest you play it tonight? I know Ostwick isn’t famous for its nobility and wonder if they play the Game at all?”

_That’s it!_

“Listen here,” Beatrix growled. “I didn’t come here to be mocked at because I come from Ostwick. I know how to play your stupid Game very well, but it looks like you don’t, you stupid mother-fucking popinjay. Your air of superiority is disgusting, so you can just kiss my ass, you prick!”

The words were out before she could stop them and she actually _didn’t_ want to stop them.

_How dare he make fun of Ostwick? Stupid twit!_

Josephine let out a strangled gasp behind her, but Beatrix didn’t even acknowledge it. She didn’t even hear Cullen chuckling. She was breathing heavily as she faced Gaspard de Chalons and did not take her eyes off him.

His expression changed; she could see the flash of anger in his eyes and how he pursed his lips into a thin line.

“I’m sorry we will _not_ get a chance to see how well you play,” Duke Gaspard said in a low, angry voice. “As of this moment, I rescind my invitation. You are no longer welcome here nor will you set foot inside the Palace. Good evening.”

…

Beatrix led them out of the outer gardens and turned to Josephine, Cullen and Leliana. The Ambassador was seething in anger, while Leliana merely gazed at her calmly. As for Cullen, he had a smile on his face.

“How could you have done this?” Josephine asked, her voice breaking a little at the end. “How are we going to save the Empress now?”

Beatrix shrugged, but was not prepared for what Cullen said next.

“He was…staring at her in a lascivious way, Lady Ambassador. I would have wrung his neck had she not said anything,” the Commander stated, calm but serious. “I would not let _anyone_ look at her body in such a fashion.”

Josephine merely sighed heavily.

“We can still save the Empress,” Beatrix stated. “All I have to do is find a way in for myself and some of my companions. We’ll fight whatever gets in the way and save the Empress’s life.”

“And just _how_ do you think you’ll be doing this?” Josephine nearly snapped.

“Have a little faith, Lady Ambassador,” Beatrix smiled warmly. “I know this place. I studied it when I was traveling Orlais to further my studies in History. There are places around the walls with trellises. Lots of trellises. We should be able to climb inside in no time at all.”

Josephine said nothing to this, but Cassandra, who had just reached the small circle of advisors nodded her head.

“It is a good plan,” she said simply. “I will go with you.”

“I’m also thinking about taking Dorian and Varric with me,” Beatrix stated, her brow furrowed.

“I think that is an excellent choice,” Cassandra nodded. “Well, except for the dwarf.”

Beatrix grinned at that and called out to the rest, explaining the plan to them in a low voice. Then she went into one of the tents to change into her armor. She was eager to do this. This dress was simply killing her. Besides, she couldn’t fight in it or defend herself.

“Time to go, beautiful,” she whispered as she started unclasping the buttons in the front.

…

By the time Beatrix had all of it figured out, she was walking towards a door on her left. The people she had encountered in the Royal Wing so far had filled the picture nicely for her. Briala, the Elven Ambassador, had been particularly forthcoming when they rescued one of the elven slaves from a certain death. Her candor didn’t surprise Beatrix at all because she had once been lovers with Celene.

The fact was that Beatrix found out that the three of them were playing each other and it made her angry. If they could only get together and stop their stupid quarrel, she had no doubt that Orlais could be better. And be better prepared to face Corypheus as well.

All this didn’t explain the fact that they had been running into Venatori agents all night, however. Now if only she could find out who _really_ was behind the assassination attempt, it would all be alright.

Shaking her head, she stopped at the door. Dorian stood beside her, his eyes twinkling.

“I’m sensing trap,” he told her with a wink. Then he turned to the door and nodded, tilting his head curiously. “Definitely a trap. Are you ready?”

“Always,” she grinned, opening the door and walking into what looked like an inner courtyard, instantly surrounded by Venatori archers, all aiming directly at Beatrix and her team. She looked up and found a rift cracking and popping all ready to be opened and then closed properly.

Beatrix grinned.

Behind the rift and slightly above it, she spotted the stone rails of an upper balcony. A woman with short blond hair, dressed in one of the most ridiculous dresses Beatrix had ever seen appeared, smiling down at her.

Beatrix’s grin widened as she quickly hid her left hand behind her back before the lady could see it. Her mark pulsed indignantly.

“Inquisitor Trevelyan, how nice of you to drop in,” the woman said in a loud voice. “ _You_ are trespassing. I believe my brother rescinded his invitation. I _did_ want to meet the woman who insulted him, however. Such a joy I can do this before you die.”

“I’m always ready to prove I’m a distraction,” she smirked. “I also love studying buildings. Is the Palace really this big? Big enough to hide an entire army of Venatori agents I mean.”

The woman on the balcony frowned a bit, but kept her composure. Beatrix admired her for it briefly.

“Allow me to introduce myself. I am Grand Duchess Florianne, Gaspard’s sister. And you are in the right place and at the right time, my dear Inquisitor. My master has been wanting to kill you for a very long time. He will be pleased to see I will succeed tonight.”

“You’re the one who’s planning to kill the Empress tonight, right?” Beatrix asked.

The Duchess laughed. A tinkling laugh that set Beatrix’s anger into overdrive.

“I cannot wait to see Gaspard’s face when he sees I have outplayed him. He always was such a poor loser.”

“You’re royalty! Why would you do this? What’s in it for you?” Beatrix demanded angrily.

“Why, the world of course!” Florianne replied with another smirk. “My master will rule from the Fade and I will rule Southern Thedas. None shall stand against us.”

Beatrix burst out laughing at this admission, which caused the Duchess to growl angrily at her.

“Kill her!” she commanded the Venatori in the courtyard. “And cut off the hand with the mark! My master will be pleased when he sees it.” Florianne walked off haughtily, disappearing from view.

The archers aimed directly for Beatrix, but missed her as she lunged forward into a summersault, coming to a stop directly under the rift and holding her mark out to open it. Immediately, the thing burst, hurtling demons into the courtyard that attacked everything in sight, killing several of the Venatori at once.

They fought the demons and what was left of the Tevinter forces and Beatrix closed the rift immediately afterwards. A man tied to a pole at one end of the courtyard struggled to break free from the rope that bound his hands around the pole. Beatrix hurriedly made her way over, releasing him. The poor man shook as he stood, gazing at her in awe.

Upon questioning him, Beatrix learned that he had been hired to attack and help in a coup Gaspard was planning. He told her that he knew about the Empress wanting to arrest him all along.

Beatrix nodded heading out of the courtyard with her team following closely behind.

“We’ll have to gather everyone and get inside,” she said to all of them, clenching and unclenching her fists as she walked. “The Empress will be dead if we don’t hurry.”

…

As soon as they climbed down the trellis and reached the Inquisition camp, Beatrix was stunned to see her parents standing in front of the fire pit they had built.

“What are you doing here?” she demanded. “You should get inside.”

“I came here to apologize for my behavior towards you, but I see you are in a bit of a predicament,” her father quickly supplied. “Allow me to assist you in getting inside. It’s the least I can do for you.”

They hugged each other and broke apart, Beatrix nodding as her parents led her, her team and advisors to the gates of the inner Palace. There was a solitary guard standing there. No one else.

“We need to get inside,” Bann Trevelyan began, the authority in his voice making the guard flinch a little.

“Nobody gets inside,” the man answered with a heavy Orlesian accent. “Those are my orders.”

“I know the Empress personally,” Lady Trevelyan chimed in. “She will want to see me inside.”

“No one gets inside,” the guard answered again calmly, stiffening slightly.

Beatrix gave a growl, stepping forward. There was no time to argue or discuss anything with this stupid specimen. The guard, noticing her bloody leather armor for the first time, widened his eyes slightly as she stepped closer to him.

Without a second thought at what she was doing, she suddenly took off the leather glove on her left hand and thrust the mark into his face. The guard took a couple of steps back as he was forced to look at it, the eerie green glow emanating from it pulsing repeatedly.

“You see this?” Beatrix growled. “ _THIS_ is extremely dangerous. I could use it right now to open a rift and the demons coming out of it would rip you to shreds before anyone came to help.” The guard visibly blanched at this. “So, your choice! Either you let us in, or die at the hands of the demons!”

“You may enter,” the guard said immediately, shivering in fear as he let them all pass.

…

In the end of the tumultuous evening, Beatrix managed to have Florianne arrested and spoke to the Empress, Gaspard and Briala in a secluded balcony close to the railing where the Empress was to deliver a speech to the nobility gathered below. She quickly asked the three of them to stop their petty arguing, and reminded them about the danger they were facing.

“If you don’t stop all this fucking nonsense, _ALL_ of us will die,” she raged. “There are more important things than the power you pursue. Open your bloody eyes already and realize that nothing will matter if Corypheus wins! Just rule together, and make Orlais great and unstoppable again!”

The three of them stared at Beatrix, the Empress finally nodding her head. “I feel we need to stop arguing, as the Inquisitor is suggesting. We will all die if we do not.”

Briala was the first to nod in agreement, her eyes on the Empress, eliciting a small smile from her. Gaspard shook his head, but smiled as well, turning to face Beatrix.

“You are remarkably convincing. And this is without playing the Game. I feel that you outplayed us all. Well done,” he said inclining his head slightly.

“I will let everyone know we will rule together. We must help the Inquisitor put an end to this Corypheus and his demons.”

Beatrix sighed with relief. At least there wouldn’t be any arguing until after Corypheus was defeated. And she would have the Orlesian army to help her out with that.

The Empress addressed the nobles and a dark-haired woman wearing a tightly fitted black and burgundy dress walked to stand in front of her.

“Inquisitor Trevelyan,” the woman said in a low voice. “I’ve been wanting to meet you since I heard all the rumors about you. I see that you are as formidable as they say you are. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Morrigan, and I am at your service. I will speak to you again later tonight.”

…

Beatrix sighed as she leaned on the stone railings of one of the outer balconies. The music from inside drifted towards her, but she only wished to be alone.

It had been a very long night.

Light footsteps made her turn and she faced Morrigan, who was approaching her with a smile on her face.

“The nobles are drinking and making toasts to you, Inquisitor and you are here? Do you tire of the celebrations?”

“They can stick their celebrations up their arses as far as I’m concerned.”

Morrigan shook her head with a smile. “I’m the arcane advisor to the Empress. I’ve come on her behalf to speak to you.”

Beatrix quickly remembered the words Cole muttered at Vivienne when they were in the Fade. “So you are serving the Empress instead of First Enchanter Vivienne, right?”

“The Empress felt that a change was necessary. She was more interested in glimpsing other facets of the supernatural and the arcane arts. I graciously accepted, although I have been here with her for a time long before she asked me to take the post.”

“And you are here in front of me because?” Beatrix asked a little impatiently.

Morrigan chuckled. “I see you are a direct person. I like that. I am here to lend the Inquisition my expertise to help you defeat Corypheus.”

Beatrix narrowed her eyes, her brow furrowed in thought. She realized that there was power emanating from the woman before her, but there was something else in those yellow eyes that gazed into hers. A deep glow that indicated knowledge. Superior knowledge.

“I was not aware that the Empress would do this,” Beatrix grinned. “I do, however, need all the help I can get. I trust you know about Corypheus? More than you are letting on?”

“Indeed,” Morrigan replied with a nod, her eyes still holding Beatrix’s.

“Welcome to the Inquisition, Lady Morrigan.”

“A most gracious response. I shall meet you at Skyhold,” the dark-haired beauty said, turning around and leaving. Beatrix sighed and leaned against the stone railings again. She felt incredibly burdened all of a sudden and incredibly exhausted.

How would she ever accomplish what she had set out to do, even with all the help she now had?

A voice cleared behind her and she knew who it was. Cullen stepped beside her with a smile, laying a hand on her shoulder.

“I finally found you,” he whispered leaning forward to kiss the crown of her head. Beatrix smiled as she leaned to him slightly, but she was still daunted by the tasks ahead of her. Still afraid of what was to come.

“Are you alright?” Cullen asked, his voice laced with worry.

“I’m fine, just…” Beatrix sighed. “Tonight has been very long.”

“For all of us,” Cullen agreed. The music coming from the ballroom suddenly stopped then started up again. Cullen smirked as he leaned back into a bow. Beatrix turned to gaze at him with surprise.

“I may not get another chance, so…would you do me the honor of granting me this dance, my Lady?”

Her heart soared. “I will, my Commander. Of course I will.”

Placing her hand in his he pulled her towards her in an embrace, leaning in to capture her lips in a sweet and chaste kiss before he started to sway to the music.

Beatrix smiled up at him, forgetting her previous discomfort. All her worries and fears and doubts suddenly vanished – the only thing that mattered was Cullen who was guiding her effortlessly in a dance that made her spirits soar.

She didn’t know if it was the only dance they would share, but she did know it would be the one thing that would keep her going for a very long time.

And this was enough for her.

…


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains smut and smexy times. It’s very explicit and NSFW, so if you’re reading it, make sure it isn’t in a public place, lol! Smexy times start after the fourth break. Wanted to write in Bull’s quest, but got carried away because…Cullen! :P
> 
> Thanks for all your comments, they are the best! MANY thanks to the ever lovely LadyDarksbane who helps me through the insanity of this fic and back!
> 
> Feel free to drop a comment, I love reading what you think! :D

…

Winter was already upon them by the time they got back from Halamshiral, but Skyhold rarely had snowfalls despite it being in the mountains. Solas said it had to do with the magic of the place. That suited her just fine. The trees still rustled around her on her walks and the skies were always a beautiful shade of light blue that made her spirits soar, even in the darkest of times.

She realized she loved this place. Her home. She never suspected she would call another place home in her lifetime. But here she was, and the feeling of home grew until she felt happy and comfortable and protected. She felt like Skyhold belonged to her and she belonged to it and couldn’t imagine a life without it.

Not anymore.

She went up the stairs to the battlements and took in the scenery before her. The tents camped below Skyhold were now so numerous, it was beginning to look more like a village. She smiled and turned, making her way towards the door that led to Cullen’s office.

They dined together every evening and saw each other during meetings, but had grown even closer. Beatrix now knew that she loved him more – even more than it was possible to love someone else. She would not hesitate to lay down her life if it would save his.

She stopped short in front of his door, frowning slightly and wondering why the thought of dying to save him even entered her mind in the first place. After a few moments she shook her head and shrugged, knocking twice and letting herself in.

Cullen had been sitting at his desk, pouring over a parchment, but leapt to his feet once she entered and closed the door behind her. Grinning, he quickly made his way over to pull her into an embrace. He kissed the crown of her head and gave her a squeeze as he held her.   

“Just wanted to see you before the meeting,” Beatrix murmured as she snuggled into him despite his armor.

“Mmmm,” was Cullen’s reply as he took in her scent – soft vanilla with a lemony burst – and pulled her away slightly to look into her eyes. “How are you today? Sleep well?”

“Yes. I’m worried you didn’t though. Cullen, you have to get proper rest, my love,” Beatrix chided softly as her concerned eyes looked deeply into his.

“I’m trying,” he offered as a reply. Then he captured her lips in a kiss, which made Beatrix forget about everything else.

They came up for air and she stood on the tips of her toes to reach his ear. “I think I’m ready, my love.”

Cullen held her at arms’ length and looked at her closely. “Are you sure…you want to take that step?”

Beatrix nodded her eyes twinkling.

“I – um…I wondered about… well. I just didn’t know if…” the Commander stammered, blushing all the way to his ears. “I don’t want to – um – force you into doing anything you don’t want to do!”

Beatrix laughed and it was the sweetest sound he’d heard in a while. He gave her a lopsided grin, his mouth curling slightly on one side – the side with the scar.

“There’s a meeting in ten minutes. Would you mind if you accompanied me, Commander?”

“Not at all, my Lady.” He offered his arm, which she took gracefully, and his smile turned into a boyish grin.

Together in more ways than one, they walked out of the office, closing the door softly behind them.

…

The meeting went on smoothly. The first thing Beatrix wanted to do was help Bull with the Qunari at the Storm Coast. Leliana then brought up reports from her scouts that told them Corypheus was investigating Elvhen Temples and ancient Elven Ruins. There was concern over this because nobody knew what he was planning. After some deliberation, Leliana assured Beatrix that she would have her scouts keep closer watch and the meeting was adjourned.

Beatrix gave Cullen a smile and left the room, aiming to go speak to Bull about the Qunari mission to the Storm Coast. Along the way, she stopped at the door leading to the garden. She knew Morrigan had been given quarters overlooking the garden, so she decided to visit the mage, if only to see how she was fitting in and if she needed anything.

She found Morrigan in the garden, talking to a boy who looked like he was about ten years old. Beatrix knew all the children in Skyhold personally so she was very intrigued as she reached them.

“You’re the Inquisitor,” the boy stated in a matter-of-fact voice as he smiled up at Beatrix.

“And _you_ are someone I don’t know,” replied Beatrix with a playful grin.

“Kieran, don’t bother the Inquisitor,” Morrigan said in a soft voice. “You still have things to study, little man.”

“But mother, look! Look at her hand! Do you see it?” the boy asked in awe.

“I do see it, indeed,” Morrigan smiled. “Now off to your studies.”

Kieran smiled and look up at Beatrix, then he turned and headed for his room.

“You’ve just met my son, Inquisitor. Never where I want him to be. I assure you that he will not interrupt my work with you in any way.”

Beatrix’s eyebrows shot up. “I never knew you had a son.”

Morrigan smiled at this. “Yes, what is this horrible apostate doing? Very unwise to have a child at this time and age.”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” Beatrix shook her head.

“I know you did not,” Morrigan replied. “Shall we sit somewhere, Inquisitor? I have some information I wish to discuss with you.

“Of course!” Beatrix said as they reached the benches in the circular stone gazebo that sat in one of the corners of the garden.

“Tarasyl'an Te'las,” Morrigan said in a low voice as she looked around the place reverently. “It is said that the Elves who built this place did it to commune with the gods. The place that holds the sky.”

“You know Elvish?” Beatrix asked.

“I studied it in my travels, yes. But we are here to discuss how to bring Corypheus down and not about me.”

“Will your son’s father be joining us?” Beatrix blurted out, all at once realizing she was going too far.

“We must focus on Corypheus, yes? I can answer all other questions once he has been successfully spotted. Once we have an idea of what he is doing visiting the Ancient Elven ruins.”

“You know this? How?” Beatrix asked, her eyes widening slightly.

“I have my ways, Inquisitor. What matters is that I know and that what I know is at your disposal. Therefore, I must inform you that I have a package coming to Skyhold that should be arriving during the week. Once it is here, we can talk about everything else. I will answer all your questions without pause.”

“Even the personal ones?” Beatrix grinned unable to resist teasing Morrigan.

“Morrigan’s eyes narrowed slightly and then she surprised Beatrix with a chuckle. “I suppose I set myself up for that one. Yes, Inquisitor. I will answer most of your questions if it pleases you.”

“This package that is arriving…” Beatrix started to say, and Morrigan held a hand up, interrupting her.

“It is an artifact. An Ancient Elven artifact,” Morrigan stated. “I cannot say more until you see it and realize why it is important.”

“I won’t be here during the week as I have to do a favor for one of my friends at the Storm Coast, but I’ll speak to you as soon as we return,” Beatrix promised and smiled at Morrigan. She liked this apostate mage. She didn’t know why, but she did.

Morrigan’s smile was warm as were her eyes. “I shall look forward to your return, then.”

…

After she had talked to Bull about the alliance with the Qunari, Beatrix paused a moment to ask for a bowl of stew before she left. Her stomach was growling and she knew the noon meal was already over and done with at the main hall. She didn’t particularly like the stew made at the tavern much, but she had glimpsed at Cabot’s wife in the inner room bustling about and that meant good cooking.

“Hello, Cabot. Any rumors?” Beatrix smiled at the dwarven barkeeper.

His reaction was sarcastic, just as she thought it would be. “Tevinter mages getting along with Qunari mercenaries, Inquisitor. And not just getting along, if you get my meaning.”

“Ah, yes, a most curious combination, don’t you think?”

The dwarf, who rarely smiled, offered her one. “Let me guess, you are here for my wife’s stew? Hardly anyone comes here to eat mine. Just my drinks.”

“I already had my share of drinking, thanks,” Beatrix chuckled. “I would like some of your ale, though.”

“Frida!” the dwarf called out in a very loud voice as he poured a mug of ale for Beatrix. “The Inquisitor wants some of your stew!”

“Ancestors save me! I heard you the first time, you nug humper!” the cute dwarven woman complained as she came out to say hello to Beatrix with a smile on her face. Beatrix smiled back at her and she nodded. “I’ll put in some extra vegetables, just the way you like it, Inquisitor.”

She bustled back into the inner room and Beatrix’s stomach growled.

“You won’t have to wait long, she’s already cooked it,” Cabot stated.

His wife came back out, her rosy cheeks now red from the fire. “Here you go, Inquisitor. Piping hot! And some bread from the kitchens to go with it!”

“Thank you, Frida,” Beatrix grinned as she immediately began to eat, humming her approval at the tasty meal. She felt warm and satisfied when she was done, and waved goodbye with a smile, leaving the tavern in haste.

On her way to the main hall of the keep, she was met with a most curious scene. Solas was walking angrily down the steps and Cole was following him nervously. Obviously, Cole was clearly asking for something and Solas was avoiding him as he continued to walk, only to stop short when Cole materialized directly in front of the elven mage.

“Please, Solas! You _like_ demons!” Cole exclaimed in a whiney voice.

“I do enjoy the company of _spirits_ , but – “ Solas managed to say before Beatrix interrupted.

“What’s going on here exactly?” Beatrix asked curiously.

“He likes demons, but he won’t bind me!” Cole exclaimed in a panicked voice.

Beatrix eyebrows shot up. “ _Bind_ you? Why would you want Solas to bind you?”

“So that the warden mages do not bind me to them, like they did at Adamant! Walls around what I want, blocking, bleeding, making me a monster! You wouldn’t want me to hurt people, please, I don’t want to hurt people again!”

It took some time before both Beatrix and Solas could calm Cole down a little. Solas suddenly remembered that there were amulets used in Rivain by hedge mages there to help Cole keep free of any binding ritual. Beatrix told Cole and Solas that she would use the Inquisition resources to find that amulet.

She walked off heading up the stairs that led her into the main keep, turning right to go speak to Leliana. Not only would she ask her about the amulet, but she would seek her advice on another matter as well. Both the Spymaster and Beatrix had slowly become friends and she visited the Spymaster frequently whenever she was in Skyhold.

The rookery was full of squawking ravens, which were the birds that were used to send and receive important missives. Leliana stood in front of her desk, reading a parchment, but she looked up and smiled when she saw Beatrix standing right in front of her.

“Inquisitor,” she greeted her with a smile. “To what do I owe this pleasure?” 

“Hello, Leliana,” Beatrix smiled back. “I’ll need some of your scouts to find a certain amulet for me. One that will protect Cole against any binding attempt. Do you know of what I speak?”

Leliana nodded. “The Amulet of the Unbound. It is not as difficult to find as you think. I’ll send some of my scouts directly to Rivain to obtain one.”

“That’s a relief. Usually things are extremely hard to get,” Beatrix grinned.

Leliana chuckled and nodded. “Anything else, Beatrix?”

“Actually, yes. I’ve been taking an infusion to…well, I wanted to avoid…ah!” Beatrix stammered.

“To avoid pregnancy?” Leliana chuckled.

“How did you…” Beatrix began, but was interrupted by Leliana.

“You blushed deeply, possibly thinking of the Commander. And the stammering helped, too,” Leliana laughed.

Beatrix’s laughter soon joined the Spymaster’s. “Yes, well, I’ve been taking an infusion made of Witherstalk sap and ground carrot seeds.”

“Have you been taking it every day?” Leliana inquired.

“Yes,” Beatrix nodded. “I started after my last menses. It tastes terrible, but I hear it’s effective?”

Leliana chuckled. “Yes, Inquisitor. It’s very effective. I have used it a lot in the past. I do not need it for now, so I can also have the person who provides me with the Witherstalk to start sending me some regularly for your needs?”

“I’d appreciate that immensely, Leliana,” Beatrix smiled, relief lacing her words. “What I have should last and I could possibly get some more, but I’m not heading anywhere near the desert areas this week.”

“You’ll be securing the alliance with the Qunari, then?” Leliana asked.

“Yes. I’ll be heading off with Bull, Dorian and Cassandra the day after tomorrow. I still haven’t spoken to Dorian and Cassandra about it, though.”

“I can send a runner to inform them, Beatrix,” Leliana offered. “You just go rest and relax, and wait for your dinner guest.”

Beatrix laughed at that. She gave Leliana a brief hug, which the Spymaster returned warmly, and turned around to head down the stairs and across the main hall to her quarters.

…

Freshly bathed and out of his armor, Cullen knocked on the door leading to the Inquisitor’s private quarters that evening. He felt rather giddy, much like a small child opening a Satinalia gift. He tried to get a grip on himself, but at that moment, Beatrix opened the door and Cullen’s jaw nearly hit the floor.

She was wearing a transparent silken robe that covered her from the neck all the way down to her feet. He could clearly see her bare breasts and his breath hitched when he realized she wasn’t wearing any smalls either. He walked inside closing the door behind him and took her into his arms immediately afterwards, leaning down to capture her lips.

Their kiss was so passionate and intense, Beatrix hummed. Cullen broke the kiss, only to have his lips trail down her cheek then jaw, nipping at her ear lobe gently.

“You are so beautiful,” he murmured as she trembled briefly in his arms. His hands traveled up and down her back, gently touching, one of them settling at the nape of her neck, fingers threading through her black silken hair. “I love you so much.”

Without prior warning, he suddenly picked her up and carried her directly to her huge bed, where he continued to kiss and caress her tenderly. His hands roamed her slender form, his mouth slowly descending to her collarbone, kissing and nipping gently along the way. He paused only to look up at her, slowly untying her robe, giving her enough time to stop him. But Beatrix only gave a brief nod, and arched her body towards his touch, which was all the encouragement he needed. Beatrix herself helped him remove the garment, bearing her body to him at last.

Looking at her reverently for a few moments, he leaned forward to kiss her deeply before his warm calloused hands cupped her ivory breasts tenderly. Beatrix mewled with pleasure as his long calloused fingers teased her nipples into full aching hardness.

When Beatrix gasped, Cullen thought it was the sweetest sound he’d ever heard. He focused on making her feel pleasure, his own erection nearly forgotten in his purpose. Each sigh and moan from her lips gave Cullen the encouragement he needed to continue with his ministrations. He suckled a nipple, while he fondled the other one, hearing her moan his name, which elicited a hum from his lips. Her body arched up to him and he smiled as she observed him through half-closed eyes.

He continued to suckle her breasts and she cried out his name. Unable to stay still, she slipped her hands under the vest and tunic he wore underneath. Cullen rapidly shrugged both off, one at a time, then  started kissing and tasting the valley between her breasts. Her fingers now ghosted up his chest and he let out a moan as he felt her hands on his face and threading through his hair. He focused on kissing her, his tongue sweeping against her lips to gain entrance. As their tongues met, he let out a moan, eliciting a shiver of excitement from her.

Panting heavily they broke apart, staring into each other’s eyes. He leaned his forehead against hers, and gave her a lopsided grin, as his hands continued their exploration.

“I love you,” he whispered, his lips moving down her cheek and tracing her jaw, stopping at her ear.

“You need to take everything off…” she then let out a moan that sent his spirit soaring. Very quickly, he got up off the bed, his breeches and  boots off in the least time possible. Standing in his smalls, he quickly pulled them off and stood before her.

Her eyes widened slightly at his thick erection, hands reaching up to it as she sat up. Cullen stood still, but when she touched him, he let out a moan, closing his eyes briefly. He felt her hand timidly wrap itself around and he hissed, opening his eyes and gazing straight into hers, while pulling her hand away with difficulty.

“I won’t last if you continue doing that, love,” he whispered as he approached her, taking her in his arms and kissing her lovingly.

His hands caressed her back and pushed her closer against him, his cock brushed against her thigh and he hummed as he kissed her. Very slowly his hands traveled the curves of her body, and together they leaned back onto the pillows as his hand now travelled down the across the flat of her stomach, the bend of her hip, trailing his fingers to the inside of her thighs until they found their goal. He lingered there, touching and teasing until Beatrix was arching into his touch, shamelessly letting her cries slip from her lips as her fingernails raked the length of his back.

He kissed her twin peaks, suckling first one breast and then the other, as his finger slipped into her, hearing the sharp intake of her breath and stopping until she had grown accustomed to it. Then he slowly kissed down her body, nipping gently until his mouth reached her thighs. Kissing each one, he looked at her.

She was lying back against the pillows, one of her hands on one, twisting it. Her eyes were shut and she was breathing heavily, moaning softly under her breath. Her cheeks were bright red, and her lips swollen and red. At that moment she opened her eyes and met his, and he smiled. One of his hands now parted her folds and the other one held her in place as he started to lick, suckling on her nub from time to time as she arched herself up to him.

“Culllllllennnn!” she cried out, panting and moaning. He smiled as he doubled his efforts, feeling her stiffen, knowing that she was very close.

“Come for me, my love,” he crooned, then continued to suckle and lick. In mere moments, he was lapping up her juices and reveling in the taste of her. His cock throbbed as he quickly moved up and kissed her passionately. She responded in kind, then dropped back heavily on top of the pillows.

But Cullen was not done.

Very gently he started to kiss her again. Whispering that he loved her, she looked up at him, smiling and kissing him back. Her arms went up his chest and he responded by deepening the kiss. Their tongues danced as his hands found her breasts. Very gently he tweaked her nipples, feeling her respond to his touch with a moan. He broke the kiss, focusing on her neck, then on her breasts again. Soon she was arching up at him, begging for more. Her hands entangled themselves in his hair and he felt his self-control slip a little. Pausing to catch his breath he positioned himself above her, looking deeply into her eyes. She opened her legs under him, her eyes so dilated they were black.

Beatrix quivered as his length throbbed against her. He took himself in hand and guided his cock to her entrance, still looking at her . “I love you,” he whispered. “I will always love you…”

He pushed his way inside slowly and she gave a cry which he silenced with a passionate kiss. His mouth devoured hers, while his hands excited her, introducing her into the world of sensuous pleasure. She surrendered herself to him completely and he felt it.

He thrust in and out of her, slowly at first so that she became accustomed to his length. But as soon as she began to move with him, he gasped and quickened the pace. She whimpered and panted while Cullen realized that she was moving even more easily. Opening his eyes he found hers, and continued to thrust deeply, until he was moaning her name and she was crying out his.

He could not hold on any longer, but he knew he didn’t have to. Giving a cry, Beatrix clenched around him, her needs becoming his own. Together they had climbed upwards, and when he heard her cry out he followed her over the edge as he spilled himself deep inside her. Ripples of rapture shuddered through them as they clung together, savoring the delight of their mutual release.

“My love,” he panted, catching his breath as he slowly withdrew and lay back on the pillows, pulling her gently on top of his chest. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” she breathed back, settling comfortably on his chest, hearing his heart thumping wildly still.

“Was…I mean, um…were you in a lot of pain?” he asked hesitantly as soon as he could speak, his hands absent mindedly playing with the locks of her hair.

“Only a little at the beginning,” was her reply. He could see her blush and smiled, kissing the crown of her head. “I, um…really liked it.”

“Did you?” Cullen asked, feeling quite pleased at her admission.

“Yes,” she laughed nervously, then gazed up at him, her eyes shining like twin stars.

He captured her mouth in a chaste kiss. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. You complete my life in more ways than one. I will never stop thanking the Maker for you.”

Her stomach growled hungrily and she giggled, a hand flying to her mouth. Cullen laughed.

“I suppose we should have some of the dinner we completely ignored, hmm?”

“I’ll bring the plates,” Beatrix said moving to get up, but Cullen stopped her.

“No, you rest here. I’ll bring the plates and table over. Let me pamper you a little, love.”

…

The following morning, Beatrix woke up and found that Cullen was not by her side. Sitting up in bed she looked around the room. Then she heard some humming and singing and she smiled. Cullen was taking a bath.

She walked to the ladder that led up to the bathing room and found him lying in the water of the large tub, feet sticking out over the edges. Stifling her giggles with her hand, she crept up to him, but stopped suddenly when he spoke.

“I heard you already, love.”

Beatrix pouted as she walked up to him. His eyes widened and a smirk appeared on his face. She hadn’t even bothered to put on her robe and was standing in front of him completely naked. He felt himself harden as he took in her breasts and waist, his eyes lingering briefly on her mound, then he crooked a finger gesturing at her to come over.

Beatrix slipped into the large tub, and water sloshed over the edges as she straddled him, feeling his cock against her as she leaned forward kissing him passionately. He hummed in approval, his hands caressing her, touching her buttocks as she took him in hand.

“Love,” Cullen whispered putting his hand over hers and showing her how to stroke him. Laying back as far as he could, he opened his eyes and watched her as she stroked him.

The water sloshed out of the tub even more when he pulled her against the hard planes of his chest and she moaned into his lips as she bucked against him, causing him to cry out her name.

“I think we should…move to the bed, unless you want your room to flood, love,” Cullen said between kisses.

Reluctantly she complied and followed him out of the tub. Wrapping a towel around her he grabbed another one and they went down the ladder, sitting in front of the fire to dry faster.

“I’ll be more careful, I…ah,” Cullen started to speak as he took her in his arms and she settled on his lap.

“Careful?” she asked, looking at him curiously.

“I…shouldn’t have spilled myself inside you, I’m sorry,” he said all in one breath, rubbing his neck uncomfortably.

“Oh!” she said then grinned as she looked up at him. “I’m taking something, Cullen.”

“You are?” he sounded surprised, but she chuckled when she replied.

“I knew what to take. Things like this are discussed among women, my love.”

“Well, then, not to say that I…that is I do…I mean,” Cullen ended his verbal tirade with a long sigh.

“Oh, I do want to have children someday, of course,” Beatrix laughed, her eyes twinkling. “ _Your_ children. But I don’t want to have to fight Corypheus while I’m with child.”

“No, that…that wouldn’t be wise at all,” he said, pulling her close to him.

“Mmhmmm,” she said as she nestled in his arms, then looked up at him.

He felt his heart soaring to the heavens at her look. A look that spoke plainly of a family and a home. Of waking up next to her every day of his life. A look that said she was his.

“Love me forever?” she asked.

“Forever and more,” he replied immediately, kissing her softly, content to have her in his arms – just as she was meant to be.

…

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I apologize for not posting this sooner! My health kind of kept me from writing and then once they issued oxygen to help me breathe normally again, I started sleeping most of the day away. My muse disappeared, and well…that’s it in a nutshell. Thanks for your patience if you’re still reading this insane tale.
> 
> A bit of this chapter contains part of a quest featured in the game, I’m sorry! But the rest is pretty much my original stance and plot here and there.
> 
> The last break before the end is NSFW, and EXPLICIT, so if you don’t like reading smexy scenes you can skip it. The last sentences. though, are meant to be read…because…Cullen! :D
> 
> Once again thanks to you all, and to my lovely Beta LadyDarksbane who is always there for me!
> 
> Please feel free to leave a comment, your thoughts and feedback are greatly appreciated as always!

…

The whole operation in the Storm Coast with the Qunari had fallen through. Beatrix was still angry and shocked about it all and really glad that they had saved Bull’s Chargers. The sleazy elf Gatt, who was the contact and a friend of Bull’s in the past, had even begged Bull to forget his men and save the huge Qunari warship called a dreadnought. Beatrix had wanted to kill Gatt at the end for talking to Bull the way he did, and Bull himself had to contain her.

Their ride back to Skyhold had been a fairly quiet one until they were close to the fortress.

“Boss,” Bull said as he rode beside her. “I want to thank you for…your help back there. The boys know everything that happened. They really appreciate it.”

“I wasn’t going to just stand there and watch Krem and the rest get killed, Bull. They aren’t just your men, they’re people who’ve earned their place in the Inquisition,” Beatrix nearly growled back at him in her anger. “I just hope I never see that elf again. The way he spoke to you and to me…you could have just let me hit him at least once!”

Bull chuckled under his breath. “Gatt has always been known to have that effect on people.”

“Yes,” Beatrix said, pursing her lips briefly. “I wonder why?”

The Chargers started singing their songs behind them and Beatrix bit back a laugh, but grinned up at Bull who was smiling at her.

“We’re almost home. Because it _IS_ your home, Bull,” Beatrix said quietly, her eyes twinkling up at Bull’s only eye. “And the Chargers’ as well.”

Bull’s expression softened. “Thanks, Boss. I think it is, too.”

Crossing the bridge that led them to the main gates, they arrived at last, the men and her companions dismounting almost immediately. She saw Cullen rushing down the steps from the general direction of his office tower and smiled to herself, walking her horse to hand the reigns to the stable boy. Without turning, she heard a vaguely familiar voice call out to Bull. She frowned as she walked up to the Qunari, standing firmly beside Bull as Gatt approached. Cullen arrived slightly out of breath, immediately fixing his gaze on the elven man.

“Inquisitor it is my duty to inform you that there will be no agreement between our peoples and yours, nor will anyone be contacting your Tal Vashoth warrior in the future.”

“It figures they would send you,” Bull said with a glare at Gatt. “You here on orders to kill me, Gatt?”

“No. We’ve already lost one good man. We do not wish to lose two,” the Elven warrior mumbled, inclining his head briefly. He then turned and left the keep through the main gates.

“That’s weird,” Bull said out loud to no one in particular. Then he turned and smiled at Cullen. “Nice to see you, Cullen.”

Cullen smiled back at Bull. “What’s weird? I take it the alliance failed?”

But before Cullen could get an answer, one of the Inquisition scouts threw a dagger at the Qunari. The blade just bounced off him and as fast as lightning, Bull suddenly rushed towards the man, landing a good punch on his face that knocked him out.

At that very same moment, Beatrix felt something extremely painful and gave a loud cry. Looking down she saw a dagger protruding from her chest. Her eyes met Cullen’s wide and surprised as she fainted into his arms.

Bull quickly grabbed the would-be assassin, snapping his neck in one swift motion.

“No! NO!” Cullen was yelling, the words coming forth along with great gasps for air as he held Beatrix close, unbidden tears falling onto his cheeks. “Get the healer! NOW!”

The healer rushed over to where they were, a crowd already gathering around Cullen and Beatrix. Some of them went on their knees, lifting a prayer for the Maker to intervene and save her life. Before Cullen could grab the hilt of the dagger and pull it out, Bull had beaten him to it, pressing one of his large hands on the wound to keep the blood from flowing out. The three of them carried her to the infirmary, silently and swiftly.

Cullen placed her gently on one of the cots. Just then, the door opened and Solas walked in. He nodded at them and immediately started to work on the wound, using his magic to knit everything back together. The healer worked on getting her cleaned up and tried to help Solas in every way she could.

Seconds turned into minutes as they worked. Finally, Solas turned to Cullen, his eyes troubled.

“The wound is no longer open. I’ve managed to close it completely,” the elf said, pursing his lips.

“What else?” Cullen asked. “You look like you want to say something, Solas.”

“I cannot reach her, Commander. She is once again in her corner of the Fade. Her happy place as she calls it. I’ll try to reach her through meditation like the last time.”

“How long…?” Cullen started to ask, but Solas interrupted him.

“Impossible to say, Commander. She is happy there. Let us hope that she comes back to us soon.”

…

_Beatrix sighed happily as she stared up at the pine trees, branches swaying lazily in the soft breeze. She took a deep breath of fresh air and sat on the lush green grass, laughing out loud at the beauty all around her. Not only did she feel happy, but completely calm._

_A noise behind her made her turn around. The lady in white she had seen before smiled tenderly as she walked to her, stopping only when she reached her, her blonde locks fluttering softly in the cool breeze._

_“Who are you?” Beatrix smiled as she stood. “Do I know you?”_

_“Do you know where you are, little one?” The lady asked gently._

_“Yes. This is my happy place,” Beatrix answered with confidence. The lady smiled and nodded her head._

_“This is a part of the Fade, little one. I come here to be with you. None shall harm you while you are here.”_

_“Why are you here? Who are you?” Beatrix asked more insistently, her eyes narrowing slightly. She never liked it when someone didn’t answer a question._

_“I am here because you will need my help. The road is not easy and the path you must follow is full of thorns. You will suffer and others will suffer with you as well. Many will suffer for you, when the time comes. This is where you rest, where you will replenish your energy.”_

_“What do you mean ‘many will suffer **for** me’? **Why** will they suffer?” Beatrix asked, her sapphire eyes on the lady’s pale yellow ones. _

_“I cannot tell you the path because you must walk it, little one. But I will always be with you,” the lady said smiling warmly at her, her voice falling to a whisper as she vanished before Beatrix’s eyes._

_Beatrix turned around looking for her. But no matter where she looked, her eyes only found grass, bushes, and trees. The lady was gone, leaving her with a feeling of loss which she couldn’t explain._

_The snap of a twig made her whirl around expecting to see the lady again. But she found only the elf who had visited her before._

_“Why are you here? Leave me alone,” she sighed as she sat on the grass again, facing away from him._

_“Inquisitor,” the elf said gently. “You have been here for a while. Don’t you want to return?”_

_She didn’t face him. Instead she turned her face up to the sun and laughed, letting its rays touch her face and feeling its warmth._

_“Inquisitor?”_

_Beatrix felt a surge of anger, turning to face the elf who still stood in the same spot. The sky overhead suddenly turned dark, the dark clouds heralding a storm as Beatrix seethed._

_“Leave me alone! Didn’t you hear me the first time?” She practically screamed at him as the clouds rolled together producing thunder. “Why do you insist in interrupting me here?”_

_Solas shook his head, unable to speak for a while, waiting for her to calm down. And he knew exactly when she **had** calmed down: The dark clouds disappeared and the sun shone brightly once again. He took a deep breath and walked around her to face her, sitting on the grass himself. She was truly a mystery and he was even more curious about her than ever before. _

_“And still you persist,” Beatrix sighed – a bit wearily now, but calm nevertheless._

_“We still need you, Inquisitor,” Solas said carefully, watching her reaction carefully. “ **He** needs you.”_

_Beatrix opened her eyes and looked straight into Solas’ eyes. Her gaze held his as her brow furrowed._

_“He needs me,” she murmured. “Cullen!”_

Beatrix jerked awake, sitting up in bed. Cullen quickly reached for her and had her lean once again on the mattress and her pillows.

“Careful, my love,” he crooned in a tender voice. “You were badly hurt and lost a lot of blood. Shhh. You’ll be fine.” He caressed her face gently, pushing her dark hair away from her face and eyes.

Beatrix suddenly remembered why she was hurt and how. She was terribly thirsty and croaked Cullen’s name. He immediately hurried to get her some water from a tumbler on the table next to the bed and helped her drink. She smiled up at him gratefully, sipping slowly at the water, until he took the glass away from her with a gentle smile of his own.

“How long?” Beatrix finally asked, looking at him with a worried frown.

“Five days,” he replied, his eyes glistening gold in the light of the fire.

“It’s longer each time,” Beatrix murmured worriedly. “What if next time-“

“No!” Cullen said fearfully, taking her into his arms. “No, my love. Solas is trying to figure it all out.”

“Solas was there. He came after the lady,” Beatrix said, her eyes suddenly heavy with sleep. “I feel so sleepy and exhausted…”

“Just rest, my love. You need to rest. Even though the wound is but a scar, you’ve lost a lot of blood.”

“Bull? Is he alright?” Beatrix managed to ask sleepily as she briefly looked up at Cullen.

“He’s fine. Are you hungry?” Cullen asked as her eyes closed again. A few moments passed and he smiled. She was fast asleep.

Cullen tucked her in gently and thanked the Maker before settling on the other side of the bed and falling asleep himself a short while after.

He would do everything to ensure there wouldn’t be a next time.

Not while he still drew breath.  

…

It took Beatrix three days to fully recover. The fourth day she met with everyone in the war table room; advisors and inner circle alike. Leliana gave her the amulet for Cole and Beatrix pocketed it. She would give it to Cole in private later. As they were talking about the missions they would delegate to soldiers and scouts, a runner interrupted the meeting.

“Excuse me for interrupting, but something has come up that needs your attention,” the messenger said as he made his way to the war table. He then extended a couple of missives to Leliana and waited.

Leliana’s eyes did not reveal a single thing. She kept her face neutral, but turned to the scout and dismissed him. Then she turned to Beatrix.

“It seems we have a small…problem, Inquisitor. Warden Blackwall has disappeared.”

“He what?” Beatrix exclaimed, her eyes wide with surprise.

“But, I was just talking to him at the tavern,” Josephine said in a worried voice. “Where does the missive say he’s at?”

“There is one for you, Josie, here,” Leliana said as she handed the Ambassador a parchment. The Ambassador read, her hand flying to her mouth, her clipboard forgotten on the table. “He’s gone! Why?”

“He had this report, it was in his belongings. I thought I had it, but he took it from my desk while I wasn’t there, I suspect. The missive mentions something about a hanging at Val Royeaux. They captured a long-time criminal. A murderer.”

“Let me see, Leliana,” Beatrix said quietly. She was succeeding in keeping her anger in check so far, and felt really proud of that. “Who is this man? Anyone know a… Mornay? It says here he is to be executed for the massacre of the…Callier family?”

“An illustrious and noble family of Orlais, who supported Empress Celene,” Leliana informed them.

“We need to get to the bottom of this. I’ll travel to Val Royeaux immediately,” Beatrix said firmly.

“I shall travel with you, Inquisitor,” Cullen said in a loud, clear voice. “We don’t know what he is planning so it is better if you have one of your advisors by your side.”

Beatrix nodded and her eyes met his golden ones. His smirk was one of the most attractive she had seen to date. She felt her blood rush upwards to her face and flushed prettily. Cullen’s smirk grew and he hid his smile under a gloved hand, as he cleared his throat.

“Cole, I have something to give you after the meeting,” Beatrix said as she smiled at the young man who merely looked at her with his pale blue eyes wide open.

“I don’t believe we’ve anything else to discuss until later, Inquisitor,” Josephine said, her voice clearly laced with worry.

“I’ll be travelling with Cullen as soon as we can, Lady Ambassador,” Beatrix promised, looking directly at Josephine.

“Thank you, Inquisitor,” Josephine replied, the relief in her voice evident.

…

Cullen and Beatrix bought went hand in hand to the third floor of the tavern, where Cole could usually be found. Beatrix started to feel that he was overprotecting her, and she discovered she actually liked it for a change. Maybe it was because of what had happened to her – she knew he had been shocked about her nearly dying,  but his reaction was well worth it. He was by her side and he would be going with her to Val Royeaux. She stole a glance at him and he was smiling as he walked, giving her hand brief squeezes from time to time.

As soon as they approached Cole, he gave Beatrix a warm smile, which surprised Cullen altogether. The Inquisition Commander smiled back at him and this prompted Cole to start talking, looking at them both.

“Safe and solid. Protecting and proud. He feels like quiet, stronger when you hold him.”

Cullen’s eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened slightly, but Beatrix smiled softly as she handed the amulet to the boy and he took it with trembling hands.

“That’s it, Cole,” Beatrix said. “The Amulet of the Unbound. Would you like to try it on?”

“Yes!” Cole said in an excited voice. “But not here. I feel safe here. We need to go somewhere else in case it turns sharp.”

“All right then, lead the way,” Beatrix smiled tenderly at him.

Cole smiled back and led them to Solas’ rotunda, where the elven mage was painting yet another addition to the walls of the place where he stayed and slept. Cullen and Beatrix followed Cole slowly, coming to a stop when Cole addressed Solas, who put down his brush to face them.

“What do I do with it?” the spirit boy asked Solas, who gave him a small smile.

“You have it! Excellent! May I see it?” Solas asked as Cole gave him the trinket.  

The elven mage took the amulet and inspected it, then gave it back to Cole. He instructed Cole to put the amulet on and he tried charging it with magic, but the only thing that did was to have Cole cry out in pain, which alerted Varric who walked into the room, thinking something had happened to the spirit boy.

Varric protested to what Solas was doing to the amulet and Cole. He informed the group that he believed Cole was human and not a demon at all. Cole, in the meantime, indicated that he knew where they had to go in order to stop whatever was interfering with the enchantment of the amulet.

“Whatever Cole is, we have to help him,” Beatrix said firmly.

Cole left with Cullen to check out the area where the disturbance came from. Once they had the location, they all agreed to set out to Val Royeaux first and find Blackwall the following morning, then head out to Redcliffe on the way back to solve Cole’s problem.

…

That night Beatrix sank into a hot bath prepared by Cullen beforehand, her mind on Blackwall’s departure. She couldn’t make heads or tails about it, and she was naturally worried. Blackwall might have been evasive about everything that concerned the wardens, but he was a good fighter and had saved her life as well as the rest of her companions a great number of times. She was sorry to see him go and vowed to get him back.

After she was done with the bath and was sitting in front of the fire, there was a knock on the door and Cullen walked in with a lopsided smile on his face, bringing some food balanced on a tray.

“I thought we might eat together,” he said in a low voice as he set the tray on the table next to Beatrix.

“Just eat?” Beatrix asked coyly, tilting her head up and meeting his eyes.

Cullen’s response was to take her in his arms, lifting her up from her chair. She melded into his embrace and surrendered to him as he kissed her with a passion that made her toes curl.

“Mmmm,” he said when they came up for air. “I think we can arrange to do something else…”

“I haven’t the slightest idea what you mean, Commander,” Beatrix replied feigning innocence as she opened her eyes and looked directly into his.

Cullen made a noise that sounded like a growl mixed with a laugh as he picked her up in his arms, carrying her to the bed, where he lay her down, falling to her side breathlessly.

“I’ll show you what I mean, then,” Cullen whispered as he started kissing her, his hands opening her tunic and caressing her breasts gently. Beatrix gazed up into his amber eyes, now so dilated with passion they were black.

She bucked as he started trailing kisses along her cheek and behind her ear, pausing for a moment to whisper that he loved her. She felt the familiar throbbing between her legs and arched her back into his chest.

Panting with difficulty now, the Commander stood up suddenly to take off his tunic, trousers, smalls and boots, falling onto the bed immediately afterwards, eager to continue what he was doing.

Beatrix moaned, sound cut short as Cullen brought her lips on hers, hungrily devouring the noise. His lips once again began their journey downwards and stopped to reverently kiss and suckle each nipple, taking his time and focusing, despite Beatrix arching herself onto him, melding into his embrace as the heat pooled in her very core.

She was deliciously wet and ready for him when his fingers first sought her entrance and he smiled into her lips.

“Maker, Beatrix…” he hissed, his erection now slipping in as she moaned out his name in pleasure. “So wet, so tight…so ready.”

Each word spoken against her lips and skin made her spiral out of control as her hands explored his chest and ended up tangled in his blond locks. He pulled out slightly and pushed back in, sheathing himself completely inside her and moaned her name when she enveloped his length tightly. 

Stopping only to regain some of his control, Cullen continued to grind himself into her, in and out at a steady rhythm. She joined him in the dance, filling the room with her gasps and cries as he grabbed her thighs and put her legs around his waist, deepening the angle for them both.

“Oh, Cullen!” She exclaimed as she felt herself rushing towards the end.

His pace quickened as if knowing exactly what was about to happen. And after a few more thrusts he felt her tightening around him, prompting his own release. They both remained tightly joined for a few more moments, catching their breaths and breathing words of love to each other. Then he eased himself out and fell upon the blankets and mattress, still breathing heavily.

He smiled lovingly at her as he moved to take her into his arms gently, cradling her softly. She sighed dreamily, her heart and spirit still soaring. It was the most beautiful sound to Cullen at the moment. One he would never tire of hearing.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you – loving you.” Her words shocked him and left him breathless. His eyes were now holding hers as she gazed up at him lovingly.

“Do you mean that, my love?” he asked, his voice trembling slightly, the happiness and hope in his eyes making them shine golden, the amber almost completely gone.

“Yes, Cullen. I want you by my side forever.”

“As my Lady commands, so shall it be,” he whispered, sealing his promise with a kiss.

…


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I called this chapter ‘the companion chapter’ because of the companion quests I wrote into the chapter. Cullen is just a plus one to exceed all other plus ones. Arbor Wilds will probably follow after a couple of chapters, a little bit closer to the end, my friends.
> 
> Thanks to all your comments and kudos and bookmarks! I’m touched that you are even reading this fic and thank you from the bottom of my heart! Special thanks to LadyDarksbane and her wonderful patience and editing skills! Please be sure to check out her fics, you will love them! :D
> 
> Leave a comment if you can, I love reading what you think! :D

...

Blackwall turned out to be a huge problem and a bigger disappointment. He had stood in front of the crowd on the wooden execution block, stopping Cyril Mornay’s hanging from being carried out when he told the crowd that _he_ was the man who had given the order to kill the entire Callier family, even the children.

Blackwall was not who he’d said he was. He was Thom Rainier, a mass murderer and fugitive of the law.

Beatrix reaction was to be expected, really.

“Whythatfuckinglyingsonofabitchmotherfucker!” she ranted furiously, right outside the Val Royeaux prison. “UGH! HOW could he lie to us about this? Fucking ASSHOLE!”

“Why don’t you let it all out,” Varric joked with a smile. “I’m sure you left out some curse words, Buttercup.”

“Shut up, Varric! _NOT_ in the mood,” Beatrix snarled as she faced the guard outside the prison. Varric held up his hands defensively and smirked behind her back.

“He wishes to atone, walls around him down now,” Cole said, his voice a whisper.

“I’ll give him walls!” Beatrix yelled, directly into the guard’s face.

“No one enters!” the guard shouted right back at Beatrix.

Beatrix glared at the unfortunate guard. Then she took off her glove and raised her left hand at the guard, practically thrusting the mark into his face.

“Looking to become a fixed part of the Fade today, you fucking popinjay?” she snarled.

 “Enter!” the guard said fearfully, taking a step back and allowing them to pass.

“Works every time, doesn’t it?” Varric commented happily.

“Beatrix, maybe you should calm down a bit,” Cullen added, his brow furrowing slightly.

“Calm down?!” she turned to yell at Cullen. “Calm down? UGH!”

Raising her hands in anger she stalked away into the prison, facing yet another guard just inside.

“I need to see the prisoner that calls himself Thom Rainier,” she said through clenched teeth.

“And you are his family?” the guard asked.

“Not anymore!” Beatrix replied. “Lying piece of shit is what he is now!”

“You’re the Inquisitor?” the guard asked, his eyes flitting momentarily to the mark on her left hand which was sparkling and glowing ominously.

“YES!” Beatrix shouted. “Does anyone else have this fucking mark on their fucking hand?”

“Last prison cell in the corridor,” the guard prompted, looking slightly worried.

“Thank you!” Beatrix said through clenched teeth.  

But before she could go downstairs to the cells, Cullen grabbed her arm and she turned to face him, her eyes flashing daggers at him.

“Beatrix, love,” Cullen began, holding on firmly to her wrist. “You should calm down, or the guards here will think of putting _you_ in a cell.”

Solas stepped closer to them, watching Beatrix keenly. He didn’t say a word.

All at once, Beatrix’s eyes opened wide and then she suddenly collapsed into Cullen’s arms.

“Sleeping spell,” Solas calmly explained. “You can speak to the prisoner now. She will sleep for hours.”

“I don’t think she’ll like that at all,” Cullen replied in a worried tone.

“I’ll take my chances,” Solas gave him a small smile. “She won’t wake up angrier at the very least.”

“You know what I like about you, Chuckles?” Varric said. “Your total lack of emotion and faith in mankind. Warms my little heart.”

“He wishes to atone,” Cole spoke again, his voice slightly worried. “Isn’t the Inquisition about forgiving?”

Cullen sighed deeply, barely keeping his own anger in check.

“He did something terrible, Cole,” the Commander said, reaching the back of his neck to give it a rub.

“But the Inquisition forgives and helps,” Cole pointed out. “It’s like a person.”

Varric slapped his face and shook his head, a grin on his face. “I gotta hand it to you, kid. You sure do know how to convince people.”

“ _I_ don’t matter,” Cole said, his pale blue eyes open wide.

“Alright,” Cullen said, holding up his right hand in a silencing gesture. “We _all_ go visit Black – er – Thom Rainier. I’ll carry Beatrix.”

“I can help you carry her!” Cole said eagerly.

…

Cullen reread the missive he had received from Leliana only minutes before. How was he to know that Josephine and Black-Rainier were in a relationship? This certainly made things difficult.

He remembered how the talk with Rainier had gone. The man was a liar, sure. He ordered his men to do the unspeakable, then ran like a coward. He had been angry, of course. Any man who was part of an army would be angry. But there was more at stake here and the decision of what to do about him wasn’t his to make.

Beside him, Beatrix moaned in her sleep. Cullen turned to look at her. He was sitting on their bed, having rented rooms for all during their stay in Val Royeaux. Her eyelids fluttered open and she smiled at Cullen sleepily.

“Sleep well, my love?” Cullen smiled back tenderly, his hand smoothing her hair away from her face.

“Yes, I…where are we?” Beatrix asked, her eyes looking around the strange room and far too Orlesian for her taste.

“I, ah, rented some rooms at the inn here in Val Royeaux,” Cullen replied nervously, waiting for the inevitable burst of anger from her.

“What are we doing in Val –“ Beatrix started to say, then her eyes widened. “That fucking lying shit!”

“Beatrix, we must get him out of there,” Cullen began with  a worried look on his face.

“Get him out? Are you insane?” Beatrix asked him, mouth open in surprise as she waited for his reply.

Cullen sighed. “Yes. I received this missive from Leliana, you’ll see why if you read it, love. She’s already sent a missive to the Empress.”

Beatrix read, and as she did, her features changed. She looked up at Cullen once she was done.

“Well, I certainly didn’t expect to see this…” she commented, raising one eyebrow at him.

“I had no idea as well, Beatrix,” Cullen sighed.

“So, if he is the father, it’s only natural that he be with us until the end,” Beatrix murmured.

“Yes, love,” Cullen replied. “You could pass judgment on him when we return to Skyhold, however.” Cullen added. “Cole was very vocal about forgiving him, by the way. He said that the Inquisition was all about forgiving and helping others.”

“Hmmm,” Beatrix said, deep in thought.

“Are you ready to visit him yourself?” Cullen asked after a moment of hesitation.

“Not yet, no,” she said hastily, looking into his amber eyes. “I need some time to think things out.”

“Of course,” Cullen said.

“I also want you to kiss me. Repeatedly,” Beatrix commented, her eyes twinkling.

“Is that part of the ‘thinking things out’ process?” Cullen asked as he leaned forward with a lopsided smile.

“Maybe,” Beatrix grinned, sitting up and meeting him halfway.

…

Unlike her prior meeting with the man, Beatrix felt something akin to pity the day she visited Thom Rainier in his cell. She strongly disapproved of what he had done, however, and told him so. When he told her he wished to hang for his mistake, Beatrix briefly wondered if Josephine had let him know what was really happening, and reached the conclusion that she hadn’t. She also thought it would be something they would like to speak about privately.

Beatrix herself was certainly not going to let the man know something so important in such a careless way.

She did, however, let him know that the Inquisition had spoken to the Empress and a criminal who looked like him would be left in his cell to be hanged. He would be returning to Skyhold, where he would be judged for his crime.

Rainier shook his head mournfully and sank back to the floor in a heap, obviously disappointed at the whole thing. Beatrix frowned. This man was good at heart. He truly wanted to be executed for what he had done. She could see why Josephine had fallen in love with him.

She ordered the Inquisition guards to fetch Thom Rainier and saw him taken with a brown bag over his head to conceal his identity. The man who looked like him was placed in his old cell.

Once outside the prison, Beatrix reminded her team that they would be travelling to Redcliffe soon to take care of Cole’s problem. She suggested a quick meal at the inn, then for them to be on their way. The rest nodded in agreement and silently sat at the table without further comment.

Cole did not sit at the table with them. He stood, staring intently at the host of the inn, who had led them to their table.

“You can tell her,” Cole told him, his voice carrying to everyone seated at the table. “She’ll laugh, but she’ll do it, because she _loves_ you.” 

Varric chuckled a cough into his napkin at this. Beatrix lifted an eyebrow at Cole who turned to look at her. “He wants his wife to tie him to the bedposts, little red ribbons, but was worried about her. I told him he could do it if he wanted to, that she would do it because she _loved_ him.” Cole explained, then disappeared and walked around to the table in front of them, telling the man that the woman in a red dress sitting at the other table thought he would look nice naked and that she wanted him to compliment her hat.

By the time he had spoken to at least twenty people in the restaurant, Cullen was red in the face and drinking a glass of wine, holding the goblet with a trembling hand, Beatrix was biting her lips to keep herself from bursting out laughing, Varric was laughing softly behind his napkin and Solas was looking at the menu, seemingly oblivious to what was happening.

Cole, however, was excited at this chance to make others happy. He appeared at the table again, expressing his thanks to Beatrix for bringing him along. She was once again letting him help and he was forever grateful to her.

“My pleasure,” Beatrix said with a grin, demurely folding her hands in front of her and hearing the entire team burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter – even Solas.

Cole just smiled and disappeared again while they were brought their food. He was just content with helping.

And he continued to help until they left.

…

Redcliffe was bustling with activity as always. Cole marched through the gates, seemingly aware of where he was going. In a few moments they arrived at a secluded area in the village, where a dwarf was talking to a man dressed in leather armor. Cole bristled visibly as the man said goodbye to the dwarf and then marched right up to him, unsheathing one of his daggers and bringing the man to his knees in front of him as he aimed the dagger straight at the man’s face.

“He killed me! He killed me and I have to kill him back!” Cole said furiously as Beatrix and Solas hurried to intervene, Cullen and Varric following close behind.

The man, sensing it was time for him to escape, ran off into the village.

“Wait a minute, Cole!” Beatrix yelled. “If he killed you wouldn’t you be dead?”

“You are a spirit,” Solas tried comforting him. “You have not possessed anyone. How could you have died?”

“I was an apostate,” Cole said, his voice cracking with sadness. “Broken, bleeding in a cell. Guts on the floor as I watched. Tried to help the real Cole. Too late to help. I couldn’t help, so I became him: Cole. And I died. _He_ watched me die. _He_ didn’t help. I have to kill _him_!”

“Then the guy we just saw was a templar,” Varric mused. “He must have been buying lyrium from the dwarf…”

“Cole has to let this go,” Beatrix said firmly. “He needs to forgive and forget.”

Varric scoffed. “Yes, because he’s a spirit and not a kid, right?”

“I think I can help,” Solas said. “Cole, come with me.”

Beatrix, Varric and Cullen were left behind. Cullen was looking at the lake from where he stood. Quiet and nostalgic.

“Is something wrong, my love?” Beatrix asked, her voice laced with concern.

“No, not wrong, but, I miss Ferelden sometimes. The place where I grew up,” Cullen replied in a soft voice.

“Maybe we can visit it one day?” Beatrix asked sounding hopeful.

“Not the village,” Cullen chuckled. “It was completely razed by the darkspawn during the Blight. There’s nothing there now.”

“I see,” Beatrix replied, holding his hand tightly in hers.

“But, there _is_ a place I’d like to visit someday. Hopefully before the demons destroy it completely. I’ll…see if I can arrange something,” he said smiling at her.

“I hope you can,” Beatrix said.

At that moment, both Cole and Solas appeared.

“I believe we are done here,” Solas said to Beatrix, while Cole looked up at both Beatrix and Cullen with a smile.

“How do you feel, Cole?” Beatrix asked in a worried tone.

“I feel well, thank you. I made him forget and I forgot too. No baggage, no chains, no walls around what I want,” he answered promptly. 

“He could have been a person,” Varric said sadly as they made their way to the town square.

“Possibly. Would that have made him happier, Child of the Stone?” Solas asked Varric.

But Varric just sighed and continued walking, choosing not to reply at all.

…

Even though Skyhold was a welcoming sight when they arrived a few weeks later, Beatrix felt it wasn’t over. There was still a lot to do and she couldn’t help but grimace as she entered through the gates and headed to the barn, dismounting a few moments later.

For starters, there was the matter of Thom Rainier. If she would be passing judgment on him, it had to be fast and the main hall would have to be free of the nobles that were usually talking amongst themselves.

She made a beeline to Josephine’s office, but didn’t find her there. Cullen, who had followed her, took her hand.

“I’ve a feeling she’s with…Rainier, love,” he said quietly, squeezing her hand. Leliana walked into the room at that very minute.

“Inquisitor, Commander, good to see you back.”

“Leliana, if I’m to pass judgment it should be in an empty main hall,” Beatrix told her quickly.

“I’ll arrange it immediately,” Leliana told them and left.

“You’re so tense love,” Cullen murmured as he took her in his arms, holding her against his chest gently.

“Wouldn’t you be?” Beatrix sighed as she felt him rocking her tenderly, lovingly. 

“Yes,” came his simple reply as he continued to rock her gently. Soon, Beatrix let herself go. A feeling of comfort, peace and security washed over her as Cullen murmured words of love and encouragement, his hands softly massaging her neck and back.

Leliana came back into the room. “The main hall is completely empty now, Inquisitor.”

“Alright,” Beatrix straightened, disentangling herself from Cullen’s arms, and took a deep breath. “Let’s do this.”

…

Beatrix had considered sending Thom Rainier over to the Grey Wardens at first. Then she took one look at Josephine, who was standing right next to her on the raised dais and changed her mind. The Ambassador had red eyes, and was holding a handkerchief. It was plain to see she had been crying.

Hesitating no longer, she spoke to Thom, telling him he would be free but had to live his life as Thom Rainier, not as Blackwall.

“I don’t even know Thom Rainier much to be honest. But if that’s the case, I will offer my blade to you and continue to serve the Inquisition,” Thom said, bowing slightly. Upon straightening, he eyed Beatrix and added, “If I had said anything different, would an arrow from the rookery have killed me?”

Beatrix frowned, the anger making her sit up and regard him with narrowed eyes. “Take your post, Thom Rainier.”

Blackwall waited for the guards to take off his chains and then turned and walked off to the main hall doors. Beatrix turned to look at Josephine, who was dabbing her eyes with her handkerchief, relief plainly written on her face.  

“I think you should talk to him, Josephine,” Beatrix said in a low voice as the nobles started to fill the main hall again.

“I – “ Josephine started to say, but Beatrix interrupted before she could continue.

“You haven’t told him yet, have you?”

“No, Inquisitor, I have not,” Josephine replied sadly.

“Well, you should. I think it would make his release a lot more sweeter to him. It also has to be said sooner than later,” Beatrix said in a low voice.

“Yes. Can I go now?” Josie asked.

“Of course you can,” Beatrix smiled. As soon as Josephine left, she stood up and turned towards her chambers. Time for a bath and a nap.

She was exhausted.

…

A few days later, Cullen walked into Beatrix’s quarters carrying a bottle of the finest wine. He had already asked for dinner to be delivered to Beatrix’s room.

He knew she was visiting Josephine, so he set the wine on her desk and whistled as he took off his coat and armor breastplate. There was a knock on the door, and a pretty elven servant on the other side smiled and handed Cullen a tray of food, then curtseyed and left.

Now clad only in his tunic and leather trousers, he sat in front of the fireplace, waiting for her return. Whatever was on his mind kept him smiling and when he heard her coming up the stairs at last, the smile turned into a grin as he stood to take her in his arms and greet her.

“Well, you’re looking happy,” Beatrix nearly purred as she walked straight into his arms. “Anything I should know?”

“As a matter of fact, there is,” Cullen murmured as he held her tightly. She leaned back to look at his face and smiled waiting for him to speak.

He shifted on his legs and took her to the love seat. 

“We have some dealings in Ferelden. I was hoping you could accompany me there?” Cullen smiled as he opened the wine bottle and poured the rich burgundy drink into two goblets.

“Of course I’ll go, Cullen,” Beatrix replied with a smile of her own. “When are we leaving?”

“Tomorrow,” Cullen chuckled, knowing full well how she would react to this.

Beatrix’s jaw hit the floor. “Tomorrow? Oh! I have to pack!” She moved to stand, but he held her hand and pulled her back.

“I’ll help you pack later,” he crooned as he embraced her again. Finding her lips, he kissed her and Beatrix let out a moan that had him smiling as soon as he pulled away to look into her eyes. “Right now I only have you on my mind.”

“Ooooh,” Beatrix smiled wickedly as she snaked her hands into his hair. “Anything in particular?”

“No, nothing at all. I just want to make love to you,” he chuckled.

Cullen smirked as she sighed, then stood up to walk her to the bed. “We can talk about this later, love. Have I told you how beautiful you are?” He added as they sat on her bed.

“Not recently, no,” Beatrix replied, her eyes twinkling.

“Oh, then I’ll have to fix that at once,” Cullen said between kisses. “I think you’re beautiful, and I love you very much.”

“That’s it?” Beatrix giggled as he kissed her neck. “I would have thought you had something more ‘substantial’ to say to me.”

“Something like, ‘you drive me crazy, I want you naked’?” Cullen laughed, then bit into her flesh, which made Beatrix gasp and laugh.

“Mmm,” Beatrix said breathlessly as he worked on taking off her vest and tunic while kissing down her collarbone. “I like the way you ‘talk’, Commander.”

“All the more reason to get you comfortable,” he smirked, removing her breastband at last.

…

A week later they stood in front of a large pond. The whole place had a magical quality to it, making it seem ethereal in the evening mist that rolled in. The peace the whole place depicted was remarkable.

“Where are we?” Beatrix asked, her voice nearly a whisper as she took in the surrounding beauty of the area.

“This was where I came when I wanted to be away from my siblings. Even at twelve I was looking for a bit of peace and solitude. My siblings were a little too loud at times.”

“It’s beautiful,” Beatrix said quietly, crossing her arms around her as the cold night air bit into her leather coat.

Cullen immediately took his coat off and put it around her shoulders, then pulled her down to sit at the small wooden pier that overlooked the entire pond.

“My brother gave me this, the last time I was here. He told me to keep it for luck,” Cullen chuckled, holding a silver coin in his open hand in front of Beatrix, who touched it softly with her fingertips.  “Templars aren’t allowed to own material things, but I’ve kept this coin ever since. I like to believe it’s brought me luck.”

They looked into each other’s eyes for a few moments. Then Cullen leaned down and captured her lips in a passionate kiss. Maker did he ever love this woman before him, more than he could have thought possible. He wanted her safe, away from harm. But she was the Inquisitor and faced death all the time. He broke the kiss and brought the coin to her right hand, pressing it into her palm.

“I want you to keep it. I know you must face Corypheus in the end and this coin may just bring you the luck you need to fight that creature,” Cullen said as he looked deeply into her eyes.

Beatrix smiled sweetly at him, returning the coin to him immediately. “Keep it. I don’t want you to lose the luck it gives you.”

“I don’t either. For I have more luck now than I ever did before,” Cullen murmured as he kissed her again.

He pocketed the coin when they came up for air, vowing to make a chain for the coin and give it to her anyway on the day of the final battle. He knew he was going to fight along her side that day, but she didn’t know this.

“I think we should get going to meet the soldiers at the fork in the road? There is an inn nearby and I’d very much like to show you how much I love you,” Cullen whispered.

“Oh?” Beatrix gave him a dazzling smile. “I thought you were already showing me how much you love me.”

Cullen laughed at that, then stood up, helping her up immediately afterwards. “Shall we, my lady?” he held out his arm for her to take as they walked back to the horses.

Beatrix would always keep the memory of this place in her head – its peacefulness and serene beauty bringing her a piece of Cullen with the comforting memory in the years to come.

Just like it should.

Just like it was meant to do.

…


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really dumbfounded (and a little angry) at Bioware when they found Maddox in the Shrine of Dumat, and Cullen walked around, without a care in the world, looking for clues just like the rest of them. Here was a man, suffering from lyrium withdrawals that was walking around in a place full of red lyrium and completely unaffected by it! What were they thinking??? I decided to write my own version and here it is. I hope you all like it!
> 
> Many thanks for your lovely comments and feedback, kudos and bookmarks! A million thanks to my beta, the ever lovely Lady Darksbane who is never too busy for me and my insane fic! Thank you so much, my dear!
> 
> Please leave a comment if you can. I love reading what you think! :D

…

Beatrix found herself standing in front of the door that led to Cullen’s office, feeling a bit apprehensive. In truth, she feared for him when he was out on the field and this would be no exception. On the contrary, this would be a hell of a trip – much more dangerous, and she was certain they would face the enemy in more ways than one.

She cleared her throat and knocked on his door. She heard his ‘come in’ and pushed the door open, closing it behind her.

“There you are,” he said from his desk as he scowled at a report he was scanning.

“What did you find?” Beatrix asked, knowing full well the response she was going to get.

“I found Samson’s lair at last,” Cullen replied, his eyes fixing themselves on hers, a smug expression on his face. “I’d like to accompany you there, my love.”

There it was: What she had been dreading was suddenly standing between Cullen and herself. Beatrix cleared her throat again, breaking his gaze and looking at the desk instead.

“Cullen, I don’t want you to come with us. We can do this without you, you know…” her voice trailed up when she looked up and found him staring at her with fierce determination.

“No, Beatrix,” Cullen replied, his brow furrowing. “I need to go myself and not only because I want to protect you. Besides, if something happens, I would prefer to be with you.”

“Don’t talk like that!” Beatrix eyes opened wide, the fear clutching at her heart, making it uncomfortable to breathe for a while. “I can’t lose you. I won’t!”

He stepped around the desk to pull her into an embrace. “I won’t let you go there on your own, love. It’s no use trying to convince me. I hardly have any withdrawal symptoms these days. I don’t think –“

Cullen was interrupted by her laughter and he immediately held her at arms’ length to take a good look at her. Beatrix continued to laugh, then her laughter died down and she shook her head.

“Red templars, red lyrium, Samson himself,” she said in one breath. “I can’t think of anything else that is more deadly, especially for you. You have a death wish, don’t you?”

“No,” he sighed as he embraced her again. “I just want to protect you.”

“Protect me by being here. I’ll be too concerned trying to keep you alive and might risk myself unnecessarily,” she almost whispered. “You stubborn man.”

“I’ll make you a deal,” he said, his amber eyes twinkling. “I’ll stay outside, but ride with you, and a small army of soldiers.”

“There may be red lyrium outside, surrounding the fortress as well,” Beatrix said with a sigh. “How will you protect me if you are infected? I would die before I see that happen.”

“My love,” Cullen’s arms tightened around her, warm and secure. “If I should sense anything happening to me, I’ll leave the area at once with a few soldiers. Does that sound better to you?”

She sighed deeply, disentangling herself from his arms.

“You are too stubborn for your own good,” she commented, knowing that she had already lost the argument. “Very well. But if you should feel anything even remotely strange you – “

“I’ll leave like a good, obedient little boy, I promise.”

…

The Shrine to Dumat, where Samson was said to be, was located in northern Orlais – almost at the border with Nevarra. It was a hot desert they had to cross in order to reach it, and the sun was so uncomfortable for them they had to stop and wait for night to fall to continue their march.

They set up their tents, Cullen keen on debriefing the soldiers, while the rest stepped inside their cool tents to get temporary relief from the heat. They had packed enough water for the journey, as they had known that they would be walking across the desert in order to reach the fortress.

Beatrix wet a piece of cloth and used it to refresh her whole body before putting a long, sleeveless tunic on and slipping into her bedroll to sleep. The double canvas on top of the tents kept them cool from the heat and Beatrix was fast asleep soon enough. She didn’t hear Cullen enter the tent a few hours later.

He smiled when he saw her,  then took his armor off. He also used a damp cloth and refreshed himself with cool water and a bit of soap before slipping into his bedroll which was right beside hers, falling asleep immediately, exhausted from the heat.

When they woke up, it was dark and cool. Cullen stretched and turned to look at Beatrix, only to find that she was looking at him already, a lovely smile on her face.

“Good morning, my Commander,” she said in a soft voice. “I hear the rest outside already. They must be waiting for us.”

He hummed and crept closer to her, embracing her and claiming her lips. “Shame we can’t stay a little longer?”

Beatrix laughed softly. “If you want everyone to hear, by all means go ahead!”

“No,” Cullen grinned. “I’d rather they didn’t hear anything.”

“Then it’s time to get up and get dressed,” she replied, crawling out first. He helped her with her armor, and she with his. Finally, he stood in front of the mirror, working on applying something to his hair to keep the curls down.

“I can’t believe you take longer than I do,” Beatrix giggled as she tied her hair back and away from her face.

“No curls makes Cullen happy,” he quipped, his hands smoothing his hair into place.

Beatrix only laughed and gave him a peck on a cheek turning to leave the tent and get something to eat outside. Her companions were all seated around a fire and they were all eating heartily before the trek through the desert. Cullen’s soldiers were already putting the tents away and helping with her companions’ tents as well.

Cassandra, Dorian and Bull all smiled and waved her over, handing her a plate of cooked nug and roasted potatoes. It smelled really delicious, and she hurried to sit in front of the fire to eat. Cullen appeared moments later and did the same.

“We’ll reach the fortress sooner if we hurry. My scouts report that it’s less than a day’s ride from here,” Cullen said, then got up and went for a second helping.

Beatrix smiled. It was good to see him eating, and eating well. Perhaps it had been a good idea to bring him after all.

“Maybe we should make this our main camp?” she asked as soon as he had sat down. Cullen shook his head.

“We’d be too far in case the rest of the soldiers are needed,” he replied. “I _did_ bring them to assist, in case there is fighting. We’re looking for Samson, but the priority here is Maddox, his tranquil assistant.”

“I hope you’re not thinking of going inside with us, Commander,” Cassandra said, wiping her hands on a piece of cloth that served as her napkin. “The place must be full of red lyrium.”

“I’ve already been convinced not to, Cassandra,” Cullen smiled. “I’ll be in our main camp, briefing the soldiers who’ll follow you inside the fortress. One of them is instructed to stay behind at the gates and inform the rest if there is fighting.”

“A good plan,” Bull said as he finished his meal. “But plans have a way of backfiring. Why don’t you tell all your soldiers the same thing you told your ‘message guy’? That way if he’s killed, another can take his place.”

“I thought of that, Bull, thank you,” Cullen smirked. “I didn’t say anything because the Inquisitor might have thought I was paranoid.”

“Hey! I think it’s a perfectly sound idea,” Beatrix protested.

“Yes, dear,” Cullen said demurely in a meek voice. The rest laughed and they all got up, readying themselves for the march.

…

Beatrix had been right. There was red lyrium outside the fortress as well, seemingly growing out through the walls as the huge lumps rose up to meet the scorching sun that was now absent. Moonlight glittered on the crystals, which looked dark and foreboding in the shadows. Even  so, the light still glinted off some of their polished surfaces, painting a pretty picture when the reality was something else entirely.

Beatrix strode up to the gates themselves, intent on working the lock in order for them to gain entrance. Not far behind, Cassandra, Bull and Dorian stood at the ready, along with half a dozen of Cullen’s soldiers. He watched from a safe enough distance, surveying his lover’s figure in the moonlight, wishing this was over so that he could take her in his arms and make love to her – with not a care in the world.

She managed to find the right combination and the gates opened, creaking ominously in the overpowering silence surrounding them. Looking back at Cullen she smiled before she crossed the entrance, while Cullen said a prayer to the Maker, asking Him to keep her safe.

Inside the whole fortress was quiet. But Beatrix was not to be fooled. Her eyes skimmed the inner walls where she spotted several red templar monsters, ready to charge at them as soon as they took a few steps further into the courtyard. Whispering to Cullen’s soldiers, she nodded to one of them who quickly ran back out, then nodded to her team.

In a very short time, they all made for the center of the courtyard and were attacked almost instantaneously, just as she had known they would be.

They quickly put a stop to the attack with the help of Cullen’s soldiers. Two went down in the fight, which was certainly intense, made worse by the glittering red crystals that littered the courtyard as well. When they were done, Beatrix was dismayed to see templars guarding the entrance to the fortress itself. It wasn’t that she hoped she had killed them all, though that would have been helpful, it was the fact that a behemoth stood among the templars guarding the way inside. This made her believe that not only Maddox was inside, but Samson as well.

Slipping into stealth she got close to one of the archers, dispatching him quickly when she stabbed him in the back, coming face to face with the gigantic behemoth who roared at her. Beatrix coated herself in ice and proceeded to attack, her companions reaching her quickly and attacking the surrounding templars immediately, while a few of Cullen’s soldiers hacked into the crystals on the monster, with little to no results. The monster’s attack stopped when he was coated in ice with a winter’s grasp spell from Dorian, and Beatrix’s icy figure managed to leap onto its shoulders, bringing the monster down by cutting off its head. Bull charged into the double doors, tearing them open and Beatrix stood just inside, surveying the whole scene before her.

The whole interior was burning, and several templars stood at the ready further in. Beatrix clenched her jaw and nodded to her companions, giving them some healing potions which more soldiers had brought in, and loading up on more herself.

The fight was brutal to say the least. The templars kept coming and they lost two more soldiers on their way to a huge pair of double doors. Beatrix was certain that they would find Maddox or Samson in there. Her team finally was able to beat the rest of the templars and they finally opened the double doors that led into a huge room, where two figures could be seen resting on the floor against one of the crystals in the room.

As Beatrix approached, she was able to identify one of the figures. It was Samson and in his arms he held on to another figure, dressed in the long identifying robes of a mage. The mage was quiet and still in his arms. When Samson looked up and gazed at her with pure hatred, she noticed the tears that were streaming down his cheeks.

“Samson,” she nearly growled as she stood right in front of him. “What have you done?”

“No concern to you, this man is one of the few who always supported me, Inquisitor. He never betrayed me. That should be enough,” his words cracked as he spoke, his voice dry and toneless, likely due to the hot environment they were in.

“So that is Maddox?” Beatrix asked him, a nod from the templar at once confirming her suspicion. “ _Why_ is he dead?”

“He drank all of his blightcap essence – a poison that is very effective, Inquisitor,” Samson gave her a lopsided grin that made her stomach turn.

“Why did he do this?” Beatrix asked, knowing the answer to the question long before Samson confirmed that as well.

“Why?” Samson chuckled. “Because I ordered him to, Inquisitor!” He burst out laughing then, tears streaming  down his cheeks. Laughed even when Beatrix ordered Cullen’s soldiers to place him under arrest. They moved him back to the entrance of the fortress, while Beatrix looked around for something that would help them destroy Corypheus and the red templars. She caught sight of a parchment lying on one of the tables as well as some kind of tools that lay nearby. Dorian informed her that the tools were used to make armor, and judging by the look of those, they were probably custom-made. She thought of Dagna, her arcane archivist back at the forge in Skyhold. Dagna would love to take a look at these tools. Smiling, she put them in her backpack.

When Beatrix had closed the red lyrium mine in Emprise Du Lion, the letters that Samson had sent to his commanding officers had all mentioned a special kind of armor he wore, made and maintained by his tranquil, Maddox. Beatrix realized that even though she had expected Samson to be wearing this armor, he hadn’t been in any kind of armor at all when they arrested him. This puzzled her. She continued to search for more objects that would help them, but realized that there was nothing else to find not a moment too soon because the whole structure looked ready to crumble to the ground.

As soon as she stepped outside the gates, she saw Cullen who was pacing back and forth in front of Samson. The ex-templar was sitting on a rock, his hands tied behind him, while two of Cullen’s soldiers stood at the ready, their swords drawn. Beatrix stood next to Cullen and frowned. Samson was quietly chuckling to himself, occasionally looking up at Cullen and Beatrix, chuckling even more when he did so.

“I’m going to ask again and I expect an answer from you this time,” Cullen growled as they both stared down at their prisoner. “Where is your armor?”

“Corypheus took it away,” Samson grinned.

“Why would he take away armor that was designed for you alone?” Cullen snarled.

“I told ya before, Commander,” Samson chuckled. “I don’t know what the Master plans. I only know he betrayed us.”

“Us?” Beatrix asked, flinching when Samson set his malevolent eyes on her instead.

“Us. Maddox and me, Inquisitor,” he laughed. “You _are_ a pretty one. Is she fire under the sheets, Rutherford?” He looked at Cullen. “Does this bitch get on her knees to pray to your-“

A resounding crack was heard throughout the camp as Cullen bashed Samson with a gauntleted fist. The templar immediately started bleeding from the wound, and slipped into unconsciousness.   

Beatrix chanced a look at Cullen’s face. He was looking down at Samson angrily, his eyes thundering as he lifted his head, turning to gaze into her own.

“ _No one_ insults you,” he said breathing heavily. “Not while I draw breath.”

…

Their return to Skyhold was uneventful, save from the broken man flinging insults at them both. Beatrix kept Cullen by her side, holding his hand whenever he looked especially murderous, and truth be told, he only continued their march by her side because she asked him to do so.

Once they arrived, Cullen ordered his soldiers to put the prisoner in one of the prison cells below and they both dismounted, handing their horses over to the stable hands that came to greet them.

“I can arrange for the trial to be held at once,” Beatrix said to Cullen in an even voice, looking deeply into his eyes. “But I won’t. You need to rest and get a grip on yourself, Cullen.”

“I know,” he sighed, shaking his head wearily. “I’ll stay away, I promise. I only have to check with Barris to see how the recruits are doing, and how the training is going before our march to the Arbor Wilds. I’ll be up for dinner with you as soon as I’m done.”

“I’ll be waiting,” Beatrix smiled as she gave him a kiss on his cheek. Cullen smiled down at her warmly and turned, heading towards the barracks.

Beatrix turned and walked towards the dungeons instead, her lips pursed. She wanted to know a couple of things, and felt Samson would just taunt them both if Cullen went with her.

The guards saluted as she approached his cell. He had been given some food already, but had not eaten and was staring directly into the wall opposite his cell.

“Inquisitor,” he smiled ruefully as she stopped in front of his cell. “Come to join me for dinner? I’m afraid I can’t share.”

“Talk to me, Samson,” she said as she placed a bottle of lyrium on the floor next to her, watching the ex-templar carefully. “I can give you a dose now, although it isn’t the red you are accustomed to. Even so, it would be welcome, wouldn’t it?”

Samson wet his lips nervously, his gaze on the little blue bottle.

“Or, I could move and crash it to pieces,” Beatrix made a movement with her boot, scraping the stone next to the bottle, while Samson whined out a ‘no!”.

“What do you want to know?” Samson asked, his eyes still on the blue bottle next to the Inquisitor’s right boot.

“I think you know, but I’ll ask the questions here. Tell me about your armor, you know who Corypheus gave it to, don’t you?”

Samson nodded, the sweat on his forehead now dripping slowly down the rest of his face. He licked his lips over and over, imagining the blue liquid on his tongue, in his mouth, inside him.

“Well? Who did Corypheus give it to?” Beatrix asked in a harsh, demanding voice. “Tell me or I swear I will crush this bottle right now!”

“He gave it to his general,” Samson said in a monotone. “To his vessel.”

“Vessel? What in the name of Andraste is a vessel?” Beatrix asked, annoyed at his reply.

“Well, what is a vessel to you, Inquisitor?” Samson smiled, looking up at her momentarily. “Something that holds a liquid, yeah?”

Beatrix brought her foot down on the bottle crushing it. Samson started to wail, but she paid no heed.

“Wrong answer,” she said and turned to walk away, going up the staircase.

She walked to one of the guards stationed at the door and ordered his lyrium dose to be given to him two hours later. Then she left, closing the door behind her.

…

As it was, the guards had been ordered to report to Cullen if Samson had any visitors. As he was inspecting the trebuchets they would be using in the Arbor Wilds, one of his soldiers approached, handing Cullen a missive. Cullen smiled at the young soldier and looked down at the message, which had been written by one of his guards stationed at the dungeons. He frowned as he read, then crushed the missive as the anger coursed through his body for a brief moment. Then, breathing in deeply, he strode up the mountain, arriving at Skyhold shortly and walking straight to the stairs that led to his tower.

Busying himself with a couple of reports, he wrote back two replies and took the rest with him. An hour later, he made his way down to the courtyard, the bright moonlight casting shadows along the way. Reaching Beatrix’s quarters he stopped for a few minutes, then knocked on her door, letting himself in as soon as she bade him to.

Her hair was still wet, and he embraced her and kissed her passionately as he entered the warm room. She lingered in his arms for a few moments, then helped him out of his armor, setting it on the armor rack next to the fireplace that she had brought up for him exclusively. He sighed with relief as they chatted on about non-important things, smiling at her as he ate a delicious meal the cook had prepared. At the end of the meal he stood up to wash his mouth and his face, coming back into the room a short while later.

“Anything you’d like to discuss, my love?” he asked as nonchalantly as he could, while taking her into his arms once again, hoping and wishing she did.

But Beatrix said nothing as she smiled at him, disentangling herself from his arms and holding on to his hand as she pulled him gently towards her huge bed. He frowned, unable to keep it in for a moment longer and sighed as he sat.

“Are you sure you have nothing to tell me, my love?” he insisted, holding her at arms’ length for a few moments.

“What’s gotten into you?” Beatrix finally asked, her eyes clouding over with guilt and sorrow.

“I’d hoped you would tell me about this,” he said, throwing the parchment on the bed next to her. “It hurts me that you won’t.”

“What?” Beatrix began as she took the parchment and started to read. Her eyes grew open in surprise and she looked at Cullen, who now looked a little angry as he gazed at her.

“Care to explain _why_ you didn’t tell me?” Cullen practically snarled.

Beatrix jumped to her feet, looking down at him, her sapphire eyes flashing angrily.

“I was going to tell you, but I wanted us to make love to each other! This is hardly something to discuss before a bonding moment now, is it?” Beatrix shouted as Cullen himself got to his feet.

“I see,” he said as he huffed a bit, struggling to keep his anger in check. “ _This_ is the kind of thing you discuss BEFORE sex, Beatrix! It’s important! What were you thinking going down there alone? Are you insane?”

“He is locked in a cell, Cullen! Last I checked, that’s to keep him from harming others!” Beatrix yelled, her eyes shooting daggers at him.

“No!” Cullen’s voice rose as well, his anger now manifesting itself in all its glory. “You don’t understand how dangerous this man is, Beatrix! You cannot do these things and expect me to accept them lightly because I won’t! I’ve known him for years now! I _know_ what he is capable of!”

“Yes, because I’m _clearly_ the ignorant one here!” Beatrix spat out, her hands now on her hips. “Let’s just call it a night. I’m sure you’re _DYING_ to get back to your work, Commander! That will be all!”

Cullen flinched at this, taking a step back, his anger evaporating almost instantly.

“Beatrix, I-“ he faltered, but she interrupted him before he could continue.

“I said leave! NOW!” she yelled shrilly, her eyes murderous.

Cullen shut his mouth, his anger quickly resurfacing. Whatever he was about to say was lost as he turned abruptly, putting on his armor angrily and not bothering to clasp the buckles together as he hurried out. He strode through the barely lit main hall, his pace fast and his eyes rapidly filling with angry tears.

Back in her quarters, Beatrix released a sob and slid to the floor, crying bitterly to herself. She vowed she wouldn’t talk to Cullen unless he apologized. Did he really think she wasn’t going to tell him?

Stupid man!

And back in the dungeons, a broken man now laughed to himself joyously, right after he was handed his first draught of blue lyrium in Skyhold.

…


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter written in total agony because my muse kept leaving and coming back! I wanted to write in my own dialogue instead of the one in the game, before their journey to the Temple of Mythal, so I hope it’s all clear and you like it!
> 
> Also, it gets NSFW around the middle, so fair warning! 
> 
> Thanks so much for all your lovely comments and kudos! A huge thank you to my beta, Lady Darksbane who is always there to help me!
> 
> Feedback is very much appreciated, would love to read what you think!
> 
> Next chapter: the Arbor Wilds!

…

Dorian sat in his comfortable chair in a part of the Inquisition library that had been claimed by him as soon as he had pledged his loyalty to Beatrix. There he sat, seemingly oblivious to the rest of the world. In truth, he had been thinking a lot about recent events that made him want to slap both Cullen and Beatrix repeatedly. He knew they were both stubborn, but he never expected them to be _this_ stubborn.

Beatrix was pining for the man. It hurt him to see his best friend suffering in silence. She put on this happy face for anyone else, but she had come crying to him the day after the fight. He had listened to her, unable to get a word in because she had been babbling and crying at the same time. He ended up hugging her and telling her it would be alright.

But that was the problem, wasn’t it? He didn’t really know if it _was_ going to be alright. So when three days came and went and they _STILL_ hadn’t made up, he wondered if he could help hurry things along.

He wanted a solution to the problem, but could not think of a single one. The more he thought about it, the more difficult it seemed. With a sigh he shut his book, wishing that this was one of those things that could be fixed with magic. Unfortunately for him, there wasn’t a spell in Thedas that could do this, so he would have to rely entirely on what he had in spades: his common sense and quick wit – not to mention his positively charming personality.

He still hadn’t had the chance to talk to Cullen. Standing up and stretching he realized that if he was truly going to help them get back together, he would have to do just that: visit Cullen and see for himself what the Commander of the Inquisition had to say. He knew from others that Cullen had been very cranky lately, and did not speak to anyone, but that wouldn’t stop the Tevinter mage.

Dorian just had to try.

He headed to the stairs and went down, crossing the rotunda where Solas was sitting at his desk, briefly waving to the elven mage who scowled up at him. Solas hated people just crossing his domain, but Dorian was not going to take the long way through the main hall and up the stairs to the battlements to finally reach the blasted tower. No. Time was of the essence here. He blew Solas a kiss, grateful that Bull wasn’t around to see that, and kept a smile on his face until he reached the Commander’s door.

Pausing only to check if his hair and mustache were neat and his robes immaculately free of dust or errant threads, he gave a series of short knocks on the wooden door that led into Cullen’s office. A loud ‘enter’ prompted him to walk inside, closing the door behind him and smiling at the Commander, who was scowling at a parchment on his desk.

“My dear Commander,” Dorian said after clearing his throat. “I was wondering if I could have a few words with you?”

“What did Sera do now?” Cullen said as he lifted his eyes to meet Dorian’s. The golden eyes were smoldering – twin orbs of fire beneath furrowed brows.

“I don’t think I would be here if it was to discuss Sera,” Dorian replied in a puzzled voice.

“Don’t tell me _you_ set something on fire,” Cullen countered.

“No! Nobody has done anything to anyone,” Dorian exclaimed, a bit put off by the whole thing. It was worse than he thought.

“Well, then, what in blazes are _you_ doing here?” the Commander asked harshly, his eyes now throwing daggers at the Tevinter mage.

“Honestly, if you’re going to carry on like this, I might as well leave,” Dorian replied looking crestfallen.

“I agree,” Cullen replied, turning back to the parchment on his desk.

Dorian huffed out a deep breath, trying to organize his thoughts properly. He really admired Cullen physically, but this attitude was appalling.

“Might I remind you that you are being excessively rude and I haven’t done anything at all to merit this?” Dorian spoke again, his voice laced with annoyance. “I realize you must be busy, but –“

“I don’t think you realize just how busy I am, quite frankly,” Cullen replied, putting the parchment on a neat pile on his left. “But since you’re still standing here, I’m quite sure you will not leave until I hear you out.”

Cullen straightened himself and crossed his arms in front of his chest, giving the mage his full attention. Dorian once again was surprised at his reaction. He thought it would be easier to speak to the man, but realized instantly that all of his ploys were doomed to fail, even those he hadn’t thought about yet. This man was not only angry, he was on the edge. Therefore, he decided that the only way to go was to use the direct approach.

“Commander it has come to my attention that you are in dire need of a spot of advice,” Dorian said directly, not caring if he was yelled at and starting to feel something like anger quickly escalate to the surface.

“Did the Inquisitor put you up to this?” Cullen asked, interrupting him. His eyes were no longer smoldering, and the pain that registered there now made Dorian feel a little sorry for him.

“No, she didn’t,” Dorian began, noticing the immediate slump in Cullen’s shoulders and the way he looked down, avoiding eye contact. “She doesn’t even know I’m here.”

“I’m very busy, Dorian. We march to the Arbor Wilds in two days.”

“This is precisely why I’m here. Are you going to wait until death is at our door before you talk to her again?”

The Commander straightened up again, his hand on the hilt of his sword, grasping it tightly, his lips pursed.

“I don’t see how this concerns you,” Cullen said through clenched teeth.

“It _does_ concern me,” Dorian replied quickly. “That woman is my _best friend_. She tried to fix my life and helped me become a better man because of it. She is the sweetest, most trustworthy person I know and she is in love with _you_. I don’t understand how you can stand there and _NOT_ do anything to try to win her back.”

There was silence for a few moments. Dorian could see that Cullen was struggling to keep the tears in check. Maker, these two were a tad bit melodramatic, but he was Dorian Pavus and he would not leave until he got it through the Commander’s thick skull that all this was ridiculous.

After a short while of deafening silence, Cullen spoke.

“I’m a broken person. She deserves someone better.”

“Of course she does. Unfortunately, I am not available,” Dorian replied. “Bull will never let me go.”

A smile came unbidden to Cullen’s face. He was quick to school his face back to its usual sternness, but Dorian had already seen it.

“Cullen,” the Tevinter mage said seriously. “She is in love with _you_. She wants only _you_. When are you going to understand and get that through your thick skull? Get her flowers. Woo her back. _Talk_ to her.”

“What if she doesn’t want me back?” Cullen asked in a low voice.

“How will you ever know if you don’t take the chance?” Dorian quickly asked back. “Vishante kaffas!”

“And what does _that_ mean, exactly?” Cullen asked, his eyes narrowing slightly.

“It means ‘I have had enough’,” Dorian sighed. “Win her over or I’ll slap you both silly.”

Cullen laughed, the sound bringing a grin on Dorian’s face.

“What should I do to win her back?” Cullen asked with a smile.

“Use your imagination,” Dorian answered. “I hope you still have one, for all our sakes.”

…

Beatrix took a deep breath and stopped, the sweat on her brow slowly traveling down her face. She looked around the training area, and realized that it was later than she thought. She had missed dinner again and had spent the entire afternoon practicing with the dummies. Not that she cared one bit. They were leaving for the Arbor Wilds in two days and she wanted to be ready.

She shrugged to herself and turned away, walking down the stairs to the main gates, but passed them, continuing her walk until she passed the stables. Black-Rainier was there with Josephine and they both lifted a hand to greet her, but turned back to the conversation they were having. Judging by their looks and smiles, it was a happy one.

She stopped at the well, where she drew the bucket and put in a ladle to take a long drink of water, her eyes scanning the rest of the fortress. Cullen was nowhere to be seen, which in itself was strange as he was always standing outside his office looking down at her whenever she practiced. She sighed as she left the ladle inside the bucket and the bucket on the ground at her feet. She then stopped one of the cook’s assistants and ordered her to change the ladle and bucket with a clean one for the night. The girl nodded eagerly and ran off.

Beatrix sighed again. It was time for a bath and…

Why hadn’t he been on the battlements? Could it be that he was truly over her? That he was moving on? The lump she had in her throat these days came back and she was suddenly struggling to hold the tears back.

No crying. She couldn’t cry again. She _shouldn’t_ cry again!

She made her way up the stairs into the main hall, keeping her eyes down as she walked, willing the nobles who were still there to go away. Unfortunately, they did not. She had to say hello to a few of them, then walked a little faster, reaching the door that led to her quarters at last.

As soon as she opened the door and closed it behind her, she leaned against it feeling an immense sense of relief. She could hide away here now and not have to pretend like she had been pretending these past three days. All she had to do was walk down this corridor and up the stairs and –

Why did the floor beneath her feel so soft?

Opening her eyes she saw she was standing on…ROSE PETALS! The whole corridor floor was full of rose petals! Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the rose petals on the stairs as well. She hurried down the corridor and up the stairs, flung the door open wide, then stepped into her room.

Her whole room was full of roses and rose petals. But that was not the best part. The best part was that Cullen was standing in front of her, holding a bouquet of deep red roses in his hand, looking at her as if she was a goddess.

“Please forgive me, my love,” he said in a clear but shaky voice. “I can’t live much longer without you.”

With a cry she hurled herself into his arms, the tears flowing fast now as he embraced her tightly, kissing the crown of her head and then lifting her in his arms so that he could get a good look at her. His amber eyes shone brightly with unshed tears, with love and adoration for her and Beatrix felt like the world was finally alright again.

“I love you so much,” he whispered as he kissed her. And then they were twirling on the floor in a tuneless dance, laughing and crying as they fell onto the bed, looking at each other breathlessly – their foreheads together, their hearts beating as one.

Sweetly and lovingly they made love to each other, reaching their climax together; holding each other tenderly when it was over. Beatrix felt like she was whole again: her Cullen was with her and she felt she could brave the nearest mountain at the moment knowing she would not fail.

Turning her head up, she met his eyes, her sapphire ones twinkling like the stars in the heavens as they captured his, shining golden from the firelight in the room.

“It’s about bloody time,” she said as she caressed his cheek. “What in blazes took you so long?”

…

They spent most of the night making love to each other and fell asleep in the wee hours of the morning. Cullen opened his eyes a few hours later to a cold room. The fire had gone out during the night at some point while they slept. He looked down at Beatrix, who was lying on the pillows. She was sleeping soundly on top of his arm. He needed to sit up to start the fire, and had to relieve himself, but didn’t want to wake her. So, he very slowly inched to the end of the bed, finally managing to disentangle himself from her. When his bare feet finally met the stone floor, he performed a dance of sorts to keep his feet from freezing. He hadn’t expected it to be so damned cold!

Reaching the pot to relieve himself he thought about the things that had to be done today and smiled when he realized they could be together all morning. The meeting had been scheduled for after the midday meal. Running back inside the room, he focused on lightning a fire, then stayed in front of it to warm himself up for a bit before finally turning to the bed. Beatrix was propped up against the headboard, wide awake and looking at him with a smile on her face.

“I didn’t mean to wake you, love,” he said as he walked back to the bed, slipping under the covers and moving to take her in his arms.

“You didn’t,” she replied with a chuckle. “I opened my eyes and there you were, standing in all your naked glory.”

Cullen smirked and flirted back. “Did you like what you saw?”

“Oh, yes! You have a perfect arse. Very squishable,” she hurried to say before she snuggled right up to him and stole a kiss.

His half-erection was suddenly hard and rigid as he kissed her back, humming lightly into her mouth. “I may not be able to control myself, my love,” he said against her lips. Her reply was to kiss him again passionately until they both came up for air.

“Do we have anything to do today, Cullen?” Beatrix asked as he tried to pull her to him as much as he could. He wanted to feel every inch of her skin against his.

“Hmmm. No, just…” Cullen’s voice trailed off as he took one of her nipples and suckled on it, making her mewl with pleasure.

“Cullen…Ah! Can’t we talk before….ah!”

“Hmmm?” Cullen hummed as she arched her back when he pulled on the other nipple, tweaking it.

“Cullen!”

“My love?” he asked as he looked up into her eyes, losing himself in them. Everything else had ceased to exist as far as he was concerned.

“Wasn’t there supposed to be a meeting?”

“Yes,” Cullen replied, then dove into the valley of her breasts again, his hands massaging them as she arched her body upwards. “You’re so beautiful,” came his hoarse whisper. “Maker, what have I done to deserve you?”

“Oh, Cullen!” she exclaimed when he suckled her other nipple. He smirked and looked up only to find her practically writhing on the bed. He took both breasts into his hands and massaged, tweaking the nipples and then blowing on them.

She keened as she arched her body towards him and his aching cock, brushing against it over and over until he started to feel he was losing control.  He stopped her movements by throwing an arm over her stomach, holding her fast on the mattress so he could part her thighs and focus on her delicious nub. She was already wet and his tongue on her only made her wilder, the mewls turning into ‘OH’s’ and ‘AH’s’ until she was screaming his name. Cullen then suckled her nub while two fingers slowly entered her. Maker, she was so tight!

He knew the exact moment when she was about to reach her climax. He hurried with his ministrations, hitting her spot over and over until she screamed his name again, sitting up on his hand and then falling back on the pillows, panting heavily.

He caressed her face, looking deeply into her eyes, smoothing a lock of hair away from her face and tucking it behind her ear as she looked up at him tenderly. “Cullen,” she breathed. “I love you so much.”

“As do I,” he replied. “Very much so.”

“What about you?” she asked, her voice low and breathy.

“Oh, we’re just getting started, don’t worry about me,” he smirked, taking her in his arms.

“But I think there’s a meeting?” she managed to say, just as he started to caress her lovingly.

“It’s after the noon meal, my love. Stop worrying, it’s barely dawn.”

She smiled up so sweetly at him that his breathing hitched. For one brief second, he couldn’t believe she was in his arms and he thanked the Maker for her yet again.

They made love until they were spent then dozed off. When they woke up it was late, so they bathed together and dressed, hurrying down the stairs to get to the main hall in time for lunch. As they approached the long table holding hands, Sera broke into a whistle, while Dorian gave Cullen a wide grin, waggling his eyebrows. Cullen sighed, then pulled Beatrix closer, grinning when the whole table broke into a noisy round of applause.

…

“The Arbor Wilds,” Beatrix sighed, scrutinizing the map carefully.

“My scouts report they are still travelling, they only stop to look into Elven ruins,” Leliana said.

“Why does he have this fascination for Elven Ruins all of a sudden?” Dorian asked curiously. “It’s not like the elves will help him or anything.”

“Indeed,” Solas replied drily.

The double doors leading to the war table room creaked ominously and Morrigan shut them behind her as she walked into the room, holding her head high.

“I believe I can answer that,” she said nodding to Beatrix respectfully.

“Please do, Morrigan,” Beatrix said with a smile.

“The Inquisitor has seen the Eluvian I keep in a room off the gardens,” Morrigan commented. “An Eluvian is an Ancient Elven mirror quite likely used for travelling. I believe this is the reason why the elves didn’t build roads.” She reached the war table and turned slightly to take a look at the advisors and inner circle at last. Seeing that she had their absolute attention, she smiled as she continued her speech.

“The Eluvians lead to places in between the Fade. I am certain that Corypheus is looking for one. This Eluvian is most certainly in an ancient elven ruin within the Arbor Wilds. A temple to Mythal, according to my records. I wanted to seek it out immediately after the Blight was over, but the forests that surround the temple are full of danger and I could not breach them. I had to look elsewhere for the Eluvian I have now.”

“A temple to Mythal,” Solas murmured behind Beatrix. “If it is untouched, it may very well hold an Eluvian.”

“Since Corypheus wants to breach the Fade, Morrigan and I believe it would be easier for him to do so from the ‘Crossroads’, which are what we call the spaces in between the Fade and Thedas,” Beatrix added. “He only needs to find an Eluvian to accomplish this.”

The room fell into an uncomfortable silence. The threat suddenly felt very real to all of them. Sera fidgeted nervously on her feet, sliding closer to Thom Rainier and Iron Bull without even noticing. Varric frowned, his brow furrowed as he contemplated what was to come.

“We will soon march to the Arbor Wilds,” Beatrix said, her voice determined and resolute. “Leliana, how far is Corypheus from the Arbor Wilds now? Did your scouts send word?”

“Yes, Inquisitor. He’s probably halfway to the Arbor Wilds, but my scouts reported that there are at least four more Elven ruins along the way. If their information is correct, it will take Corypheus longer to reach his destination because he will be stopping to take a look inside each of these ruins.” 

“That’s good. It gives us an advantage over him. Even if it’s a slight one, we must take it. Do you estimate your soldiers can reach the Arbor Wilds in time, Commander?” Beatrix turned to Cullen, who was studying the map intently.

“No. A full army will take too long to cut through the forest. But,” he turned to Leliana, “your scouts can be there in a very short time and some are already stationed there, am I right, Spymaster?”

“Yes, Commander.” Leliana responded. “I have already sent more scouts there to try to sabotage the Red Templars if they reach the Arbor Wilds before we do. It’s easier to work from there at stopping their progress.”

“I can write to our allies in the Dales, they are closer as well,” Josephine said.

Beatrix nodded eagerly. “Then, let’s do this. Leliana, send word to all your scouts, have them reach the Wilds before Corypheus’s army if they can. Josephine, contact your people in the Dales. Cullen, you must march as soon as possible in order to meet with the rest. As for the rest of you and myself, we’ll set out at dawn tomorrow, rather than wait for another day to pass. If we all stick together and work towards our common destination, we should be able to arrive just in time to prevent him from taking the temple and whatever is inside it.”

“Aye, Inquisitor,” Rainier spoke from his place on the left of the room. “We’ll finish off the bastard if I have anything to say about it.”

“Thank you all for your help. United we shall see that this finally comes to an end. Get ready to leave at first light tomorrow, my friends,” Beatrix smiled as she turned to look at each and every one in the room. “We’ll give Corypheus and his army a welcome they will never forget.”

“Inquisitor, before you leave the room,” Leliana said abruptly. “Dagna wanted to speak to you.”

“I’ll go right away,” Beatrix smiled at the Spymaster, who smiled back. “If she has something to say, I’m sure it will be invaluable to us.”

…

Cullen accompanied Beatrix to the Undercroft, where Dagna was stationed. They saw her working at something, humming loudly as she worked.

The smith nodded a welcome to them both and went back to the weapons he was making. Dagna turned to smile at them when Beatrix and Cullen finally stood in front of her.

“I received the message Dagna,” Beatrix smiled. “Is there anything you’d like to tell me?”

“Inquisitor!” Dagna cried out happily. “I’m so glad you’re here. I just finished it. Well, not exactly ‘just’, but a short while ago! I’m sure it’ll help you!”

She turned around, looking for something, while Beatrix smiled and exchanged a look with Cullen, who rolled his eyes. Beatrix bit the insides of her cheek to keep herself from laughing. She could clearly hear Cullen’s ‘Maker’s breath’ in her mind.

When Dagna finally turned, she was holding a rune of some kind in her hand, which was glowing red – the glowing light pulsating slowly as if it was a beating heart.

“I took poor Maddox’s tools and after calculating the leak of immediate…” Dagna’s voice trailed off, noticing the blank looks on both Beatrix and Cullen. Chuckling mostly to herself she continued, but this time was more direct, skipping the explanation they both would never really understand.

“This rune will destroy Samson’s armor,” she said firmly, handing the glowing rune to Beatrix, who took it gingerly, holding it carefully in her hands without touching the area that glowed. “I know it isn’t Samson who is wearing the armor. Not that I’m implying I’ve visited him in the dungeons or anything, but –“

“It’s fine, Dagna. We all know that the armor is now being used by someone else. We just haven’t found out who yet,” Beatrix grinned as she slipped the rune inside one of her larger pockets. “If it destroys that armor then –“

“The person wearing it will be vulnerable to your attacks, Inquisitor,” Dagna finished off happily, her grin now huge as she regarded Beatrix and Cullen proudly.

“Now that’s something I enjoy hearing,” Beatrix chuckled, looking back at Cullen briefly and winking up at him.

“I agree,” Cullen replied, the relief in his voice apparent. “This means the person wearing it can be killed, correct?”

“Yes, Commander. The person wearing the armor can very well be killed if you use that rune,” Dagna replied with a chuckle.

“A pity you can’t make more. One for each of the red templars,” Beatrix laughed.

“Not enough time, love,” Cullen smiled. “But this is an advantage that will likely herald our victory when we battle Corypheus’s red templars.”

“Victory is the key word here,” Beatrix agreed. “We will _not_ fail.”

…


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes:
> 
> Hello everyone! First of all sorry for not posting the chapter sooner, but my PC crashed and took everything with it! All my outlines for this chapter and future ones, gone, lost in cyber space.
> 
> This chapter is the Arbor Wilds at last. There will be revelations and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thank you all for your comments, kudos and bookmarks, you all rock! Many thanks also to my wonderful beta, LadyDarksbane, who is ALWAYS there for me!
> 
> Leave a comment if you want! I always love to hear from you! :D

…

Since Cullen had left in the afternoon with his army, Beatrix had nothing left to do except sharpen her daggers and ready her armor in preparation of what was to come. She also had a bow made previously just in case the enemy was too far away. Dagna had enchanted the bow so that it gave her a health and stamina boost when in use. Once again, Beatrix felt grateful to her instructors who had taught her the proper use of daggers and a bow. Without all she had learned, she would have surely died by now.

Soon, it was time for the evening meal. She sat at the head of the table, oblivious to the chatter all around her, smiling every now and then to one of her companions. She left the table after she was done, urging them all to get a good night’s sleep. Then, she walked straight to her quarters, her mind on a long hot bath and early night.

She tried not to think about Cullen or miss him too much, but the truth was that she did. When she finally fell asleep after much tossing and turning it was to find herself in a place she thought she wouldn’t return to, unless she was badly injured.

The leaves and green grass swayed lazily in the warm breeze as the sun shone down, making her feel happy and calm. She sat, her gaze on the trees and stream that ran through, the sand sparkling white on the bank where the sun rays fell. She sat where she always sat and waited.

Sure enough, the Lady in White appeared, smiling at her as Beatrix stood up.

“Why am I here? I haven’t been injured,” Beatrix asked, tilting her head to one side as she looked at her curiously.

“No,” the Lady simply replied. “But you needed to be calm. What awaits you requires you to be calm. I am here to grant you some peace, so that you do not fail.”

“Why haven’t you appeared before? I required more peace back then.”

“Yes,” the Lady nodded with a smile. “I did not wish to frighten you before. I have always been with you. Even before you arrived at Haven. And then the one you love was with you. Now he is not.”

Beatrix frowned, turning her head slightly as she remembered her goodbye to Cullen, feeling his kiss on her lips once again.

“He will be alright,” the Lady said in a quiet voice. “You both will be fighting together soon, as you well know.”

“One of us will be badly injured, right?” Beatrix commented, turning to fix her eyes on the Lady. “This is why I need to be calm.”

“Know this: I cannot tell you exactly what lies ahead. But I can tell you that you are strong, and that is what will matter.”

“You don’t _wish_ to tell me what lies ahead,” Beatrix said angrily. “I didn’t ask for this life. I never wanted to be the Inquisitor.”

“No, you did not. You will have what you wish for and more, but not as soon as you would like.”

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?”

The Lady did not reply. Her yellow eyes scanned the beauty around her and she turned, fixing them upon Beatrix.

“You need to wake now. You will not forget what was spoken here.”

“Wait!” Beatrix called after her as the Lady turned and walked away. “Why can’t you give me a straight answer?”

She jolted awake and sat up in her huge bed, panting. Outside the first rays of the sun touched the darkness, peeking through her balcony windows. Cullen’s side of the bed was neat and orderly, just as it had to be, for he was marching to the Arbor Wilds and not with her.

She felt like crying. Even so, she quickly stood and readied herself for the journey ahead, all the while praying to the Maker to keep him safe from harm. The Lady’s words echoed in her head, making her dread the Arbor Wilds far more than she had previously.

When she finally hurried down the stairs to meet with her inner circle she was confused and worried, her stomach twisted into knots at what lay ahead for them all. Maker help her if anything happened to the man she loved, for she didn’t think she would survive long enough without him. Even so, she was the Inquisitor, and she had to kill Corypheus.

She had to kill Corypheus and she _would_.

In mere moments, she realized _this_ was what she needed as soon as she felt the anger coursing through her veins. She smiled at her companions and took her horse by the reins, leading him out of the stables.

_This_ was what she had to focus on because it made her appear calm and confident as she mounted her steed and held up a hand to the rest, prompting them to do the same. _This_ was what was she had to focus on because it gave her the strength to chat normally to Cassandra as they all crossed the bridge towards the outer gate, smiling at Dorian who picked up the pace to ride along by her side.

Her fear gradually vanished the more she held on to her anger – held on to her desire to rip evil from the face of Thedas forever.  
  
_This_ was what she had to focus on because she no longer dreaded what was to come, because she _WELCOMED_ what was to come: she had to kill Corypheus and she _WANTED_ to do this.

And for the moment, it was enough.

…

Everyone that had to be in the Arbor Wilds was there by the time Beatrix and her Inner Circle arrived. Josephine, who had marched ahead with Cullen and his armies was talking to Empress Celene, who had traveled with her army. Beatrix talked for a moment with them both then joined her companions. She asked some of them to fight their way to the Commander’s soldiers, to help in any way they could. Beatrix then turned to Morrigan, Solas, Cassandra and Varric, asking them to come with her. Cole would be around both parties to lend his aid wherever needed.

They fought their way across the terrain, which was full of trees and rocky hills covered in moss. The fight in itself wasn’t hard at the beginning, but as they moved deeper into the wild forest, they discovered to their dismay that they were also fighting elves – rogue elves that fought like trained assassins.

“Wait!” Varric called behind Beatrix, who was currently in stealth. “Who called in the creepy elf assassin army?” One of his arrows killed an elf instantly, while Cassandra turned slightly and decapitated another one.

“This may be the reason why so many haven’t returned from the Wilds,” Morrigan mused, turning around in a complete circle continuously to avoid being stabbed in the back.

“Well, that certainly makes me feel _so_ much better,” Varric promptly shot back at the witch, who ignored him completely, freezing an elf that had just appeared behind Varric, who turned and muttered his thanks to the dark-haired mage.

Beatrix quickly reappeared behind the frozen elf and brought her daggers so hard upon him, the elf shattered instantly into pieces.

“Who knows if that was the last one? We much watch our step,” Cassandra urged them all as they continued on their trek.

Presently they arrived at a chokepoint where the vegetation cleared a bit, showing pieces of broken bridges over a shallow river. Beatrix soon spotted Cullen and some of his men fighting templars across the river and she broke into a run, while Solas quickly cast an arcane shield over her to keep her from immediate harm. The rest joined the fray very quickly, unwilling to leave Beatrix alone in the face of danger – even though she wasn’t alone, since Cullen now was fighting back to back with her, his soldiers also defending them.

There were a couple of red templar monsters that attacked, no longer recognizable as human, since the red lyrium shot out of their bodies as spikes and they were so unbelievably tall. Their faces bore no human features and they could not speak, only let out growls and roars that thundered across the area. Beatrix knew these behemoths were vulnerable to the cold and she shouted at her mages to cast ice cold spells repeatedly so that the melee fighters could get closer to them and bring them down.

When the fight ended, Cullen brought his arms around Beatrix and held her close, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. Beatrix gradually disentangled herself from him and looked up into his eyes with a dazzling smile that made his pulse quicken.

“Could we skip the romance?” Varric said in a loud voice. “We’ll be late to the party if we don’t!”

Cullen scowled at the dwarf who winked at him with a wolfish grin. “Right,” the Commander said, blushing slightly. “the gates to the temple are over there, Inquisitor. I will see you through this.”

“What do you mean?” Beatrix asked, knowing full well what his answer was going to be.

“I’m coming with you,” Cullen said briskly. “This is NOT open for discussion, love.” Pausing only to smile at Barris who was standing right next to him he spoke. “Barris, you are in charge now. See that the men get some water, and wait for the rest here. I may need you later.”

“Yes, Commander,” Barris replied immediately, bowing his head respectfully as he gave out orders.

“Well! I don’t think you even gave me time to protest!” Beatrix said, her eyes slightly widened with surprise.

“I know,” Cullen replied with a smirk.

“Gotta hand it to you, Curly. You’re becoming smooth,” Varric commented with a grin. Cullen grinned back at the dwarf, looking pleased with himself.

“Shall we proceed?” Morrigan added with an annoyed huff. “lest the trees swallow us up whole?”

Nobody replied to that and they all followed Morrigan to a wide arc that looked like the entrance to a tunnel. They soon discovered this was not the case, as there was a golden door they opened into a hallway that was vibrantly green because of all the vegetation. This hallway rapidly led them to an open courtyard of sorts. They stopped in their tracks at this point, for Beatrix was gesturing at them to be quiet, as they approached a wide balcony that overlooked the courtyard. There were voices coming from that area that told them the red templars were already inside the elven structure.

They stopped and Beatrix froze when she heard a voice saying, “They still think to oppose us, Master.” That voice! She had heard it before, but this voice was… _wrong_! It _felt_ wrong – terribly wrong!

Corypheus’s voice boomed in reply. “These are but remnants. They will not keep me from the Well of Sorrows.”

Well of Sorrows? Beatrix chanced a look at Morrigan who gestured she had no idea what they were talking about. But it was when she managed to peek down into the courtyard over the railing that she felt her head start to spin. Cullen caught her in his arms, one of his hands immediately covering her mouth, stopping her from uttering the cry that died in her throat as pain laced through her heart.

The red templar who had been speaking to Corypheus, the man who was calling the creature ‘Master’, was none other than Beatrix’s brother, Andras. And that was not the worst thing. The armor he was wearing was a brilliant red in several places, red lyrium spikes shooting from the chestpiece and pauldrons. An eerie red glow emanated from the red lyrium, pulsating menacingly. Her brother was wearing what surely must have been Samson’s armor.

At once, the images of the Lady in White filled Beatrix’s head, her words echoing clearly in her mind as she remembered each and every syllable spoken.

_What awaits you requires you to be calm. I am here to grant you some peace, so that you do not fail_.

_This_ was what the Lady meant when she told Beatrix she had to be strong. _This_ was what lay ahead.

Her brother was Corypheus’s fucking general. Her brother had replaced Samson. In an instant she realized that she was going to have to kill her own brother to win this bloody battle. Anguish and sadness gripped her and were it not for Cullen who was holding her closely, she would have fainted dead away.

Instead, she remembered the Lady in White and suddenly stood straight, turning slightly to look up at her Commander. His tender look filled her with a warmth that gave her the strength she needed to focus on what lay ahead. Instead of feeling like she was dying, she felt calm and strangely composed.

But she knew deep down inside that before this was done, she would surely die a hundred deaths and it didn’t matter.

Because Cullen would be there to bring her back to life.

…

Corypheus had died, disintegrated into nothing. And before their very eyes a dead warden suddenly shook and stood, turning into Corypheus. The horror was once again alive. They had run across the bridge followed closely by his pet dragon who had made an appearance. The very same one that had attacked at Adamant. The same one that had killed so many at Haven.

They had fought red templars while her brother had pressed onwards, slipping away from their grasp each and every time. Each and every time Beatrix had felt she couldn’t go on. And each and every time, Cullen had squeezed her hand, or touched her shoulder, so that she _could_ go on, knowing she was not alone.   

So they had ventured deeper into the temple. They had solved puzzles, and met Abelas, the elf that commanded elven soldiers who were all sworn to Mythal. They kept the temple safe. They kept invaders out. They would _NOT_ let anyone reach the Well of Sorrows and they would die protecting it.

Abelas offered them an alliance of sorts. He would see them safely reach their enemy. After they fought and killed the red templars, they would leave and never return. Abelas was confident his elven soldiers would kill any remaining enemies and the Well would be safe from the invaders.

But Corypheus and his red templar army were not just _anyone_. They were a force that slowly, but surely, were killing every single ancient elven warrior that fought to drive them away. In the end, Abelas himself had run off to save the Well or destroy it to keep it from falling into the wrong hands. Morrigan had shapeshifted into a bird to follow the elf, leaving Beatrix and her group behind with a guide that would take them through secret passages to where her brother and his army of red templars were fighting.

When they finally arrived, Beatrix felt weak in the knees as she stood in front of the doors that led to all the fighting. She felt sickened at the thought of confronting her brother.

Behind her and very close, Cullen cleared his throat.

“Love, I’m right here.”

Beatrix turned to face him, feeling a lump in her throat that would not go away. “I don’t think I can go on,” she said in a small voice.

“You don’t have to go on, love,” Cullen whispered, pulling her into a tight embrace, rocking her slightly. The feeling of utter despair eased a little. Her teammates stood close to her, offering her their silent companionship. “We can take him down without you.”

“We’ll go in and kick his ass, Buttercup,” Varric said patting her arm. Cassandra on the other hand, said nothing, but anger flashed in those brown eyes, concern in them every time she stole a glance at Beatrix.

“Inquisitor,” Solas said simply. “We are here.”

The images of the Lady in White suddenly invaded her thoughts and once again she remembered her words.

“I can never thank you all enough,” Beatrix said, disentangling herself from Cullen’s arms, feeling once again the strength that she thought she had lost. “But I have to see this through.” She paused and looked up into Cullen’s amber eyes, smiling. “And yes, I’m sure, my love.”

“Then let us see this done,” Cullen replied, opening the double doors in front of them.

…

The fighting proved to be a bit more difficult this time, for there were shadow templars, red lyrium monsters that flitted in and out of the shadows and attacked while in stealth.

In and out of the shadows they danced, their attacks deadlier for they used red lyrium as weapons. As soon as these were dispatched, the remaining templars fell quite easily.

They soon reached a room that had a circular staircase leading down. From this vantage point they could clearly see a round pool, shimmering in the distance. This was clearly The Well of Sorrows. Directly behind it, Beatrix saw an Eluvian. Morrigan had been right about that after all.

They went down the stairs, and came to a stop. The area was teeming with red templars, but Beatrix’s eyes were on her brother, who was trying to find a way up the circular area that held the Well.

“Andras!” she shouted, advancing a few steps while Cullen and the rest adopted a defensive stance by her side, their weapons at the ready.

“Ah, dear sweet sister,” Andras purred turning to face her. Beatrix gasped. His eyes were a bloody red color and red lyrium spikes shot out from the sides of his face. “Come to face your death at last?”

“Why have you done this Andras? Why did you…”

But Andras cut her off, taking a step towards her. “It was ALWAYS _YOU_ , wasn’t it sister? You _GENEROUSLY_ gave me titles and land and I couldn’t compete with that, until I became a templar and had father’s approval at last. But see, that templar was weak! I AM STRONG now! Stronger than _YOU_! I will show father that I serve the real Maker! I will show them WHO is the best one! Not you, the scholar, the witty one, the one doing everything for everyone, BUT ME! ME! I WILL BE MORE! They will finally see they chose poorly!”

Beatrix shook her head, unable to believe what she was hearing. Cullen got closer. “Don’t trust what he says, love, he has been taken by the red lyrium madness.”

“Ah, the grand lover, willing to die for his love? Like you DIED during the avalanche at Haven?” Andras burst out laughing. “I said I would kill you then, so it’s time to fulfill my promise!”

“Stand back, monster. You are _NOT_ her brother,” Cullen snarled angrily.

“You must learn to keep your pets on a leash, Bea,” Andras boomed, giving a short bark of a laugh. “See here my armor! Look upon it and cringe! _THIS_ will keep me safe. I will _not_ die here today. But you all will. I am Corypheus’s general. I am his vessel!”

“How are you a vessel?” Beatrix asked in a quiet voice taking a step forward. “What are you here to do?”

“What does a vessel do, sister?” Andras sneered stepping closer to her. Cullen noted with alarm that they were getting too close for comfort and stepped forward as well, ready to shield Beatrix with himself if necessary. “I will take the secrets of the Well, and bring them to my Master. He will rule as a true god from the Heavens!”

“You are insane,” Beatrix hissed, now but a few steps away. “And how exactly will that red lyrium keep you safe, brother? How safe will you be when all the power you have can be suddenly stripped away?”

She quickly took out the rune Dagna had made and held it out. The rune pulsated madly and Andras’s eyes widened. Suddenly there was a small explosion and Andras fell to his knees. The red lyrium coming out of his chest was gone, as were the spikes from the sides of his face and pauldrons. Andras panted on the floor heavily, and looked directly at her as he stood, his countenance angry and twisted.

“You’ll pay for that!” he screamed, rushing forward, unsheathing his greatsword as he did. “Kill them!” he roared out to the rest of the templars in the room. His greatsword met Cullen’s sword, and he laughed as he spun in a circle, while Cullen took the blows with his shield.

More ancient elven warriors appeared to help with the fight. One of them carrying a great axe executed a mighty blow directly at Andras, which made him fall back and give a shout of anger. But Beatrix’s brother leapt up and quickly joined the fray again.

For a short while, it looked like the templars would win, but then the battle took a turn when shadowy elven rogue assassins joined the fray. In mere minutes, they were pushing the remaining templars back to the waterfall and the ones still left standing were suddenly not attacking, but fighting for their lives.

Beatrix, Cullen and Cassandra cornered Andras and the general merely kept laughing, growing in size as he stunned them with a blow to the stone floor. Soon he was towering above them all, and Beatrix disappeared into the shadows, trying to surprise him from behind.

But it was her brother she was fighting, and he knew all her moves. All at once he turned, taking Cullen in a death grip and pinning the Commander of the Inquisition to his chestpiece, cackling merrily as he did so. Beatrix reappeared, rushing towards them both and coming to a stop right in front of them.

“No, Andras!” she said, pure terror in her eyes as he held Cullen tightly, his sword coming close to the Commander’s neck.

Cullen struggled, putting up a fight, but was no match for the red lyrium general’s strength. Just as he was about to decapitate Cullen, Cassandra stepped closer behind the distracted general. A crossbow bolt suddenly embedded itself in Andras’s forehead and Cassandra swiftly brought her sword across Andras’s neck, decapitating him.

…

Beatrix had fallen to her knees, feeling immense grief and anger. But there was no time to grieve. She rushed to Cullen and checked to see if he was alright. He embraced her quickly and assured her he was fine. Cassandra spotted Abelas, and she pointed to the elf.

“Abelas!” Beatrix shouted. The elf waved his hand and a staircase appeared leading upwards, directly to the Well of Sorrows. The bird that Morrigan had turned into flew up chasing him as he took the steps, two at a time. Beatrix and her team followed closely behind.

Once there, Morrigan changed back to her human form, her eyes narrowing as she stopped Abelas from walking a single step forward. The ancient elven warrior’s shoulders drooped slightly and his gaze flicked from Morrigan to Beatrix a few times, before finally settling on Morrigan.

“So, the sanctum is despoiled at last,” he announced sadly.

Morrigan was silenced by Beatrix, stopping the angry words the witch hurled at the ancient elven warrior standing before them. Immediately afterwards, Abelas recognized that there was a certain righteousness in Beatrix and acknowledged that she had taken the path of Mythal because she had solved the ancient elven puzzles on her way to the sanctum. This was of utmost importance to the Ancient Elven Warrior, realizing at last that his time was done.

No matter how hard she tried to convince him to stay and fight at her side, Abelas left after Solas said a few comforting words to him.

Then both Morrigan and Beatrix engaged in a discussion on who would drink from the Well. A short time afterwards however, Beatrix took a few steps back as Morrigan argued with her, suddenly finding herself teetering over the edge of the Well of Sorrows, stumbling and falling inside with a great splash.

Beatrix inadvertently swallowed some of the water as she made an effort to get up and breathe. All at once, many voices were talking to her in Elvish. Beatrix turned around in circles, trying to understand what the voices were telling her. In an instant, powerful knowledge rushed through and into her, making her sit up, coughing and panting, realizing she was safe in Cullen’s arms.  

“Inquisitor! I was willing to drink from the Well!” Morrigan said loudly, her eyes narrowed at her.  

Cullen, in the meantime, checked Beatrix over, looking for any signs of injuries. Beatrix  quickly disentangled herself from his arms and took two steps forward, feeling with immense horror that they were going to be attacked. Everyone looked closely at her as she pointed  to a balcony a short distance away from where they were standing.

A gasp was heard in the group when Corypheus appeared on the balcony, looking in their direction.  

The Eluvian suddenly sparked to life behind them. “Quickly! Through the mirror!” Morrigan shouted, as Cullen pulled on Beatrix, trying to enter the mirror with her to escape the Ancient Tevinter Magister.

Morrigan quickly passed through the mirror, followed by Varric and Solas. Cassandra followed closely behind and quite suddenly Cullen and Beatrix were left alone to face the monster. 

“Love, please!” Cullen whispered in a strangled voice. “If we do not go through the mirror soon, Corypheus will kill us both!” But Beatrix stood in front of the mirror, frozen with horror as Corypheus propelled himself upwards and _FLEW_ towards them. Only then did she take a few steps back, while Cullen drew his sword, eager to protect his love from harm.

At that very same moment, Corypheus reached the now empty Well of Sorrows. Suddenly, water shot up from the Well and a figure rose from the water. The figure was naked at first, but it was wrapped in a white flowing dress immediately afterwards.   

“You will _not_ touch her!” the Lady in White practically growled, facing Corypheus. “I will _no_ t let you harm her!”

Cullen gave one final tug at Beatrix’s arm, and they both ran through the Eluvian, reaching the room where Morrigan’s mirror was kept. All of them watched in a daze as Morrigan turned and cast a spell on the mirror, which darkened instantly.

No Corypheus. Morrigan had effectively closed the Eluvian tightly before he could even hope to reach them. They were safely back in Skyhold and by the looks of things no one had been seriously injured.  

Suddenly, Beatrix cried out and moved quickly to the side of the room, stumbling to her knees and vomiting violently onto the floor. Cullen rushed to her side, helping her back up again, pulling her into a tender embrace.

“My love! You’re ill!” he exclaimed. “I’ll get you to the healer at once.”

Solas quietly left with a small smile on his face and Cassandra followed both Beatrix and Cullen out of the room, with Varric trailing behind the Seeker.

“Now that was _crazy_!” Varric exclaimed. “This book is going to make millions!”

…


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter this time, but a few important revelations…or maybe not, lol.
> 
> I want to thank my darling beta, Lady Darksbane, for her constant help and support. Please check out her fics, they are truly wonderful. Also many thanks to all of you who are following this crazy fic and who have given me kudos. A special thanks to those who loyally comment to each and every chapter! I love you guys!
> 
> Next chapter: The Sore Loser aka The Day Corypheus Lost His Ball…ahem.
> 
> Please feel free to comment, I love reading what you think!

…

Beatrix never saw the healer. She begged Cullen to just let her go to her quarters. As Cullen lay her on her bed after helping her bathe and wash her hair, he told her he would send missives to Josephine and Leliana, who were still in the Arbor Wilds.

“I’ll be back before you know it, love,” he murmured, smoothing the hair from her face as she looked up at him lovingly. “You should rest.”

“I will,” Beatrix replied in a low voice. “Just hurry back.”

Cullen gave her a lopsided smirk and nodded, straightening up only after kissing the crown of her head. He turned and walked off to the stairs, then went down, closing the door quietly behind him.

Beatrix sighed as she settled on the pillows and blankets. No sooner had she closed her eyes, than the voices came to life. They were telling her things she didn’t understand at all, and growing louder. With a grimace she sat up in bed and massaged her temples. It would have been better for Morrigan to take a sip of the Well’s water. At least the witch knew Elvish.

There was a knock on the door and she shouted at whoever was knocking, asking them to come in. Solas stepped into the room and gave her a small smile as he walked towards her and sat on the chair that was close to the bed.

“The voices are bothering you, are they not?” the elven mage immediately asked.

“How do you – “ Beatrix began, but stopped when Solas held up his hand.

“My spirit friends tell me everything that I need to know. I knew what would happen if you drank from the well. The fact that it was an accident does nothing whatsoever to stop the voices.”

“That’s comforting,” Beatrix commented sarcastically, shutting her eyes tightly for a few moments. But when she opened them again, she shook her head.

She could still hear the bloody voices and they were slowly becoming more than a simple discomfort one could brush away.

“Allow me to assist, Inquisitor,” Solas said. “If you can write what you are hearing, I may be able to understand what they are saying.”

“I don’t write Elvish,” Beatrix began, but stopped when Solas shook his head.

“You write down exactly what you hear. I will read it and since I know the language, I might be able to decipher what you are hearing.”

“Why do you think this will even work? Things don’t ‘just work’ at the first try, you know,” Beatrix pointed out. There was a bad headache that was creeping into her brain and she would soon be rendered speechless – not to mention the fact that her anger was rearing its ugly head. She didn’t want to snap at Solas.

“How do you know it will not work? Have a little faith, Inquisitor,” Solas replied, his brow furrowed for a few moments. “The fact is that, like most things, the voices will not still until they are heard and understood.”

She sighed deeply, then nodded. “There’s some parchment and a quill on my desk. I’ll start writing exactly what I hear then.”

For the briefest of moments, Beatrix’s eyes fell on the wolf jaw amulet Solas wore around his neck. Her burrow furrowed, but Solas had already stood up to grab the materials she needed in order to write. Why did Solas wear this amulet and what did it mean? But then there was no way to ponder on this or seek the answer, because Solas returned and she sat herself up in bed and started to write what she was hearing.

When she wrote the same patterns over and over again, she told Solas this and he took the parchment from her to read.

“It says here that there is a way to vanquish Corypheus, Inquisitor,” Solas said after a few moments. “You will have to kill the dragon. He will come back to life unless the dragon is dealt with.”

“Oh, that’s perfect! Why didn’t we think about killing his dragon before?” Beatrix clapped her hands together.

The sarcasm in her voice made Solas frown, but returned to the parchment. “You will have help with the dragon. You will have help from Mythal herself.”

Beatrix stopped talking, her eyes widening slightly. “Mythal exists?”

“According to the voices, yes,” Solas replied, still looking at the parchment. “You will meet her yourself, and very soon.”

Beatrix did not laugh. Surprisingly, the voices had stopped. She caught Solas looking at her, his enigmatic half-smile prompting her to speak.

“You know, don’t you? You know the voices have stopped.”

“I told you before, Inquisitor. Just like everything else, they only wished to be heard and understood.”

…

By the time Cullen had returned, Solas was gone. He frowned when he saw Beatrix still wide awake, sitting in front of the fire.

“Love, why are you awake?” He hurried forward to her side as she slowly stood. Taking her in his arms, he saw she was trembling.

“My love, what’s wrong?” he murmured. She sighed into his breast plate and looked up into his eyes.

“Solas was just here. He wanted to help me with…” Beatrix began, shaking her head as she pulled her Commander to the love seat. As Cullen sat beside her and turned to face her she sighed again. “I’m hearing elven speech in my head, Cullen. Ever since I drank some of the water in the Well. It was getting extremely annoying and…”

“Maker’s breath!” Cullen said, his eyes widening slightly in shock. “I’m sorry this happened, love. I tried to reach you before you fell –“

“This isn’t your fault, my love,” Beatrix interrupted, pursing her lips. “It was an accident. I was feeling dizzy and I just didn’t remember there was water behind me. Please promise me you won’t blame yourself.”

Cullen let out a sigh and looked deeply into her eyes. “I’ll try,” came his reply. “Is this why you were ill a while back when we arrived?”

“I – don’t know, Cullen. But Solas came here and he tried to help me with the voices,” Beatrix replied, her eyes now looking past Cullen’s. “He had me write down everything I heard, he read the sounds and interpreted them.”

“And? Did he help?”

“Yes, the voices are gone for now. I _can_ defeat Corypheus. But I must kill his dragon first,” Beatrix said wistfully, her voice trailing off as if deep in thought.

“And how exactly are you going to do that? You realize that this is the dragon that killed hundreds in Haven? The very same one that almost killed _you_ at Adamant?” Cullen hurried to say, his voice laden with concern.

Beatrix turned back to look at him. “We were in a temple dedicated to Mythal. And Solas just told me I would have help from...from Mythal herself.”

“Mythal is going to appear in front of you and help you?” Cullen repeated dumbly. “What?”

“I know it sounds insane, but  the fact is that the moment both Solas and I deciphered what the voices were saying and understood, the voices were silent. This _has to_ mean something, Cullen.”

Cullen stood up, cursing under his breath and started pacing the length of the room and back. He stood in front of her as she looked up at him and cursed again.

“Maker’s breath, Beatrix, do you honestly believe all this is true? An Elven goddess is supposed to help you defeat Corypheus’s dragon? Truly?”

“Cullen,” Beatrix stood, her hands rapidly clenching and unclenching as she took a deep breath. “You saw the figure, didn’t you? The figure that stood in front of us before we ran through the Eluvian?”

Cullen’s breath hitched. “ _That_ was Mythal?” he asked her, confusion written all over his face.

“No, not Mythal. I’m pointing this out because something else is at work here, and I believe this something else _wants_ me to win. _Wants_ me to kill Corypheus. _Wants_ to help me and the Inquisition. Please don’t tell me you can’t believe this.”

Cullen let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. He quickly took her in his arms, holding her close and wishing for them never to be apart. Then as he slowly pulled back, he gazed into her eyes and realized there was something that hadn’t been said yet. He swallowed thickly, clearing his throat before he spoke.

“If you know that wasn’t Mythal,” he asked, almost fearing her reply. “then who was it?”

“That was someone I met in my safe place, Cullen. Someone who has been helping me for quite some time now.”

Cullen nodded, waiting for her to go on. He could see her struggle to find the words, see her trying to keep calm. When she spoke her words sent shivers up and down his spine.

“That was…the Lady in White.”

…

Beatrix had always loved children. Therefore, when Leliana appeared out of nowhere as she was walking around the garden to tell her that Kieran had somehow activated the Eluvian and walked through it, she was considerably alarmed.

“What?!” she exclaimed as her eyes widened in surprise.

“Morrigan has gone through the mirror trying to bring him back. I’m so glad you’re –“

But Beatrix simply brushed Leliana aside and quickly rushed to the room where the Eluvian was kept.

The thing was pulsating and shimmering blue as she approached. Once she walked through, the whole landscape changed tremendously. All around her, she could see parts of buildings, masses floating up to the sky and crudely cut staircases in the rock, leading nowhere.

She was in the fucking Fade. How had Kieran managed to get here?

Immediately after realizing where she was, Beatrix heard Morrigan screaming Kieran’s name up ahead. She quickly headed off in that direction finding Morrigan standing in a ruined courtyard, looking desperately for the boy.

“Inquisitor!” Morrigan cried out, spinning around to face her. “Kieran came here. I do not understand! To channel the Eluvian into the Fade must have taken great power! Please, help me find my son, Inquisitor!”

Alistair had called Morrigan a bitch while he was in Skyhold. He told Beatrix how Morrigan had fooled everyone, only to get what she wanted. Morrigan, in fact, was indeed cold and determined and Beatrix knew she would get whatever it was she wanted, excluding clumsy accidents and falls into wells. But at this moment there was nothing ulterior, power-driven or calculating in the witch at all. Morrigan was just being a mother. And a damned good one too, Beatrix realized.

“Calm down, Morrigan,” Beatrix said in a low voice.

“Calm down?” the dark-haired witch replied. “We’re in the Fade! He could be anywhere! KIERAN!”

“We’ll find him, Morrigan. I’m here to help,” Beatrix replied in the most soothing voice she could muster. Morrigan nodded, looking a bit relieved and followed Beatrix down the path that led deeper into the Fade.

Presently they saw something in the distance. First it looked like a bright light and then, both Morrigan and Beatrix stopped in their tracks when they got closer.

“Kieran!” Morrigan shouted, gasping as she got a better look at the white-haired woman kneeling before her son.

“What is it, Morrigan?” Beatrix asked. “Do you know that woman?”

They walked forward until they were so close, Kieran called out to his mother and went to embrace her. Morrigan fell to her knees and held her boy close.

“I’m sorry, Mother!” Kieran said in a voice full of anguish. “But I heard her calling. She said it was time!”

“Mother,” Morrigan practically snarled at the woman who stood before them with an enigmatic smile on her face.

Beatrix looked upon the whole reunion with surprise. Of all the things she had to do today, she’d never expected to meet Morrigan’s mother in the Fade. Soon, however, she had much more on her mind. Morrigan started to shout at the white-haired woman, who called herself Flemeth, and tried to attack her. 

At that moment, Flemeth’s yellow gaze held her own, and Beatrix’s eyes widened a touch. She suddenly _had to_ protect her at all costs. Hurling herself at Morrigan, she stopped the dark-haired witch from casting a nasty spell on Flemeth, then stood looking at her hands in awe as Morrigan turned to stare at Beatrix, a confused look on her face.

“What are you _doing_ Inquisitor?” Morrigan demanded. “This woman is trying to take Kieran away from me! I’m defending myself and Kieran and you dare attack me? Why?”

“I don’t know why!” Beatrix cried out, her eyes frantically searching Morrigan’s for a few moments before looking back at Flemeth, who let out a peal of laughter.

“Such amusing guests,” the white-haired witch said, still chuckling.

“Flemeth seeks to possess my son, Inquisitor! She has extended her life like this through the years. I ran from her when she tried to do the same to me!” Morrigan cried out, facing her mother once again. “Take me if you wish; possess my body now if it pleases you, but leave my son alone!”

“I don’t understand,” Beatrix said, looking confused. “Why wait over ten years to come for your son, Morrigan?”

“Because she kept him well hidden, until recently,”Flemeth chuckled as she fixed her eyes on Beatrix.

Beatrix frowned. Those yellow eyes, where had she seen them before? Morrigan had them, of course, but she had seen them somewhere else.

“You’re Mythal!” Morrigan gasped.

Mythal? Beatrix walked a step forward without even realizing it. She was suddenly captured in that yellow gaze, unable to tear herself away from it.

“Mythal, Flemeth, I’ve answered to other names as well,” Flemeth said with her enigmatic smile, her gaze finally falling on Beatrix.

“Ah, the Inquisitor. Harbinger of a New Age. Or so they say,” Flemeth cackled. “I wonder, do you really know what part you play in all this?”

Beatrix instead, chose to make another comment, one that the white-haired witch did not take so lightly.

“He is only a boy, you cannot take him away from his mother!”

Morrigan stepped forward, still keeping her eyes on both her mother and her child. “I beg of you, please let him go.”

“I have a proposition to make girl,” Flemeth replied. “Let the lad come with me and you will finally be free, or choose to keep him and I will never let you go. What say you, hmmm?”

“I told you, mother! I will not let you take him! I may be many things, but I will not be the mother you were to me!” the dark-haired witch lashed out.

A sad expression instantly appeared on Flemeth’s face. She turned to look at Kieran who smiled up to her, then clasped both his hands in hers. They looked at each other in silence, and then a bright light passed from the boy to Flemeth. Flemeth continued to smile at her grandson and he looked up happily at her.

“No more dreams?” the little boy asked.

“No more dreams,” Flemeth replied. “Go to your mother.”

Kieran ran to his mother’s side happily, and Morrigan embraced him tightly, letting him go to face her mother again.

“I do not understand,” Morrigan said.

“A soul is not forced upon the unwilling, Morrigan. You were never in any danger from me,” Flemeth said, then turned her yellow gaze upon Beatrix. “You will prevail, of course, but will be faced with more trials and tribulations than you think possible before the end. He will suffer for the both of you.”

“He?” Beatrix echoed, fear gripping her heart.

“Go to the place I have marked on your map in the room where you all meet. You will find a dragon in this place. Morrigan’s eluvian should lead you right to it. Battle him and subdue him, and he will come to you when you call him. Listen to the voices. They will never lie to you as men do.”

“Mother!” Morrigan called after her. But the white-haired witch turned and walked away, disappearing into a hidden Eluvian behind a broken wall moments later.

Beatrix frowned as she watched the witch disappear. Fear still gripped her heart, and try as she might, she could not shake it away.

“I think it is time to return, Inquisitor,” Morrigan commented, taking Kieran’s hand in hers. “Let us go back before this place swallows us whole.”

…

Cullen woke up to the darkness and cold in the room. Shivering, he turned to face Beatrix, who was tossing and turning in her sleep. She had been quiet during dinner and he could tell there was something on her mind, but other than reveal that she had helped Morrigan and Kieran, she had chosen not to elaborate on the subject. He didn’t press her about the details and she didn’t give them freely. They had made love and she had fallen asleep in his arms. Sleep had followed him minutes later.

Shivering a little, he stood up and went to the fireplace to start another fire. A glance to the bed revealed that she was still asleep, so he stood for a few moments in front of the fire, lost in his thoughts. He did not hear her stir nor walk to him, and was surprised when she put her arms around him, placing a kiss in between his shoulder blades first.

Cullen turned after a few moments, taking her in his arms. He rocked her gently, and then she leaned back, enough to look deeply into his eyes.

“What is it, love?” He asked.

“Cullen, I met Flemeth, when I was with Morrigan. She claims she is Mythal,” she said in a low voice.

He didn’t speak for a few moments. Of all the things he could have imagined, this was certainly not it.

“Flemeth…is Mythal?” he echoed.

“Yes. She showed me where to go to get a dragon. This dragon will help me defeat Corypheus’s dragon when the time comes.”

Cullen’s sharp intake of breath heralded what was to come. He quickly disentangled himself from her arms and took her hand, leading her back to the bed where they sat.

“Beatrix,” he began, trying to muster the patience he felt was slipping away. “Flemeth is a legend. I guess she could be anything she wants, but that’s not the point here. You actually believe she is Mythal?”

She nodded up at him. “I went into the war table room afterwards. There was a token on a spot, it wasn’t there before. It’s an area in the Arbor Wilds. It makes sense there should be a dragon there, as the temple itself is in the Arbor Wilds. I have to battle the dragon there and subdue it. It will come and help me when I summon it. I won’t have to travel to get there either. Flemeth told me that the eluvian Morrigan has will take me to the dragon.”

“Beatrix! This is – “

“Insane, I know. I also know what I’m talking about, Cullen. All this is true, whether you believe it or not. I didn’t want to tell you, to worry you, but I have to, my love.”

Cullen tilted his head to the right, watching her closely. There was something she was leaving out, he was sure of it.

“There’s something you aren’t telling me, love. What is it?” he asked, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible.

“Flemeth, she said something to me,” Beatrix sighed, realizing she couldn’t keep avoiding the subject. “Something that I fear greatly. I think she talked about what was going to happen, Cullen and I’m scared!”

He took her in his arms again, and rocked her gently, whispering words of love to her, comforting her as best as he could. After a while, she slowly leaned back, searching for something in his eyes. She seemed to have found it, because she spoke and what she said stunned him into silence.

“She told me I would be faced with more trials and tribulations before the end. She also said something that I haven’t been able to get out of my head, my love. She said, ‘he will suffer for the both of you’.”

The tears she had been holding back now fell, and Cullen once again took her in his arms, his heart breaking. If this was true, it was something that chilled him to the bone. Clearly Flemeth was talking about Beatrix dying. But he couldn’t allow that to happen. He would be right there, fighting Corypheus if necessary. He would NOT let her go! He would stop it before it was too late.

“I won’t let it happen, my love,” he crooned. “You will be safe with me by your side. I won’t allow it.”

“Solas told me Corypheus cannot attack Skyhold because of the ancient elven magic protecting it. If he attacks, it will be somewhere else.

“Then we shall both face him somewhere else. I won’t let you go without me, Beatrix. This is _NOT_ up for discussion. You’ll have to kill me to get me to stay.”

“But the soldiers?”

“The soldiers have others who would command them here. I will take more to command wherever we face him. But I’ll go with them and with you. This I swear,” Cullen said fiercely, holding her tightly for a few moments, then letting her go to look deeply into her eyes. “I will see you reach Corypheus and shield you from harm while we battle him.”

Beatrix said nothing to this but kissed him passionately, which Cullen returned tenfold. They made love to each other roughly afterwards each with the same intensity. When they climaxed they did so together, falling into each other’s arms when they were spent.

She fell asleep almost immediately, but Cullen lay awake, thinking about what she had said. Be it Flemeth, Andraste or the Maker, he would not let Beatrix go.

And if she fell into the Fade again, he would go with her this time.

Even if it meant he would have to end his own life to do it.

…


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cory gets his comeuppance and the Lady in White’s identity is revealed at last!
> 
> Don’t worry, this fic is still being written. I’m having a friend come visit all this coming week, so might not get a chance to write a lot, but will write as much as possible. Next chapter is some of the years in between. Fic ends with Trespasser DLC ending. Ahem, my ending to it anyway!
> 
> Many thanks once again to my angelic beta Lady Darksbane. She is the reason this fic was posted! Also many thanks to those who are following this fic, especially to my Fanfiction Writers’ friends in the group on Facebook! You guys ROCK!
> 
> Love reading your comments! Please feel free to say what you think! :D

…

The following day, Beatrix got together a team to go to the dragon. Cullen was in it, of course. He wouldn’t let Beatrix go there without him, even though she was protected in a way, with three of her inner circle accompanying her.

Morrigan stood in the room where the eluvian was kept, waiting for them. She was to activate the mirror to allow them passage to the area where they would battle the dragon.

“Inquisitor, I wish to thank you again for helping me with Kieran,” the dark-haired witch said sincerely as Beatrix stood beside her. “I confess I can breathe more easily, knowing I am away from mother’s influence at last. Should you fail in your quest to subdue the dragon, I can shapeshift into one and I offer you my services.”

“Thank you, Morrigan,” Beatrix replied with a smile. “We’ll see what happens. Stay close, please.”

“I shall, Inquisitor,” Morrigan replied with a brief nod. She then turned to the mirror and activated it. “It is done.”

Beatrix gave Morrigan a bright smile and stepped through the mirror, with her four companions close behind.

They all breathed a sigh of relief as they were standing at the entrance to a very green grove that had an altar at the very end. The trees all around it formed a natural wall, separating it from the rest of the Arbor Wilds. Beatrix walked up to the altar, noticing a statue of a human draconic figure, wings outstretched. Behind her Cullen, the Iron Bull, Dorian and Cassandra stood in silence waiting for her to speak.

“Well,” she said. “this is the place. Mythal!” Beatrix called, lifting her face to look up the sky. “I’m here! Send your dragon!”

A short while later, they heard the flapping of great wings and a dragon landed in the grove with a mighty roar. Dorian hurriedly placed a shield over everyone and the fight began.

“Remember, we can’t kill it!” Beatrix shouted. “Just beat it around a bit!”

“Splendid!” Dorian quipped from where he stood, drinking down a fire resistance potion. “Always wanted to be surrounded by flames!”

“I can make you shoot out flames if you want,” Bull purred at Dorian, chugging down his fire resistance potion.

“Ugh, will you two _please_ focus! There is a _DRAGON_ here!” Cassandra cried as she bashed her shield into the huge dragon’s left leg, which Beatrix was already stabbing. Cullen said nothing, but pursed his lips, moving out of the way just in time as the beast swiped its great tail at him. With a determined look, the Commander charged forward, into the dragon’s left forepaw, the rest following his lead.

A few moments later, Cassandra managed to hurt the dragon and it limped away, its eyes fixed on the group and roaring. Beatrix suddenly knew it was time for her to try to communicate with it. Turning to her team, she told them to stay put and Cullen protested.

“Cullen, I know what I’m doing! I know it will listen now, please!” Beatrix said, her voice laced with anguish as she begged him to stand back. Cullen complied, shaking his head, but he did not sheathe his weapon.

Slowly, Beatrix walked up to the dragon. It roared again once and flicked its tail, but as Beatrix got closer, it stood still. She walked straight up to the beast then, and it put down its mighty head. Cullen cursed and tried to walk forward, but Bull pulled him back, gesturing at him to look at the scene before him. Cullen turned accordingly and his jaw dropped.

Beatrix was actually petting the dragon’s head. The dragon seemed to be having a good time also. She made her way to the dragon’s wound and opened an elfroot potion, pouring it over the dragon’s foot. The wound started to heal immediately and the dragon craned its neck for Beatrix to keep petting it. All at once a blue light shone from Beatrix’s eyes to the dragon’s face and eyes. It stayed there for a few moments and then vanished. The dragon stood, no longer limping, and Beatrix moved out of the way. All of them watched it flap its wings and take off, flying low and disappearing into the distance with a roar – almost like saying goodbye.

“Maker’s Breath!” Cullen said, able to finally speak at last.

“Do you think it will recognize you? How does this work exactly?” Dorian asked.

“She will come once only. When summoned,” Beatrix told them in a low voice, but loud enough so all could hear her. Then she shook her head. “I hope she doesn’t die. What a magnificent beast!”

…

Two days later, they all assembled at the war room as there were things that Leliana and Josephine had to report. After having gone through at least a dozen reports and coming up with solutions for them, Beatrix leaned forward, her hands on the heavy table before her.

“Have we gotten any missives from our scouts to pinpoint the direction Corypheus was heading towards?” Beatrix asked as she looked down at the great map carved into the table.

“No, Inquisitor,” Leliana replied. “I haven’t received word yet.”

“Neither have I,” Josephine added.

“I’ve received a missive from our soldiers. One of them saw Corypheus and his dragon heading north, but that was two days ago, when we arrived at Skyhold. I don’t really know where he is right now,” Cullen said with a frown.

At that very moment, there was a sound in the distance which sounded like an explosion that startled them all. Beatrix’s anchor started to crackle and make popping noises, emitting a bright green light. Everyone and every single thing in the room was immediately bathed in green. She looked up towards the window and saw the breach was open again, stones revolving at the center.

“He’s opened the Breach again,” Varric said in a loud voice. “And he’s close.”

“Yes,” Beatrix replied. “He’s in Haven.”

“The Breach must be closed before it fills Thedas with demons again,” Morrigan commented.

“Inquisitor! We have no army to send with you. They haven’t returned from the Wilds yet!” Cullen exclaimed.

“That’s exactly why Corypheus did this, I imagine,” Beatrix shrugged her shoulders and turned to look at her Inner Circle. “We must march to Haven at once. Who’s with me?”

They all raised a hand and almost at the same time.

“We’ll die protecting you, Inquisitor!” Cassandra exclaimed with a nod, her eyes bright and fierce in the green light of the room.

“I’m putting an arrow in that shitebag! Right in the danglebags!” Sera cried out angrily.

“I will not let you go there if I do not go with you,” Cullen added. “Barris is leading our soldiers out of the Arbor Wilds. If he arrives here while we are at Haven, he can continue to do so. I just need to leave a parchment of written instructions for him, Inquisitor.”

Beatrix nodded at this.

“Get ready, everyone! Meet you all at the stables in an hour,” she said.

Everyone filed out of the room except for Cullen, who was scribbling something on a piece of parchment. He looked up as he finished, fixing his golden eyes on Beatrix.

“I’m ready, my love,” Cullen nearly whispered. “I just have to take this note to one of my aides. I need to pray in the chapel as well.”

“I’ll go with you and pray also,” she said, her eyes holding his. But Cullen’s dropped and he sighed deeply.

“What is it, my love?” Beatrix asked, looking at him with a worried expression on her face.

“Once again you face him, once again I’m sending you to him. I –“ but Cullen stopped, his heart breaking. Beatrix was crying and did not show signs of stopping. He opened his arms to her and she went to them quickly.

“Cullen, what if I don’t survive?”

He leaned back to look at her, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. “Then I will surely die afterwards,” he said in a whisper. “I can’t live without you, my love. Maker help me, I simply can’t…”

They embraced each other tightly, aware that this fight could be their last. After sharing a kiss, they left the war table room and headed towards the chapel to pray, Cullen holding her hand firmly in his.

_They will not take you! Not while I draw breath!_

…

The ride to Haven would not take long, as there had already been a path secured through the mountains, which would keep them away from all the snowstorms that regularly plagued the area. Therefore, they only traveled for a day and reached the Temple by sunset. Cullen stayed close to Beatrix the entire time, but they didn’t have any time to be alone with each other. Nevertheless, as they were dismounting, he caught her in his arms and gave her a passionate kiss, full of love and longing.

“We will succeed,” he whispered, letting her go with one of his lopsided smiles. She smiled back and at that moment they heard shouts indicating that the fighting had begun. They rushed to see soldiers fighting through demons that had already attacked and killed several.

Cassandra rushed towards one of the demons and killed it on the spot. Dorian quickly had shields on all of them, while Vivienne quickly unsheathed her spirit blade. Cullen quickly unsheathed his sword and ran towards Corypheus, following Beatrix closely. She stopped in front of the Ancient Tevinter Magister, her eyes angry as she fixed her gaze upon him.

“I knew you would come,” Corypheus commented, giving her a mocking bow.

“Yes, because you know everything, you fucking idiot!” Beatrix hissed. Cullen looked at her in alarm, then quickly back at the creature standing not far from them. “It ends here, Corypheus!”

“What a foul mouth you have, Inquisitor,” Corypheus responded with a grimace. “It shall indeed end here and now!”

Very quickly he raised his hands, the red orb hovering above him. In an instant, the whole ruin of the Temple of Sacred Ashes rose from the ground, leaving behind some of Beatrix’s Inner Circle and all of the scouts and remaining soldiers they had brought with them. Once they were suspended high above, all movement stopped. Corypheus stepped forward, looking at Beatrix with pure hatred in his eyes.

“You have been most successful in foiling my plans. But let us not forget what you are: A thief, in the wrong place at the wrong time. An interloper. A gnat. We shall prove here which of us is worthy of Godhood!”

“I’m Andraste’s Chosen!” Beatrix screamed at him. “And you _still_ talk too much you arrogant bastard!”

Corypheus let out a yell of outrage and started to attack. Pure red lyrium poured forth in a deadly beam and they ran for cover, while red lyrium nodes appeared from the very rocky ground they stood on. Beatrix disappeared in a puff of dark smoke and Cullen cursed as he advanced on the monster with Cassandra. Both Vivienne and Dorian focused on the deadliest spells and flung them at Corypheus.

Beatrix reappeared right behind the creature and stabbed, but Corypheus had already glided away in a speed that far outmatched her. Growling, she disappeared into stealth again, while both Cassandra and Cullen hacked at the demons that had appeared to join the fray. Beatrix reappeared at Cullen’s side, stabbing at an enraged shade and quickly flittered away from view just as Corypheus raised his hands and red lyrium burst forth from the rocky ground.  

“You dare use an avatar of divinity?” Corypheus growled, looking around for the rogue. Cullen rushed forward and used his shield to bash the Ancient Tevinter Magister who immediately teleported to a different area, directly in front of Beatrix who had reappeared. Cullen cursed and hurried to defend her from harm, bringing out his shield to protect them from the Red Lyrium assault.

He needn’t have bothered. Both Dorian and Vivienne were keeping magical arcane shields on them continuously as they fought the monster, and they certainly were saving their lives from the red lyrium beams Corypheus flung at them. They just had to keep moving and attacking Corypheus since the red lyrium bursting from the rocky ground was the only thing that was deadly at the moment.

Beatrix disappeared again as both Cassandra and Cullen attacked Corypheus. At that same moment, however, Corypheus summoned his Red Lyrium dragon and Beatrix had to focus on the dragon she had tamed at the Shrine to Mythal. 

Just as the great dragon was about to pounce on them all, another dragon attacked it and they flew off fighting. It was Mythal’s dragon, ready to defend and destroy. Beatrix let a smile linger on her face and the whole team moved forward, this time going up a flight of stairs to meet the corrupted Ancient Magister.

The fighting was intense, but it wasn’t until Vivienne wielded her spirit blade that they felt they had the upper hand. The blade damaged Corypheus so much that he yelled out, teleporting to a wholly different area. They ran towards the monster, while Corypheus continued to scream out in rage.

“I will NOT stand for this outrage!” the Magister bellowed at Beatrix, flicking his wrists to send off a powerful red lyrium attack. They ran out of range and circled him, Vivienne attacking him from behind.

He screamed out in pain and disappeared from view. At that moment, the two battling dragons flew right over them and they watched as the dragons once again came together in a deadly embrace, one clawing and biting at the other. In a few minutes, Mythal’s dragon plummeted to the rocky surface, and lay there, still and silent, while Corypheus’ dragon circled them once before landing in the area in front of the team.

“Is Mythal’s dragon alive, my dear?” Vivienne asked as she sliced the air with her spirit blade, readying herself to attack the dragon that looked upon them malevolently, roaring loudly.

“I can’t check now, dragon here!” Beatrix said as she disappeared into stealth. Both Cullen and Cassandra attacked the great beast, but it was Vivienne’s blizzard spell that caused the dragon to stand still. Another spell from Dorian encased it in thin ice, and both Cullen and Vivienne attacked in unison, while Beatrix sidestepped neatly to the other side and repeatedly stabbed it while Cassandra bashed it with her shield and used her blade near the dragon’s unprotected underbelly.

Presently Cullen dealt a killing blow and the dragon roared as it fell, leaving Corypheus vulnerable. With renewed energy they rushed up another set of stairs, this time leading to the tower area and faced the Ancient Magister, battling for their lives.

“He’s trying to cause the Breach to widen! We must stop him!” Dorian yelled, attacking from a distance.

“Over my dead body!” yelled Beatrix who had sneaked behind him. Cullen rushed forward madly, his senses warning him of danger even before he saw Corypheus grab Beatrix by the arm.

“You dare!” the Ancient Magister roared. “Let it end here! Let the skies boil! Let the world be rent asunder!” At that moment Cullen bashed his shield at the Magister and it dropped Beatrix to the ground, who quickly got up again and assaulted him from behind. “How would you like to watch your Commander lover die, Inquisitor?” Corypheus laughed, seizing Cullen and pulling the Commander to his chest.

“NO!” Beatrix yelled as she tried to rush over, but Vivienne was already there, thrusting her spirit blade deeply into the monster’s side.

Corypheus fell on his knees, just as Beatrix called the orb to her using her mark. She took it into her hands while Corypheus roared in pain.

“Dumat! Ancient ones!  I beseech you! If you exist – if you ever truly existed – aid me now!”

But the orb remained with Beatrix and she flung it high into the sky. The orb few directly to the Breach, sealing it instantaneously, then dropped down to where she stood, her mark emitting a bright green light as she walked towards the kneeling Ancient Tevinter Magister.

“You wanted to get into the Fade?” she shouted angrily. “Well, then! Here’s your wish come true!”

The anchor immediately let out a beam and Corypheus screamed out as a rift began to form inside him. In mere seconds he imploded, disappearing from Thedas forever.

Cullen rushed to her side, only to see the whole place begin to crumble. In horror, he witnessed everything falling on his love as well as on them as the whole place fell to the ground.

But Beatrix was alive, she opened her eyes and sat up, brushing debris off her, only to get a glimpse of Solas kneeling right before the broken orb.

“Solas,” she called softly, getting up and walking towards him.

“The orb,” the elven mage said in a sad voice.

“I’m so sorry, Solas. I know you wanted the orb saved.”

“This isn’t your fault, Inquisitor,” Solas turned to face her. “You should get that wound tended to, before you bleed out.”

Beatrix shrugged, wincing as she did so. “There’s more isn’t there?”

“It was not supposed to happen this way. No matter what comes, I want you to know you shall always have my respect.”

With those words, Beatrix swayed slightly, a dizziness overpowering her as she heard Cullen shout her name. Then she fainted dead away.

“No!” Cullen screamed as he rushed forward and knelt to take her in his arms. She was bleeding profusely from the side. Vivienne appeared at his side and quickly started to heal her.

“She lives, Commander, but she has lost a lot of blood. I will do my best to heal her.”

Cullen nodded at the powerful mage, keeping the tears that were struggling to appear in check. He swallowed thickly as Vivienne worked to heal Beatrix as much as she could.

“It’s done. I’ll go check on the dragon too. It saved our lives and deserves to be healed if it yet lives,” Vivienne whispered. “We should take her back to Skyhold immediately, Commander.

Cullen nodded once again, as he stood up, carrying Beatrix in his arms.

There was no time to lose.

…

Beatrix looked up at the clear blue sky. Her place. Hers. A sigh of contentment escaped her lips as she walked around, admiring the different green colors that dotted the landscape. She approached the brook that was laughing merrily along its way, smiling as she knelt on its bank, her hands cupping water to drink. It was the best water she had drunk in her life.

Approaching footsteps made her quickly stand and she nodded to the Lady in White who was greeting her with the loveliest of smiles.

“What am I doing here? Am I dead or dreaming?” Beatrix asked immediately.

The Lady in White gave her a bright smile, her yellow eyes lighting up with love. Beatrix frowned until she finally spoke.

“Do you want to be dead?” the Lady asked, a chuckle escaping her lips.

“Not necessarily,” Beatrix shrugged, her eyes narrowing slightly. “But someone told me something and I want to know if it is true.”

The Lady’s smile disappeared. “Ah, yes. My great, great, great, granddaughter. She is good with words, but her prophecies, while true, do not tend to happen when one thinks they shall.”

“ _Flemeth_ is related to _you_?” Beatrix asked, her mouth agape with surprise.

“Yes, Inquisitor,” the Lady replied. “She may or may not know. I’ll soon find out, however. And this is not really the point of our conversation, is it?”

“No, it isn’t,” Beatrix closed her mouth and shook her head. “I’m so confused.”

“Tell me if you wish to live or not. I’m most interested in your reply,” the Lady smiled.

Beatrix looked deeply into her yellow eyes. The same color as Flemeth’s eyes, Morrigan’s as well. This White Lady seemed to be truthful for the moment.

“Do I have a reason to live?” Beatrix queried.

“You discount your love, who is thinking of ending his life if you fail to live at this very moment?” the Lady answered sharply.

“Cullen,” Beatrix replied sadly. “I must go to him.”

“If not for him, do it for the little one, who _deserves_ to be born,” the Lady said, pressing a hand on Beatrix’s belly.

“I am with child?” Beatrix asked, knowing instantaneously that there was indeed a small life growing within. She smiled at the Lady, her eyes wide with emotion and love.

“Oh, yes, little one. Your path is safe and secure. For now,” the Lady in White said, smiling kindly.

“What do you mean _for now_?” Beatrix wanted to know. But the Lady turned to leave.

Before she left however, Beatrix managed to catch her white robe in her hands, pulling slightly. The Lady stopped and turned with a smile.

“You have to live it all. Even what will come to be. But know this, you will get the life you deserve and more. But not in this era. That is all I have to say.”

“Tell me your name!” Beatrix asked, still clinging to the Lady’s robes.

“I thought you knew already,” the Lady smiled. “I am Andraste. And I will always guide you, little one. Go in peace and live what time you have, happily by his side and your child’s. You will always be my chosen.”

Beatrix let go as she took a step back, her eyes open wide with surprise. The Lady in White nodded and smiled, her love for Beatrix apparent as she walked away and disappeared.

And Beatrix sat up in her bed and was immediately caught in an embrace as Cullen laughed out loud, holding her close and wishing her never to leave his side.

“You’re alive!” he whispered over and over, thanking the Maker as well.

“Yes, Cullen! And…I’m also with child!”

Cullen leaned back, his eyes huge amber saucers as he looked at her. In mere seconds he was kissing her passionately, his hands all over her as they kissed, Beatrix moaning into his mouth until he leaned back and looked at her again.

“Are you sure?” he asked. “Are you feeling well? Do you need anything?”

“I’m quite sure, given I was told I was with child by none other than Andraste. I need a healer, only to confirm it. I’m so happy, Cullen!”

“As am I,” Cullen murmured his reply, his lips devouring hers again.

“We’ll be together from now on, my love,” Beatrix said, her eyes alight with happiness.

“As it should be,” Cullen replied. “I’d love to keep on kissing you, but first, the healer.”

“And some water,” Beatrix laughed. “And food!”

“I shall bring everything at once, my Lady,” he said as he rushed to the stairs.

Beatrix heard the door slam shut as she laughed happily, then her eyes moved upwards and she offered thanks to the Maker and Andraste.  

But most of all, she thanked Andraste.

And no matter how long she had left, she would make the most of it. 

…


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m alive! Right after my visitor left, I immediately started writing this chapter. Here’s what happens next, hope you all like it!
> 
> Thanks to Lady Darksbane for her patience and for making the chapter legible enough to read! Huge thanks to the rest of you for your kudos, bookmarks and comments that make my day! :D
> 
> Warning: If there are some of you who haven’t played the Jaws of Hakkon DLC, here there be spoilers!!!

…

Beatrix’s pregnancy was not a perfect one. She hated being told that she needed to rest, and hated that she was getting heavy with child. She tried to keep up with her dagger training all throughout. At least she thought she could. But when a couple of months had gone by, the size of her swollen belly made her change her thoughts about it all. She realized that she could barely walk, let alone fight. No fighting made her miserable.  

However, she loved the child she was carrying fiercely and spoke to it all the time. Cullen would often arrive after a day of working at his tower or army inspections and would find her chatting away, her hand placed on her swollen belly, the look of tenderness on her face filling him with peace and love. There were times he also found her crooning to the child in her womb, singing lullabies to him.

Those times were the times when he wished time would stand still, to see the scene in front of him every moment and every time of the day for the rest of his life. He would certainly never tire of it and actually looked forward to catching her in those sweet, peaceful moments.

The Inquisition was still very active and there were still some rifts that had to be closed. They actually devised a way to close them that would provide safety for her and her baby. She would travel with her team and stand back, usually sitting in stealth until they had dealt with the demons, then she would direct her anchor to the rift and seal it. It worked very well, and since Cullen accompanied her, she was always kept out of the fight, no matter what. Presently, they had sealed all the rifts that had still been open and breathed a sigh of relief when it was truly over.  
  
Exactly five months after Corypheus was gone, she gave birth to twins, making Cullen and herself the happiest parents in Thedas. During the birthing process Beatrix suddenly discovered that she was in her happy place. She had fainted since the twins had taken all her energy away.

“I knew you would come,” Beatrix said as she turned to face Andraste. “I’m not sure why I’m here?”

“Exhaustion this time, little one,” Andraste smiled. “You will be awake soon after our conversation.”

“A conversation that is more questions than answers,” Beatrix sighed, a frown following after she pursed her lips. “I don’t like it when you don’t answer my questions.”

“If I did, you would not thank me,” Andraste replied. With a shake of her head she sighed. “You have some time still. But the end will come, as surely as the sun shining in the sky.”

“Poetical today, are we?” Beatrix muttered, her eyes flashing angrily for a few moments, before schooling her face back into a calm, detached look. “I don’t want to die.”

“Everyone dies, little one,” Andraste spoke back, her yellow eyes sad as she looked deeply into Beatrix’s. “I wish you were given more time, but know that you shall have a family in the distant future. That much is certain.”

“Why do I even have to exist in this ‘future’? Will I know my purpose? Will I remember all this?”

“Not at first, no,” the Lady replied, her brow furrowing for a while. “I cannot say more.”

“Would it kill you to tell me? I need some answers!” Beatrix’s voice rose. “Why am I your chosen? Why do I come back to Thedas in the future? Am I needed there? Will I really remember all this? What about Cullen? I don’t want him to hurt himself! He can’t die after I’m gone…”

“Have faith, child, you and the man you love will see this through. The twins will grow to become great warriors. You should be proud.” With these words Andraste disappeared right before her very eyes, and Beatrix found herself sitting up in bed, with more questions than answers.  
  
…

Beatrix breastfed the twins for six months. Once the twins started having food along with their milk, they grew even faster, and the feeding times became a war zone with food being spit out, or flying across the room. Cullen enjoyed every moment of it, even though he and Beatrix had to clean a lot of the mess they made.  
  
Soon, however, Cullen barely went through his daily routine with his army. He decided to delegate much of his work to Barris, which meant more time with Beatrix and the babies.

“How’s my lovely mother today?” Cullen would ask every day he came home to their quarters.  

“Doing better than you, dear father and love of my life,” Beatrix always replied with a chuckle. Cullen would steal a kiss from her that left her breathless. He enjoyed watching the soon-to-be toddlers eating, marveling at the thought that these little ones were perfect in every way.

Even when they cried. 

Still, Cullen would not change places with any man in Thedas, which gave an indication of how much he loved her and the twins.  
  
When the twins were a little over a year old, a meeting at the war table room was called. Beatrix hurried to hand the twins over to Dorian, who was more than overjoyed to take care of them.  They left their quarters waving at them and the Tevinter mage, while the twins decided to crawl or stand and take a few steps around their ‘uncle’ with big smiles on their faces. 

Beatrix and Cullen arrived at the meeting slightly out of breath. Leliana and Josephine smiled at them, while Beatrix returned their greetings with a big hug.  

“I’m afraid the news we have for you isn’t as happy as you two appear to be,” Josephine said with a guilty frown.

“Oh?” Beatrix asked, one of her brows raising in confusion. Leliana shook her head, but still wore a smile on her face, while Josephine sighed. “Shit! Don’t tell me there’s more fighting coming up!”

“We don’t know, Inquisitor, but there may be some fighting up ahead for you,” Josephine began.

“Josie!” Leliana interrupted. “Stop sugar-coating things. You know the Inquisitor doesn’t like it.”

“Neither does the Inquisitor’s partner for life,” Cullen reminded them, his hand clutching the pommel of his sword tightly. “What is it? Do _not_ leave any details out, please.”

Beatrix just frowned, her eyes looking at the table, noticing a brand new marker put on an area in the map that she was not familiar with.

“Frostback Basin?” she asked with a frown. “Are we fighting in such a desolate area?”

“We have received word from one of our ‘agents’ stationed there,” Leliana began, but Josie looked straight at her and shook her head. Leliana closed her mouth accordingly and let Josephine do all the talking.

“We sent a professor from the University of Orlais to the Frostback Basin a while ago. He told me in a missive that he believed the last Inquisitor might be buried there. As you all know, our Inquisitor is not the first, and it behooves us to act on this.”

“Behooves?” Cullen repeated with a scowl. “Just how does _this_ help the Inquisition exactly?

“Commander!” Josephine exclaimed, her eyes as big as saucers. “You know very well that we are still under scrutiny. In fact, there is more scrutiny than there was before. The fact that the Inquisition may somehow reveal what happened historically to the Inquisitor may help us cement ties with Orlais. It could also relieve the stress between Ferelden and the Inquisition.”

“There’s bad blood between Ferelden and the Inquisition?” Cullen asked incredulously. “I can’t believe that! We saved both Orlais _and_ Ferelden!”

“Ferelden may need a reminder of that,” Leliana smiled. “Even so, I suggest we focus on that when it becomes an issue. Right now, it’s rumors at best. Nothing concrete.”

“Inquisitor Ameridan and what happened to him is somewhat of a legend, is it not?” Beatrix asked her gaze on all three advisors. “He disappeared eight hundred years ago. I suggest we look into this.”

“Of course you do,” Cullen sighed. “What about the twins? I won’t let you go without me. Are you thinking of leaving our children behind?”

“Of course not! There has to be a main camp settled before we travel. We can take the twins and everything we need there. Have them build some sort of cabin for our stay there. I doubt it will take long to investigate and discover what really happened to Inquisitor Ameridan.”

“Hmmm. It could be made even safer if the main camp were enclosed by a good strong fence to keep predators out,” Cullen added with a smile. “The cabin would lend us some privacy as well. It could include all that we need for our own necessities as well as the twins. I’ll send some of my best soldiers and Master Gatsi to oversee the work. I suggest we wait for it to be completed before actually heading out.”

“Agreed,” Beatrix smiled. “This means I have some training to do. I’m a bit rusty, I’m afraid.”

Both Leliana and Josie grinned at Beatrix’s statement, while Cullen gave a bark of a laugh.

“I’ll be more than happy to ensure your… _training_ …is complete before we leave,” Cullen nearly purred. Josie blushed while Leliana burst out laughing.

Beatrix beamed up at her Commander. She _loved_ this bold side of him.

“I wouldn’t wish it any other way,” she commented in a sultry voice.

…

A whole two months passed before they could set out to the Frostback Basin. It wasn’t far from Skyhold at all, and the trip was uneventful. Beatrix sat in a carriage with Dorian and the twins, the rest of her Inner Circle rode on horseback. Cullen was right next to the carriage on horseback and had arranged for twenty soldiers from his army to travel with them. Leliana and Josephine remained behind.

It took them two days to reach the basin, and only because they had to stop to ensure the twins have baths and regular meals. Beatrix rested while Cullen looked after the children while they camped.

The day they arrived they were immediately struck by the beaches and vegetation growing alongside it. The whole place was extremely jungle-like and lots of flowers and trees all around, which suited Beatrix just fine.

The whole main camp was enclosed, the high wooden fence secure and strong. They passed under the gates and everyone dismounted with Master Gatsi meeting them before they climbed steps to what resembled a hill in the enclosure. Scout Harding met them along the way and filled them in on their present situation. She also introduced the Chantry Scholar, Professor Bram Kenric.

Beatrix and Cullen’s lodgings were a dream come true. They not only boasted working water faucets and a huge stone tub, but also had drains for when they finished their baths or washed up. The system had been designed in its entirety by Gatsi, taking water from the lake by underground pipes. Gatsi himself had also built the small house into the most resilient one there, with stone foundations and everything. Both Cullen and Beatrix had a bedroom with a large bed and the twins’ room was through a door on the right. They turned with wide eyes and both thanked Gatsi at the same time, while the dwarf burst out laughing at their faces and beamed proudly at them.

They hurried to place the twins in the house, with Dorian and Scout Harding to look after them and walked to the cabin next to their home, which was occupied by Kenric.

“Professor Kenric,” Beatrix smiled at him upon entering his cabin with Cullen. “I’d like to know about what you’ve discovered? Scout Harding told me you unearthed several things.”

“Ah, yes, Inquisitor!” Kenric nearly clapped his hands for joy. But then he showed her a dagger and Beatrix, marveling at the craftsmanship took it in her hands and weighed it. It was splendid.

“See there? That is the Emperor’s seal and initial!” Kenric finished off his monologue happily.

“The Emperor of Orlais?” Beatrix eyes widened in wonder. “Are we really talking about Emperor Kordillus Drakon, the first Emperor of Orlais? How do you know?”

“The craftsmanship firstly,” Kenric babbled on. “See the gold inlays carved intricately into the smoothness of the silverite blade? This kind of blade hasn’t been made in a long time, Inquisitor. Also the buckle I found tells me that a battle was fought on the beach a very long time ago, right around the time when Inquisitor Ameridan disappeared.”

“You lost me at 'buckle',” Beatrix laughed. She smiled as Kenric rattled away, explaining his theory about the buckles.

“My assistant Collette will be able to assist you more on the topic. She knows everything I know, and is in the process of discovering even more! There are a lot of old abandoned Tevinter ruins around here. This must have been a great Tevinter outpost back in the day,” Kenric explained. “I can pinpoint the direction where she was heading. If you can, please seek her out.”

“It looks like she’s heading north. Scout Harding mentioned hostile Avvar tribes?”

“Just one of the tribes is hostile, the ones in the north. The ones along the beach have been friendly to us,” Kenric replied. “The ones to the north, well…they attack anything that moves towards them. Miss Harding is correct.”

“She did say they called themselves the ‘Jaws of Hakkon’?” Cullen immediately commented. “I’m sure Scout Harding can fill us in on the matter, love.”

“Yes, there is something else. The evidence so far points to somewhere nearby. The local Avvar talked about an island in the middle of the lake. It is sacred to them. Maybe there was something left by Inquisitor Ameridan there?” Professor Kenric added.

“We’ve much to discover then. Let’s be off, my love. Thank you, Professor,” Beatrix turned to the professor briefly, nodding her head. He dropped to a low bow, which made Beatrix giggle and blush as she left the room followed closely by Cullen.

They stopped to talk to Harding, who told them everything she had discovered in the Basin, then walked towards the Inner Circle tents.

“We need to talk to the friendly Avvar. Maybe they can give us more information on the hostile group in the north?” Beatrix mused.

“Maybe,” Cullen replied as he put an arm around her shoulders and quickly kissed her temple. “I’ll go check the soldiers and arrange for a training schedule here.”

“I’ll meet you there right after I talk to our group,” Beatrix promised.

…

They spent the night in the main camp. The twins had fallen asleep around sunset and both Cullen and Beatrix headed over to the tents where their companions were, leaving a couple of soldiers to watch over the children. They had their meal with their team and Harding approached them to warn them about some of the dangers in the basin. Apparently, scouts had seen rifts from a distance and reported this to Harding.   

“Not only are the wildlife creatures a danger here, but the rifts as well, Inquisitor. I think the local Avvar have always avoided them. How else would they still be alive?”

“If I had known about this area a while back, I could have come here to close them all,” Beatrix frowned.

“You’re here now, Your Worship,” Scout Harding smiled. “A hero in her own right.”

Beatrix blushed, thankful for the darkness and wondering if her blush could be seen even in the dim firelight.

“Pfft!” Beatrix exclaimed, causing Harding to laugh at the noise she made. “I’m _not_ a religious symbol.”

“I beg to disagree,” Cullen said as he took her in her arms, pulling her close against his chest.

Beatrix’s blush grew, but she said nothing else. A short while after, they said their goodnights and went back to their cabin.

Cullen and Beatrix made love and fell asleep in each other’s arms, content and happy for the time being.

The following morning they all met at the cabin. Cullen tried to be on the team that Beatrix was taking, but he had to look after the twins and train the soldiers.

“Promise me you won’t play the hero and go and do something foolish,” the Commander nearly begged.

“Don’t worry, my love, I’ll be very careful!” Beatrix replied happily as she kissed him goodbye. She paused for a moment and leaned down to kiss little Andreas and Eleanora, then turned to leave without looking back.

Cullen’s face was sad for a split second, but he suddenly leaned down to grab the children, one in each arm. Throwing them on their huge bed, he started to tickle them, his laughter and the children’s screams and laughter following Beatrix all the way to the gates.

Bull and Dorian followed Beatrix quietly, but Sera was very vocal about the wildlife and colorful as well. She freaked out over mosquitoes that landed hungrily on her arms and bit her, leaving angry red blotches. Beatrix, in the meantime, spent most of the time looking for hidden crystals. Amidst Sera’s cursing, Beatrix reminded herself that as inhospitable as the area was, it was once the home of Tevinter citizens, who probably hid the crystals which very likely opened a secret door somewhere.

After putting four of the crystals in her backpack, Beatrix turned a worried expression to the left of where she was. Unsurprisingly, she had spotted one of the rifts which was close to where the main camp was. They quickly marched towards it and the rift popped to life, spewing out pride and despair demons.

Beatrix didn’t know if it was the length of time this rift had been left alone, with no one approaching it, or if something else could have affected the demons that attacked them, but the truth was that they were far deadlier and more cunning – stronger even – than the ones she had battled before. Therefore, the task of killing all the demons in order to close the rift safely escalated alarmingly and became a matter of life and death very quickly.

Soon, she wished they had brought Vivienne instead of Dorian. She loved him fiercely, but healing was not his expertise. However, he fought and healed them as much as he could, the rest of the times they took turns chugging down a healing potion and ground their teeth, unable to leave the fray at all.

Fighting had never been so hard.  

Ten minutes later, they killed the last Despair demon and Beatrix sealed the rift as quickly as she could. To her surprise the whole area was covered in fade-touched leathers and minerals as well as brightly lit rocks they didn’t know about at the time, but discovered later they were also veiled-touched. They also managed to get a couple of awesome weapons and lots of gold, which Beatrix split amongst them.

“We need to stop somewhere to replenish, Boss,” the Iron Bull said in an exhausted voice. “We’ve drunk all the potions and need more. That can’t have been the only rift in this damned place.”

“Alright, let’s replenish at the main camp and head out again. I don’t want to wander around this area at night, so we’d better move quickly,” Beatrix agreed.

They did as they planned and this time Beatrix was quick to call Vivienne from her tent asking her to please help them out. The mage nodded, stood regally and grabbed her staff before she headed out, following Beatrix and the rest of the team. They also left the loot they had found after closing the rift in one of the tents and the crystals Beatrix had collected.

They walked directly to the body of water Beatrix had seen from atop the trees while searching for her crystals. It wasn’t the ocean that the beach flanked, it was a huge lake. They soon discovered bogfishers and gurguts battling for territory amidst the shallows.

Upon noticing Beatrix and her team, the creatures attacked them. It was a good half an hour later before they rid themselves of two bogfishers and five gurguts. Beatrix’s anger flared up and she started to curse.

“Maker forsaken place! Fucking animals wanting to eat us! Demons that _THINK_ and _PLAN_ their attacks coming from rifts! What the FUCK is _wrong_ here?” Beatrix screamed, walking out of the carnage drenched in blood. “Fuck! Who’s going to get all this blood out? NOT ME!”

She fumed past the rest, heading in the direction of a cabin near the lake, not very far away. Another rift stood nearby gleaming a soft green in the sunlight, looking perfectly innocent.

“Fuck! Another rift! Kill me now!” Beatrix yelled pinching the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. “Can our day get any better?”

Bull broke into a hearty peal of laughter and Dorian tittered right next to him.

“Inquisitor, you should watch your language, dear. The locals might mistake you for someone else,” Vivienne cautioned.

Beatrix glared at the mage, then turned and advanced upon the rift.

And that’s when all hell broke loose.

Literally.

…

Beatrix and her group finally made it to the cabin near the lake. She knew, according to Kenric and Harding, that there was an entire clan of friendly Avvar around. She also had to get to an island in the middle of the lake in order to discover more clues about Ameridan’s final resting place. By the time she did manage to speak to the owner of the cabin, however, she had closed three rifts, killed even more gurguts and one more bogfisher. Needless to say she was feeling extremely angry. The last thing she expected to find was a pair of three hostile Avvar trying to bully the owner of the cabin into giving them some food and water.

Beatrix hated bullies. 

She screamed obscenities at the hostile Avvar who called themselves the Jaws of Hakkon and then let them have it. They were dead long before the mages could even put up an arcane shield to protect her.

Her mark was crackling, emitting sparks and by the looks of it, giving her some discomfort because she started to wave her left hand about, holding it tightly with her right hand. The friendly Avvar man, who was the owner of the cabin, stood in front of her, gazing at her quite calmly with a curious expression on his face. He had clearly never seen anyone like Beatrix before.

“Hello,” she said quite amicably, struggling to keep her temper in check. “I find myself in need of a boat. I need to get to the island in the middle of the lake.”

“Ay,” came the man’s answer. “The Island of the Lady. No one dares go there. Too many spirits about.”

“I see. Well, I’m not afraid of spirits, I can control them with this,” she said, lifting her pulsating left hand for him to see. “I really need to get to that island.”

“What if I lend ya a boat and ya die there? More lowlanders will come to seek retribution for yer death. I’ll not give ya anything,” the man stubbornly replied. “If ye need to, then visit our Thane, Thane Sun-Hair. If she gives her blessing, then ya may have the boat.”

Beatrix gave a deep sigh. There was no way she could convince this man to do her the favor of lending her a boat. She could see he had an extremely stubborn streak and that he was not intimidated one bit by her. Or her mark.

She turned around, acknowledging defeat and marched, her team following closely behind.

Everyone was quiet as they made their way up a hill and crossed a bridge that led directly to the ‘Stone-Bear Hold, the clan of friendly Avvar. They were respectful and nodded to her at least. Beatrix herself was fascinated by the houses and the way they lived. As they approached, they could see a group of people gathered in a semi-circle shouting at something. It was clear there was some kind of competition going on.

They stood nearby silently, next to a raised wooden dais where two persons stood: a woman dressed in an Avvar leather coat lined with fur and a man with a goat helmet on his head, the horns curling out and up menacingly. The whole crowd seemed to be cheering at two men climbing a sheer cliff within the hold. Upon taking a better look, Beatrix noticed handholds along the block of solid rock, difficult to spot unless one was specifically looking for them. One of the men beat the other one and got to the top first and the whole crowd cheered at the victor.

The woman standing on the wooden dais proclaimed the winner and immediately turned to look at her with a kind smile and eyes nodding to her in acknowledgment.

“Welcome, guests! I am Thane Svarah Sun-Hair. Come! Follow me to my home where we can eat and talk.”

…


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Sorry for the delay, my friends. Had a bit of writer’s block along with stressful moments at home! This chapter pretty much wraps up the ‘Jaws of Hakkon’ and makes way for the next one which will all be based on the Trespasser DLC. There isn’t much left for this fic to end, and I’m already writing the next one, which is the main fic of this series. 
> 
> I want to thank the lovely Lady Darksbane for her help with this chapter. I’ve never been able to write good smut, so she very kindly gave me a hand and wrote it in its entirety. I just fit it in at the end of the chapter, and put in some phrases here and there, but she did all the work! Please visit her page and read her fics! She is an extraordinary writer, and you will not regret it, I promise! 
> 
> I also want to thank all of you for your lovely feedback and kudos. Every comment I read means the world to me; it’s like food for my muse. Special thanks to my dear friends from FB and the Fanfiction group there who have followed this crazy fic since the beginning! LOVE YOU GUYS! 
> 
> Fair warning! There is VERY explicit smut in this fic right after the last break. You can skip it if you wish, but please be sure to read the last couple of lines. 
> 
> Here we go! 
> 
> …

 

_What is worse than fighting a dragon? Fighting one with an attitude, of course. Especially if the dragon thinks it’s a god._

 

Beatrix gritted her teeth, her mind on recent events. They had successfully completed tasks for the Avvar in Stone-Bear Hold and rescued their pet, a rather large bear, from the Jaws of Hakkon. They had fought literally hundreds of annoying spiders that were nearly invincible, fade-touched creatures that almost killed them all, and demons so hard to kill that they were moving throughout the basin in groups of six now. The moment before the last rift had been closed had been terrible.

 

Four pride demons at the same time had been a wee bit too much.

 

Beatrix had even gained a new ability, enabling her mark to envelop her and whoever was standing close to her inside a protective shield for a few minutes, giving them an edge to win most of the battles. This was especially helpful for the mages, since they’d stay in one place and were protected instantly from flying projectiles. The Jaws of Hakkon had some pretty good archers.

 

They had also learned that Inquisitor Ameridan had never died. Why that alone surprised Beatrix was a mystery, since she had been through and seen a lot of things that had been even more surprising than that. However, she had just killed one of the toughest enemies she had ever faced, so she was entitled to look surprised when the rock in front of her suddenly turned into a staircase of sorts, enabling Beatrix and the rest of the team to climb upwards and thus face Inquisitor Ameridan, who had been enveloped in a golden glow that extended way past his staff arm and directly into the great jaws of a magnificent dragon.

 

Ameridan had been suspended in a time spell he had cast, which had been the only way to control the dragon and keep it from attacking the lowlands. He had sacrificed everything for Orlais. After speaking to Ameridan and before the elven Inquisitor had turned to dust, they saw the dragon break free  of the bind that held it prisoner.

 

The very same dragon that they were facing now, supposedly possessed by an ancient Avvar god – the god of war called Hakkon.

 

What made matters worse was that Scout Harding, some of the soldiers, and Cullen had arrived to the place where they were battling the beast.

 

“Cullen! If you die, I’ll ask Dorian to bring you back to life so I can kill you again! What the _FUCK_ are you doing here?” Beatrix screeched before disappearing into a puff of smoke.

 

“Sorry, my dear friend, but I don’t do living people that I know,” Dorian commented to the wind, as Beatrix was in stealth at the time.

 

“But wudn’t Cully Wully b’dead? Easy to spell him back alive, eh?” Sera shouted. Dorian only sighed deeply as he shot a firewall spell at the dragon, keeping it in place to give them more time.

 

“I don’t know what makes me want to scream more, what the Inquisitor said or Sera murdering our language so effectively,” Dorian yelled as he turned to deliver a fireball at the roaring beast next.

 

Sera’s response to this was a raspberry aimed at Dorian. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t see that,” the Tevinter mage smirked.   

 

“Focus, please, Dorian! Or I’ll fucking _kill you_ right after you resuscitate Cullen!” came Beatrix’s angry voice from somewhere behind the mighty beast. “Sera, if you don’t focus, I’ll tell Dorian to curse you!”

 

“Shite!” Sera yelled. “Will not!”

 

“I fucking _will_ if you don’t focus!”

 

“Tsk, tsk. Such language,” muttered Vivienne as she brought shields up for the entire team, unsheathing her great spirit blade at the same time.

 

“I’ll just keep quiet, Buttercup. No need to kill me too!” Varric offered with a grin as he shot volley after volley of bolts into the dragon.

 

While all this was going on, Cullen had easily joined the fray, ordering the rest of his soldiers to stand at the ready, while Scout Harding looked at the scene before her with both curiosity and delight. She was a sucker for dragon fights and had craftily placed herself far enough so she wasn’t chewed, stepped on or frozen solid by the dragon’s breath – for this dragon was an Ice dragon. Beatrix could have done without this Ice dragon gladly. They had nearly been frozen solid during their previous fight with the damned Jaws of Hakkon and a revenant who had been possessed by the spirit of Hakkon.

 

Hakkon really did do a lot of traveling in spirit form. He now supposedly inhabited the very dragon they were fighting. Beatrix shook her head as she reappeared at the dragon’s legs, hacking away at one of the front limbs just as Cullen and Bull moved in to give her a hand.

 

Aside from the dragon being dangerous, it spoke to them from time to time. Its arrogance was beginning to get on everyone’s nerves and they were constantly attacked by hordes of deepstalkers that had icy cold mouths and teeth.

 

It was a difficult fight to say the least.

 

Beatrix then tried something to turn the tables in their favor. She stood directly in front of the dragon. Cullen’s eyes widened, alarm written all over his face. He barely missed a swipe from the dragon’s tail as he started to move forward towards Beatrix, aiming to protect her at all costs.

 

“You fucking stay right there! Flank her when I get her attention!” Beatrix yelled, then turned to the malevolent beast. “Hey, Hakkon-thing! You are a _JOKE_ as a god! My Maker could _Kick. Your. Ass!”_

 

“Die for that offense, human mortal!” the dragon screeched, trying to lunge itself forward to attack Beatrix. “Behold my power!”

 

But before the dragon even had time to encase Beatrix in ice, both Bull and Cullen reached the soft leathery underbelly of the beast at the same time, and delivered the killing blow. Bull’s greatsword opened it up completely, entrails and blood rapidly falling from it and completely covering the two warriors, who then ran out of the way as the dragon collapsed in a pool of its own blood.

 

Before anyone had had a chance to speak or yell victoriously, the beast turned to ash and left only dragonbone on the icy ground. Then everyone saw a transparent green image of the dragon rising from the remains and disappearing into the sky.

 

“Damn!” Varric commented. “Nobody is going to believe this shit, but who cares anyway! I’ll be so rich I’ll buy Kirkwall!”

 

…

 

They were invited to Stone-Bear Hold to celebrate afterwards.

 

Before they arrived at the inn for the feast, Cullen, Beatrix and her companions were asked to stop by Thane Svarah Sun-Hair’s dwelling. Once they arrived, they slowly took their places in a semicircle around a stone structure with a fire pit in the middle. The Avvar leader sat on her throne directly across from the roaring fire and remained silent, as if she was waiting for something. As soon as one of the Avvar appeared at the door, she cleared her throat.

 

“Inquisitor, you have done more for Stone-Bear Hold than most here do in their lifetime. You have gained a legend-mark of your own and will now be known to us as Inquisitor First-Thaw!”

 

“I am honored, Thane,” Beatrix replied humbly. Cullen shifted in his place. Beatrix did not even chance a look in his general direction, feeling a mad desire to laugh herself silly. She dare not even ask why ‘First-Thaw’. The Avvar were certainly straight and to the point.

 

Thane Svarah turned to look at something in a darkened corner of the room. Beatrix looked curiously towards the area and a great bear suddenly lumbered into the light from the shadows there. It was their hold pet, the bear that had fought with them during the siege of the Winter Temple, who had saved their lives more than once.

 

The silence in the room was overpowering. The female bear continued to walk and then stopped suddenly, sniffing the air around her. Her eyes spotted Cullen and she roared. Cullen took a step back and Beatrix could not help herself, a brief giggle escaped her lips and she rapidly turned it into a cough. The bear stood on her hind legs and walked towards the Commander. At that very moment, Beatrix looked up at Cullen and tried to turn away, but was mesmerized by the entire scene taking place before her very eyes.

 

Cullen’s look of pure terror was replaced by one of complete surprise as the bear slowly, but gently put one of its paws on his chestpiece. His eyebrows shot to his hairline as the bear slowly but surely settled its great arms around him in an embrace.

 

“Maker’s Breath!”

 

The rest of the team tittered in their places, some unable to look at the scene. Sera laughed outright, her giggles filling the room, while the rest were having great difficulty in keeping their wits about them.

 

“Aw!” Varric said, a hand on his chest. “The bear thinks you’re its papa! So sweet! Looks like you have some competition there, Your Inquisitorialness.”

 

The group burst out laughing. Even Thane Svarah was laughing at the entire scene. Cullen was now blushing furiously, not quite sure what to do with his hands and arms until he finally succeeded in putting them around the great animal. He patted it slowly, his eyes flashing furiously at the room from time to time, which only made them laugh louder.

 

Presently Thane Svarah stopped laughing and commanded the bear to stand before her.  
  
“Storvacker,” the Thane addressed the animal, who had the decency to look ashamed. “You are here to answer for your actions.”

 

“Her actions?” Beatrix asked, obviously extremely puzzled at the Thane’s words.

 

“Yes, Inquisitor First-Thaw,” Thane Svarah said seriously. “She allowed herself to be taken prisoner instead of fighting to the death. That is not what a warrior of this hold does. She should not have succumbed so easily to her captors’ wishes.”

 

“I - I see,” Beatrix fumbled. She really didn’t ‘see’ at all. The whole thing was funny and her mind kept showing her the images of Cullen in the bear’s embrace. That fur mantle that Cullen always wore had probably done the trick. She wanted to kiss it right now, and sing praises to it. The laughter bubbled up and she barely contained it.

 

Thane Svarah apparently noticed nothing amiss. She turned to face Beatrix, her eyes keen and bright.

 

“You judge others in your position, do you not?”

 

The question left Beatrix in a mild state of shock, all desire to laugh suddenly and most effectively gone.

 

“I beg your pardon?” Beatrix asked, hopeful that the Thane did not mean what Beatrix was thinking she meant.

 

“It falls to me or the Augur to judge Storvacker for her actions. But since the Augur and I could not decide her fate, I would ask a favor from you. I would ask you to judge Storvacker for us, Inquisitor First-Thaw.”

 

“Alright, I...um...wouldn’t want life in the hold to become...un _bear_ able!” Beatrix said keeping her voice in check. Cullen groaned at the terrible pun behind her. Beatrix quickly bit the insides of her cheeks to stop herself from laughing.

 

Inquisitor ‘First-Thaw’ then turned to the bear, her countenance serious. “Storvacker. Your behavior was unfit and uncalled for. Someone in the hold will write out everything you did wrong and will read it to you every morning for a week to remind you of your behavior. I trust you will _bea_ r it and learn your lesson well? I also trust this is sufficient em _bear_ assment?”

 

“Maker’s breath!” Came a whisper from Cullen behind her.

 

“Thank you, Inquisitor First-Thaw,” Svarah said solemnly as she rose to her feet. Storvacker was led out and the thane looked at Beatrix kindly. “Please, let us go to the feast. There is much to celebrate.”

 

And celebrate they did. They danced and sang and drank and ate. By the time they were done, dawn was breaking and heralding the new day.  

 

Cullen shared a kiss with Beatrix before they headed out towards the main camp. “I love you,” Cullen whispered as he looked deeply into her sapphire eyes. A look of love, longing, respect and admiration.

 

Beatrix looked up at him and slowly a smirk formed on her lips.

 

“And I love your fur mantle,” she said with a laugh. “I will adore it forever, light candles to it and laugh every time I remember our time at the throne of Svarah Sun-Hair.”

 

“Maker’s breath,” Cullen cursed as they made their way back to the camp. Shaking his head he let the group lead on until they reached the main camp. His face lit up as soon as they crossed the gates when he spied their children playing with the soldiers.

 

“Now that’s a sight I will remember forever and that I don’t mind recalling one bit,” he said happily.

 

“Same here, my love,” Beatrix murmured as she sprinted into a run to get to the children first.

 

Cullen laughed as he took in the scene of the children and their mother now laughing along with them. His heart swelled with pride, love and complete and unbridled happiness.

 

As far as he was concerned it could rain dragon’s blood right now and he wouldn’t even be angry about it.

 

Not in the slightest.

 

…

 

Skyhold beckoning at them from a short distance was a welcoming sight. Soon they would be home and be able to enjoy life and the twins for at least a while before something else took them away again. The carriage that Beatrix and the twins were riding came to a stop at the stables and she eagerly waited for Cullen to open the door for her and help her with the twins. Cullen’s smiling face told her he was just as happy as she was when he opened the door. He quickly grabbed Andreas, making the twin laugh shrilly as he carried him towards the main staircase.

 

Then, it happened.

 

Sharp pain shot up from the anchor on her left hand. It made her hand tremble. She had been experiencing slight discomfort with the mark, but never this pain that made her want to scream. The twin who had been left in the carriage with her, now stood still looking at her hand. Her little mouth was open in an ‘o’ of wonder and her eyes were wide and fearful. Beatrix shook and caught her left hand with her right, mindful enough to smile at little Eleanora, who had started to cry by then.

 

“Lenny, mommy is fine!” she whispered to the distraught child. “See?”

 

The mark was only fizzling a bit and the pain was nearly gone. She scooped Lenny into a hug and held her close. “Mommy is fine, I promise you!”

 

The little toddler opened her eyes and smiled. Beatrix smiled back just as Cullen arrived at the carriage.

 

“Love, is everything alright?” he asked. “I didn’t see you behind me so I returned.”

 

“Yes, of course,” Beatrix lied with a smile. She squirmed uncomfortably, trying hard not to meet Cullen’s eyes. “I just had a little bit of trouble getting Lenny.”

 

“I’m here now, I can take her,” Cullen replied with a gentle smile. “Let’s go. They both need baths and so do we.”

 

The mark had finally stopped glowing and Beatrix took a deep breath, finally meeting Cullen’s eyes.

 

“Sorry, love,” she said contritely. “I guess I’m just too emotional because we’re home. Let’s go get cleaned up, shall we?”

 

Sapphire met golden and for a brief moment all was right with the world. They hurried towards the grand staircase and the twins’ rooms, nodding to the nobles assembled in the main hall as they walked towards their quarters.

 

“I love you,” Cullen whispered along the way. “I’ll always be around to hold you close. Remember that.”

 

Beatrix started, but schooled her expression as she met his eyes again.

 

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way,” she responded softly with a loving smile.

 

…

 

The passing days turned to months and the twins grew. Beatrix experienced the pain from her mark again and again in the days that followed that fearful day in the carriage when it had all started. She started to work with her daggers practicing new moves with the straw dummies in the courtyard. This effectively distracted her from the pain most days. But soon she discovered that her mark only flared up when she was angry, worried or just too emotional to think straight.

 

She kept the whole thing a secret, or at least she thought she did. She didn’t want anything to upset Cullen, he was so happy. Therefore, a few months later, she sought Vivienne out.

 

Vivienne took one look at her and stopped what she had been doing.

 

“My dear, how can I be of assistance,” she murmured, her eyes on Beatrix’s mark which was pulsing lazily.

 

“I – I need your help, Vivienne. I know you have to leave to take your place as Grand Enchanter, but I have to ask you for your help. I’m sorry.”

 

Vivienne’s carefully school mask fell for a brief moment and real concern shone through. “Darling, you mustn’t be sorry to seek help. I will help any way that I can.”

 

“Thank you,” Beatrix sighed. “The anchor has been flaring up recently, so I was wondering if you could see what’s wrong with it.”

 

Vivienne frowned slightly as she took Beatrix’s hand in her own. She was careful as she held on, a bright yellow glow suddenly bursting forth from her hands directly into the mark. She gave a brief scream of confusion and dropped Beatrix’s hand, taking a step back. Her icy blue eyes bore into Beatrix’s for a  few moments.

 

“When did it start to flare up, darling?” Vivienne inquired as her mask came back on, hiding the concern she was feeling for Beatrix.

 

“Months ago, when we arrived at Skyhold. I hope there is something you can do to…calm it down?”

 

Vivienne frowned briefly and Beatrix’s heart sank. She knew deep down inside that the magic in the mark was slowly spreading and the look that Vivienne gave her confirmed her worse fears.

 

“I’m sorry, my dear,” Vivienne whispered. “I wish I could help you, but the magic in the anchor is extremely unstable. It is slowly spreading up your arm. This is ancient magic and I haven’t seen it before, so I cannot deal with it as I should.”

 

Beatrix nodded at this, lifting her left hand so she could get a better look at it. The mark continued to emanate a soft, pulsing light until she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to will it to stop. Fear was creeping inside her, and Beatrix wasn’t sure she could deal with fear at the moment.

 

Vivienne interrupted her thoughts. “I could give you something which might help, my dear. I cannot guarantee it will help you all the time, but it’s worth the try.”

 

Beatrix’s eyes flew open. “Please do,” she whispered.

 

She would do anything to keep this from Cullen. If it meant she had to take some kind of potion to calm her nerves, then she would take it. And take it gladly.

 

Vivienne nodded as she turned to her room where she looked for ingredients to make the potion. Once it was done, she handed Beatrix a rather large vial.

 

“I’ve used up all my ingredients, Inquisitor,” Vivienne announced. “Make sure you take a sip every time the mark flares up. It will help with the pain you are experiencing.”

 

“I never told you it hurt,” Beatrix commented, her eyes opening slightly in surprise.

 

“You don’t have to, my dear. It is plain to see that you _are_ in pain.”

 

…

 

Beatrix sighed as she leaned against her closed door, shutting her eyes. The potion had clearly helped, but she wasn’t feeling any better about what this meant. Briefly she thought about Andraste and wondered if she could will herself into her happy place more often. She needed answers.

 

“There you are,” Cullen said as he stood above her at the top of the short flight of stairs.

 

“I’m sorry my love,” Beatrix climbed up the stairs quickly, finally reaching the top to stand before him. “I was with Vivienne and lost track of time. It’s late, isn’t it? Are the twins asleep?”

 

Cullen placed a finger over her lips softly. “Shh,” he bade her as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his embrace. “I know something is bothering you. Your mark has been active. You need not hide it from me, my love. I’m always here for you.”

 

His mouth came down on hers swiftly, stealing her breath and coaxing her lips apart. He tasted her, using his tongue to thrust and withdraw, all the while savoring the sweetness of her mouth.

A shiver coursed through Beatrix. "Cullen," she whispered breathlessly.

"Look at me, my love." Tilting her chin upward, he made it all but impossible for her to look away. Slowly, her long lashes swept upward, baring her soul to the hypnotic spell of his intense golden eyes. What he saw must have pleased him, for he lowered his head and kissed her once more, drawing her in even further. His mouth was soft and addictive. Nudging her lips apart with his seeking tongue, he deepened the kiss, pressing his body against hers, making her fully aware of his blatant state of arousal.

A wild shudder rippled through Beatrix and she clung to him. "Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it together. Or perhaps I can take your mind off it for a while," he whispered against her lips. 

As their lips broke apart again, she breathlessly murmured in return. "I need you, my love.”

He watched her lips form the words, his mouth still hovering mere inches from hers. Then his lips molded to hers again, claiming them completely, giving fire and heat and passion, and demanding it in return.

He kissed her wildly, deeply, thrusting his tongue into the sweet warmth of her mouth. He groaned, nearly on the verge of losing control of his senses. Sweeping her into his arms, he carried her a few paces to their bed. He settled her down onto it, covering her with his body. She cried out as she felt him press her flush to the mattress.

With a will of its own, her back arched, inviting him into the cradle of her slender hips. Cullen groaned, grasping her face between his palms. He kissed her again, thrusting his tongue back into her mouth. She tasted incredibly sweet, sweeter than honey. His hips jerked unconsciously, eliciting a hum from her. He let out a groan, his breath coming out in raspy pants as he broke away from the kiss.

She barely had time to adjust to the loss of his mouth when she felt the delicate sweep of his tongue on her sensitive ears. She shuddered and cried out, lost in the sensations he expertly created. 

"Cullen…" she breathed heavily, trembling with the staggering desire this man always stirred up within her.  He rose above her and looked down at her, his amber eyes dark with unbridled need. He wanted her more than anything, needed her more than anything. She was a fire in his soul no amount of water could quench.

"Beatrix…I love you so much." His voice came out strained as he struggled to still the emotions clamoring within.

She whimpered softly, wanting him fiercely. She was all too aware of his eyes caressing her body. She knew he wanted her as much as she needed him. "Cullen…" her hips twitched instinctively, softly brushing against him. He let out a fierce growl, his body going completely taut. A muscle in his jaw jerked.

"Maker’s breath," he started with a groan. “We are wearing far too many clothes.” They shed their clothes quickly, both eager for what was to come. His need for her as well as his desire to take care of her drove him hard.

Cullen’s hands wandered down her body even as his lips nibbled over and down the side of Beatrix’s neck, and he buried his mouth against the pulse hammering slowly along her throat. His mouth brushed across her ear, exhaling slowly and gently. His wandering hands went down the length of her thigh, pausing before beginning the slow journey back up, dipping forward to slide over her abdomen, and swirling gently around her navel in a slowly shrinking spiral. His tongue delicately traced the outermost edge of her ear, pausing on the lobe to pull it into his mouth and suck on it gently. When Cullen’s finger touched her navel, he placed his palm flat against it, sliding his strong hand up her belly, nestling it for a moment beneath her full breasts.  
  
Beatrix shivered and moaned. She pressed against his chest, wanting the moment never to end.  

Cullen’s hand cupped her breast, squeezing slightly. She exhaled softly, her breathing deeper and slower as he pinched her nipple with his thumb, slowly applying increasing pressure. After a moment Beatrix could maintain her composure no longer.  
  
She frowned slightly in frustration, gasping, turning her head so that her mouth caught Cullen’s. His tongue immediately plunged into her mouth, all pretenses at delicate kisses shattered. Cullen’s other hand came up from the bed beneath him where he had been leaning on it to tangle in her hair, pulling her mouth closer as he plundered its depths. Cullen’s fingers on Beatrix’s breasts became slightly cruel, but her arousal was increasing in direct proportion to the fierce pressure of his touch.  
  
Beatrix reached up to slide a hand into Cullen’s blonde hair, her hips rising slightly from the mattress. Cullen stroked down her belly, brushing past her mound, teasing as he trailed his fingers over her parted thighs.

His fingers slipped in between her thighs, delicately tracing the swollen lips of her most sensitive spot, gathering the moisture that had collected there like dew. The long, slow strokes brought him closer and closer to her delicate core, slowly parting the petal-like folds of flesh that hid that warm, fleshy nub.

Cullen’s mouth left Beatrix’s, fastening upon her breast and her tightly puckered nipple. He pulled it into his mouth, tugging hard on it, sucking deeply with each careful stroke of his fingertip over her hard little button. Beatrix gasped, hands clutching Cullen’s hair, hips shoving against Cullen’s hand, wanting more, wanting to be filled.

Cullen’s hand slipped down, his middle finger sliding along just outside her channel, gently slipping it into her. Beatrix gasped and shoved against him. Cullen pressed his finger all the way in, his thumb coming to rest with unerring precision on her hidden nub.  
  
Beatrix moaned softly, pulling him back up by the hair to press her hungry lips to his. Her legs spread wide, and he tucked one of his legs over her knee so she couldn't close them. With a mischievous twinkle in his eyes and that delicious smirk on his face, Cullen slipped a second finger into Beatrix, his lips now kissing a trail down her neck. He pressed his mouth to the thundering pulse at the side of her neck, and sank his teeth into her throat as he suddenly pulled his fingers back and thrust them into her with erotic force. Beatrix gave a short, sharp cry, her voice rising briefly into the cool dark of the evening. Her nails sank into Cullen’s shoulders, and they unclenched as he pulled his teeth back, soothing the spot with a soft kiss. Beatrix was panting, a slight film of perspiration gleaming all over her body, making her creamy flesh golden in the light of the roaring fire in the fireplace.  
  
Beatrix could feel Cullen’s cock pressing into her hip. His length rubbed against her as he ground his hips briefly. She wanted so desperately to feel it inside her.

He was now loving her with his hand, slow hard strokes, just the way he knew she would like it. Beatrix surged against him, mad with desire. Cullen broke off from kissing her, and knelt above her, pulling his hand out. Beatrix looked up at him, lips swollen, eyes wide and dark, hungry and desperate.

Cullen leaned down, sliding his hands under Beatrix, gripping her bottom in his palms. He pulled her up toward him, kissing her mound, and then slowly opening his mouth, closing it over her completely, breathing hotly on the wet flesh. Then his tongue snaked out and gave her a broad, flat stroke, from the back all the way to her painfully swollen nub. He repeated the process and Beatrix moaned, clutching the bed. He continued his ministrations for a few minutes until she screamed his name, as she fell over the edge and lay back, spent but content.  

Before Beatrix could relax from her orgasm, he rubbed the tip of his swollen cock up and down her swollen lips to get it wet with her juices.

"Cullen!!" Beatrix screamed while her hips undulated as she tried to push him inside her.

He couldn’t take it any longer. He pushed inside her slowly, savoring the moment. Soon they were deep in the throes of passion, each thrust bringing them closer to the edge.

His movements became more erratic, wildly claiming her again and again as they reached the point of no return together. Her pants and cries now filled the room. They were sweet music to Cullen’s ears as he pounded in and out of her, groaning with every thrust he made.

Soon it was too much for either of them and they came, rocking into each other, holding each other closely.

“I’ll love you forever,” Cullen whispered, breathing heavily. He slowly withdrew from her and pulled her close. “I will never stop loving you,” he added in a soft voice.

“Cullen,” Beatrix murmured nestling onto his chest, her breath coming in gasps.

And then the tears started.

“Shh, my love, hush! It will be alright,” Cullen whispered, his arms enveloping her lovingly. “I’m here. I’ll always be here to keep you from harm.”

But as Beatrix cried onto his chest, she knew the truth: It would never be alright.

This was the beginning of the end.

…


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally able to post this one. The muse went completely insane and ran off at the last minute. Had to wait for her to return, lol!
> 
> Hope you all enjoy, we are almost at the end, dear friends! Thanks so much Lady Darksbane for all your help and big hugs to all who have been here for me! <3
> 
> I would love some feedback! Comments are like chicken soup for my soul!

…

Gradually, her friends moved from Skyhold to pursue their dreams, promising to keep in touch. Varric moved back to Kirkwall. Vivienne finally left to take her position in a newly established Circle, which was much more lenient towards the mages. Dorian travelled to Tevinter, just for a short visit he’d said. But he hadn’t come back as quickly as Beatrix hoped. He was a true friend and Beatrix found her missing him most of all. They had, after all, become close friends since she’d met him in Redcliffe.  Blackwall had been home to ask his relatives and friends for forgiveness. The consequences of his actions followed him around wherever he went. He corresponded regularly to Beatrix and always stated how he missed Skyhold in his letters. Sera stayed in Skyhold, but would often be out and about with her Jennies. Cole stayed in Skyhold as well, helping those injured or in pain. Beatrix often found herself extremely sad about how life was slowly pushing them all apart.

After several months, Beatrix received a missive from Divine Victoria. She smiled as she tore the wax seal apart, dying to read the written words as quickly as possible.  

Cassandra Pentaghast had been made Divine over two years ago,  shortly after that last battle with Corypheus. She had expressed her thanks to Beatrix for supporting her and had donned the mantle of Divine shortly afterwards. Even though Beatrix wished to travel to the coronation ceremony, she hadn’t been able to for this was about the same time the twins had been born.

Beatrix had missed Cassandra terribly. They had been writing to each other regularly before her coronation, but as Divine, she had so much to do that gradually word from her had been far and in between.

Lately, however, it was Beatrix who just couldn’t bring herself to write. The problem with her mark had put a damper on everything else. She couldn’t bring herself to tell her friend what she was going through. She knew Cassandra had problems of her own. Being Divine was not a walk in the park, but so far she had done her work admirably.

The words that jumped up at her weren’t at all similar to the ones Cassandra would write. The whole thing, in fact, was a document from Divine Victoria herself, with her signature at the very end of it and a seal to confirm her identity.

_“To the Inquisitor and Herald of Andraste,_

_Let it be known that even though we are in debt for the work the Inquisition has done, it has become imperative to call upon an Exalted Council to decide the organization’s future._

_The two kingdoms requesting this intervention are immediate neighbors of the Inquisition’s present stronghold known as Skyhold. They will not rest until the decision is made to intervene directly with the Inquisition’s future._

_We are advising you and your staff travel immediately to the meeting. If this is not done, the Chantry will excommunicate the Inquisition and the countries requesting this Council will be free to attack Skyhold at any given time._

_We hope to see you there at your earliest convenience._

_Respectfully,_

_Divine Victoria I_

_Head of the Chantry”_

Beatrix frowned until she discovered a mark written on the far right of the page. Further scrutiny revealed a note written hastily in almost illegible handwriting.

_“My hands are tied, could not do more for you my dear friend. Please come quickly.”_

Beatrix folded up the parchment and immediately left the room, calling an emergency meeting with her advisors. She arrived at the war table room before the others and sighed deeply, placing the parchment on the carved table as she waited for the others to come into the room.

Josephine, being the one in closest proximity arrived first, coming to a stop at her usual place in front of the table, directly across from Beatrix. She tried to talk, but Beatrix immediately stopped her from doing so by holding up her right hand and shaking her head. Leliana immediately appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, with Cullen following closely behind. Beatrix didn’t even chance a look in their direction until they were all standing in front of the table across from her.

When she looked up she saw a serious look on all three. Cullen’s frown reached his eyes as soon as he caught the distraught look on her face. She shook her head and opened the parchment, starting to read the Divine’s words almost immediately.

When she was done, she looked up. Josephine had a vacant look on her face and was shaking her head. Cullen looked at her in shock for a few moments, then nodded his head as if lending her his silent support, but Leliana – Leliana was the picture of calmness. Indeed, she looked positively serene and actually smiled at her.  

Beatrix’s eyes narrowed, her heart thumping in her chest.

“Anything you’d like to share, Sister Nightingale?” she asked through clenched teeth, straightening her posture and glaring directly into her eyes.

“Inquisitor,” Leliana’s smile disappeared, concern shining briefly in her clear blue eyes. “My scouts have – “

“You knew!” Beatrix hissed angrily, cutting off her remark. “You knew all along and did not _tell_ me? Why?”

“Inquisitor!” Leliana exclaimed, speaking her next words in a rush. “Divine Victoria wrote me a short missive, explaining what was brewing and asked me not to share it with anyone. She wanted to try to dissuade both Ferelden and Orlais from taking immediate action against us and you worried me with your mark–“

“How could you keep something so serious from me? You no longer work as Left-Hand of the Divine! You work for the Inquisition!” Beatrix declared angrily.

“My scouts have –“ Leliana began trying to calm Beatrix down.

“Shove your scouts up your ass!” Beatrix snarled at her. And then, right after she had uttered the words, her mark flared to life, causing Beatrix to double up in pain. Everyone in the room started, freezing in their places as Beatrix took her left hand into her right, trying to stop the mark from getting worse. The voices in her head drowned out everything else and she screamed.

“SHUT UP IN THERE! BY THE MAKER!”

The silence in her head was a sudden sweet reprieve for Beatrix. She looked up to the shocked faces of her three advisors and shook her head. “Ever since I drank from that _BLOODY WELL_ by mistake these voices keep chatting to me! _Fuck_!”

No one replied to her comment. Leliana’s apparent concern was too much for Beatrix.

“We’ll regroup once I’ve taken something for my…nerves. You are all dismissed,” she barked as the mark calmed down slowly, now pulsating softly.

They filed out of the room, but Cullen stayed behind at the last moment, shutting the great doors quietly. He walked to where Beatrix was standing – her back to him, straight and stubborn; her stance rigid. He heard her sigh and her shoulders slumped a little.

“Cullen, I know you’re there.”

He walked to her then, embracing her from behind and she turned in his arms to lay her cheek against his silver chestpiece, sighing again as he held her closely.

“Love,” he murmured. “I’ve got you.”

“But – “ she murmured and he shushed her gently.

“Shhh. Just relax for a moment, alright? The world will not fall apart right now.”

Beatrix relaxed feeling her heart slow down as she melded into him even closer. A smile suddenly appeared on her face as she leaned back to look up at him.

“You’re good!” she exclaimed with a laugh. “I’m feeling –“

But Cullen cut her sentence off with a passionate kiss that made her tremble with want and desire.

“Cullen,” she broke apart, “we should – “

“I locked the door. Tell me, what should we do, Inquisitor?” Cullen rumbled, his hoarse voice making her shudder with pleasure – the intensity in his eyes making her weak in the knees.

“I have a few ideas,” she purred, stepping backwards carefully towards the great table.

“I like the sound of that,” he smirked as he got closer to her.

“Mmmm, I do too…” came Beatrix’s reply as he bent over to kiss her again, softly and lovingly this time, and very slowly, as if they had all the time in the world.

…

Their journey to Halamshiral was uneventful. Beatrix rode in the front of the procession, with Cullen and Josephine right behind her. Leliana was riding in the carriage with the twins, as well as a couple of her most trusted scouts – Scout Harding amongst them. A tenth of the Inquisition armies rode behind them all.  

The balconies leading up to the entrance of Halamshiral were full of people who waved or nodded to them. On one side Beatrix could see Arl Teagan’s serious countenance, while on the left side she spotted a man dressed in armor wearing a ridiculous gilded mask. She correctly guessed he must be the Orlesian representative.

As soon as they got to the gates and dismounted, Beatrix and Cullen headed directly to the carriage where the twins were and then busied themselves with their duties as parents first and foremost. They would leave the toddlers to appointed aids and once that was done, they walked out into the courtyard to meet with the Divine herself.  

The nobles in the area smiled at them, but the ladies smirked and hid behind fans and whispered. Beatrix bristled at this. It most certainly didn’t go unnoticed as far as she was concerned. By the time they reached the area where the Divine was said to be, she felt frustrated to say the least.

“Most Holy,” Beatrix saluted Cassandra as formally as she could. She had been talking to Arl Teagan, who was representing Ferelden. Teagan did not even acknowledge her presence, which made Beatrix’s anger bubble upwards. She still maintained control over her features, willing herself to look only at Cassandra who was smiling at her.

“My apologies,” Beatrix said stiffly. “I hope I am not interrupting anything?” The words were meant for Teagan, but she did not even look in his direction.

“No,” Cassandra said, taking her arm and leading her further away. As soon as they were out of earshot, the Divine breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, my friend. You cannot imagine how much I wanted to punch the Arl! It is good to see you,” she turned to Cullen, who inclined his head. “And you, Commander Cullen. You are looking well.”

“Most Holy,” Cullen returned her smile. “We came as soon as we could.”

“Yes, I am pleased to see this,” Cassandra nodded to both of them, the love for her friends visible. “I could not contain this any longer. I had to write you that missive, Beatrix, I hope you understand.”

“I do,” Beatrix responded. “What I don’t understand is why now? It seems they have forgotten everything I have done for them.”

“Orlais is a bit more understanding,” Cassandra commented.

“Probably because thanks to us, they have their dear Empress on the throne still?” Beatrix shot back at Cassandra with a frown. “We would have given our lives to save theirs. Now I fully understand what Dorian meant when he said no one would thank me. I believed it then, but I only see it happening now. I didn’t do it for them to thank me. But they could at least remember this.”

“They do,” Cassandra assured Beatrix. “But not to the extent that they should. Come, my friends. We shall wait for the remainder of the Inquisition to arrive and in the meantime have some tea in my office. I must update you on what the situation is at the moment.”

“Remainder of the Inquisition?” Beatrix replied with a puzzled look on her face.

“Yes. All your companions have agreed to come and have sent me missives. I suspect the rest are now arriving as we speak,” Cassandra smiled.

“And here I thought they had neglected my letters because they didn’t want to come,” Beatrix shook her head with a smile.

At that moment, Arl Teagan appeared at their side. Beatrix struggled to keep the smile on her face.

“Most Holy, we will continue our conversation later, I trust?” He asked, his eyes on Beatrix. As soon as Cassandra nodded at him, he inclined his head and turned his full attention to Beatrix. “Inquisitor. How nice of you to come to this Council meeting and honor us with your presence. We have much to discuss, but it is better to say it all at the first Council meeting.”

“Arl Teagan,” Beatrix replied with a nod, her anger barely contained. “I will enjoy discussing the points you wish to make then. I trust you will be kind enough to hear me out?”

Teagan frowned at her words, but Beatrix gave him a brilliant smile. “We will speak later, my Lord.”

They turned around and accompanied Cassandra, weaving their way through the crowd of nobles until they finally reached the interior of the palace. The Divine led them to her offices and shut the door behind her. She then asked them to sit down and smiled at the assistants who came forward with food and tea on trays.

“Eat, my friends. I cannot wait to meet the twins!”

…

Divine Victoria had so much fun with the toddler twins, she nearly forgot she had to plan ahead for the Council meeting that was to be held in two days. She hurriedly excused herself when her assistant came looking for her and promised they would talk more at a later date.

Cullen went to check the Inquisition’s armies while Beatrix wandered around, looking for her former Inner Circle to say hello.

She nearly ran Varric down, momentarily distracted by the great fountain in the main courtyard.

“In all the time we’ve been together, you’ve never stepped on me once,” Varric chuckled as he looked up at her surprised and apologetic face. “Don’t tell me today is going to be the first time you do that!”

She practically scooped him up in her arms and Varric’s chuckle turned into a hearty peal of laughter that rang across the courtyard.

“Buttercup, I want you to keep this a secret, but I’ve really missed you,” he grinned as they broke their embrace.

“So have I!” exclaimed Beatrix excitedly. Then in a more serious note she added, “Is it true what I’ve been hearing about you?”

“People make up all sorts of stories about me,” Varric grinned. “You’ll have to be more specific.”

“Well, Divine Victoria tells me you are the Viscount of Kirkwall now?” she smiled.

“I’ll have to think of a way to get back at her without her reacting too badly now,” Varric commented playfully. “Apparently they _have_ elected me Viscount.”

He sat down in one of the stone benches that were farthest away from the fountain and gestured at her to do the same by patting at the empty space beside him.

“I can’t believe it! You? Viscount of Kirkwall?” Beatrix laughed as she sat, turning a little to keep Varric in her sight at all times.

“None of the nobles wanted the position and since I got back, I had been fixing Kirkwall to look like a grand city again. The punishment for _that_ was the title of Viscount,” the dwarf sighed. “You know, better buildings, better housing in the poor areas and no red lyrium statue in the Gallows.” He paused, his eyes twinkling merrily. “I do have several gifts I’d like to give you! That’s the best part about being Viscount. No one around to tell you to stop!”

At that moment, a man appeared at Varric’s side, sweating a bit and looking uncomfortable. He inclined his head and proceeded to talk.

“Viscount, there were no missives at all in the grand hall like you told me!” the man stated clearly.

“There weren’t? I could have sworn I saw a tray full of missives, that’s strange. Allow me to introduce you to the Inquisitor, Bran. Inquisitor, this is Bran Cavin who used to be the Viscount of Kirkwall.”

“ _Provisional_ Viscount,” Bran muttered, his nod barely perceptible to Beatrix as he turned towards Varric again with an anxious expression on his face. “Please don’t give away anything else! You’ve already promised several estates!”

“I have only two gifts for the Inquisitor, Bran, and you _have to_ find those missives,” Varric reminded him with a smirk.

“Right! I’ll look for them more carefully and return with them immediately,” Bran said as he turned around and left them.

“There aren’t any missives, are there?” Beatrix asked with a smile on her face, trying in vain to look serious.

“Nope!” Varric replied cheerfully. “Wait until you see what I have for you, Buttercup! You’re going to love it!”

…

Beatrix thought she would never get over the generous gifts Varric had given her – after all the key to the city, which was really the key to a portion of the great chains of Kirkwall, and an estate and title were hardly gifts one could put aside easily. Yet as she walked ahead, she saw Dorian and her heart actually thumped a little faster. The Tevinter mage was chatting with a man that looked like a gilded popinjay. As soon as Dorian spotted her, he made his excuses to the man who smiled and turned to walk away. Dorian embraced her so hard, she was having difficulty breathing. He quickly released her with a smile and she laughed.

“My goodness!” Dorian exclaimed. “We must be careful! I have a reputation to protect after all!”

“It’s so good to see you, Dorian!” Beatrix exclaimed. She quickly embraced him again and then swatted his arm three times in succession. “You naughty, naughty man! How dare you disappear on me?”

“It isn’t the fact that I disappeared that drives you up the wall now, is it? It’s the fact that I haven’t replied to the last twenty-three missives you sent me. Although, you might consider showing me _some_ respect. I am no longer _just an altus_.” Dorian then gave her his brightest smile.

“Moved up in the world, have you?” Beatrix laughed. “And what is it that you are now, pray tell?”

“You stand before the official Tevinter ambassador to the Inquisition, I’ll have you know,” Dorian said in mock indignation. “After all this time, I‘m apparently in a position that would certainly have satisfied my father.”

“Doesn’t he know already?” Beatrix cocked an  eyebrow.

“He probably did when he came up with the title and presented it to the Magisterium. Sadly, he was murdered, thus preventing him from congratulating me in person.”

Beatrix’s hand flew to her mouth. “I’m so sorry Dorian,” she whispered contritely. “I know you weren’t on best terms, but I also know you loved him.”

“Yes, well, you know I detest mushy feelings and mushy confrontations. Why don’t we talk about the twins instead?”

“They have grown and are impossible! Cullen spoils them far too much!” Beatrix laughed. “But you’ll see them soon, I promise.”

“Promises like those are truly motivational,” Dorian smiled.

“So when do we expect you to arrive at Skyhold?“ Beatrix smiled back. “I’d really like to do something when you return. A party, perhaps?”

A look of fleeting sadness suddenly skirted across the handsome mage’s face. It was so fast that Beatrix wasn’t quite sure she had seen it. “What’s the matter?” she joked. “Afraid to tell me you’ll be dallying?”

Dorian sighed deeply. “I suppose I’d better tell you myself, since I don’t wish you to find out from anyone else. It ruins my pariah status, you see.”

“You’re not going to stand there and tell me you aren’t coming back home with us, are you?” Beatrix asked, her emotions suddenly getting the best of her.

“That, my dear friend, is something I have to tell you. It isn’t pretty, but you must know.”

Dorian led her to one of the benches and had her sit down beside him. By the time he finished letting her know that he would probably never return, her eyes glistened with unshed tears. Even though he pulled out a gift that turned out to be a sending crystal to keep in touch, it did not make Beatrix feel any better. Dorian had quickly taken the spot in her heart that had exclusively belonged to her brother. She would miss him terribly.

She clutched his gift to her heart as she watched Bull take Dorian away to get reacquainted, wishing fiercely and selfishly that there would be a way to turn back in time.

Sighing, she stood facing the direction of the impressive waterfalls in the third courtyard. She walked towards them, curious at what she would find in the building underneath and found Cullen, who was playing with a mabari.

Her heart constricted and she felt her pulse miss a beat as the mark flared up again. Breathing deeply she managed to control it, but it took a great deal of effort on her part. All at once she remembered she should not be so selfish.

Her life was ebbing away thanks to the bloody thing. Who was she to make demands of her closest friends and family when she herself had so little time left?

Forcing herself to smile, she approached Cullen and the dog. When he looked up and saw her standing there, his face immediately lit up.

“A dog?” Beatrix mused. “I daresay you both have hit it off.”

“He was next to the quartermaster’s building. The previous owners abandoned them,” Cullen said as he straightened. “I couldn’t just leave him there, a Fereldan in the midst of all those Orlesians. Reminded me too much of myself when we were here before. So I…rescued him.”

“Rescued him?” Beatrix repeated dumbly as she watched Cullen turn a bright red color.

“Yes. I – Could we keep him?” Cullen added after a few moments of silence. His eyes were pleading and this made Beatrix melt inside.

“Keep him? You want a mabari near the children? Is that wise?”

The dog whimpered, his accusatory glance making her smile in spite of the seriousness of the situation. “Aww, who’s a good dog?” She said next as she bent down to pet him. The dog waved its little tail about, then promptly rolled on its back, begging to be petted there.

“Mabaris are very loyal and protective. I’m sure you have nothing to worry about concerning the children,” Cullen said with a chuckle as he watched the mabari now licking Beatrix’s face. “And I see he really likes you.”

“That doesn’t matter, Cullen,” Beatrix started, but the dog had made up its mind and gave a short bark, followed by a whining sound and licked Beatrix’s face again and again, making her topple to the ground.

Cullen burst out laughing and quickly helped her up, his eyes shining with love and adoration. Before he even had a chance to think it through, he said two words he had been thinking of saying ever since they had arrived at the Winter Palace. 

“Marry me?”

…


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short, but there is only another left and then the epilogue. I had to cut it short here or it would have been much too long if I had posted it entirely.
> 
> Many thanks once again to all your comments, kudos and all your support! Thanks to my lovely beta, LadyDarksbane who is always there for me! If you haven’t checked out her fics, you should! They are amazing!
> 
> There are spoilers here for 'Trespasser' DLC!
> 
> Feedback is more than welcome! Like I said before, your comments are like chicken soup for my soul! :D

...

The wedding was private and carried out in a corner of the gardens. Cassandra married them, her eyes misting over several times with happiness.  All her old companions were there and overjoyed for the couple. And even though they wished they could sing and dance and celebrate, it seemed that the Exalted Council could not wait, sending them a runner in order to remind everyone that the first meeting was to start soon.  

In her quarters, Beatrix found herself getting out of her wedding gown and stepping into formal wear as fast as she could.

“Let me help,” Cullen crooned behind her, already helping her into their ‘formal’ uniform. He turned her around to see if everything was in order and she suddenly stretched on her tippy toes to give her husband a passionate kiss.

“I love you,” she whispered and Cullen shook his head, the smirk she loved so much already on his face.

“We need to go, my love. The Council meeting has probably already begun,” Cullen said in between kisses.

“You’re right, but just another kiss, ok?” Beatrix said softly, looking into his amber eyes. “For luck.”

Kissing had never felt so wonderful before Cullen – he was too good at it. In fact, she very nearly forgot about the meeting. He eventually stopped kissing her and she leaned back to smile up at him.

“Let’s go! I think we’re already late.”

“ _Fashionably late_ ,” Cullen chuckled. “But you’re right. Let us be off and get this over with.”

They walked towards the huge doors in the main hall and as soon as they got there, Cullen pushed them open. It was then and there that Beatrix sped up a little.  

The Exalted Council had indeed begun and she was late, fashionably or no.  
  
Hurrying into the vast room, some of the nobles there turned to look at her and she slowed down, walking calmly to the front of the room. There was a table with two chairs in the front, Josephine was already sitting there waiting, her fingers thrumming the wooden surface. The table itself was right across from a raised dais. A long table had been placed on the dais, and the members of the Exalted Council were sitting in front of the table, regarding her as patiently as possible with the exception of Teagan, who was practically scowling at her.  She resisted the temptation to scowl back at him when her eyes met Cassandra’s. The Divine was smiling at her from the center of the table and Beatrix smiled back.  

“You are late, Inquisitor,” Teagan said with a frown. “I trust we can hear your explanations without you jumping up and leaving us sitting here?”

“I thought that in Orlais, it was _fashionable_ to be late,” Beatrix responded with a smile that did not reach her eyes. The nobles behind her tittered slightly, chuckles and laughs smothered behind gloved hands.

“Indeed,” the man sitting on Cassandra’s right agreed with her statement. He was the representative of Orlais and quite amenable, although his motives were not altogether sincere. He was just another Orlesian noble who wanted something from her.  

“The matter at hand is simple enough, Inquisitor,” Teagan spoke again, his eyes holding hers. “You are currently still occupying parts of Ferelden with soldiers. We are beginning to think you will never leave our lands and naturally feel it like an affront. I certainly would like you to leave the fortress in Crestwood alone, as a matter of fact. You have no business there. You should have given it back a long time ago.”  

“Yes, I took it from bandits!” Beatrix nearly snarled, controlling herself with difficulty. “We impose no levy and we train the villagers to defend themselves. Why don’t you ask _them_ if they feel invaded by us? I’m sure they’ll respond they like having us around.”

“The Inquisition hardly seems to be a force looking to attack,” the Orlesian representative interrupted. “It has done a lot of good in the Western Approach and in Emprise Du Lion ever since Corypheus was defeated. It does nothing but help.”

“Lord Cyril de Montfort, is it not?” Teagan sneered. “Of course you would defend the Inquisition. Thanks to them the Empress remains on the throne after all. Your father would have been a great representative in this Exalted Council. I wonder if _he_ would approve of the way you are handling _this_.”

“Lord Representatives of the Council, please,” Cassandra intervened, looking flustered. “We are not here to insult or belittle each other. I _will_ call the whole thing off and you will be severely reprimanded by the Chantry. I do _not_ think this is what you wish. This bickering must stop!”

“Of course, your Holiness,” Duke Cyril said, inclining his head. Teagan, however, merely gave a curt nod, turning to Beatrix once again.

“I suggest you withdraw from our lands immediately, Inquisitor,” Teagan remarked unpleasantly. “The Grey Wardens also abused our hospitality once and they were exiled for this. A good way to deal with them, in my opinion. They were a nuisance, as the Inquisition now proves itself to be.”

“You mean Grey Wardens like your _own_ nephew, Alistair Theirin, who helped defeat the Blight?” Beatrix flashed him a smile. “I wonder what Alistair would say if he heard what you _really_ think of the Grey Wardens, hmm? I’m sure he wouldn’t approve.”

“The Grey Wardens are heroes who defend us from the Blights,” Cyril de Montfort spoke up. “I regard them highly as you should, Messere.”

Beatrix never got the chance to address the Council again. One of Leliana’s scouts approached her and whispered in her ear.

“Inquisitor, Lady Nightingale requires your presence immediately. I’m afraid it’s very urgent.”

She smiled as she stood, pleased to see the disgusted look on Teagan’s face turn into shock. “I’m sorry gentlemen, Your Most Holy, but a situation has come to my attention and it requires my presence. I’ll be back as soon as the matter is resolved.”

“Understood, Inquisitor,” said Cassandra as she stood. “This meeting is now postponed. Gentlemen and ladies of the court, you may now leave.”

With a slight incline of her head, Beatrix turned and caught Cullen’s eyes at the end of the room. He barely nodded at her, but she saw it and he joined her at the doors, closing them behind them as they walked towards the area that had been designated for the Inquisition – the entire left wing of the palace.  

“Leliana wouldn’t dare interrupt the Council. This is likely going to be very bad,” Beatrix murmured to Cullen. “A matter of life and death probably.”

“Probably, but escaping the clutches of Teagan is always good in my book,” Cullen deadpanned, “what an arse he is!” This comment earned him a laugh from Beatrix. She seemed more at ease afterwards and this put a smile on his face until they reached the place where Leliana waited for them.

A crowd of nobles and commoners were obstructing the view, and they had to make their way through a sea of people to reach their destination. Leliana was standing at the door to one of the smaller buildings, and she immediately nodded at them, so they joined her as quickly as possible.

When they looked inside, the sight that greeted them was not a pleasant one.

“Shit,” Beatrix said sadly with a sigh as her gaze traveled over fresh blood stains and the body of a dead Qunari. “I hate it when I’m right.”

…

They waited for the group in the dungeons, where they were sure they could all meet without the scrutinizing gaze of Teagan or any others that would disapprove wholeheartedly of what was going on, just for the sake of disapproving. Beatrix knew in her heart that only way to solve the impending problem was to probably follow the blood trail. The Qunari had not been killed where he was found or they would have been alerted to an altercation or fight going on.  

There was also the matter of where the Qunari had come from. The palace was well guarded and they could not readily find a place where he could have climbed like Beatrix did the first time she was here without giving himself away because he was hurt. A lone, hurt Qunari was kind of difficult to hide.

This brought about a question that nobody felt comfortable enough to ask. What in blazes was a dead Qunari doing in the Winter Palace? There was no attack from any Qunari, and the Winter Palace wasn’t important enough to target. Beatrix frowned at this. It  made no sense to her.

Bull could offer no answer, not even to the parchment found on the corpse. It had to do with Qunari sayings and he translated that as best as he could to a group of humans that didn’t even understand what it meant to live under the Qun, let alone think as one.

Since they were just speculating, Beatrix asked them to give their opinion on how they had to deal with this as fast as possible.

“Well, I have an idea about that,” Varric broke through the silence that followed Beatrix’s question. “All you have to do is follow the blood trail. Once you find the source, you’ll find answers, or more questions to your answers. Finding all the answers would just be too easy.”

“Ever the eternal optimist,” Beatrix chuckled. “Thanks Varric.”

“I live to serve,” the dwarf responded with a low bow, while Divine Victoria (Cassandra) reacted as eloquently as always with an unmistakable, “Ugh!”

Once they’d decided that the best course was to follow the obvious blood trail, Beatrix sprang into action, with Cullen right beside her. They followed the patches of blood that were now dry throughout the gardens in the left wing. They found a hidden alcove of sorts here, with a trellis leading to an open window on the second floor.

From where they were standing, both Cullen and she could clearly see traces of blood on the trellis. Beatrix flashed her husband a smile and waggled her eyebrows.

“Time for a climb!” she said with a chuckle as she grabbed ahold of the trellis and climbed nimbly all the way to the second floor.

Cullen was right behind her.

They entered an area of the left wing that was still unused, the spatters of dry blood leading them to a set of doors that Cullen threw open.

An Eluvian stood at the end of the room, shimmering with a light of its own. The blood trail led right up to it. It looked like the Qunari had gone through the mirror and fallen to the floor, then picked himself up to walk towards the window.

“I didn’t expect to find an active Eluvian here of all places,” Beatrix murmured, her hand suddenly sparking to life. The pain wasn’t at all unbearable, something she was immensely relieved about, but Cullen eyed the mark with a frown.

“There is no way I’m letting you through that Eluvian until we can gather a team to help us,” he said, his brow furrowed.

“Then we’d better go get our team, hmm?” Beatrix smiled. “This is where the Qunari came from, and this is where I’m going.”

“It could be dangerous,” Cullen hesitated eyeing her mark.

Beatrix’s laughter carried across the room and reverberated on the walls.

“Of course it’ll be dangerous. When has anything in our lives _not_ been dangerous?” Her eyes twinkled up at him as she commented and he embraced her, kissing her passionately.

“Alright,” he said, breaking the kiss first. “We’ll get into our armor and come back with your companions.”

“Sounds like a plan.” 

…

The other side of the Eluvian showed a different kind of Crossroads from the one she’d seen when Morrigan had taken her through her Eluvian. The blood stains disappeared through an Eluvian that was dark, which told Beatrix it was inactive.

Having spotted a group of Qunari running off over broken bridges and floating islands, she immediately urged her team to try the Eluvian where the Qunari had appeared from and so they did. They went through the Eluvian into some lovely elven ruins, and an area they didn’t know existed. They found out that Beatrix’s mark could open places that were sealed off and discovered some information about Fen’Harel that they never knew about. Beatrix frowned. It was obvious that all this was Fen’Harel’s domain, that much was certain. But why? Why was he important? Moreover, was he even alive after all these years?

The Qunari bodies that were strewn about looked like they had died from fear, more than anything else. They were also sure that it was a mage that had caused the Qunari deaths, but really didn’t have enough evidence to support this. Just as well also, since it was certain to the group that the Qunari were after something, they just didn’t know what.

“We should try to get to the other side of the broken bridge,” Beatrix said as she fixed her eyes on a missing piece. It seemed to her that it was the key. Further inspection told her that they would just have to go through active Eluvians to see what they could discover.

They encountered spirits that did not attack them, rather let them pass. This was a relief. Beatrix wasn’t really sure how much she could last without her mark bothering her. But at the last mural they found, Beatrix felt the mark change. Now it built up with a rhythm and when she held it up, it would perform a ‘discharge’ of sorts, which alleviated the pain immediately and immensely, casting a bright light upon everything. Some of the places they were visiting were so dark they couldn’t see a single thing, so at least her mark was useful.

When they finally arrived to the dark place where the missing part of the bridge was kept, Cullen noticed how tired Beatrix was. He tried to argue for them to return, but she ended up snapping at him and he knew he had to keep his mouth shut from there on. His wife was stubborn, and right now it felt that nothing he did would keep her from all this.

Varric stepped alongside him with a smile.

“Just relax, Curly,” he murmured. “You know as well as I do that she won’t stop until she gets to the bottom of all this.”

Cullen nodded but his brow was furrowed. He was worried. Varric didn’t know what he knew after all.

They went back to the place with the missing piece at the front of the bridge. Beatrix finally smiled when she put it in its place and the broken bridge was suddenly whole again, enabling them to cross.

They met the Qunari in battle at the end of the bridge. The spirits fighting the Qunari defended them also, so they put everything into the fight. Cassandra was actually smiling when she decapitated one of the Qunari warriors.

“I have missed this!” the Divine called out with a grin on her face.

Varric rolled his eyes but laughed. Bull grunted and Dorian giggled where he stood. Cullen said nothing, focusing on a Qunari with a huge hammer that was doing a lot of damage at the moment.

It took Cassandra, Bull and Cullen to bring that Qunari down, as well as some of Beatrix’s attacks from stealth. When he was finally gone, they searched the place for clues. There was a room full of treasure they couldn’t get to, and Varric complained about this.

Beatrix laughed. “I don’t really think we’ll be able to get through here, unless you want to stay here forever, Varric. Be my guest.”

“You know, Buttercup,” Varric shot back, “you’re such a joy when you’re focused on something else. Warms my heart.”

“Oh for the love of the Maker,” Dorian sighed right next to Varric. “I’m covered in blood and desperately in need of a bath.”

“I can help you with that, Kadan,” the Iron Bull purred.

“Maker’s Breath,” Cullen sighed. “It’s like dealing with our children sometimes.”

“Papa!” Dorian yelled out, bursting out laughing at the same time everyone else did.

Beatrix laughed along with them, then embraced her husband, who was as red as a beet. “Don’t worry, darling. I’m doing fine,” she whispered in his ear.

He nodded with a sigh, then hurried to walk behind her as she quickly moved into rooms looking for anything that would help them in their quest.

She found a note that clearly confirmed what she knew so far: The Qunari were looking for something, only now it seemed to be more of a ‘someone’ than a ‘something’. This ‘someone’ was clearly a mage.

_Two hours ago, an unknown intruder penetrated our defenses. Masked and cloaked. A mage. Used magic to awaken spirits and turned them against us. Intruder moved as if they knew this place, fled after spirits awoke. Dozens dead. Spirits keep attacking. Engagement not reco—_

“Well, if we’re looking for clues, I’d say we found one. We’ll have to return. There’s nothing else here,” Beatrix sighed.

“Finally!” Dorian gave a sigh of relief.

When they used the shimmering Eluvian before them, it took them to the Crossroads again, where they had first emerged from the Winter Palace. A group of Qunari were running ahead, this time using bridges that dipped into the unknown below.

Cullen saw with alarm the glint in his wife’s eyes, and protested immediately before she had a chance to speak.

“Oh, no! We simply can’t follow them again without getting proper rest!”

“It isn’t far,” Beatrix pleaded, turning at once to Dorian, who was regarding her with shock. “and you’re already dirty as it is. Why not take advantage of this opportunity? We might find a better clue this time around.”

“Or die trying to find one,” Varric added with a shake of his head.

Beatrix’s eyes narrowed as she looked at her team, then at Cullen again.

“Fine! I’ll go alone if none go with me!”

“No! You are _not_ going alone at all,” Cullen hurried to say, following her as she turned and walked quickly down some crudely made steps leading to more bridges and connecting floating islands. “Beatrix! Don’t you walk away from me!”

“Stubborn as an ass,” Varric muttered. Shaking his head he turned to follow Cullen and Beatrix. The rest did the same, nobody felt like talking and everyone had a serious look on their faces. All except for Cassandra, who was undoubtedly enjoying herself immensely.

“This is fun,” she said to no one in particular as she, too, followed closely behind.

…

Soon the group arrived at a dark area, and Beatrix immediately knew where they were, the voices whispering urgently in her brain.

“Shit!” she exclaimed, shaking her head. “We’re in the Deep Roads now everyone. Keep your eyes open!”

“Marvelous! My favorite place in all of Thedas!” Dorian called out sarcastically. The noise he made alerted a horde of deepstalkers nearby and they attacked the group at once.

They regrouped, fighting the creatures of the Deep Roads with alacrity. Once the battle was done, Beatrix managed to walk further in, reaching a place where she could see the whole area laid out before her.

“Shit!” she exclaimed, turning to face Cullen, who was right behind her. “This is not good, Cullen. You should return!”

“What? Why?” Cullen asked trying to go around her to see what she was seeing. But at that moment, both Bull and Cassandra stood by Beatrix as well, and he couldn’t catch a glimpse of the area at all.

“This place is full of lyrium. You _can’t_ be here!” Beatrix exclaimed in a worried tone.

“She’s right,” Cassandra said from where she stood. “It looks like the Qunari are mining it. Whatever for is anyone’s guess.”

“That shit could kill, it’s dangerous to handle,” Bull commented. “It’s only good for our mages. Saarebas we call them. Dangerous things.”

“Well, of course we can be dangerous, but not more than a man is with a sword,” Dorian retorted immediately.

Beatrix shook her head, trying to control her anger which was simmering under the surface. Her mark sprang to life, crackling and sputtering brightly in the darkness.

“My love,” Cullen said quietly. “I’m fine. If I can’t deal with it, I’ll tell you and leave immediately, I promise.”

There was silence now. No one dared move a muscle or speak up. Cullen waited patiently, his heart beating loudly. So loudly, in fact, he thought everyone could hear it. Beatrix looked into his eyes in the half-light and saw the determination and love shining in his. She couldn’t let him risk this. Not now when they were so happy. Not now, when they had two children who waited for them back at the Winter Palace.

“I’m sorry, my love, but that’s my final answer. You must turn back and return to Halamshiral immediately. You cannot be exposed to the amount of lyrium here.”

“Don’t do this, Beatrix,” Cullen said, his eyes now flashing with anger.

“You are _still_ my Commander and I _am_ your Inquisitor,” Beatrix replied quietly. “I am telling you to go, before things escalate any further.”

Cullen’s eyes once again flashed with anger briefly, but he did not say a word. He turned on his heels and without a second look marched back the way they had come.

“It will be fine, Buttercup,” Varric attempted to console her. “He’ll be fine when we get back.”

“ _If_ we get back,” Beatrix sighed, her shoulders slumping slightly. “ _If_ we get back at all…”

…


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is here. :( 
> 
> Even though this fic was a background fic for the real one coming up, I feel really sad to see this one end. And horrible about the way it ends, but it has to end this way. Just please don't kill me!
> 
> A special thank you to Serena_Hawke_Theirin for being so kind and editing my last two chapters! If you haven't read her fics yet, I urge you to, they are simply excellent.
> 
> Thanks to all who have followed this crazy idea of mine. You are all wonderful!!!

...

 

The Deep Roads were as awful as ever. The only thing that penetrated the darkness was the beautiful blue of the lyrium. The rest was mostly in total darkness and they had to stop several times to avoid plummeting down into a chasm.

As they ventured forward, they were attacked by silent assassins who whispered to Beatrix, until she too went into stealth. They had a hard time fighting back at first, but they watched each other’s backs in order to avoid being assassinated. Soon, they managed to kill every last one of the assassins when Dorian used a fire spell and fire wall spell in quick succession, englulfing the Qunari rogues in flames. Their screams told everyone where they were at all times, not to mention their outlines were eerily visible as flame monsters for all to see.    

Once they were free of anything that moved or attacked, they trudged forward until they came to a fire pit where they found a human man, warming himself in front of the fire. Beatrix could clearly see they were very close to the actual mines themselves. When they spoke to the man, he told them he was an ex-templar named Jerran. Speaking to him revealed that there was a woman leading the Qunari, someone called Viddasala, who had given everyone orders to attack the Inquisition.

“Viddasala?” Bull interrupted. “Viddasala are supposed to find, study and stop magic. What is she doing mining lyrium?”

Jerran readily told them it all had to do with something the Qunari called ‘Dragon’s Breath’, but he didn’t know what ‘Dragon’s Breath’ was. He only knew they needed vast quantities of lyrium to strengthen the Saarebas.

“If you can reach four main points where everything is being mined, there are gaatlok explosives around, which they are using to mine the lyrium. If you get ahold of the gaatlok primers, you can use them to destroy the four main mining sites and cut off their supplies,” the former templar said. “I want nothing to do with the Qunari any longer.”

“Well, thanks for your help,” Beatrix said with a smile. “You’d better hurry and leave before you are captured and interrogated.”

“Thank you, Inquisitor,” the man breathed a sigh of relief, then made his way out of the area where he had been, disappearing from view a few moments later.

“Boss, why did you let him go?” Bull asked. “He’ll probably be captured and reveal what he told us, so Viddasala will know we’re after her.”

“Yeah, I’m counting on that,” Beatrix laughed. “The sooner the better.”

“Cheer up, Amatus,” Dorian said to Bull. “You may even get a chance to fight the Viddasala.”

Bull burst out laughing. “There’s always that, Kadan! You sure do know how to brighten my day.”

“I love you too,” Dorian replied.

Beatrix gave a giggle, something she rarely did. “Come on,” she grinned. “Let’s go blow everything up!”

Bull burst out laughing.

“I like the way you think, Boss.”

“Of course you do,” Varric said shaking his head. “You and the Inquisitor should start making explosive barrels and set them off once every two weeks in the mountains. Oh, wait! Forgot that can cause an avalanche!”

“Varric,” Beatrix laughed. “The Iron Bull _IS_ an avalanche!”

…

After blowing up all the lyrium mines, they still had to fight a lot of Qunari to get to the huge staircase that eventually led the way up and out of the Deep Roads.

Finally reaching the Crossroads and safe from harm, Beatrix suddenly yelled in pain. Holding up her hand, she felt the mark discharging. Although nobody was hurt, she motioned for them to stay away. Grimacing, she held her left hand in her right as she felt the magic coursing through her veins all the way past her elbow now.

“Beatrix,” Dorian whispered, “you must get that looked at by Vivienne.”

“She wasn’t able to help me back in Skyhold,” Beatrix muttered. “I’ll be fine, I’m just…anxious to get back. We must warn the others about the Qunari plan, even though we don’t really know what it means.”

“Whatever it means, it’s obvious they wish to fight the Inquisition and probably invade southern Thedas,” Cassandra said with a frown.  “Are you feeling well enough to walk?”

“Yes, thank you,” Beatrix smiled as she clenched and unclenched her hand. The rest of her team stepped through the eluvian first. As soon as she had passed through the eluvian, however, she was greeted by the vision of Cullen, who fixed a worried look on her.

“I’m alright,” she quickly said as Cullen rushed forward, taking her in his arms briefly. “I’m fine. We need to call an emergency meeting in the dungeons.”

“Fine,” Cullen said stiffly, his hands now dropping at his sides after releasing her from his embrace. Without another word or glance, he turned and walked out of the room.

Beatrix stared at his retreating form, her brow furrowed.

“Curly will be fine, Buttercup,” Varric said in a low voice. “Don’t worry about this.”

“How can you be so sure?” Beatrix asked Varric as the rest quietly left the room.

“Because he loves you, Buttercup,” he replied with a gentle smile. “Let’s go.”

…

They were talking about the recent developments in the dungeons, when both Cyril and Teagan made their way down the staircase and into the room.

“Clandestine meetings now, Inquisitor?” Teagan sneered, his angry eyes glaring at everyone in the room. “How dare you? You act like you’re the solution to every problem. Why didn’t you inform us about the dead Qunari? How long before you lead us into another war, Inquisitor?”

“There has been a development that is causing some alarm, Inquisitor,” Cyril quickly interrupted. “One of your guards has mistreated one of the Orlesian servants of the Crown. This is unheard of and I wish for you to put an end to it immediately.”

Beatrix’s eyes narrowed. “Ser Teagan, I would watch what you say and learn all the facts first. And please do _not_ interrupt me again. Lord Cyril, I will attend to the problem immediately myself.”

Holding her head high, Beatrix climbed up the stairs, ignoring both the cries of Teagan’s disapproval and the gasp coming from Josephine. She arrived at the left wing where the Inquisition had been accommodated, and her heart stood still with fear when her eyes recognized a round metal container next to the servant. She had just seen these and used them to blow up the lyrium mines. In an instant, she knew they were, indeed, in more trouble than they had originally thought.

She quickly had the Orlesian servant arrested, much to the Palace Guard’s chagrin, and her soldier immediately handed her a note that had been found on the soldier. She quickly read it, just as Leliana reached her.

“We have a problem,” she whispered to the red-headed bard. “These round metal containers are full of gaatlok. If we don’t look for all of them and take them away, all of us could be blown to bits and pieces.”

“This might be the ‘Dragon’s Breath’ plan you were telling us about,” Leliana said. “I’ll have all my scouts search for them, Inquisitor.”

“Thank you, Leliana,” Beatrix smiled, handing her the missive. Leliana did not show any surprise, but smiled sweetly back at her, handing back the note.

“I need to go to where the Viddasala is, but it’s getting rather late and I have not eaten anything,” Beatrix said smiling back. “I’ll head out with my team early tomorrow.”

Leliana turned and headed back to the location where her scouts had settled in and Beatrix turned to enter the tavern.

Sera joined her at the table. “Chasing Orlesian nobles or Qunari soldiers, yeah?”

Beatrix smiled. “Nothing is quiet and peaceful in this place.”

“Yeah, nobles always stick their noses everywhere. You know this is going to the void, yeah?”

Beatrix started eating a huge plate of mashed potatoes, roasted nug and vegetables as Sera went on and on about how nobles ruined everything, especially when they got together and hinted again at the Inquisition’s eminent dissolution.  “But you’re good to have around. You could join us and we can, I dunno, shove it to nobles to get things real normal?”

“Beatrix stopped eating, her eyes now widening in surprise. “You want _me_ to become a Jenny?”

“Yeah, cause you need to be with the good ones, yeah? Have a city like us. With us. What do you say, Cully Wully ladybits?”

“Cully Wully, ladybits?” Beatrix smiled as she resumed eating.

“You know why. Ya got married that’s why, so you’re his lady, and bits, cause ‘BITS’!”

Beatrix chuckled, taking a long sip of her mead. “I’d love to become a Jenny! Let’s toast to it!”

Sera laughed, lifting her mug and toasting with Beatrix. “It’ll be grand!”

“It certainly won’t be boring,” Beatrix grinned.

…

It was already dark when Beatrix made her way to Cullen and her quarters. She had stopped by the office of the Divine earlier, letting Cassandra know what had happened so far. She was deep in thought, worried that they wouldn’t discover all the Qunari gaatlok and that people could get hurt. She opened the door to their room and it shut behind her. In the semi-darkness she saw Cullen in a long tunic, with his loose trousers on, cleaning his shield. He looked up at her and stood, then marched directly to her, stopping only when he was standing before her.

“Beatrix, I do _NOT_ want to be left behind ever again!” he stated, his eyes flashing angrily. “You cannot even begin to imagine how I felt and–“

Beatrix stood on the tips of her toes and kissed him, interrupting him effectively. He pushed away, nearly snarling. “If you think _that’s_ going to change my –“

But Beatrix once again stood on the tips of her toes, kissing him even more passionately, her tongue now teasing the scar on his left upper lip, then demanding entrance to his mouth. She swore she could feel Cullen’s resistance slowly ebbing away, but he pushed away again. Holding her at arms’ length, his eyes dark with lust. “I just want you to know that I won’t stay here –“

The third kiss did it. He gave a half-growl into her mouth as he opened his lips, their tongues now battling a passionate duel. Crushing her to him, he carried her to their bed, where he stripped her of her clothes and kissed her.

“I need to wash, I’m covered in blood, Cullen please,” she said softly against him.

He ended the kiss a few moments later, gazing at her with simple and evident love and adoration.

“I would love to draw a bath for you, Beatrix, but only if I can join you.”

“Do you really have to ask?” Beatrix grinned.

Cullen stood up with a smile, pulling her up and against his chest. “But I _am_ going to accompany you from now on. No travelling without me.”

“Yes, my love. Whatever you want,” Beatrix purred, making him let out a noise that was half a growl, half a sigh as he tightened his embrace, kissing her again and wishing he’d never have to let her go.

…

“The note said something about the eluvian next to the bookcase. We’ll have to look for a bookcase around here,” Beatrix said, taking the first bridge on the right.

“Yes, because that’s going to make things a lot easier! A bookcase on a floating island is just the thing to have if we get lost, right?” Dorian exclaimed cheerfully. “Oh, look! We’re lost! Let’s read a book!”

“I can get lost with you right now, Kadan,” Bull purred.

“Maker’s breath! Not this again!” Cullen groaned, eliciting laughter from the rest.

Beatrix chuckled as they reached the end of the area they were standing on. Beyond floated an island, which had a strange egg-shaped object on it. Right behind the object there was a bookcase and an eluvian shimmering at the very end.

“There!” she pointed.

“Unless you have a dragon that’s been previously tamed, I don’t see how we’re going to reach that,” Varric mused.

 From where she was standing, Beatrix noticed a similar object on her left. It just stood there, emitting no light or movement. Just a strange decoration. Closer inspection of it revealed a hand. She smiled when she realized what the hand symbol meant.

Taking her right hand, she placed it on the symbol. Nothing happened. Beatrix frowned. She had been so sure that…

Cullen let out a yell as she stepped forward, rushing to grab her. However, she did not plummet to her death. A walkway had suddenly appeared and held fast as they crossed the abyss below it. 

Beatrix wasted no time and immediately went through the shimmering eluvian. When she and her companions emerged, they found themselves in an area full of broken buildings on different floating islands all around them. In the center building, which was larger than the rest, she caught movement. Bull handed her his spyglass after he had looked through it.

“There are Qunari there, boss,” he said. “See?”

“Yes, I see,” Beatrix said as she looked. She saw a bridge of sorts with broken down spaces. It looked like they would have to find the missing pieces of the bridge in order to get to the main building. Beatrix discovered she could lift them easily to their original place using the anchor.

As they searched for the missing pieces, they met the spirit of an elven archivist, and different aspects of it who revealed that Fen’Harel created the Veil and in doing so, destroyed the Elven Empire. It saddened Beatrix to hear what the elves had last shouted before their deaths.  

Soon after battling a number of Qunari warriors, they finally reached the main building and met the Viddasala, who walked out of an Eluvian on a raised area in the great hall they were standing in. A great number of Qunari faced Beatrix and her team. They were right below the Viddasala and they stood ready to attack.  

“Inquisitor! Survivor of the Breach, Herald of Change, Hero of the South,” the Viddasala called out. “You have no idea what you are disrupting here. After fulfilling your purpose at the Breach, it is astonishing you still walk free among your people. Your duty is done, Inquisitor. It is time to end your magic.”

“The Viddasala, I presume?” Beatrix smirked. “How about we put our weapons down and talk like civilized people?”

“Are you pretending _now_ to be blind to what _you’ve_ started?” the Viddasala sneered. “I am no stranger to catastrophe, but the chaos in the south defies comprehension. You’ve proven that we should have stepped in long ago to prevent all this from happening.”

“So, I suppose your ‘Dragon Breath’ plan is for this? To ‘step in’ and control our ‘ _magic_ ’ by murdering our heads of state? Interesting choice of action. I wonder if the leaders of the Qun are aware of what you’re up to,” Beatrix promptly stated.

“Don’t tell me you believe that closing the Breach solved everything? That its consequences stopped there?” the Viddasala frowned. “The day we saw the Breach, we had already decided to remove your leaders and spare those who toil. This agent of Fen’Harel has disrupted everything! Lives that were to be spared lost for him! The very same agent who continues to help you, even here!”

“Who are you talking about? This agent does _NOT_ work for the Inquisition!” Beatrix shot back angrily.

But the Viddasala gave an order to the Qunari facing the team to kill Beatrix and then join her at the Darvaarad, whatever that was. Then she left through the Eluvian she had come out of.

The battle they fought was one of the hardest so far, since they were outnumbered and there was a Qunari mage who fought alongside the Qunari soldiers. After dealing with the mage, they were finally able to kill the remaining Qunari and head out to the Crossroads at last.

Beatrix and her team made a trip up a set of stairs to another aspect of the Archivist spirit they had met before. The spirit immediately created a path for them to leave the area through another eluvian, but not before telling her the password for the eluvian that would enable them to get to the Darvaarad.

When they arrived back at the Winter Palace both Cullen and Beatrix immediately called for a meeting in the dungeons.  

The meeting was an extremely tense one. Leliana reported that the gaatlok had indeed been all found and removed from the palace, but the other news she had proved to be too much for them all. They heard from Leliana’s lips how the gaatlok had been placed not only in the Winter Palace, but at the palace in Denerim and other important places on the map of the southern lands.

“The Winter Palace wasn’t the only place targeted?” Josephine asked. “But we cannot be the ones to blame here! The servants were Orlesian were they not?”

“The shipments of the encased gaatlok were ordered by us. Someone in the Inquisition put the order in our supply manifests,” Leliana informed them.

“What?” Beatrix cried out in a strained voice. “ _We’re_ the leak? I can’t believe this!”

“A lot of the elves with us were picked up from Kirkwall, Inquisitor,” Leliana said seriously.

“And most of the elves there turned to the Qunari for help in Kirkwall; they became their agents,” Cullen added in a quiet voice.

“Viddathari,” Beatrix whispered.

“Well, we can explain this to the council, let them know we’ve been –“ Cullen started to say but was interrupted by Josephine.

“This is beyond any explanation, Commander! Do you realize what those in the Council already think of us? They stand ready to disband us!”

“This isn’t our fault, Ambassador,” Cullen replied, but he was again interrupted by a very upset Josephine, whose voice rose slightly.

“It _IS_ your fault! You hid the Qunari body! You caused all this! After all I’ve done for – “

At that moment the mark on Beatrix’s hand came to life, and it tore a scream of pain from her lips. She doubled over, holding her left hand tightly with her right. The advisors all stopped talking and looked at her in shock.

“Dammit!” Beatrix exclaimed, practically snarling the words out in anger. “We save Ferelden, and they’re angry! We save Orlais, and they’re angry! We close the Breach TWICE and my own fucking hand wants to kill me!” She grabbed one of the daggers she kept with her at all times and brought it down on the map of Thedas they had on the long table, stabbing it with an air of finality, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Could one thing in this _BLOODY_ world just stay fixed?”

The advisors came around the table to stand close to her. Beatrix’s eyes met Cullen’s briefly. “I don’t want to die,” she whispered.

Cullen took her in his arms. “Shh, my love. I’ll be there with you. I won’t let that happen.”

“I’m sorry, Inquisitor,” Josephine whispered. “I’ll speak to the Council…”

“I’m sorry too,” Leliana interrupted. Turning to Josephine she shook her head. “I’ll speak to them. You’ve done so much and I discovered this. It’s _my_ responsibility to tell them. Inquisitor, I – “

“It’s fine, I have to end this Qunari threat. I have to go to the Darvaraad,” Beatrix said, embracing Leliana and then Josephine. “I’ll go rally my companions and tell them. I have a feeling I’ll need all of them this time.”

…

The Darvaraad turned out to be a huge fortress occupied by the Qunari. They managed to discover the way to open the locks on the great doors and fought their way inside, arriving to a huge courtyard of sorts that kept a dragon of all things.

“Dragon Breath is actually about a real dragon?” Beatrix murmured as the Viddasala appeared in an alcove above them.

“Hisraad, do your duty! Kill the Inquisitor,” the Viddasala ordered Bull.

“That is never going to happen, Ma’am,” Bull nearly growled back angrily. The Viddasala then ordered her soldiers to kill them and promptly left the room.

The fight against them wasn’t very long, they all died quickly, with the exception of one of the Qunari who attacked with a battle axe that very nearly claimed Vivienne’s life. They advanced to the area where the dragon was kept. Qunari handlers were doing their best to keep it away from the fire that enclosed the great animal in its circular cage. It could not fly off because the area had a secure stone ceiling.

“I need to set it free,” Beatrix told her team. “They cannot continue to torture it like this.”

“I agree, Boss,” Bull said quietly.

Using her anchor, Beatrix quickly dislodged a cart that was keeping the wheels of fire from turning and then she herself went to turn the wheels to allow a path for the dragon to walk to the battlements. Now the only thing left for her to do was open the gates that was keeping it inside while her team battled the Qunari to avoid interrupting her work.

As soon as she did, the dragon looked at her and stomped off, killing as many Qunari as it could as it took flight. She ran towards the Viddasala, who once again stood before her in front of a shimmering eluvian. This time, however, she told Beatrix that it was Solas who was the agent of Fen’Harel. It was he who had caused all the attacks and all the trouble they were going through. She would kill him and end the madness if it was the last thing she did.

When she disappeared through the eluvian, Beatrix and her team were attacked by the Qunari the Viddasala left behind. They quickly fought and killed the horned soldiers and immediately went through the shimmering eluvian.

They found themselves in a what looked like part of the ruins of an elven structure of some kind. The broken down building lay among the wilderness. Hordes of Qunari attacked and, while they fought, Beatrix noticed an eluvian at the other side of the area. When they were done with the Qunari, they approached it, walking through the eluvian only to find themselves in yet another dilapidated ruin with even more Qunari soldiers who attacked immediately upon their arrival. This went on for a few more times. Her team was rapidly growing tired of the fighting and Beatrix wasn’t feeling all too well herself, the magic of the Anchor slowly creeping up her shoulder and to her chest. When they met the Viddasala again, the Qunari leader ordered her Saberaas to kill Beatrix and her team, then escaped through yet another one of the elven mirrors.  

That fight with the Saberaas called Saarath was the most terrible one Beatrix had ever fought. Not only was it exhausting, but Beatrix found herself running away more than once every time the mark in her hand flared up. The anchor now exploded every time it discharged, damaging her team. Fortunately, she had found an amulet of physical immunity from all attacks back at the Darvaraad, which saved her life many times over.  

Saarath fled after the grueling battle, breaking free of his chains. More Qunari appeared from another one of the eluvians in the area, and they barely finished them off. They had to take a break, drinking down water and eating something before stepping through another eluvian. They progressed through more Elven ruins, arriving at what looked to have been the remains of an Elven shrine.  

At this moment, Saarath appeared before them once again, guarding an eluvian behind him. Beatrix then had to fight him and this time it was even harder than the previous battle. The Qunari mage was no longer in control of his magic and started summoning demons continuously to assist him in the fight.

At the end, Cole fell in front of Vivienne and she pursed her lips and quickly healed him, standing tall once she was done, she summoned her Knight Enchanter blade once again, attacking the mage in front of her. Dorian cast a spell of haste to make them attack even faster and the Qunari mage was briefly confused by it, allowing Beatrix to come up to him and hold her mark directly up to his face as her team ran for cover.

The explosion that resulted from the Anchor discharge was fatal, and killed Saarath instantly. Beatrix was left teetering on her feet and fell to the ground shaking like a leaf. Cullen rushed back to her and embraced her.

“My love,” he said quietly, pushing back a lock of her hair.

“Cullen, I – I can’t breathe,” she wheezed as her companions stood around quietly.

“Love, take a breath, and exhale slowly,” Cullen’s voice rumbled softly. “There. In and out. That’s it sweetheart.”

Beatrix blinked repeatedly. “I – I can’t breathe well. Please, you’ll have to carry me.”

Cullen nodded, taking her in his arms and carrying her through the eluvian, just in time to witness a few words between Solas and the Viddasala. The elven mage spoke in Qunlat and then turned the Viddasala to stone before she even had the chance to kill him.  

“Solas!” Cullen yelled from where he was standing.

The elven mage turned with a smirk on his face, which quickly disappeared when he saw Cullen was carrying Beatrix in his arms. He rushed over to where they stood.

Beatrix was now wheezing badly – the magic of the anchor had completely taken over her entire left arm. She looked up at Solas and gasped, unable to talk, then turned to look at Cullen tenderly.

“This is what I feared would happen at Haven,” Solas murmured. “No mortal can bear the mark, for it was meant for me alone. The orb was Fen’Harel’s. It belonged to me.”

“I don’t care if you _are_ Fen’Harel! Just _do_ something, before it’s – “ Cullen’s snarl was cut short by a long gasp. He looked down horrified.

“Love you,” Beatrix whispered as a trail of blood trickled down the left side of her mouth. Then she slumped into his embrace and was silent and still.

“No!” Cullen breathed. “Do something, the Anchor, just…”

Solas quickly removed it and turned back to Beatrix focusing on her. Golden rays shot from his hands for a short while. “The magic of the Anchor has reached her heart. I’m truly sorry, Commander.”

“Why did you do all this? You forced her to fight and come here! Why?”

“I needed the Anchor,” Solas replied, the look of sorrow on his face only making Cullen angrier. “I needed to tear down the Veil, to make everything as it once was. I was responsible for the fall of the elvhen. This was my burden alone. I had to make it right again.”

“Make it right?” Cullen yelled angrily. “How can _THIS_ be right? Make it right at her expense?”

“No,” Solas said sadly. “I never meant it to happen like this. I never wanted her to be hurt. I respect and love her as if she was my family. But I need to do this. Even if it means the death of your world, I must restore mine.”

“You would destroy the world? You would do this to her own children?” Cullen snarled angrily. “You killed their mother and now you would kill them? Fuck you!”

Cullen suddenly realized what he had said, looking down at her. Beatrix looked like she was sleeping, so lovely and peaceful. His sobs overtook him and he held her close. He didn’t even register that Solas activated the eluvian they had used to come into the area. He didn’t see Beatrix’s friends and companions stand around him. Didn’t hear them crying quietly. Didn’t hear them as they all mourned. And then the screams started as he crushed her to his chest, begging for death.

He should have died along with her.

He wanted to die. He wanted the pain he was feeling to stop.

And the only way to do this was to die.   

…


	32. Epilogue

Someone was yelling. The noise was confusing him, because he wanted to stop listening. Because he didn’t know who was yelling. Or maybe he did? His head began to hurt, the pain unbearable, even worse than the pain he had felt in the past, when his withdrawals had made him miserable. 

Someone was yelling. Insults to the Maker. To Andraste. To life itself.

Someone was yelling. Yelling so hard, the voice broke. Yelling so hard, the voice left. Yelling so hard that there was only silence and a great darkness that brought relief.

When Cullen opened his eyes, he saw nothing but a blue sky above. And the blueness of the sky filled him with a sense of well-being. The well-being was strange to him for it was unlike anything he had ever experienced.

He had never felt like this before – so absolutely peaceful. Not one care in the world he had come from. Not one care in the world he was now in. Just peace. Long, restful and invigorating peace. His soul took it thirstily and drank.

He immediately realized he was lying on grass, the greenest grass he had ever seen. A sweet smell enveloped him, bringing with it vague memories of his childhood. With the memories came laughter – the laughter he shared as a child with his siblings. And a feeling of happiness slowly crept upon him.

When he sat up, he discovered that the place he was in was the most beautiful place he had ever seen. It was a place that reminded him of home. It was a place that he wished to live in for the rest of his days.

He took in the faint sounds of a brook laughing merrily as it went along its way. He turned his head to the left and saw the brook. It looked perfectly serene and a smile slowly formed on his face as he began to notice more details of this curious but beautiful place. Tree branches swung lazily in the soft breeze and birds were chirping and singing their sweet song. Bushes full of ripe fruit and berries made him smile.

A twig snapped behind him, and he jumped up and turned around, instinctively reaching for the sword sheathed and strapped to his belt, but he discovered there was no sword.

It really didn’t matter anyway for the noise of the twig breaking had heralded the arrival of a person. A beautiful person who was walking towards him – a peaceful smile on her lips and love shining through her sapphire eyes.  

_Beatrix_.  

Instead of kissing her passionately like he wanted to, he took her in his arms, rocking her gently as she held on to him tightly. He held her close to his heart and she whispered words of love to him that were a balm for his soul.

And in an instant, he relived it all. The blood she coughed up as the magic from her mark squeezed her heart. Solas arriving to help and witnessing her death. The pain he had felt in his soul when she whispered she loved him before she died. The terror and sadness he felt of being completely and utterly alone for the rest of his days.

No one there to calm his fear of the dark, of the monsters that still visited him on occasion. No one there when he woke sweating from the nightmares.

It would all be past and the memories would be the only things that filled his days and nights.

He started to cry as he held her and she slowly and tenderly disengaged herself from his arms and looked up at him as she had done countless of times before.

“My love,” she said sweetly. “We will be together in a heartbeat. Time will not exist for us once you come back to me here.”

“Beatrix, I can’t,” he cried. “I cannot endure –“

“Cullen, we have two children who need their father more than ever now. I am sorry I won’t get to see them grow up. But you will,” she smiled, the love on her face making it even more beautiful.

“I cannot –“ he whined, but she placed her fingers over his mouth, tracing his scar briefly before her hand fluttered around his face in caresses that made him take a deep breath, the tears now slowly subsiding.

“You must,” she said. “You will _never_ be alone, my love. I will _always_ be there with you. You will feel my touch in every cool breeze that enters the room. When you are troubled I will be there. I will be there when you wake at nights drenched in sweat. I will not leave you. And then…”

“And then,” he finished for her, looking intently at her, his amber eyes alight with love, “we will be together at last one day.”

“Yes,” she smiled. “We will have our time together in Thedas also. It won’t be this time and era, but we will live the life that was taken from us too soon.”

He shook then, trembling with fear and want. With desire and love and pain. “Why was it taken from us?”

“Because Solas would have ripped open the Veil too soon, destroying all of Thedas,” a voice said behind them. “Even himself. He is not eternal. He can die and would have died.”

They turned to face her…the Lady in White.  
  
Andraste.  
  
She stood in front of them and smiled. A smile that brought hope and promise; respite and relief. At that moment, Cullen felt like he was being given a new lease on life.

“Do you mean to say Beatrix’s death stopped the end of the world?” Cullen asked the lady, whose yellow eyes now looked sadly at them both.

“Yes,” she replied. “He was saddened to see her dying in your arms, possibly the only human friend he had in his entire life. Beatrix gave him hope for a better tomorrow. She reminded him that he was good and not a monster like Corypheus. And she left her children behind. Solas could no longer carry out his plan with the guilt he felt. So he desisted. Although, he hasn’t realized this yet. He soon will, however.”

“How do you know all this, when you always say that you cannot see the future completely?” Beatrix asked with a frown.

“Because I know him well,” Andraste replied sadly. “All too well, I’m afraid.”

“But why did she have to die? I can’t – I can’t live this life without her!” Cullen insisted, fresh tears now falling down his face.

“You _will,_ ” the Lady replied. “You’ll do it because you love your children. But more importantly, you’ll do it because you love her. And you will do it because you will both meet again here at the end of your life, Commander. When the time comes, you both will be reunited in Thedas once again.”

“Why her? Why does everything fall to her? Why must she be the one to fix it?” Cullen sobbed, clinging to Beatrix, wishing to never let go.

“Because _she is my chosen one_ – and that is all I can reveal at this time. She will fight the darkness and bring the light.” The Lady paused as she started to glow. The glow filled Cullen with peace and love and hope for the future.

“She will bring the light to Thedas. Always.”

…

This time, when he opened his eyes, there was darkness. And he wasn’t lying on grass anymore, he was in the room he shared with Beatrix. He was on the bed with pillows all around him. He had been stripped of his armor, and lay in a sweat-drenched tunic and loose trousers – the kind he wore to sleep when the children were nearby.

He turned, the moonlight suddenly peeking from a dark cloud, and saw the empty pillow beside his. The bed neatly made on that side. Untouched by a human presence.

He was alone. He would always be alone.

His eyes filled with tears and he curled up on his side, keeping the empty pillow within sight. His mind supplied the image he so desperately sought and for the briefest of moments he could see her sleepily opening her wonderfully perfect eyes and smiling sweetly at him.

_Bad dreams?_

_They always are. Without lyrium they’re worse._

Even though he sobbed into his pillow to keep the noise from reaching the children’s room, he felt like he would never be able to get up to face the day. He was a coward. He couldn’t live without her. He knew he couldn’t; he wouldn’t be able to take it slowly or quickly or take steps to overcome the pain of a world without Beatrix in it. He wouldn’t be able to –

“Papa,” a sweet voice called from her side of the bed. Standing still in the moonlight was his daughter, her little face sleepy, but sad as she watched him closely, her blonde locks a disarray of curls. His daughter was not yet three, but she was so serious and aware of everything that happened around her. She was not like her twin who was a whirlwind that ended up charming others because of his bubbly personality.  

“Lenny,” Cullen whispered back, holding his arms open for the toddler, who immediately climbed on the bed and into his arms. “Lenny, my darling child. Can’t you sleep? Hmm?” He held her close to his heart and she sighed before she spoke.

“Papa, I miss mamma,” the little girl lisped. “Mamma coming home soon?”

Cullen only tightened his grip slightly on his little girl, then leaned back.

“Shall I sing you the lullaby you love? The one mamma sings?” he asked with a smile.

Lenny nodded to her father, a dimple appearing as she gave him a smile. Cullen put her under the covers and lay her down, then started to sing softly to the child. He did not stop until the little girl was fast asleep.

A light breeze came in through the open window. A breeze that caressed his face gently. The words Beatrix had said to him in her safe place suddenly came back to him. And he smiled through his tears.

_You will never be alone, my love. I will always be there with you. You will feel my touch in every cool breeze that enters the room. When you are troubled I will be there. I will be there when you wake at nights drenched in sweat. I will not leave you._

Then and there, Cullen knew he would not, _could not_ fail his children. Not with their mother watching over them all.

“Thank you, my love, for comforting me,” he whispered to the night, the grief in his heart lifting ever so slightly.

And he could almost hear her voice singing the tune he had just sung to their daughter. Singing softly as he drifted off to sleep.

…

The days turned to months and then years. Time flowed effortlessly in Cullen’s life and the children grew. He never remarried, but dedicated himself to the wellbeing of his son and daughter. He fought to protect Divine Victoria and, when the time came, went back to Skyhold where he opened a clinic to help  the templars overcome their lyrium addiction.

His children grew and both became knights in the new templar order. One without the lyrium chains that had tied their father to the Chantry so long ago.

Soon, age caught up with him. One afternoon, he sat on a chair overlooking the battlements. His memories were sharper than ever that lazy afternoon. It was as if Beatrix was with him the whole time, and he could hear her laughter ringing across the battlements.

He smiled to himself – a wistful smile – taking in the beauty of the mountain peaks all covered in snow. The quiet tranquility before sunset, the soldiers now gone. Some back to their own families, others to the barracks – those who remained to protect Skyhold. His children had already moved on with their lives. Both Andreas and Eleanora were married and had their own children to look after.

Cullen hadn’t changed much over the years. More lines on his face – the normal wrinkles that came with old age; his yellow mane of curls now white. He was content enough to stop styling his hair as he used to. It didn’t matter anymore. He was free from obligations and had been for a while. Now he could sit on his chair and imagine a life with Beatrix.

The life that had been taken away from them.

He sighed deeply and closed his eyes, feeling sleep overcome him.

The sunset came and went. When his daughter –  who was visiting Skyhold with her family at the time – came looking for him, she found him on the chair. His eyes were closed. She stepped forward with a smile then shook him gently.

“Papa, your grandchildren want you to tell them a bedtime story,” she said with a laugh. A few moments passed and Lenny shook him again when he did not open his eyes.

“Papa!” she called out this time with urgency. Cullen’s head lolled at an angle. “Papa!!! Papa!” Her screams filled the whole area and some soldiers ran to help, but nobody could.

Cullen Stanton Rutherford was dead. The only thing that kept his daughter from screaming and collapsing on the stone floor was the aura of peace that enveloped the man who was once Commander of the Inquisition forces – and the happy smile on his face – the same smile he gave her when he was smirking.

He was with her mother now and Lenny smiled through her tears.

They were together at long last.

…

Cullen opened his eyes. The sky was blue and the grass he was lying on felt comfortable, the sweet smell filling his nostrils. He sat up and smiled. He felt years younger and stood up, rushing to the brook where he looked at his face reflected in the clear water. A much younger version of himself looked back at him.

He felt her before he turned to look at her. She was as beautiful as she had always been. They rushed into each other’s arms, kissing each other with a passion and love that was both intense and desperate.

“I’ve missed you, my love!” Cullen crooned, rejoicing within at how she melded into his embrace.   

She looked up, her lovely sapphire eyes meeting his amber ones.

“Love me forever?” she asked with a twinkle.

“Forever and more,” he replied with a happy sigh.

The End?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, not the end. Cullen and Beatrix meet again in Part 2 of the Inquisition Revisited series. The fic is called ‘Another Chance’ and is set in the modern Thedas universe. Will they finally live happily ever after? Chapter 1 will be uploaded soon. :)


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